Government Declares War on War Declarations: �Enough Is Enough�

In this 500-word satire, Congress has officially voted to go to war against the act of going to war. The new policy, dubbed �Operation Cease-Fire on Paperwork,� aims to eliminate what lawmakers call �declaration fatigue.� Military historian Lt. Col. Grant Irony (Ret.) explains that wars have become more about bureaucratic buildup than bullets. �Half our battles are fought with acronyms,� he sighs. The fictional law prohibits terms like �Operation Thunder Verdict� unless they�re followed by immediate results. A Pentagon official says future conflicts must now be labeled �Incidents of Strong Disagreement.� Citizens are reportedly confused by the proposal to arm diplomats with Nerf guns and deploy sarcasm brigades. One senator suggested drone drops of passive-aggressive sticky notes as a deterrent strategy. The satire draws parallels between congressional infighting and a middle school debate club, minus the maturity. The article ends with a leaked memo revealing plans for �War on Euphemisms,� scheduled to launch once they agree on what to call it. HOW TO WRITE COMEDY: https://comedywriter.info/government-declares-war-on-war-declarations-enough-is-enough/ AND http://comedywriter.info/