Grindr Fwb

Grindr Fwb
This is where anyone can ask the manly men for their opinions on various topics. Advice. AskReddit style questions. AMA. ELI5. Everything in between.
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I’ve been hooking up with this older guy. Been having a great time. We were supposed to meet up tonight, but I noticed he’s gone on Grindr. I checked on a second profile and I don’t see him, so I guess he deleted his. What happened? We’ve been having such a great time and he seemed eager to see me tonight. Should I go to his workplace and see him or is that too desperate? 😅 If he’s not interested then I’ll accept that, but just want to make sure nothing happened on my end and he thinks I’m not interested.
If his account is gone, give it 24hrs. If he doesn’t pop back up, then I’d move on. In most cases, guys will just delete their account and be done with Grindr.
Dang, what’s the mindset with this?
Don’t pop up at someone’s workplace. You don’t have his number?
Ive found this happen a few times and then they pop up again and get in contact ...... reason almost 100% of time.. has been Ohh i was dating / seeing someone. Seems to be a thing, the minute u start dating / bf relationship u delete grindr. Maybe this what happened?
Should I go to his workplace and see him or is that too desperate?
No. No, no, no. Who knows what's happening but he can always find you again.

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Plus: Harry Potter’s keeping me single & Hubby wants a twink
Morro (Heather Marie Annis, right) and Jasp (Amy Lee) phone it in with their new mobile app.
I’m a middle-aged homo trying to figure out Grindr. Is it impolite to go on Grindr if you’re not looking for an immediate hookup? My preferred form of sexual relationship is the friend-with-benefits situation. I go on Grindr looking to make friends who could, at least potentially, be sex partners, but I like to do the friend thing before the sex. I’ve had guys call me an asshole because I exchanged messages with them for 20 minutes and then didn’t come right over and fuck them. Do they have a point? Does logging into a hookup app like Grindr imply openness to an immediate sexual encounter?
Talking Online Repulses Some Others
Always be up front about your intentions, TORSO. The best way to do that is by creating a profile – on Grindr or elsewhere – that clearly describes what you want and what you’re up for. Because good partners (sexual or otherwise) communicate their wants clearly. Adding something like this to your profile should do it: “My preferred form of sexual relationship is the friend-with-benefits situation. I go on Grindr looking to make friends who could, at least potentially, be sex partners, but I like to do the friend thing before the sex.”
Grindr is an app designed and marketed to facilitate hookups, but some people have found friends, lovers and husbands there (usually after hooking up first). So being on a hookup app doesn’t automatically mean you’re looking for “right now,” and it certainly doesn’t obligate you to fuck every guy you swap messages with. But if you’re not clear in your profile or very first message about what you’re doing there, TORSO, guys looking for a hookup on that hookup app will be rightly annoyed with you. (The time and energy he sunk into you could have been sunk into someone looking for right now.) If you are clear, guys seeking instacock have only themselves to blame for wasting their time on you.
Your timing could also have something to do with guys calling you an asshole. Are you exchanging messages at 2 in the morning for 20 minutes? Because most guys on Grindr at that hour are seeking immediate sexual encounters. If you’re just chatting in the middle of the night, then you’re probably wasting someone’s time – if, again, you’re not being absolutely clear about what you’re doing there. Also, TORSO, Grindr is location-based, which means you’re going to get a different experience based on where you’re using it. Some neighbourhoods seem to be filled with messy guys looking for chemsex, bless their hearts. In others, you’ll find unwoke twinks who are on Grindr to swap (highly problematic) GIFs of Black women pulling faces. And if you’re in a rural area, it’s likely you’ll message your full cast of Grindr torsos within a few days.
Think of Grindr as a giant gay bar – most guys are there to hook up, a few just want to hang out and chat, some dudes are really messed up (avoid them), and no one is at their best around closing time.
