Granny Sleeping

Granny Sleeping
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Dear Annie: I am very close to my 12-year-old grandson. His family life is not good, and since his parents live nearby, the boy is at my house more often than not.
The problem is, he started sleeping with me when he was a baby and still does it. I have addressed this issue several times and told him he's too old to crawl into bed with Grammie. But he cries and pleads with me, saying how much he loves me, and that he wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise. I always give in, because deep down, I'm happy to have him with me.
My husband sleeps in another room due to health issues. He definitely thinks the boy should be sleeping in his own room, and we've had several arguments over this issue. This is such a stress on me every night. Please give me some advice. — Grammie
Dear Grammie: Your home is a safe haven for your grandson, but when it comes to the sleeping arrangements, it is selfish to put your needs above his. You know he should be sleeping in his own bed, but your passive encouragement allows him to continue the current setup. Yes, he will be temporarily unhappy if you stop, but a grandmother (or parent) who truly cares about the boy's welfare would be willing to tolerate his negative reaction for the greater benefit of his emotional independence. He is old enough to understand why you think this is best.
Please talk to the boy's pediatrician about transitioning him to his own bed. It will take time, and there will undoubtedly be some backsliding, but we urge you to persist until he can sleep on his own. You won't regret it.
Dear Annie: My 13-year-old son has autism and anxiety issues, severe expressive and receptive language delays, and profound sensory issues. Bright lights, loud sounds and large crowds can overwhelm him. Many things that we take for granted, such as getting in an elevator or going to the grocery store, took years for him to accomplish. And it truly took a village of dedicated family, friends, teachers and therapists, along with sheer luck that he has grown and developed to this point.
He loves life and wants to be involved, have friends and participate. He is simply a joy.
Recently, my family traveled to visit my sister. My son still has anxiety about flying, and the airlines allow us to pre-board. The problem was the other travelers who made snide remarks and gave us nasty looks. I'd like to make a plea to the public: Please do not judge others. My son may look totally "normal" and healthy on the outside, but inside, the daily struggles he encounters can be overwhelming. It takes just as much energy to be nice as it does to be mean-spirited. You have no way of knowing what the person next to you is going through, and one small gesture of kindness can make a difference. — Any Mom
Dear Mom: Well said. We wish people would train themselves to think generous thoughts before making assumptions that lead to being unkind. Most of us do not mean to be cruel and would be appalled to realize we have been.
Dear Annie: I agree with your advice to "Losing My Religion," whose wife was always late for church, that he should go on his own. But I don't think he should save her a seat. Knowing there is a place saved for her will only enable her to continue her inconsiderate behavior. She should pay the consequences of her tardiness. — L.
Dear L.: We think having to get to church on her own is punishment enough. There's no point in creating a reason to gossip about their marriage.
Dear Readers: Today is Administrative Professionals Day. If you have assistants who make your job easier, please let them know how much they are appreciated.
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You are here: Home → News → 2017 07 30 → Article 564392

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General News of Sunday, 30 July 2017
The 23-year-old says he finds it extremely difficult to desist from the act
The shocking account of how a 23-year-old who has been in an amorous sexual relationship with his 52-year-old grandmother for the past 5 years has left residents of New Juaben Municipality of the Eastern Region spellbound.

Sampson Lartey [not real name] who developed the habit of masturbating after his colleagues introduced him to the act, revealed that he was at one point in time caught in the act by his grandmother. He claims his grandmother used that information to blackmail him into having sex with her.

Subsequently, he began sleeping with his grandmother. He was 18 at the time.

“I was eighteen (18) years when it all started. I lived with my grandmother when I was fourteen (14). My parents were not in the country by then, so I spent a lot of years with my grandmother. She took care of me just like her son, and gave me the best of education.
It was vacation, I was inside my room masturbating. The pleasure in the act made me forget that I had not locked the door. Half through the process, my grandmother who wanted to send me on an errand suddenly opened the door. There I was, masturbating. She had caught me in the act. I felt very ashamed and dirty. She closed the door gently without saying a word.
Days after the incident, the cordial relationship that existed between my grandmother and myself froze. I panicked anytime my eyeballs met with hers. I had my nerves loosened. What have I done to myself? I quizzed over and over again.
I gathered courage and went to my grandmother; I apologized to her for the mess I have created. She told me right in the face that, what I have done is a great offense and she finds it very difficult to forgive me. My heart was bleeding after she made these pronouncements. I was sobbing. She could sense I was frustrated and had regretted ever doing that," he narrated.

He continued, "She drew me closer to herself and asked me to calm down. She assured not to tell anyone about what happened and made me promise her it is not going to happen again. I felt very excited. At least I can feel at ease at home," he said.

Describing how his first sexual act with his grandmother happened, Lartey said he succumbed to lust after walking in on his 'naked' grandmother on his way back home from an errand.

"My grandmother sent me on an errand one Saturday afternoon and asked me to bring the item into her room. I knocked at her door and she ordered me in. When I entered, what I saw was scary. I saw the nakedness of my grandmother. She asked me to come closer to her since I was stunned beside the door. It took a long pause but I eventually went closer. I had a feeling I knew what was going to happen, but curiosity took me there.
Even though I knew it was erroneous for me to do that, I proceeded anyway. I felt very confused and frustrated but that did not stop me from making love to my grandmother after one act led to the other. And from there we’ve had sex regularly for the past five years’’. He lamented.

Lartey says he regrets the act with his grandmother saying the situation has cost him his relationship with his girlfriend.

"Though my girlfriend is not aware of my sex escapades with my grandmother but in a way, it has affected the healthy relationship I used to have with my girlfriend. As a result, my girlfriend has decided to call it quits since I do not give her the necessary attention, care and love anymore".

He added that despite feeling guilty about the act which has also led to a decline in his academic performance, he finds it extremely difficult to desist from it.

"I really want to stop this bad behaviour but am really finding it difficult and it has even again affected my education. My grades are getting worse as the day goes by and all what I think about is my grandmother but nothing else. I feel very guilty for everything I have been doing with my grandmother. I pray no one especially the youth, enters a predicament like this because it is very disgusting and can haunt you for the rest of your life”.

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