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by Dan Savage on February 22nd, 2011 at 1:56 PM
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I am 50 and a lesbian. I have had a pretty active sex life for the last 30 years, including a couple of long-term relationships. For the last three years, I’ve been with a woman I love very much. We have amazing sexual chemistry—by far the best I have experienced.
For the last two years, I have noticed that my clitoris is getting bigger. Not trans-man-takes-testosterone big, but substantially bigger than it has ever been. I thought it was due to a big increase in sexual excitement, but it soon became clear that the enlargement was a permanent thing. It gets much more erect than it used to and often throbs or twitches after I come.
No one’s complaining. I am enjoying the heightened sexual arousal, and my girlfriend (who is very GGG) is thrilled. But why/how is this happening? Could it get even bigger? And why now? I hit menopause seven years ago, so it’s not some weird hormone surge. Could our sexual connection have caused this all by itself? I don’t really want to ask my gynecologist, though I did notice her checking out my equipment with wide eyes at my last checkup.
“I always like to hear from people who are satisfied with their sex lives and relationships,” says author, sex researcher, vulva puppeteer, and archrival sex-advice columnist Debby Herbenick, and I have to agree. Most of our mail comes from people who are unhappy with their sex lives and/or dissatisfied with their relationships. It’s always nice to hear from folks who are having fun.
What’s not so nice is that we sometimes have to tell happy and satisfied folks that something may be seriously wrong. “I would strongly encourage her to ask her gynecologist about her enlarged clitoris,” says Herbenick. “She should be very clear about the fact that it has increased in size. She should let her know when she first noticed this and roughly how much she thinks it’s increased in size.”
If your gynecologist isn’t comfortable talking with you about your clit—if she just stands there gaping at it— get a new gynecologist . Because your megaclit could be a symptom of something very, very serious.
“You need your doctor to examine your clit and rule out various medical conditions that could cause hormonal problems,” says Herbenick. “Sometimes these are benign health conditions; unfortunately, sometimes they include vulvar cancers, ovarian cancers, and adrenal cancers that, for example, may present with symptoms including an enlarged clitoris.”
Some women believe their clitorises “grew” after menopause, but that’s not usually the case. When estrogen levels drop during menopause, other parts of the vulva—such as the labia—can become flatter or less prominent, which can, in turn, make the clitoris appear bigger. “However, she’s been in menopause for a long time,” says Herbenick, “and it sounds like the clitoral change happened well into menopause.” And amazing sex does not super-size clits: “High levels of arousal usually result in only a temporary swelling of the clitoris,” says Herbenick.
So make another appointment to see your doctor, SNAZ, “and keep asking questions until she’s sure that medical conditions, such as cancers, have been ruled out,” urges Herbenick.
And again, if your gynecologist doesn’t want to discuss it or was too stupid to spot what could be a symptom of common lady-parts cancers (!), time to get a new gynecologist .
My husband is beautiful, awesome, et cetera. Unfortunately, his dick is small. It wasn’t so bad our first few years together; he knows how to work what he’s got. But then I had a baby, and I tore. A few days later, my stitches tore. My six-week checkup turned out to be a poke in the stomach to confirm that my uterus was back in place, and when I asked why I couldn’t get restitched, the doctor told me, “Vaginas are very forgiving.” But a year later, Kegels aren’t helping and both of us are having trouble getting off.
He enjoys anal sex, but it’s not really fulfilling for me. I want to get a vaginoplasty to fit him, but I’ll have to wait till we’ve saved up enough money to pay for it. Please, Dan, tell me how to have hotter sex with a small dick and a shredded kitty.
“Many women who have had multiple or traumatic births—and it sounds like she had a good deal of tearing—have some degree of prolapse,” says sex-advice columnist Debby Herbenick. (A uterine prolapse, says Wikipedia, “occurs when the female pelvic organs fall from their normal position, into or through the vagina.”)
