Good Foreplay Ideas

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Good Foreplay Ideas
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Lindsay Geller
Lindsay Geller is the Love & Life Editor at Women’s Health, specializing in entertainment news and culture coverage.


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Unless you’re a member of The Fast and Furious squad, you probably don’t go from zero to sixty the second you hop in the car. So why do you think you can go from holding hands to full-on thrusting when you’re in the bedroom? Nah, you need some foreplay tips to ease your way into the main event.
Though you might view foreplay as a seriously delicious appetizer (I’m talking, mozzarella sticks–level good, y’all), some foreplay ideas can be the whole d*mn meal. I mean it: You don't have to make foreplay solely a prelude to intercourse, says Lori Buckley, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist in Pasadena, California.
"Foreplay leads us to a deeper sense of who we are and what we prefer sexually."
In fact, “there are many roads to intimacy, and foreplay is one,” says Janet Brito, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist at the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health in Honolulu. “Foreplay leads us to a deeper sense of who we are and what we prefer sexually.”
The more you get in touch with each other's sexual selves (both figuratively and literally), the more comfortable you'll be sharing your desires, fantasies, all that good stuff.
Excited already? Yeah, thought so. But before you fire up that engine, here are the best foreplay tips and ideas to try ASAP.
If your go-to foreplay routine involves a little kissing and touching—then goes right into wham, bam, thank you, ma’am—it’s time to mix it up. "Foreplay should definitely begin before you get into the bedroom to have sex," says Buckley. She suggests getting low-key frisky with your S.O. when you're out to dinner (footsie, haiiii ), watching TV in the living room, and anywhere else you’re feeling the ~vibe~.
Both Brito and Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist, sexuality counselor specializing in sex therapy, and author of She Comes First , agree. He adds that simply "having fun and doing things that are exciting to each other" can be a form of foreplay.
How can something kinda meh lead to oh yeahhh ? Well, it’s all thanks to (brace yourself for a scientific name) the excitation-transfer theory, which means that when you do a stimulating activity in one domain, the hyped-up feeling you get can then be transferred into another, explains Kerner.
So even if you get jazzed flirting over veggies at the farmer’s market together (hey, not judging), that’s a form of foreplay.
After all, who doesn’t want breakfast with a side of arousal? Foreplay can start in the morning and can go All. Day. Long. through sexy little suggestions here and there, says Buckley. Maybe you hop in the shower with them before work (save the shower sex for the main event) or text them a sexy little something during their lunch break (more on that in a sec).
Whatever you’re into, "you can have lots of moments of foreplay leading up to sex that happens later," explains Kerner. In fact, just knowing you're not going to get it on until later that night or even the next day can ramp up the anticipation and make foreplay feel even hotter.
Buckley and Kerner both agree that sexting can be a hot AF form of foreplay, especially when it includes teasing the person on the other side of the screen. Let your partner know what you're going to do to them when you see them, or hint at what you'd like them to do to you, suggests Buckley.
Try something like: "It was so great the last time we _____. I loved it when you touched me in this way, or when you sucked on that." You can head down the sweet and sensual route or go straight-up pornographic. If it feels right in that moment, you can't go wrong. "Anything that creates anticipation and arousal is great," Kerner says.
Sure, dirty talk is hot, but a picture leaves a lot less to the imagination. Assuming your partner is someone you know and trust (important detail!), why not send a little something to start setting the mood before they even get home?
This will come in handy if you plan on using the previous tip, but even if you have no intention of sending a sexy selfie, lingerie can put you in the mood and increase your own anticipation for what's to come later.
Full disclosure: This tip's as basic as wearing Uggs and a North Face while sipping a PSL from Starbucks (don't @ me, you know it's true), but it's still pretty darn important. When you're flirting or sexting with your partner, let them know exactly what you find attractive about them, advises Kerner. Even if you think they already know because of the whole wanting-to-have-sex-with-them thing, it never hurts to remind them how much their abs, ass, or even ambition turns you on.
“Remember that the language of sex is a lot different than the language you commonly use in your relationship vocabulary,” Kerner says. “You can be going through your day and communicating back and forth in very respectful, egalitarian ways, but you may also jump into some language that's very erotic or sexual.”
Basically, whenever the opportunity to seduce your partner presents itself, seize it. And when it doesn't...create it.
Crank your next date night up a notch—or ten—by teasing your partner when you’re cuddled up at a cozy restaurant or low-lit bar. "Teasing is really important because when we can't have what it is that we want, that creates desire," says Buckley.
She and Brito suggest whispering in your partner's ear about what you’re looking forward to that night, nibbling on their neck, or discreetly touching them wherever they'll take notice. When you know you can't have sex, it becomes all the more arousing, Buckley explains.
The last thing you want to think about when getting frisky is your errand list or a work project. Simply put, not being in the right headspace can be enough to kill your lady boner.
