Good Foreplay
🔞 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Good Foreplay
Why Marvel's Karen Gillan Embraces Her Anxiety
Your New Must-Try: Sautéed Dandelion Toast
The Only Marathon Training Plan You'll Ever Need
Your June Horoscope: Communication Clarity
40 Fall Date Ideas Perfect For Cuffing Season
How To Be The Best Sexter They’ve Ever Had
43 Sexting Emojis To Add To Your Repertoire RN
This content is imported from {embed-name}. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
47 Sex Positions Everyone Should Try At Least Once
13 Underrated Erogenous Zones To Explore ASAP
Whoa, Here's What Lesbian Sex Dreams REALLY Mean
Lindsay Geller
Lindsay Geller is the Love & Life Editor at Women’s Health, specializing in entertainment news and culture coverage.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
The 30 Best Erotic Novels You Need To Read 🥵
The Best Kegel Balls For A Strong AF Vagina
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Your July 2022 Sex Horoscope: Shake Things Up
18 Vibrating Panties For Orgasms On-The-Go
These Lingerie Brands Are Stylish AND Comfy
The 18 Best Remote-Control Vibrators Of 2022
15 Best Lesbian Sex Toys You'll Love
29 Best Sex Games For Couples To Try Tonight
Women's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only feature products we believe in.
Why trust us?
Unless you’re a member of The Fast and Furious squad, you probably don’t go from zero to sixty the second you hop in the car. So why do you think you can go from holding hands to full-on thrusting when you’re in the bedroom? Nah, you need some foreplay tips to ease your way into the main event.
Though you might view foreplay as a seriously delicious appetizer (I’m talking, mozzarella sticks–level good, y’all), some foreplay ideas can be the whole d*mn meal. I mean it: You don't have to make foreplay solely a prelude to intercourse, says Lori Buckley, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist in Pasadena, California.
"Foreplay leads us to a deeper sense of who we are and what we prefer sexually."
In fact, “there are many roads to intimacy, and foreplay is one,” says Janet Brito, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist at the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health in Honolulu. “Foreplay leads us to a deeper sense of who we are and what we prefer sexually.”
The more you get in touch with each other's sexual selves (both figuratively and literally), the more comfortable you'll be sharing your desires, fantasies, all that good stuff.
Excited already? Yeah, thought so. But before you fire up that engine, here are the best foreplay tips and ideas to try ASAP.
If your go-to foreplay routine involves a little kissing and touching—then goes right into wham, bam, thank you, ma’am—it’s time to mix it up. "Foreplay should definitely begin before you get into the bedroom to have sex," says Buckley. She suggests getting low-key frisky with your S.O. when you're out to dinner (footsie, haiiii ), watching TV in the living room, and anywhere else you’re feeling the ~vibe~.
Both Brito and Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist, sexuality counselor specializing in sex therapy, and author of She Comes First , agree. He adds that simply "having fun and doing things that are exciting to each other" can be a form of foreplay.
How can something kinda meh lead to oh yeahhh ? Well, it’s all thanks to (brace yourself for a scientific name) the excitation-transfer theory, which means that when you do a stimulating activity in one domain, the hyped-up feeling you get can then be transferred into another, explains Kerner.
So even if you get jazzed flirting over veggies at the farmer’s market together (hey, not judging), that’s a form of foreplay.
After all, who doesn’t want breakfast with a side of arousal? Foreplay can start in the morning and can go All. Day. Long. through sexy little suggestions here and there, says Buckley. Maybe you hop in the shower with them before work (save the shower sex for the main event) or text them a sexy little something during their lunch break (more on that in a sec).
Whatever you’re into, "you can have lots of moments of foreplay leading up to sex that happens later," explains Kerner. In fact, just knowing you're not going to get it on until later that night or even the next day can ramp up the anticipation and make foreplay feel even hotter.
Buckley and Kerner both agree that sexting can be a hot AF form of foreplay, especially when it includes teasing the person on the other side of the screen. Let your partner know what you're going to do to them when you see them, or hint at what you'd like them to do to you, suggests Buckley.
Try something like: "It was so great the last time we _____. I loved it when you touched me in this way, or when you sucked on that." You can head down the sweet and sensual route or go straight-up pornographic. If it feels right in that moment, you can't go wrong. "Anything that creates anticipation and arousal is great," Kerner says.
Sure, dirty talk is hot, but a picture leaves a lot less to the imagination. Assuming your partner is someone you know and trust (important detail!), why not send a little something to start setting the mood before they even get home?
This will come in handy if you plan on using the previous tip, but even if you have no intention of sending a sexy selfie, lingerie can put you in the mood and increase your own anticipation for what's to come later.
