Granny Swingers
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Granny Swingers
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For this installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually , about the reality of women's sex lives, we spoke with Vera (a pseudonym), a married woman who unexpectedly got into swinging during a tenth-anniversary cruise.
Last spring my husband and I were looking for an adults-only vacation to celebrate our tenth anniversary. I came across a "clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise." The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon. We assumed "lifestyle" meant BDSM. It was only after we'd booked the trip that we realized it meant swingers. We figured we could still go, even though we didn't plan to participate.
Leading up to the cruise, though, we got to know some of the other couples online and began to change our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women and evolved into "Let's just go for it and enjoy all this cruise has to offer."
We really didn't know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. We kept our swimsuits on. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn't wearing.
The first evening there was a toga/gods/goddesses party. My husband dressed as a Roman gladiator and I made a toga out of a sheer purple fabric. We danced with a couple we'd chatted with online, who were in white togas. We didn't get naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. My husband and I are "full swap," which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their rules were stricter than ours.. They do not kiss or have penetrative sex with others.
After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman's hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.
At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things.
After a little while, I started giving my husband head while the other couple had sex. He'd had a lot to drink and to his dismay wasn't getting hard. We tried a couple times, but it wasn't going to happen. We played a little while the other couple finished up, and then we all went to the hot tubs.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things. Throughout the week, we had two more play sessions with other couples, including a six-way group session with the same couple from the first night.
There has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with a couple is the bigger factor. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play only as a couple, there has to be a four-way match in terms of attraction.
One day we were talking to a couple and the woman stripped down to nothing but a smile and just kept on chatting. This was very awkward for us, but we tried not to let it show. Ten minutes later, her husband stripped down too. He suggested that we do the same, but we declined. He asked us about making a playdate, and I told him that I didn't think we had the four-way match we needed for us to be comfortable. For the rest of the week she was cordial when we'd run into them, but he wouldn't even say hello to us. I felt bad for possibly leading him on. Unfortunately, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Before the trip, I thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we've met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that's a bonus.
Now we play with others about once a month. Unfortunately, there is not a single lifestyle club in the entire state where we live. We play only as a couple and only together in the same room. We like to be within reach so we can play and talk to each other at the same time. It's about group play, not just swapping partners.
Condoms are a must. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is a man I want to play with, my hubby can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he's not comfortable with the guy or isn't interested in playing with his wife. We rarely play at our house, but if we do it is only with a couple we know really well, and never in our bed-that is only for us.
We talk to several couples we met on the cruise on a weekly basis. One we've become really good friends with, and we get together often with our kids. We do the same things other families do but sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we lock the door and get naked. Sometimes we start with a dinner date and drinks, or just hang out with the kids until they're all asleep. We might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones.
We haven't had a successful session yet with another couple where we both had penetrative sex. My husband overthinks it and can't maintain an erection. We have talked to several other men in the lifestyle and they all said that it is very common in the beginning, especially if you've been exclusively with your partner for a long time.
Neither of us have any romantic feelings for our play partners at all, but we do see them as friends. There are definitely people we are attracted to, both mentally and physically, but romance and love are just for us.
Other than the couple that we said no to on the cruise, no one has ever made us uncomfortable. We have been asked to do things that we have rules against. For example, there is a couple who generally play separately, but we play only as a couple. We've made this clear to them. We still talk to them and joke around; we just know that we won't be play partners and that's okay.
Swinging has helped our sex life, because after a night of playing with others we always come back and talk about the experience and have really hot sex with each other during the conversation. I don't know if we will stay in the lifestyle forever, but we are definitely having fun for now.
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Madi Brooks lives with her husband in the US, but as she explains in her TikTok videos, if she’s not in the mood, she’s quite happy for her mum to sleep with him.
This is because both Madi, her mum and her husband are swingers, meaning they are in open relationships, swapping sexual partners at swinging parties and events.
Speaking in a video, she says: “Me and my mom are both swingers and it’s great, you know why? Because when I’m not in the mood I can just let my husband have her.
“I let my husband have her a couple of times a week.”
But it isn’t just her mum that Madi shares her husband with, admitting that her sister sometimes ‘plays’ with her husband.
She says: “You wanna know how I keep my man happy? I let him play with my little sister.”
Her videos have since gone viral receiving up to seven million views each, with many left baffled by the family’s unusual dynamic.
Commenting, one said: “That’s enough TikTok for one year, I’m out!”
“How did that conversation ever initiate?” asked another, while a third wrote, “I don’t know how anybody could share but it’s your life.”
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At this Michigan campground, nudity is just a way of life
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John Carlisle
| Detroit Free Press
Watch Video: Nudists discuss the freedom of life at resort in southern Michigan
A woman who calls herself Lexi sings Karaoke during an evening party at a resident's camper at Cherry Lane Nudist Resort in North Adams, Michigan … Show more on Friday June 10, 2016. Show less
View Gallery: Cherry Lane Nudist Resort
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NORTH ADAMS – The elderly newcomer wanted to make friends, so he took off his pants and waved hello.
Gloria Wright was going about her morning, talking with her neighbors outside their trailers, when this gray-haired visitor drove inside the campground, stepped out of his truck and stood in the hot sunshine before them wearing nothing but a red T-shirt and flip-flops. And everyone just yawned.