I’m a 25-year-old gay woman and I’ve been looking for a girlfriend for the past two years. I post on dating websites, go to the lesbian club, take part in the LGBTQ+ scene at my university and put myself in places where I might meet women. But I’m worried that my persona deters women: I’m extremely analytic, a doctoral student and university instructor. Whenever I meet a girl, our conversation always goes in the same direction: She thinks it’s cool I work with literature and then brings up her favourite pop-culture novel like Harry Potter. I say something like, “I’ve never read Harry Potter, but people rave about it. What do you like about it? I took an online Harry Potter test once for a friend, and it said I was a Slytherin.” At this point, things change. The girl I’m speaking with gets flustered. She says something like, “Oh, I’m not good at describing things,” seemingly feeling pressured to give me an intellectual response, like I’m giving her a quiz. I’m not sure what to do about this. I am having trouble maintaining casual and fun conversations despite my intentions. I come off as intense. I think I’m a pretty attractive person, but my dating life is starting to make me feel differently. I work out regularly and take good care of myself. How can I find a woman I jibe with?
A Lesbian Obviously Needs Excitement
You’re doing all the right things – almost. You’re getting out there, you’re not shy about initiating conversation and you’re moving on multiple fronts – online, club nights, LGBTQTSLFNBQGQIA+++ groups. Join a women’s athletic organization – join a softball league – and you’ll be moving on every lesbo front. That said, ALONE, I’m surprised this hasn’t popped into your extremely analytic head: If Y happens whenever I do X, and Y isn’t the desired outcome, then maybe I should knock this X shit the fuck off. Your response to the mention of Harry Potter drips with what I trust is unintentional condescension. (“I’ve never read it… What do you like about it… I took an online test once for a friend…”) Don’t want women to think you’re administering a quiz? Don’t want women to get the impression you’re too intellectual for them? Don’t want to seem like someone incapable of keeping things casual and fun? Don’t administer quizzes, don’t subtly telegraph your disgust and keep things casual by offering a little info about yourself instead of probing. (“I haven’t read the Harry Potter books, but I’m a huge Emma Watson fangirl. Who isn’t, right?”) And maybe go ahead and read Harry Potter already.
I’m a married woman whose hot, hung husband is into “beautiful women and pretty boys” (his words – and he means boyish men of legal age, of course). It took a dozen years to get that out of him. I’d watched him drool over pretty male baristas and waiters, but it wasn’t until I found twink porn on his computer that he came out about his “narrow slice of bisexuality.” (Again, his words.) Now that it’s out – now that he’s out – he’s anxious to have a three-way with me and a femme guy. I’m up for it, but the pretty boys we’re finding online who are into my husband aren’t into me. My husband says he would feel too guilty doing it without me, which means he may not be able to do it at all. I want him to do it. It turns me on to think about. I don’t have to be there.
Hubby’s Underlying BiBiological Yearnings
Let your hot, hung husband find a pretty boy he likes, HUBBY, then ask for the boy’s email or phone number or IG handle or whatever, and have a quick back-channel convo with him. Let him know your hot, hung husband (HHH) wants his ass and that you’ll be there – but only at the start. Once drinks have been served, the ice has been broken, and a little spit has been swapped (between him and HHH), tell him you’ll invent a reason to excuse yourself (your period, bad clams, whatever), leaving him alone with your HHH. At that point, HHH can decide for himself if he wishes to proceed without you but with your blessing (which you can toss over your shoulder on your way out of the room). Good luck!
On the Lovecast, Rachel Lark and the Damaged Goods: savagelovecast.com .
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Below you'll find helpful definitions of each available Tag on Grindr. Pro-tip: if you're curious about a specific tag, we recommend using your browser's "Find in page" feature to search for the Tag in question.
This glossary is also translated into French , German , and Italian .
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Adventurous : Interested in new or thrilling experiences sexually or in other areas of their life.
Anon : Short for "anonymous." This usually indicates a preference not to know a lot of personal details before connecting.
Bator : Prefers self or mutual masturbation over penetration in their sex life.
BB : An acronym for “bareback,” or penetrative sex without a condom.
Beach : Enjoys hanging out on sandy or pebbly shores.
Beard : The hair that grows on a person's face.
Bi : Short for bisexual. Has an attraction to more than one gender.
Bondage : Enjoys the state or practice of being physically restrained, tied up, chained, or put in handcuffs, for sexual gratification.
Brunch : Brunch is a combination of breakfast and lunch eaten during the late morning.
Bubblebutt : Has a symmetrical, smooth, round and soft butt.
