Group Of Guys Jerking Off

Group Of Guys Jerking Off

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Daniel Villarreal

on October 7, 2020

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In my early 20s, after a lifetime jerking off to pro-wrestling, stolen porno mags and internet smut, I learned of an Amsterdam jerk-off club at a bar called Stablemaster. The idea made me instantly hard. As a recent college grad, I’d never participated in a daisy chain or game of “soggy biscuit” before, and I’d certainly never been to a jerk-off club — Dallas, Texas, didn’t have them, and back when it did, they’d occasionally get raided by the cops.
So when I visited Amsterdam a few months later, my friend and I literally poked our heads into Stablemaster. Two frumpy, grey-haired men — the only ones in the entire bar — beckoned us to enter, but we left without so much as a hello or a drink. We had yet to learn of the delights of older, more experienced men.
Stablemaster has since closed, and while Amsterdam has other jerk-off club parties, the idea itself of a jerk-off club has turned me on ever since.
Well, I finally got the chance to visit one in Philadelphia.
I arrived as soon as the doors opened and followed a thick-set guy walking up the stairs — eyeing his ass every step of the way — to the second-floor loft space where the Philly Jacks hold their Sunday afternoon jerk-off club. A tattooed man at the landing had me sign a sheet agreeing to this statement printed on a nearby sign: “Jacks events involve nudity and solo, mutual and group exploration of safer sexuality. Oral-genital contact and anal contact of any kind are not allowed.”
Nearby, another sign at the jerk-off club party read:
A gentle reminder: “Yes!” means “Yes” & “No Thank You” really does mean “No Thank You.” It doesn’t mean “Try me again in 10 minutes.” If someone makes it clear that they’re not interested in playing with you, please be considerate and wait for them to approach you in the future.”
Atop the second flight of stairs, I met Philly Jax, the pseudonymous Philly Jacks coordinator. He’s a slender, adorkable 57-year-old man with a bushy, blond-grey beard and an easygoing demeanor. For the last 24 years, Jax has held Philly Jacks’ weekly jerk-off club events in this space, which doubles as the city’s Radical Faerie sanctuary and also his home. Jax hit me up for the $12 event fee and then handed me a numbered knapsack for my clothes.
Arranged behind Jax are a couch, several chairs, a table with stacks of ’90s-era porno mags and a kitchen bar with filtered water and hand sanitizer. Wearing only sneakers, my necklace and a quizzical expression, I emerged into the large backroom area where several white men (somewhere between their 30s and early 50s) stood around a large-screen TV half-watching a washed-out blowjob video.
I had a flight to catch in half an hour, so I immediately made eyes with a young, big-dicked 20-something standing near a pedestal with lube on it. After showing each other our hard cocks, raising an eyebrow and nodding in agreement, I walked over, said a quick “Hey,” and proceeded to jerk his beautiful, hanging piece while we occasionally kissed. I licked his armpits and ran my fingers through his soft, medium-length hair, pulling him closer so I could tongue him more deeply. He manhandled my furry ass and utterly destroyed my nipples. I came within a matter of minutes, holding him close to me as I shuddered, my cum squirting into my cupped hand.
After sighing a breathless “Thank you,” I unceremoniously slapped my wad into a nearby paper towel, threw it away while washing my hands and returned to Albo to get my clothes. While getting dressed, I noticed something exceptional — men of every age, race and body type began emerging from the stairwell and disrobing: a short, Asian 40-something with a trimmed bush and tattoos; a tall Latino in his 20s with a Prince Albert and a mustache; a muscular, Middle Eastern 30-something with bulging pecs and an ass made of dreams.
It was the most diverse sexual gathering I’d ever seen, more colorful and age-inclusive than any bathhouse or hook-up app I’d ever witnessed.
The 70-year-old standing to the side of the backroom struck me most of all. Nobody had engaged him yet, but I wondered, Where does a 70-year-old gay guy go to get off otherwise? The gay bar? A hookup app? I’ve since been informed that certain websites and apps cater to his age, but what a hassle, especially when there’s a jerk-off club filled with hot guys right in his own city.
Ever since then, I’ve become obsessed with setting up a jerk-off club in Dallas, which is what led me to interview three men who each founded a jerk-off club in their own towns of Philadelphia, NYC and Orlando. I wanted to learn more about how their respective jerk-off club came to be, how they’re operated and how they continue to thrive in this age of mobile apps and online hookups.
You can find that story (Part 2, if you will) with those jerk-off club interviews, here .
This story was originally published on Feb. 27, 2017
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How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Send your questions for Stoya and Rich to howtodoit@slate.com .
