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The Night Grandpa Wanted Me in His Bedroom
by Maria Serenade –
September 27, 2016
by Masithoh Azzahro Lutfiasari –
June 10, 2020
by Hera Diani –
September 21, 2015
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©2022 Magdalene all right reserved.
After an incident at her grandfather's home, she could never see him the same way again.
“I just want some company, that’s all!” How do I begin? I’ve been considering (and reconsidering) telling this story. Perhaps you are wondering, “What for? Shouldn’t the past stay in the past?” To some people, I wish it were that easy. Years after that, it still haunts me. When Grandma passed away, Grandpa was very depressed. In fact, he had been depressed when she was still ailing. Since he was living alone in his big house and also unwell, we needed more than a housemaid. A family member (or two, at least) had to stay there and look after him. Wanting to be a good girl, I said okay when my mother asked me and my siblings to stay there and look after Grandpa. At least we took turns in two: sometimes it would be my siblings or me with either one of them there. That ‘Fateful’ Night At first, everything was alright. I had been in that house since I was little. Grandpa (and Grandma) had always been kind and loving to all of their grandkids, no exception. It was rather sad to see that none of my cousins had stepped forward to take turns with us. I started noticing something strange when the nurse who had looked after Grandpa seemed afraid. The first night after Grandma’s funeral, I was in Grandpa’s room with her while Grandpa was asleep. When I excused myself to the bathroom, she suddenly grabbed my arm and pleaded, “Mbak, saya jangan ditinggal sendiri!” (Sis, don’t leave me alone!) Even when I assured her I would not be long, she refused to let go. I had to wait until she calmed down and then promised her again. Despite keeping my word that night, I sensed her oddity.
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Open Discussions About Sexual Abuse and Incest.
Forum rules
You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum . If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread . Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums. Thank you for your cooperation. The Mod Team
Although I am now 27, when I was about 6 (maybe younger) my Grandpa started to sexually abuse me and groom me, favouring me over my older brother. My Dad worked away a lot and therefore to help my mum out me and my brother would often stay with my grandparents and even go on holiday with them. I remember my grandpa would always give me money secretly and always said, 'don't tell your mum or your brother' he would always inappropriately touch me and show himself to me, many times I cant even pin point one. we never saw my 3 cousins when we were growing up, and I now know why - he used to abuse my female cousin too, but she told her mum and even my parents (shes 6 years older than me) to stop anything from happening to me - her mum removed her from his presence - mine did not. I on many occasions told my mum that I felt uncomfortable with my grandpa and that he always touches me and puts his fingers in my knickers. she said she had a word with my nannie, but nothing changed. and he was so slobberly, always made me kiss him, I always went for the cheek, but he ALWAYS forced me onto his lips. one time when I was about 7 I remember we had gone round for dinner and my parents were getting into the car, and I was saying goodbye to grandpa - he said he wanted to French kiss me - to which I didn't know what that was, so ran to mum and told her and she shoved me into the car. when we went on holiday with my grandparents (me and my brother) I was always homesick and quite often my mum would actually come and get me and leave my brother there. one time my nannie called mum, she wouldn't come - she said you cant always come home - your on holiday you should stay - well I was so homesick I was vomiting everywhere and couldn't stop - I believe this is all the reason why I now have a severe phobia of sick and people being sick. he was still 'funny' with me even to the day he died, when I was 23. I was always favoured (well all girls) he wasn't interested in the boys of the family - he had no time for my brother (who is 2 years older than me) I feel very alone as my dad isn't interested (it was his dad) and my mum just makes me feel guilty by saying that she did have a few 'words' but because I didn't say anything to her again she thought it had stopped. therefore the abuse carried on.
Dont feel guilty, be sure if you had said to your mother more and more never she would have done something. If she tries to unload the responsibility on you do you believe that? Maybe better than feel worsen thinking on mother's behaviour. Is more understandable your father if he cant think his father as pedophile of her daughter but I see a lot of "I dont want know" in this story. Children understand that and know when is useful to insist to the parents and when they want all to be hidden. Like in the car, saying nothing your mother give you the biggest signal she could. And, after all, yes you said that one time, oh God one time is damned enough, yes one time your daughter said that and you waited she would say the second?!? And this one time you reported one incident, not even, you recounted repeated events. And no more excuses, you know he was rotten because of the break with the cousins family. I hate these camouflage persons. Maybe they had economic problems and needed their help..
------- Sorry for my English, Im not a native.
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you had to go through that as a child. It was not your fault. I am sorry your family is not very supportive. I have been through a somewhat similar experience. I am 29 years old now. I was groomed and sexually abused by my grandpa from a very young age also. Also my father's father and my family didn't care what was happening. Are you meeting with a therapist or anything like that? I have found therapy to be very helpful. If you ever want to talk , I'm here.
Hello, firstly, thank you so much for taking the time to reply to the topic. I feel very grateful for that. And also how similar our topic is, I find that quite interesting, I am seeing a counsellor now every Thursday, which is going ok, but just makes me sad because it increases my feeling of being let down so terribly by my mum in particular. I cant bear it went my husband catches his stubble on my neck and softly touching me if he gives me a hug etc, it makes me flinch and cringe and I feel so sorry for him because its not reflected onto him its because its not him I have the feelings towards. Its such a horrible thing to go through and I do think that people cant understand unless they have been through it themselves? Helen x
Hi Hells, I was abused too by the father of my father. A story very similar to yours. Since I was 5, that's as early as I remember, until I was 10. I also felt uncomfortable and told my mother, who said: "You must have misunderstood him". It wasn't that she didn't care, just that it was impossible for her to imagine something like that happening in her own house. My anger, was not because of her not noticing the abuse, though there were signs. My anger was because of what she did after. She didn't do much when I told her first time. She only did it the second time, I was 14, and I told
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