That’s why Kerner always suggests adding "psychological excitement" into your foreplay routine, rather than relying solely on physical touch and stimulation.
But WTF qualifies as psychological excitement? Turns out, tons of sexy stuff: listening to an erotic podcast , watching porn together (btw, there’s audible porn now, too), reading erotica aloud to each other, and even playing sex games .
Check out these six fiery hot sex games you need to try, like, yesterday:
When it's time to move into the bedroom, don't forget that lube is basically your BFF. Use it to prime your body for ~everything.~
Let's be real, many couples think foreplay is a fancy word for fingering and oral sex. If you’re one of them, no shade, buuut it might be time to add a little pit stop on your way to Pleasureville.
By that, I mean that you and your partner should spend more time away from your vagina. Kerner encourages couples to let the arousal simmer by keeping it strictly above the waist—kissing, touching, nibbling on necks, and dirty talking before heading straight for the goods.
That’s because "a lot of women complain that their partners move too quickly into direct clitoral stimulation, and sometimes that can tickle or even hurt if they're not that aroused," he says. Keeping things PG-13 for a bit allows you and your partner to check in with each other and make sure your "arousal arcs," as Kerner calls them, are synchronized and calibrated to each other.
(Also: Who doesn't love making out?!)
"Foreplay is all about the process of experiencing pleasure," says Brito. "It's the journey, and the journey is everything."
Feel free to take your time exploring each other's erogenous zones, both Brito and Kerner advise. You can even make a game of it, says Kerner, by seeing how far you can go through outercourse (a.k.a. what you've likely called "everything but").
"There's something really erotic and exciting about extending the sexual experience."
Newsflash, peeps: Not only can you start foreplay anytime and anywhere, but you technically never have to stop—even when it leads to intercourse. "There's something really erotic and exciting about extending the sexual experience," Buckley says.
To keep the party going, she suggests having sex for a little while, but stopping before either person orgasms. Then flip it and reverse it Missy Elliot–style back to foreplay.
Ever heard of edging ? Just in case you haven't, it's when you bring yourself juuust to the edge of orgasm (get it?) before backing off. You do it as many times as you can stand—and then, when those, ahem, fireworks do go off, the climax is that much more intense.
"It's important not to pressure each other to have a specific type of experience or to impose your definition of foreplay on someone else," Brito says. Take things as they come, and remember that if something doesn't work this time around, you can always try it again.
The more you and your partner add foreplay into your everyday life, the easier it'll be to share your wildest sexual fantasies , says Brito. Just make sure to speak up before getting busy.
"If you're curious about exploring a specific type of foreplay"—perhaps you're thinking in kinky terms—"it's best to talk with your partner and obtain consent before trying something new," she says.
Okay, but how? Well, if you're an open Kama Sutra, you likely won't have a problem telling your partner what you want.
If you're in a new relationship or just naturally shy, though, you could try broaching a fantasy by telling your partner you had a sexy dream or fantasy about them, suggests Kerner. (That's also something you can sext, btw.) This way, you make your desires known, without putting yourself or your partner on the spot.
If stress is standing between you and your sexy mood, consider giving each other a massage first. Not only is it a great way to explore each other's bodies, but it also reduces stress hormones (because it's a freakin' massage!), helping you forget about your lingering to-dos.
Use a vibrator on your nipples and around your vagina to build anticipation and increase blood flow to the area before ~the main event.~ Kerner recommends playing with one (or two, or three) to get those creative—and, of course, other—juices flowing.
Shower sex might not be for everyone (so slippery!), but shower foreplay is another story. Lather each other up with soap and water, then move into the bedroom when you're ready to undo all that cleanliness.
This could mean something rated X, if that's your thang, or R. This has a couple benefits: (1) setting a sexy mood (obvs) and (2) helping you de-stress after a busy day. Foreplay should help you turn off your stressors and turn on your—well, just straight-up turn you on.
Further along in your relationship? Kerner suggests sharing your fantasies, and then incorporating them, or some role-play, into your foreplay sesh. And no, you don't need to be a professional actor. You could simply recreate something you're more familiar with: the day you met, your wedding night...
At this point, you're probably convinced that foreplay is the best thing since whipped cream to happen to your sex life, right? (Good, I did my job!) So make sure to take the time to enjoy it—from the second you wake up to your last satisfied sigh before sleep.
The more you can do that, the more you will have the tools you need to hone your foreplay skills and seduce your partner, says Buckley. Couples who master the art of foreplay, she adds, "will inevitably have sex more often."
And while fooling around on the reg doesn't automatically mean you'll live happily ever after, "when foreplay is done with intention, it's likely to enhance a romantic relationship tenfold," says Brito.
All the more reason to start your engines...grab that phone, perhaps?

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Home » Optional » Foreplay ideas to drive her wild in the bedroom
If you think foreplay is a golf term, you really need to read this article because it’s going to change your entire game in the bedroom…
Foreplay is the foundation of good sex and yet, there are too many guys who overlook it. While intercourse might be your sole focus, it’s usually secondary for your lady. And if you’re skipping foreplay, we can pretty much guarantee that only one of you is happy in the bedroom.