Last year, my husband of two years—together six—and I were out to drinks with his childhood friend and the friend’s fiancée. (We’re both straight couples.) When we were several in, we were talking about losing our virginities, and his friend’s fiancée made a comment along the lines of “well, you know what they used to do.” I did not know what they used to do! It turns out they masturbated together as teenagers, which included “giving each other a hand.” I was taken aback by this, but they all seemed to think it was hilarious, and my husband was embarrassed, so I shrugged it off. Teenagers do things. We didn’t talk about it again.
Recently, I was out with the fiancée for her bachelorette party. My husband was at the bachelor party the same night. Someone joked about them getting too friendly with strippers, and the fiancée said they were more likely to get too friendly with each other. She then started telling the group that she knew my husband, her fiancée, and at least one other guy from their friend group masturbated together into college and their 20s (we’re all around 30). She said she suspected they still do it now sometimes, but she doesn’t care because it’s “just jerking off.” I’m now kind of paranoid about this! I did some Googling that suggested this is a fetish for some guys who are with women. Um, is it? Is there a way I can bring this up with my husband without accusing him of cheating? If he’s hiding a major part of his sexuality, I kind of worry about what else he could be hiding.
It does seem like more straight-identified guys are getting into mutual masturbation with other so-called straight guys these days. Or maybe connectivity has made this phenomenon more accessible and easier to gauge and discuss? Ya never know with these things. A recent GQ trend piece explored the phenomenon of “straight” masturbation clubs, and I’ve seen online ads for such clubs that specifically target “straight” guys and more or less rebuke gay ones. I put “straight” in quotes because, sitting around, dicks out, perhaps polishing a penis that does not belong to you, sounds pretty far left of strictly hetero to me, but it’s also increasingly clear that there’s infinite space in the gray area between a Kinsey 0 and a 6 . It is therefore conceivable that there are guys out there who mostly have sex with women but enjoy the male bonding that comes with sitting around and busting some nuts with other men. As you may have noticed, spending time with naked men is fun.
So, perhaps this is not a major part of your husband’s sexuality but a minor one. The way I’m personally inclined to think about this goes something like: He could be sitting around with his buddies playing poker and holding cigars, or they could be sitting around watching porn and holding their dicks. It’s all time-passing leisure. If he’s not depleting himself of a sex drive from whacking it too much, or having his dick stripped raw by his buddies’ calloused workout hands, what’s the difference? You, naturally, are under no obligation to take such a laid-back stance. (After all, he’s your husband.) I think before you determine a method of bringing this up without accusing your husband of cheating, you should figure out if you consider this to be cheating. Many would! If you’re in a monogamous arrangement, it’s perfectly reasonable to expect your husband to keep his hands on his own controller and not be playing another guy’s joystick. You can bring this up quite easily by referencing the previous conversation on this topic that you were both present for. Request more detail and clarity. He might be embarrassed, but he owes you the full story. For maximum extraction potential, work from love and compassion, not shame.
The fiancée of your husband’s potential jerk buddy, though, is a real piece of work, isn’t she? She’s probably making things more difficult by being so loose-lipped about your husband’s potential predilection, something you have every right to feel sensitive about and not want blabbed. I think you’re in the right to tell her to cram it, if you’re so inclined. You needn’t be delicate with her.
I’m a woman in my early 30s, three years out of a decadelong relationship that featured traditional, infrequent, and very unsatisfying sex. Now that I’m getting reacquainted with my sexuality, I’m making up for lost time and discovering that I’m much kinkier than I realized! I’ve been having lots of fun saying “yes” to any sexual scenario that piques my interest—bondage, a threesome, polyamorous partners—and am hungry for more. My question is: How do I find them?
I don’t give off kinky vibes. I’m a mother, dress traditionally femme, and strike people as a “girl next door”—a persona I love subverting behind closed doors. I live in a somewhat conservative, rural university town and work in a community-facing field that requires I be discreet, so I don’t feel like I can go freely cruising on apps. The bar scene here caters to the student crowd; my friends are mostly colleagues. Being safe (physically and sexually) is important to me, and I’m more interested in finding partners for regular play than an anonymous one-night stand. I’m not near any big cities, and we don’t have anything like a swingers’ club (at least that Google has been able to reveal), but I’m sure others like me are out there. How do I subtly advertise myself as a kindred spirit?
