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These tips should help navigate the maze of dating apps. (Illustration by Andrew Moghab, School of Visual Arts)
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4954 SPACE CENTER DRIVE / SAN ANTONIO, TX 78218
Grindr can be intimidating and confusing to use for anyone. Here’s all the information you need to know to navigate it effectively.
Grindr can be intimidating and confusing to use for anyone. Here’s all the information you need to know to navigate it effectively.
Launched in 2009, Grindr is “ the world’s largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans and queer people .” The app even preceded the advent of Tinder, the most popular dating app in America . However, “social networking” on Grindr can only be taken in the broadest sense. People don’t go on the app to professionally network with others or chat with people, and if they do, better places exist.
Grindr is a gay hookup app, regardless of what someone may tell themselves when they enter this unfortunately notorious world. Most people are on Grindr for one reason and one reason only — to have sex.
While Grindr revolutionized the gay community , its reputation is marred by a history of racist bios and unsolicited abuse. If you’ve been on the app, you have probably seen “No Asians, no blacks” or other exclusionist and outright racist sentiments, which is grossly justified under the pretense of “preference.”
What happened to that timeless saying: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all? Andrew Londyn, a blogger who wrote a book about how to survive Grindr, said “We’re dehumanizing each other… we just view them as a picture.”
While there are obvious problems with Grindr, the fact remains that the app is the easiest way to find immediate gratification. Gay people don’t have the privilege of assuming that people are straight; wondering whether someone is also into guys or not is a daily struggle most people don’t have to consider.
When you log in for the first time, you have to acclimate to Grindr’s lexicon, starting with your profile. The process is very flexible — you can choose what you want to include or leave out. The more information you provide, however, the more somebody has to judge you upon, whether positively or negatively.
Most of the profile section is self-explanatory identity information, but then you come across the “Accepts NSFW Pics.” While NSFW literally stands for “Not Safe For Work,” just read that as “Accepts D-ck Pics.” Adding pictures and more details to your profile correlates with more messages and “taps,” a mysterious mechanism to get someone’s attention without sending a message.
Messaging people is not quite the same as everyday texting. “What’s up” is now less a greeting and more of a check to see if somebody will be responsive or not. “What are you into” is still getting to know about your interests, but don’t be naive about what kind of interests (most people do not waste time on this app).
And then, there’s more lingo about people’s preferences and how they would like to go about pursuing those. Femme or fem means more feminine-presenting people, while masc is short for masculine. Discreet or down low, often abbreviated DL, means that person wants to maintain a level of anonymity for whatever reason. Finally, you may encounter people looking for “NSA” fun, which stands for “no strings attached.” They’re looking for sex but without the emotional attachment.
The profile also has different tribes, which allow users to identify themselves within a group and narrow their search to find that “type” of person. The labels are not all-inclusive and are conducive to stereotypical associations. Because of this, there are mixed responses whether they are useful or problematic .
Bears are larger, hairier men; Otters are thinner, hairier men, while twinks are typically also thinner men but with little to no body hair. Clean-cut and rugged are simply ways of grooming. Daddies are older, often dominant men, perhaps “sugar daddies” seeking a “baby” to pamper in exchange for favors.
Jocks are athletically built and inclined towards sports, while geeks more generally have a deep interest in one area. Leather refers to a sexual fetish for leather , such as suits or whips. Trans refers to the transgender identity, and poz refers to someone who is HIV-positive. Finally, sober means the person is not looking to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol if they hook up with someone.
This is a tough question. Often, as with any stranger, meeting up with someone requires taking a little bit of a risk. The answer varies depending on what you are comfortable with. For example, if someone refuses to send an additional picture some might respect that choice but others might not trust that person.
However, a good rule of thumb is to follow the common sense you learned as a child. Just as you would with spam emails, don’t click on links that are messaged to you. Don’t enter strangers’ cars or homes without at least one person knowing your whereabouts. Having a buddy to text when you leave and return never hurts.
Grindr is a place to advocate for yourself and not worry about what other people think or want until you actually meet up. If a potential partner isn’t willing to meet you where you’re at, then it’s probably not going to be a good experience anyway. Along those lines, don’t take any actions or sentiments expressed by others personally. You are so much more of a beautiful human being than can be conveyed on Grindr. They only know your pictures and your profile, after all.