Carplay : Having sexual relations in a car.
Catperson : Is a cat owner or is someone who loves cats.
Chastity : Has an interest in having their genitals locked down or otherwise restrained. This person might also not be looking for sex or has vowed celibacy.
Chill : Has a relaxed, easy-going personality.
Chub : Considers themselves to be chubby.
Cleancut : Gives the appearance of neatness.
College : Currently attending college.
Concerts : Enjoys going to live musical events.
Condoms : Practices sex with condoms.
Condomsonly : Condoms are their chosen form of protection all of the time.
Confident : Feels or shows confidence in themself; self-assured.
Cooking : Enjoys the culinary arts and preparing food.
Couple : Two individuals in a partnership, possibly looking for a third.
Cub : Is a smaller, (typically) younger version of a bear.
Cuddling : Is looking to snuggle and maybe get into some heavy petting. Folks with this tag are not necessarily looking to have sex.
Curious : Interested in trying new sexual activities, can also include curiosity around openness to gender in a partner (e.g. bi-curious).
Daddy : Is an older, mature man with strong provider energy; can also mean someone younger but with masculine or dominant energy.
Dancing : Enjoys moving their body in a rhythmic way.
Dating : Wants to go out for dinner, drinks or coffee, not just sex.
Direct : Is an honest and open, straightforward person.
Dirty : Refers to their interests in sex (dirty kinks, dirty armpits, dirty talk) rather than hygiene, STI status or substance use.
Discreet : Wants to keep their private life private. This person may or may not be out about their LGBTQ identity or their kinks.
DIY : An acronym for "do it yourself" which is the method of building, modifying, or repairing things by oneself without the direct aid of professionals or certified experts.
DL : An acronym for "down-low" meaning closeted or seeking hooking up outside a relationship.
Dogperson : Is a dog owner or is someone who loves dogs.
Dom : Short for "dominant" (and the “D” in BDSM), a dom is the aggressive partner who typically takes charge during a sexual session. The dom serves to satisfy a sub who, in a healthy BDSM relationship, has already expressed their boundaries prior to play. Note: the dom may not always be a top.
Drag : Is a drag queen or king or is someone who is a fan of drag.
DTF : An acronym for “down to fuck" meaning open to connections that center having sex.
Edging : Takes the long road to orgasm by repeatedly nearing and denying climax, building toward a deeper, stronger orgasm.
Fashion : Enjoys the design and aesthetics of clothing and accessories.
Feet : This person is aroused by feet, by their own or other people's.
Femme : Shorthand for “feminine”. This person’s appearance and/or mannerisms could be perceived as what’s considered traditionally feminine.
FF : An acronym which means "fist fucking." This person likes inserting the entire hand into someone's hole. One may be an FF top, and FF bottom, or both.
Flexible : This person is physically flexible. Could also be referring to their sexuality.
Friends : Seeking platonic connections, typically without sex.
FTM : An acronym for “female to male,” meaning this person’s sex was assigned female at birth but identifies as male or masculine.
Fun : Loves to have a good time sexually and has a playful outlook on life.
Furries : Has a sexual interest in anthropomorphic characters or animal-like characters. The fetish may also include an attraction to stuffed animals or wearing costumes and isn’t necessarily sexual.
FWB : An acronym for “friends with benefits,” the benefit of which is sex. May be looking for ongoing sex with someone but not necessarily in a romantic way.
Gear : Is aroused by fetish gear, such as harnesses, restraints, and the like.
GH : An acronym for “glory hole,” which are fist-sized holes used mostly for anonymous handjobs, oral, and penetrative sex. They’re typically found in bathhouses, adult theaters, restrooms, and even people’s homes.
Goofy : Has a foolish or harmlessly eccentric personality.
Group : Fond of orgies and group sex.
Hands : This person is aroused by hands and appreciates manual methods of stimulation.
Hiking : Enjoys walking in nature as a recreational activity.
Hosting : Can host someone at their place.
Jock : In good physical shape; may also indicate they play, or have played, sports.
Karaoke : Enjoys singing along to recorded music using a microphone, usually in a club or bar.
Kind : Has a good or benevolent nature or disposition.