Dear Seeking the Secret Handshake,
Uh, it seems like you’re doing fine? Bondage, a threesome, and polyamorous partners in the past three years? That’s more excitement than a lot of people experience in a lifetime. Given your hawkish approach to discretion, moving at a slower pace and taking the kink as it trickles in might just be what you have to do. But I suppose there are ways to maximize your sex having. You can talk to the kinky/poly partners you’ve had about where to find more and/or congregate. You may not feel comfortable freely cruising on apps, but you could certainly at least create online profiles without any identifying features (such as a picture of your face) and see what kind of catch that yields. There are poly groups all over the country —surely one is within at least occasionally attainable distance from you. You may also want to go poking around whatever major metropolitan area is nearest you for other fun. This isn’t ideal, but you have a lot of constraints here (I’m talking about the figurative ones in this case). Given that you seem intent on protecting your public identity from being soiled by the fact that you are a human with sexual desires, it may be useful to essentially relocate your sex life while keeping your working/nonsexual social life where it is.
You could also consider coming out to some degree (or at least, not being so intent on remaining closeted). A lot of the time, the idea of other people knowing about our private sexuality is a lot scarier than the reality, and it’s much easier to go after the pleasure you’re interested in without the obstruction of hypothetical outside judgment. This is by no means true for everyone everywhere, though, so certainly weigh the risks and rewards with careful thought.
I’m a cis gay guy in my mid-20s. I’ve been sexually active since high school but had never had anal sex—topping or bottoming—until a few months ago, when years of psychotherapy finally kicked in. I realized I wanted to bottom, worked through a lot of fear and stigma, read up on the mechanics of butts, and have been having a great time.
Over the course of my newly energized hookups, I’ve grown curious about topping. My problem is that I am terrible at it. I can’t seem to stay hard enough to get it in, and the one time I did I almost immediately went soft. I’ve tried with three or four guys, all of them attractive to me and patient. I used to think the problem was my inexperience wearing a condom, but a recent bareback attempt confirmed that this was not the case.
I wonder if topping may just be physiologically challenging for me, but I suspect there’s a significant psychological component: I don’t have hardness issues during other kinds of sex; I still have some residual anxiety around anal sex (pain, mess, safety, the usual); and I know that I’m only at my very, very hardest when my partner is engaging with some of my more out-there kinks and fetishes.
I’d genuinely like to be able to do this if I can. (There’s no rush, fortunately. I’m just eager and exploring.) Should I keep doing what I’m doing—sticking with my therapy, hoping I’ll find the right bottom for me, expecting some more abortive topping attempts along the way? Or is there anything else I could sanely do to speed this along: cock rings, mental exercises, Viagra, elephant-tusk potions?
Yep, cock rings and E.D. meds sound right. Try them out in that order. (I’ve never had much luck with pelvic-floor strengthening myself, but I know that some guys swear by it.) If you’re an ardent masturbator/porn user, try laying off for a few days to see if that gets you horny for some butt.
It sounds like you’re mostly just anxious—I wonder if the times when you’ve tried to top, you’ve essentially put yourself on the spot and then found yourself too shook to finish the job. Fear can be a major boner killer. You could probably do with a more relaxed scenario, perhaps with a vers guy who is as happy topping as he is bottoming. This way, all the pressure isn’t on your maintained erection to render the sex act successful. You might even be a good candidate for flipping—maybe you need to get fully turned on via bottoming before you can top. You might also just need the kink element there.
It could be that physiology has rendered you a natural bottom, but I think you have some more exploring and experimenting to do. Topping can feel very overwhelming, which is why it’s important to do so with a partner you are comfortable with. The right elements in place will help it along. Sometimes it takes that one successful ball in the goal, so to speak, to prove to yourself that you are the stud you suspect you might be, and topping just gets exponentially easier from there. But if it doesn’t work out, don’t beat yourself up: There’s no shame in being a full-time bottom, and you’ve been having a great time doing that anyway. When all else fails, make like Jerri Blank and go with whatcha know .
In high school, my then-boyfriend wanted to perform a particular sex act on me. He asked at least three times separately, and each time I said no, and he didn’t carry it further. I really, really did not want him to do what he was asking to do. I had even written out a little speech I was going to read to him saying it would never be in the cards. Then he asked when I was high (before I’d worked up the courage to read him the speech), and I said yes. I ended up liking it, and we did it many times with my consent. But I know I wouldn’t have said yes the first time if I hadn’t been high. Maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion, but since I said no several times, I feel like he shouldn’t have asked while I was impaired. It is now two years later, and I have never felt traumatized by this. Was that a violation? What do I call what happened? Should I reach out to him about this and let him know? We ended on pretty bad terms, but if this was a violation, then I would be willing to send him a message so that he doesn’t make the same mistake with anyone else.
I’m always going to come down on the side of communication, especially w
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