These tips should help navigate the maze of dating apps. (Illustration by Andrew Moghab, School of Visual Arts)
I agree to my Facebook data being stored and used as per Privacy Policy
If you're not a fish leave this field blank:

4954 SPACE CENTER DRIVE / SAN ANTONIO, TX 78218
Grindr can be intimidating and confusing to use for anyone. Here’s all the information you need to know to navigate it effectively.
Grindr can be intimidating and confusing to use for anyone. Here’s all the information you need to know to navigate it effectively.
Launched in 2009, Grindr is “ the world’s largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans and queer people .” The app even preceded the advent of Tinder, the most popular dating app in America . However, “social networking” on Grindr can only be taken in the broadest sense. People don’t go on the app to professionally network with others or chat with people, and if they do, better places exist.
Grindr is a gay hookup app, regardless of what someone may tell themselves when they enter this unfortunately notorious world. Most people are on Grindr for one reason and one reason only — to have sex.
While Grindr revolutionized the gay community , its reputation is marred by a history of racist bios and unsolicited abuse. If you’ve been on the app, you have probably seen “No Asians, no blacks” or other exclusionist and outright racist sentiments, which is grossly justified under the pretense of “preference.”
What happened to that timeless saying: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all? Andrew Londyn, a blogger who wrote a book about how to survive Grindr, said “We’re dehumanizing each other… we just view them as a picture.”
While there are obvious problems with Grindr, the fact remains that the app is the easiest way to find immediate gratification. Gay people don’t have the privilege of assuming that people are straight; wondering whether someone is also into guys or not is a daily struggle most people don’t have to consider.
When you log in for the first time, you have to acclimate to Grindr’s lexicon, starting with your profile. The process is very flexible — you can choose what you want to include or leave out. The more information you provide, however, the more somebody has to judge you upon, whether positively or negatively.
Most of the profile section is self-explanatory identity information, but then you come across the “Accepts NSFW Pics.” While NSFW literally stands for “Not Safe For Work,” just read that as “Accepts D-ck Pics.” Adding pictures and more details to your profile correlates with more messages and “taps,” a mysterious mechanism to get someone’s attention without sending a message.
Messaging people is not quite the same as everyday texting. “What’s up” is now less a greeting and more of a check to see if somebody will be responsive or not. “What are you into” is still getting to know about your interests, but don’t be naive about what kind of interests (most people do not waste time on this app).
And then, there’s more lingo about people’s preferences and how they would like to go about pursuing those. Femme or fem means more feminine-presenting people, while masc is short for masculine. Discreet or down low, often abbreviated DL, means that person wants to maintain a level of anonymity for whatever reason. Finally, you may encounter people looking for “NSA” fun, which stands for “no strings attached.” They’re looking for sex but without the emotional attachment.
The profile also has different tribes, which allow users to identify themselves within a group and narrow their search to find that “type” of person. The labels are not all-inclusive and are conducive to stereotypical associations. Because of this, there are mixed responses whether they are useful or problematic .
Bears are larger, hairier men; Otters are thinner, hairier men, while twinks are typically also thinner men but with little to no body hair. Clean-cut and rugged are simply ways of grooming. Daddies are older, often dominant men, perhaps “sugar daddies” seeking a “baby” to pamper in exchange for favors.
Jocks are athletically built and inclined towards sports, while geeks more generally have a deep interest in one area. Leather refers to a sexual fetish for leather , such as suits or whips. Trans refers to the transgender identity, and poz refers to someone who is HIV-positive. Finally, sober means the person is not looking to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol if they hook up with someone.
This is a tough question. Often, as with any stranger, meeting up with someone requires taking a little bit of a risk. The answer varies depending on what you are comfortable with. For example, if someone refuses to send an additional picture some might respect that choice but others might not trust that person.
However, a good rule of thumb is to follow the common sense you learned as a child. Just as you would with spam emails, don’t click on links that are messaged to you. Don’t enter strangers’ cars or homes without at least one person knowing your whereabouts. Having a buddy to text when you leave and return never hurts.
Grindr is a place to advocate for yourself and not worry about what other people think or want until you actually meet up. If a potential partner isn’t willing to meet you where you’re at, then it’s probably not going to be a good experience anyway. Along those lines, don’t take any actions or sentiments expressed by others personally. You are so much more of a beautiful human being than can be conveyed on Grindr. They only know your pictures and your profile, after all.