This is what sometimes passes for an icebreaker at the Cherry Lane Nudist Resort in North Adams, secluded among farms on the state’s south side, where adults can wander naked and free, like overgrown babes in the woods. The resort is like a typical RV campground where people can swim, barbecue and hang out. Only difference is, everyone’s naked most of the time.
“It’s just a wonderful place,” said Wright, 63, a retired education consultant from Lima, Ohio. She first came here in 2002 with a now ex-husband who wanted freedom from a life of Pentecostal shackles. He left, she stayed, and she now lives at the resort half the year in a trailer with an expansive deck that overlooks a shaded valley in the woods.
“We just have all groups of people, all the way from truck drivers to lawyers … a lot of nurses and teachers, and everybody finds their own little niche and has a really nice time,” said Wright, who was wearing a light summer dress. Nudity isn’t required anywhere here except the swimming pool. But like the bold, geriatric visitor who dropped his pants as soon as he arrived, people who are drawn here don’t usually need encouragement to get naked in front of others.
“It’s a sense of freedom that you normally don’t get. I mean, if you were meant to be naked you’d have been born that way,” said the Rev. Dennis Bevis, Cherry Lane’s 66-year-old longtime owner and dispenser of wry slogans. “And so it’s going back to nature, basically.”
On top of his managerial duties, Bevis also is an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church. "As a holy man I cannot only provide you with a place to sin, but also absolve you of said sins at the end of the weekend if you so desire," he reassures people on the resort's website.
Many members of Cherry Lane say being naked in public is just innocent fun, a way to move past self-consciousness while also enjoying the sensation of the warm sunshine and the cool breeze on their bare skin.
“It’s free and open here,” said 83-year-old Floyd Hoover, who’s been a member of the resort for a quarter-century. “You run around without any clothes on. You’ve got a beautiful pool, you can lay out and be yourself like nature intended. Kind of like a Garden of Eden thing.”
Cherry Lane started back in the freewheeling late ‘60s, when nudist resorts were springing up all over the country.
It was founded by Bevis’ parents, who’d tried nudism and liked it, but grew tired of the resort they’d been attending in mid-Michigan. Too uptight, they thought. So the family converted a small farm they owned in the little village of North Adams into their own public nudist camp.
Back then the resort was barely more than a few tents and trailers. Fifty years later, it’s become an 80-acre community with high-end campers, a clubhouse, a performance stage, a swimming pool, utilities, amenities and security. It’s one of seven nudist resorts left operating in Michigan, set in conservative Hillsdale County, of all places. Membership costs up to $1,800 a year.
The crowd here skews distinctly older. “We’re starting to get a younger group now, but there’s a lot of people between 50 and 75 that’s from that Baby Boomer commune generation,” Wright said. “But we’re starting to get a younger, maybe 40 to 50-ish group in here. And you have the occasional 25-year-old girl who comes in with some old, rich man who wants to show her off.”
There’s lots to do here, from naked volleyball tournaments to nude painting classes to Saturday night dances in a clubhouse — usually with a theme, like ‘70s night. There are a dozen or so minibars that residents set up in front of their campers, and on weekend summer nights there often are bar crawls from one camper to another for bouts of naked drinking.
They’ve also got pudding wrestling. Blind golf-cart races. And the annual "Shave-a-Thon," when people take razors to each other’s most tender parts in broad daylight by the pool, memorialized in a graphic photo display in the clubhouse.
There are rules galore here: Visitors have to be buzzed in at the gate and must register with the office. No children are allowed at any time. Cameras are prohibited. Drugs are forbidden. “And ‘no’ always means no,” Wright said.
Most people here on a given day are dues-paying members who leave their campers here year-round. Though, since nudism requires good weather, the resort is closed to all but the die-hards from October to April every year.
But it’s open in the summer to visitors, who can hang out during the daytime and sample the nudist life. It’s a way to attract new members. It's also a way to draw creeps. Residents call them “pay per views” who often come to leer. Some try to sneak in past the front gate. Everyone watches out for them. They’ve earned the scrutiny over the years.
“You wouldn’t believe the people that come in here,” Wright said. “They automatically believe that everybody’s naked all the time, everybody’s screwing everybody all the time. I mean, those are the kind of questions you get all the time.”
Wright remembers sitting outside having coffee and donuts one morning with her 83-year-old neighbor when a lone, male visitor walked over and asked them to expose themselves. “And he’s like, ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,’” Wright said. And he did just that. The women were uncharmed by the move.
“People that are vanilla about this automatically think just because you’re a nudist that you must go along with everything else,” said Lisa Klingler, 52, of Windsor. She and her husband Joe, 65, have a camper parked here permanently, and spend an entire month here every summer. To them, nudism is a social activity. They like to throw naked dinner parties for their neighbors.
For them, public nudity is simply liberating. Especially, she said, for women.
“Because we sit there every day of our lives, we have to put our masks on, we gotta put our makeup on, we gotta put our uniform on or our scrubs on,” she said, seated topless on a stool at their camper bar, known as Lisa and Joe’s Bar and Grill. Her naked husband was nearby, building an outdoor covered kitchen next to their camper as she spoke. It was her birthday present.
“There’s no fashion show here,” she said. “We come in all shapes and sizes. My favorite line is, ‘If it don’t droop, sag, drag or jiggle it’s not all real.’ And you become real. You just become real with it.”
And yet, when you get a bunch of naked people together, things are going to happen.
“I don’t care what nudist camp you go to, be it traditional or whatever, there are swingers there,” Bevis said.
It’s not obvious, though. There’s no public sex allowed he
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