Kink : Is turned on by something that may not be considered the norm. Can also be described as in opposition to "vanilla" sex.
Latex : Has a sexual preference or desire for latex items, usually apparel and accessories.
Leather : Aroused by and attracted to leather. Also can be one's cultural identity.
Lesbian : Anyone who identifies as a woman and is attracted to other women.
Limits : Has limits about what they'll do sexually, and often clarified beforehand and respected.
Lingerie : Interested in wearing, or playing with someone dressed in, feminine undergarments.
Looking : Is currently looking for sex.
Loyal : Is giving or shows constant support to other people.
LTR : An acronym for “long-term relationship."
Masc : Has an appearance and/or mannerisms that could be perceived as what’s considered traditionally masculine.
Mature : An older user; someone who acts grown-up when interacting with others.
Military : Served or currently serves in the military, or someone into military roleplay or gear fetish.
Monogamy : Seeking a monogamous relationship where sexual and romantic aspects are one-to-one only, meaning a relationship with one person, opposed to multiple.
Movies : Interest in motion picture, or film.
MTF : An acronym for “male to female,” meaning this person’s sex was assigned male at birth but identifies as female.
Muscle : Has visibly noticeable muscles; is physically fit.
Music : Enjoys music including live performances.
Naps : Likes sleeping for short periods of time, either alone or with others, usually during the day.
Nipples : Gets aroused when their own nipples, or someone else's nipples, are teased or played with.
Nosmoking : Interested in someone who doesn't smoke cigarettes.
NSA : An acronym for “no strings attached,” meaning sex without emotional fidelity without any future expectations.
Nylons : Enjoys wearing, or playing with someone dressed in, nylon or pantyhose.
Outgoing : Friendly and socially confident.
Pic4pic : Will trade pictures, and expects to receive one in exchange for sending their own.
Piercings : Into body modification, wearing jewelry attached to the body.
Pits : Enjoys licking and sniffing armpits, or having this done to them.
Poly : Short for “polyamorous,” a type of openly non-monogamous relationship that refers to people who have multiple intimate relationships at the same time.
Public : Having sex in a public place.
Pup : Is the pup in pup play, oftentimes obedient to their handler.
Pupplay : A subset of the “pet play” fetish, where individuals behave and inhabit the headspace of a dog. While the fetish centers around canines, no actual animals are involved.
Quickie : Interested in a brief sexual encounter.
Reliable : Consistent, dependable person.
Roleplay : Enjoys playing a character to help bring a sexual fantasy or dynamic to life. Some examples include acting out a teacher/student or doctor/patient experience.
Romantic : A person with romantic beliefs and/or interests.
Rough : Refers to physically rough sexual encounters.
RPDR : An acronym for the TV show RuPaul's Drag Race.
Rubber : Has a sexual preference or desire for rubber apparel and accessories. See also: condoms, condomsonly.
Rugged : Gives the impression of a rough aesthetic. Often used to describe outdoorsy individuals.
Safersex : Prefers safer sex practices, such as condom use, taking PrEP, and/or having an undetectable viral load. Could also indicate a preference not to have penetrative sex.
Showoff : Enjoys being an exhibitionist, masturbating and/or showing off their body for others.
Shy : Reserved, or having or showing nervousness or timidity.
Sissy : A term for someone considered feminine. Someone who self-identifies as a sissy is likely aroused by its implicit degradation.
Smooth : Is either naturally hairless, or shaves their body hair.
Sober : Doesn't drink alcohol. May refer to drug use as well.
Spanking : Is aroused by spanking/flogging.
Sub : Short for “submissive” (and the “S” in BDSM), a sub takes the more compliant role during sex, but isn't always the bottom.
T4T : A trans person who is primarily or exclusively seeking connections with other trans people.
Tattoos : Into the practice of inserting ink and/or pigments into the skin.
Tentacles : Has a sexual interest in tentacles and the creatures that possess them. Tentacles are a sub-genre of hentai, the sexualized genre of Japanese manga and anime.
Theater : Interested in the collaborative form of performing arts that uses live performers.
Toys : Likes playing with sex toys (such as dildos or vibrators).
Trans : Short for “transgender,” meaning their gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth. Does not specify any expectations around
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