Grinding Orgasm

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Grinding Orgasm
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9 People With Vaginas on Their Favorite Ways to Orgasm
There’s some aspirational creativity in here, y’all.
Ryan Segedi. Prop styling by JoJo Li.
Gigi Engle is a feminist writer, certified sex coach, and sex educator. As a sex educator with the Alexander Institute and Pleasure Professional with O.School, she teaches a variety of classes centered around pleasure, sexual health, and confidence. Gigi's work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, ... Read more
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From eating ice cream cones to packing suitcases, people have interesting tricks for getting things done in their own unique ways. Despite what many cookie-cutter movie scenes may tell us, the same is true when it comes to our sex lives. As a certified sex educator and coach , I’ve found that the list of things people with vulvas enjoy during sex is varied and endless. I’ve also learned that many of these same people have pretty unique tried-and-true ways to orgasm.
But I also hear from a lot of people—especially people with vaginas —who have a hard time orgasming with a partner or even alone. That can be frustrating and isolating, and we don't talk about it enough. Part of that stigma and struggle might come from thinking you have to orgasm in one certain way, which is totally not the case. There are lots of different things that might be able to make you orgasm—you just have to find what works for you. So, here we talked to people who really have it figured out to learn the one thing that always makes them come. But, remember, if something works for one person and doesn't work for you, that in no way means you're broken or weird. It just means you're not them. Think of this list as some orgasm inspiration or some new tricks to try. And if none of this works for you, just remember that this is showing you a tiny slice of the ways-to-orgasm pie, and it’s perfectly OK if none of this is your jam. And hey, it's also OK if chasing the elusive orgasm isn't your thing at all. There are plenty of people who find immense pleasure in sex even if they rarely (or never) orgasm.
FYI, people responded in their own words, so the language below might be considered explicit by some (and is probably considered NSFW by most).
“My most surefire way to orgasm is the one it all began with: my original masturbation technique when I was a preteen. I lie face down and grind my knuckles into my vulva, moving my legs like I’m making a snow angel. I love the pressure and involving my thighs and quads before I orgasm. Though I can come in different ways, this one is always the fastest.” —Lola J., 30
“I almost always come if I'm riding my partner on top and they're perched up just a bit to kiss me while I massage my clit against their pelvis. And then if they spank me and grab my ass to spread me open while I'm riding them, I'm done. Every damn time.” —Annie J.*, 25
“When I’m with my partner, I experience my strongest orgasms when I’m in doggy style position and have a wand vibrator on my clitoris or vulva. The vibrations supercharge my orgasms. When I’m flying solo, my go-to scenario includes a vibe on my clit and dildo for penetration. Oh, and I do enjoy adding ethical porn into the mix. I get really turned on when I see someone else authentically experiencing pleasure.” —Alicia S., 39
“When a partner enjoys eating pussy, it is my most favorite thing. They really get in there! I like it when they lick my asshole to my vagina and back, pause right in between, shake their head aggressively, and make some noise, almost like they’re drowning. I feel empowered and dominant during those times.” —Kella M., 29
“When I'm by myself, I usually use one of three techniques. One is just to rub my clitoral hood in counterclockwise circles with my right hand. The other is to do this while putting my left middle and ring fingers inside my vagina, pressing them upward, and keeping them still. (This technique is good if I'm in a rush because that extra hand sends me over the edge quickly!) The last is to put my right middle finger inside my vagina while I rub my clitoral hood back and forth with my thumb. Rarely, I will pull back the hood and touch my clitoris directly and very gently in a sort of up-and-down motion.