Tuesday - November 12, 2013 by Former Staff | 14 Comments
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Last edited 8 months ago by Dascoboy Orlando
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It was hard enough to figure a guy out in the old days, when you actually met face to face over a beer and got to talk before a roll in the hay. That has become even more difficult in our digital world, which has drawn gay guys away bars to spend their evenings at home texting on hookup apps in an effort to find “The One” or “The One Right Now.”
So how does one interpret the gay app vocabulary? Well, it’s clear from a recent review of the most popular apps that “sup?” is a deal breaker, even though it is simply a more efficient way of asking “what’s up?” Many guys post on their profiles that they won’t respond to that query, although our reviewer suspects that most of them will forgive a “sup?” text if it comes from a guy whose pic shows a well-defined set of abs and a muscular chest.
Other standard phrases are open to interpretation. We’ve taken the liberty to appropriate a very amusing and insightful one from a Scruff user whose identity we will keep private.
Here’s his take on the hidden meanings behind regular conversation on gay apps:
Thx = Move on quickly. = Can’t even give you a word he’s so bored and disengaged.
= As first response, this is a polite dismissal. Conversation over.
Hey handsome = Positive engagement. Possibly fishing outside their category.
lol (lower case) = Polite amusement, questionable engagement. LOL (all caps) = Engaged, proceed with caution. May be false enthusiasm. You may be funny but not hot.
What’s up? = Proceed with pic or preference query.
More pics? = Everyone has one good photo. You better have more from this decade.
Looking? = Pretty clear they will stick it in anything or get stuck by anything.
You party? = Unless you’re into a wild-eyed, jelly-d*cked uber orifice who looks like Gollum in a jock wearing a baseball hat, keep moving.
Generous? = You are old and suspected to have to pay for sex. Block immediately and find younger looking pic.
For those looking for a detailed reference, check out our definitions of common lingo for gay apps below.
Here’s a list of the various jargon used by gay app users and their respective meanings.
What’re you into? / What do you like? = What’s your sexual preference (top/bottom/vers/other) and what do you generally want from a hookup?
Clean = HIV Negative. [ WEHOville does not endorse the dichotomy of “dirty/clean” to describe HIV status. We do encourage knowing the status of your sexual partners]
Masc = Masculine, “straight-acting,” a guy’s guy.
Femme / Fems = Guys with feminine characteristics, a “queen.”
Discreet / DL = On the “down low,” not “out” or comfortable with broadcasting their sexuality. Usually won’t send face pics to keep identity private.
Catfish = Users who aren’t what their profile and pics say they are. Comes from the movie, “ Catfish .”
Host = Can have people over. “You host” means they’ll only come to you. Use it in a sentence: “I can’t host, I have a roommate.”
Stats = Having a filled out description for your profile (height, age, relationship status, interests).
Neg4Neg = HIV Negative, looking for HIV Negative men.
No Agenda = Not looking for anything specific. Open to having fun, making friends, chatting, dating, etc. Whatever comes.
Non-scene = Not into the “WeHo” scene. Doesn’t like gay clubs, gay bars, camp language, short shorts, etc. Also not into having good looks.
NSA = “No Strings Attached.” Not interested in a relationship or getting to know you. Use it in a sentence: “Looking for NSA fun.”
Safe = Into safe fun only (condoms, protection, etc.).
420 Friendly = Likes to smoke marijuana. If you have some, would definitely join you.
Something we missed? Post any lingo you know in the comments below.
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WTF is the new “Dirty” tag on grindr? Does it relate to HIV status?
What does ‘let’s discuss’ as a response to sexual safety questions indicate?
Someone who can stick another person to inject a substance (usually drugs like Chrystal Meth) is an admin.
What does PR mean on pro n username
I seestrings of capital letters, I assume they have meaning but what? GB comes up a lot but others too, any ideas???
Could mean Gay and/or Bisexual or it could also be for GHB / liquid “G”, a drug used for enhanced sexual situations.
Bot is for: Bottom – they receive anal penetration from a top or vers and vers is for: Versatile-they are willing to be a top or bottom to accommodate who they are with. Sexually

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