“If she did have prolapse,” says Herbenick, “she may be a candidate for anterior or posterior vaginal-wall repair, which is quite similar to vaginal ”˜rejuvenation’ surgeries, and then insurance may cover the surgery.
“Some people will wildly disagree with me and say that women shouldn’t have surgery ”˜to please their man’, but I don’t see that here,” Herbenick adds. “I see two people who are married and want better sex, and she may have experienced some physical changes that have affected that. And there are ways to fix it.”
Herbenick is the associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and the author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction , a book that I strongly recommend even though Debby once attacked me with a vulva puppet in a room full of people.
I live in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Grange, a local restaurant, has a cocktail called “GGGinger”. Is it possible for a cocktail to be GGG? And how does it feel to have inspired one?
A cocktail can’t be GGG, CCC, but a couple of cocktails—enough to take the edge off inhibitions, not so much to make consent unpossible—can induce GGG. And, I’m saddened to report, the GGGinger’s Gs refer to three of the gin-based cocktail’s ingredients—ginger beer, candied ginger, and ginger syrup—and not to the Savage Love meme “good, giving, and game”. Still, Grange co-owner Brandon Johns is confident that his GGGingers have inspired GGG behaviour all over Ann Arbor.
“It’s been our most popular drink since we opened,” says Johns, “so it must be doing something right. We also do pitchers of them, and when a couple shares one of those—let’s just say that something good is bound to come of that.”
And in other, more successful Savage Love memes”¦
Former U.S. senator and current presidential candidolt Rick Santorum “opened up” to Roll Call last week about his “long-time Google problem”, aka “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex” and always the number one search result when you Google the former senator’s last name.
“It’s one guy,” Santorum told Roll Call . “You know who it is”¦It’s unfortunate that we have someone who obviously has some issues.”
I do have issues—I have lots of issues—but I take particular issue with politicians who compare loving, stable same-sex relationships to “man on dog” sex, as Santorum has done, or who would ban same-sex marriage and adoptions by same-sex couples, as Santorum has promised to do if he gets elected president. But the lowercase santorum campaign wasn’t “one guy”. A lot of people were involved—from the Savage Love reader who first suggested that we redefine your name to all the folks who’ve written about it over the years (thanks, Roll Call !)—just like a lot of people were involved in turning Rick Santorum out of office in 2006, an election he lost by an 18-point santorumslide.
The website that’s still giving Rick Santorum fits hasn’t been updated since 2004. But we’re going to be relaunching the site in the next few weeks. Stay tuned!
Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) at www.straight.com . E-mail: mail@savagelove.net .
Is it possible this woman is actually a gorilla?
Why is the assumption that the gynaecologist is a woman, i.e. the use of the female pronoun. I know, I know, politics and all that, got to get back at the man, and nothing does that like a bit of reverse discrimination. But I believe in equality, and for that it seems to me that we need to start using a neutral pronoun, such as "they" (he/she, s/he etc, are just too cumbersome for speech).
I know I'm super late to this party but re: Unforgiving. You gave birth, things do tend to stretch out a bit under the hood. The same thing happened to me, my son was almost 9lbs and although I only had a second degree tear it is definitely noticeable that my SO's penis doesn't feel as large as it did before. My one friend said that she was actually a little *too* tight and after giving birth, it was the first time she was actually able to have a g-spot orgasm.
-- I know that people say that your vagina will go back to normal, but it really doesn't. There's going to be at least a LITTLE bit of stretch going on. Unfortunately :( have you tried an Adonis sleeve?
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A professor at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine says that almost all of the cases this year have been among men who have sex with men.
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By henjenny | 401 posts, last post a month ago