I'll usually do this while watching porn of blowjobs, handjobs, or male masturbation. Even though (or maybe because?) I'm all about women's sexual empowerment in real life, the partnered scenes that get me off most easily are those that convey a sense of the man's pleasure being paramount.” —Suzannah W., 28
“I am multi-orgasmic and enjoy getting off in a variety of ways, including having my breasts sucked and using my vibrator. But my absolute deepest orgasms are achieved with repeated long, deep thrusts from a very thick penis in the doggy style position. It rocks every part of me.” — Krys G ., 35
“I fantasize about taking basic encounters with men I meet way, way further. Sometimes, the seed of one of those fantasies will plant itself in my mind when I’m with them, and I can feel myself start to get wet. As soon as I can manage to get some time alone with my Doxy vibrator, I really grind myself on it, thinking about how much I want to get off for the man in question and just make him feel amazing. I use my fingers to squeeze my nipples and think about submitting to him, giving every bit of myself to him—and then I orgasm as much as I can until I’m exhausted.” —Holly K., 30
“My nipples are a huge hot spot for me. I can come just from someone playing with them, so I really enjoy my partner licking and sucking them, but nothing gets me off better than a vibrator on my nipples. My partner will turn my Magic Wand up to full blast and gently touch my nipples with it, then pull away. She’s in control, so I just lie there and allow her to do whatever she wants. I orgasm pretty quickly from this. It’s super hot for both of us.” —Jasmine N.*, 29
“When my partner places a blindfold over my eyes, ties my wrists together, and whispers in my ear every way he’s going to use my body, I can orgasm before he even touches me.” —Sunny R., 52
Quotes have been edited and condensed for clarity. All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. If you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
Gigi Engle is a certified sex coach, educator, and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @GigiEngle.
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By Gigi Engle Published: Feb 23, 2018
This content is imported from Giphy. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from Giphy. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from Giphy. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from Giphy. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.
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"I orgasmed at a Grateful Dead concert."
Orgasms can be pretty hard to come by (pun intended) for many women. So when reports about someone accidentally climaxing during an abs workout or even while peeing start to surface — it can prompt some some major question marks.
But accidental orgasms are totally a thing. And they happen way more than you probably realize. Take it from these nine women who experienced the pleasure shock first hand (or, well, via other miscellaneous objects). Prepare to be amazed.
"One time, I was laying alone in the leaves under a really tall tree while raindrops were hitting my face. I don’t know what came over me but I suddenly felt a super-intense connection with the nature around me and realized I was legit orgasming. It was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me." — Ella, 24
"I was grinding against my boyfriend’s leg in high school and wound up coming all over his leg. I even got his jeans wet." — Grace*, 27
"I’m a 43-year-old mother of three who found out that labor and [vaginal] delivery makes for a very memorable orgasm. It’s called ecstatic birth and it’s a little-known ancient secret in our society." — Marev, 43
"I discovered orgasm while jogging for the first time at the age of 15. Something about rubbing legs together. Then it happened again while doing jumping jacks at a dance class and once it happened while dancing jive at a ballroom dance party!" —Celeste*, 37
"I am really into massages. Long story short, halfway through any massage, I have an orgasm. I try to relax and think about something else, but once that feeling is coming over me it feels like there is no way to stop it." — forgedinhades , Reddit
"[I orgasmed] at a Grateful Dead concert. The combination of the music and vibe and various substances in the air, combined with my dancing and swaying just suddenly did it for me. It was surprising, amazing, and, most importantly, made me realize at a young age that orgasm could happen outside traditional sexual experiences." — Jenn, 47
"I hopped in the shower in preparation for an awesome double-date night. In anticipation of some possible sexy times, I began the process of achieving silky-smooth legs. I finish with the right, after some careful balancing and maneuvering, and begin to move on to the left. I shift around, testing different positions for best access. Finally, after a good two minutes of moving around, I find the prime stance. And it just so happened to be the stance where the water was being launched straight at my crotch. And so the battle began.
"It became a race between my shaving abilities and my orgasm control. Much to the amusement of my girlfriend, I lack willpower when it comes to the second. I get halfway through shaving the lower half of my leg when I know exactly what's about to go down: me. I lost my balance, began to slip, and in my pathetic throws of shower head violation-induced passion, ended up smacking my head into the wall. So now, here I sit, a bag of frozen veggies soothing the lump on my head, and half of a fuzzy leg." — creepycreepercreepin , Reddit
"I discovered the wonderful and beautiful showerhead in my bathroom one day while taking a bath. It was this warm, amazing feeling down below. Then, well, it was fireworks. I felt like I was doing something bad, but I guess I didn’t care because I took a LOT of baths after that." — Mia, 31
"I once had the most powerful orgasm you can possibly imagine in my sleep. I woke up drenched in sweat. I had to jump in the shower. It was insanely intense. I’ll never forget it." — Brea, 27
Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.
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