It’s time to step up your foreplay sex game. Let’s explore what counts as foreplay, why it’s important, and foreplay ideas to make sure you both are smiling.
In short, foreplay is everything leading up to actual intercourse. And we aren’t just talking about oral sex and finger play. Foreplay can start hours or even days before any of that takes place.
Foreplay can be as subtle as a sexual hint like a note or as obvious as describing what you want to do. Foreplay helps to set the stage for what is to come.
It can add excitement and variety. In fact, it can be the only thing you do. Foreplay done right doesn’t necessarily require intercourse.
You might be a guy who likes to get right to the point during sex, but for the vast majority of women, intercourse alone doesn’t do it for them. Shocking, right?
Sure, women enjoy sex, but to bring a woman to orgasm, you need to do some extracurricular work.
Not only does foreplay ensure that your lady is getting what she wants and deserves, but it’ll make the experience of intercourse far better. She’ll be more into it because she’s better prepared both physically and mentally.
More important than the immediate gratification, foreplay allows you to become closer with your partner. Foreplay helps to build emotional intimacy and trust, which promotes the health of the overall relationship.
For example, proper foreplay can help a woman to become properly lubricated. Proper lubrication is important because sex could be painful without it. But getting her wet isn’t the same as you getting turned on.
Think of your penis like a light switch and her vagina as a coffee maker – stay with us for this comparison.
Like a light switch, a simple flick and the light comes on. When making coffee, you need to turn on the coffee pot, let it heat up and build up to get the finished product.
Diving right into sex is boring. Unless it’s a quickie where you both are running low on time but need to have sex now, there’s no need to rush.
Mental foreplay can involve describing what you’ll do in graphic detail or teasing her by acting like you’re about to do something but pulling back at the last moment. More ideas of mental foreplay are listed below.
Much like the coffee pot comparison from above, it’s all about the build up to the action, and mental or emotional foreplay is one of the best ways to do just that.
Here are some emotional foreplays tips that you can try and see which work best for you.
No one talks on the phone anymore, but here’s a good reason to start: phone sex. This is when you make the conversation all about your plans for when you both get home. This is essentially foreplay fuel as you’re describing what is going to happen.
She can’t see you, which is good because it lets her imagination run wild with ideas , thoughts, and desires. She is playing out the scene that will take place and you’re narrating the scene.
If phone sex makes you feel uncomfortable (for now) or you are surrounded by co-workers or friends, the next best option is to sext one another. Writers, this is where you can shine.
Sexting can start as subtle but work its way up to a graphic depiction of what you want to do to her and what you want her to do to you. It’s everything you’d describe during phone sex except you won’t cause a scene.
Careful with this one though; accidentally sending a sext to a friend is a bit embarrassing…
If you’ve been doing the basics of foreplay for a while, the next level for you could be roleplaying. This is where you both assume a role different than who you actually are.
The standard is acting like two strangers meeting in a bar for the first time and seeing where things progress from there as you get to “know each other.”
You can evolve roleplaying to include costumes such as a police officer and criminal roleplay scene. Or the porn classic: teacher and student (Remember: She doesn’t have to necessarily be the student for this one…)
It’s important to remember to make this fun. Don’t take it too seriously. It can be strange adopting these new personas so have a good time with it. The awkwardness quickly wears off and you’ll find that you can easily adopt your new role.
This is an excellent way to set the mood AND get conversation going about what you both like in the bedroom.
Some couples find it difficult to start a dialogue about what they prefer when it comes to foreplay and sex. Watching a porn together will present opportunities to ask questions (e.g., Do you like that?) and present new ideas (e.g., What if we try that?).
We suggest starting off with something pretty straightforward: one girl, one guy. Eventually work your way up to different types of porn such as threesomes, based on the comfort level of you and your girl.
You’ve set the mood, you’ve intrigued her mentally, but let’s take it one step further. Here are some physical foreplay techniques that will help to continue building her up.
Light some candles to set a scene, but then put the candle wax to good use by gently spilling it on an area of the body that isn’t too sensitive.
The idea here is to experiment with varying temperatures. The candle wax is hot and it sends a sudden but welcome shock through her body. It’s not painful, but it’s not a light feather touch either. It’s right in the middle.
Another temperature foreplay trick you can use is on the other spectrum with ice. Take an ice cube, start at her neck and slowly draw the ice down her chest, around her nipples, and to her stomach.
Discuss this beforehand but consider bringing bedpost ties or handcuffs into the mix for this one. This allows you to tease her with temperature and it adds the element of submissiveness.
Guys, listen up: in order for a massage to be effective, it can’t immediately start with you massaging her butt then jumping into sex…
We’re all guilty of it , but in order for this to work, have a bit of self-contro
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