Dr. Judith Mairs-Levy
answered this
What To Do About A Protruding Clitoris (Clitromegaly)? And Should You Hide It?

So as a little girl I had this little thing sticking out in the front of my vulva, but it grew alot in my teens and my pubic hair was not long and dense enough to cover it so the girls in my gym class called me "weenie woman"
and I was the only girl the boys ignored. I have ever since felt like a freek.
Did finally date a guy in college and we later married. He was patient and agreed to never look or touch my vulva. I told him I had been traumatized
before and needed more time before I could let him see my private area. After we had been married 4-months we had intercourse our first time in a position which he was not able to see my vulva. It was that night that I concieved and three days later he went off into the military service and we lost him to war. I wanted to understand or correct my body before he returned so I went into studying and found my clitoris is actually just enlaged. I've read about a surgery of amputating the clitoris and I don't want that. When the news of my husbands death came I didn't care much,but 9yrs have past and I'm in love again and I wonder if I should just hide it from him too or get some medical changes or treatment done?
And is there some new way to fix my clitoris so it is smaller? Is it bad for me to get sexually aroused because it makes my clitoris get even larger?

Hey, dear! You are perfectly normal! The clitoris can be of all shapes and size. I can understand your concern and i can tell you one thing- do NOT hide from the one you love! He loves you for who you are! Would you prefer to have it surgically removed or reduced and lose all sensitivity?Don't be embarrassed by getting aroused- i have a big clitoris too and i can tell you one thing- most men love big clits! They are easier to find and it is even considered that women with bigger clitorises get more pleasure from sex. My advice is to talk to your sweetheart and tell him about your concerns. It will lift a great burden off your chest, cos it's not easy to live with a secret like this one.

In reply to henjenny on 2008-12-04 - click to read

I think you are lucky. It is the only part of a woman's body that only has one purpose - to give her pleasure. You will find a lucky guy that absolutely loves it so don't worry about it. (I am a guy)

I'm a guy who find big clitori extremely erotic. and in my experience, the larger the clitoris, the more likely that female orgasms during copulation.

such women also have the tightest p***y.

any guy who cannot come to appreciate what your big clit is doing for him is not open minded.

so drop him.

Hopefully the poster intended to say, "When the news of my husband's death came, I didn't care much about having the surgery or not, but 9 yrs have..."

Bisexual female here, so perhaps my opinion is null for the original poster; however, I think a large clit is absolutely beautiful and SEXY. Surely there are men, such as the guy who already commented, who feel the same way. Our society is too critical about "size" anyway. What is normal? Average? And what is average? Mundane? Boring? Who wants to be boring? Love yourself, girl.

I am a foster parent to a 7 year old who has an enlarged clitoris. She complains of it hurting since it rubs in her panties, dries out, and becomes irritated. The pediatrician said she needs to learn to tuck it up in and has recommended applying vaseline when needed. Are there any other tips out there for hygeine and healthcare for her precious gift? I don't want her to be self-conscious or ashamed of being a little different from the rest of us females in the family.

Reading several of these posts about being ashamed of this wonderful gift I must add my opinion.

I see no reason to be ashamed of it at all. Is there such a thing as "clit envy" among girls? We hear about penis envy. If any girls are giving you a hard time about it, how about that possibility?

Personally I would love to have a large clit to make love to (worship?). I can't even find one on my wife. Sometimes I think I can feel a grain of sand under the skin but then I think it's just wishfull thinking. It would be sooo nice if she had a large love button for me to devote my attention to.

For fostermomma I like your "precious gift" attitude, just convey that to her and she should be fine.

I don't know about the vaseline thing though. I'm thinking how that would feel on my sensitive glans. I think it would make it stick to clothing even more. I use hydrocortisone cream on most everything I have that gets irritated. That works well for me.

Thinking about "tucking it up in" under her hood, I think that's akin to me trying to make my foreskin take a position that's not normal for IT. It just ain't gonna stay there. If a guys foreskin isn't long enough to cover his glans, he can't make it do it. In my case mine covers it completely and my attempts to make it stay uncovered so I could experience what it's like to be circumcised, never worked. It just goes back to where it wants to be. So if her hood isn't long enough to cover it I don't see how tucking it up under will do much good. It may cause her a lot of stress trying to keep it that way.

YOU should be really proud of what you have. I, as a man, wished I came across someone who had a big one.
I just love em.
So PE PROUD of what you have.

I've been married almost 25 years and we are still both in good shape and sexually active. My wife began lifting weights about 3 years ago, and something about the hormones have changed her body make up. My wife's clit has grown to about the size of my pinky. I've always been very attracted to her, but this is a huge turn on. I love it when she gets aroused and it gets erect. So, don't worry about it and feel self conscious. He may have the exact opposite reaction to your large clit than you think.

Well I'm 16 nd my clit kinda big not that huge . I hate it /: icing feel normal nd makes me think after having sex he'll laugh or say something bad :/ I'm to young to have sex I know I'm still a virgin (: but my clit is the only thing stoping me from having sex with my bf

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