Greg Gutfeld's Midnight Comedy Debate

Title: 'Greg Gutfeld and the Midnight Debate'

One quiet evening, Greg Gutfeld sat in his dimly lit home office, sipping on a glass of red wine while his cat, Chairman Meow, lounged on the keyboard of his laptop. Suddenly, the TV flickered to life on its own, displaying a shadowy figure in a suit.

'Greg Gutfeld,' the figure boomed in an exaggerated dramatic voice, 'you claim to be the king of late-night comedy, but are you truly the wittiest mind in the game?'

Greg raised an eyebrow. 'Well, I don’t like to brag, but my Emmy is currently being used as a paperweight for my grocery lists.'

The screen split, revealing four other shadowy figures—clearly parodies of his late-night competitors. One had a perpetually smug grin, another kept fake laughing at his own jokes, and the third was just a guy in a dinosaur costume (no one knew why).

'We challenge you to a battle of wits!' they declared in unison.

Greg sighed, took another sip of wine, and said, 'Fine. But if I win, you all have to admit that Gutfeld! is the only show where the audience isn’t drugged with free studio coffee.'

The battle began. The smug figure tried to out-monologue him on politics. Greg countered with, 'Your takes are so predictable, I bet your autocorrect finishes your tweets for you.'

The fake-laughing host attempted a rehearsed joke about current events. Greg fired back, 'Wow, that was almost as fresh as the lettuce in Hillary’s emails.'

The dinosaur just roared. Greg shrugged. 'Still more coherent than most CNN panels.'

Defeated, the shadowy figures vanished, leaving only static. Chairman Meow yawned and finally got off the keyboard.

Greg leaned back, satisfied. 'Another victory for common sense… and laziness.' He took one last sip of wine as the credits rolled on his imaginary showdown.

The End.

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