Full disclosure: This tip's as basic as wearing Uggs and a North Face while sipping a PSL from Starbucks (don't @ me, you know it's true), but it's still pretty darn important. When you're flirting or sexting with your partner, let them know exactly what you find attractive about them, advises Kerner. Even if you think they already know because of the whole wanting-to-have-sex-with-them thing, it never hurts to remind them how much their abs, ass, or even ambition turns you on.
“Remember that the language of sex is a lot different than the language you commonly use in your relationship vocabulary,” Kerner says. “You can be going through your day and communicating back and forth in very respectful, egalitarian ways, but you may also jump into some language that's very erotic or sexual.”
Basically, whenever the opportunity to seduce your partner presents itself, seize it. And when it doesn't...create it.
Crank your next date night up a notch—or ten—by teasing your partner when you’re cuddled up at a cozy restaurant or low-lit bar. "Teasing is really important because when we can't have what it is that we want, that creates desire," says Buckley.
She and Brito suggest whispering in your partner's ear about what you’re looking forward to that night, nibbling on their neck, or discreetly touching them wherever they'll take notice. When you know you can't have sex, it becomes all the more arousing, Buckley explains.
The last thing you want to think about when getting frisky is your errand list or a work project. Simply put, not being in the right headspace can be enough to kill your lady boner.
That’s why Kerner always suggests adding "psychological excitement" into your foreplay routine, rather than relying solely on physical touch and stimulation.
But WTF qualifies as psychological excitement? Turns out, tons of sexy stuff: listening to an erotic podcast , watching porn together (btw, there’s audible porn now, too), reading erotica aloud to each other, and even playing sex games .
Check out these six fiery hot sex games you need to try, like, yesterday:
When it's time to move into the bedroom, don't forget that lube is basically your BFF. Use it to prime your body for ~everything.~
Let's be real, many couples think foreplay is a fancy word for fingering and oral sex. If you’re one of them, no shade, buuut it might be time to add a little pit stop on your way to Pleasureville.
By that, I mean that you and your partner should spend more time away from your vagina. Kerner encourages couples to let the arousal simmer by keeping it strictly above the waist—kissing, touching, nibbling on necks, and dirty talking before heading straight for the goods.
That’s because "a lot of women complain that their partners move too quickly into direct clitoral stimulation, and sometimes that can tickle or even hurt if they're not that aroused," he says. Keeping things PG-13 for a bit allows you and your partner to check in with each other and make sure your "arousal arcs," as Kerner calls them, are synchronized and calibrated to each other.
(Also: Who doesn't love making out?!)
"Foreplay is all about the process of experiencing pleasure," says Brito. "It's the journey, and the journey is everything."
Feel free to take your time exploring each other's erogenous zones, both Brito and Kerner advise. You can even make a game of it, says Kerner, by seeing how far you can go through outercourse (a.k.a. what you've likely called "everything but").
"There's something really erotic and exciting about extending the sexual experience."
Newsflash, peeps: Not only can you start foreplay anytime and anywhere, but you technically never have to stop—even when it leads to intercourse. "There's something really erotic and exciting about extending the sexual experience," Buckley says.
To keep the party going, she suggests having sex for a little while, but stopping before either person orgasms. Then flip it and reverse it Missy Elliot–style back to foreplay.
Ever heard of edging ? Just in case you haven't, it's when you bring yourself juuust to the edge of orgasm (get it?) before backing off. You do it as many times as you can stand—and then, when those, ahem, fireworks do go off, the climax is that much more intense.
"It's important not to pressure each other to have a specific type of experience or to impose your definition of foreplay on someone else," Brito says. Take things as they come, and remember that if something doesn't work this time around, you can always try it again.
The more you and your partner add foreplay into your everyday life, the easier it'll be to share your wildest sexual fantasies , says Brito. Just make sure to speak up before getting busy.
"If you're curious about exploring a specific type of foreplay"—perhaps you're thinking in kinky terms—"it's best to talk with your partner and obtain consent before trying something new," she says.
Okay, but how? Well, if you're an open Kama Sutra, you likely won't have a problem telling your partner what you want.
If you're in a new relationship or just naturally shy, though, you could try broaching a fantasy by telling your partner you had a sexy dream or fantasy about them, suggests Kerner. (That's also something you can sext, btw.) This way, you make your desires known, without putting yourself or your partner on the spot.
If stress is standing between you and your sexy mood, consider giving each other a massage first. Not only is it a great way to explore each other's bodies, but it also reduces stress hormones (because it's a freakin' massage!), helping you forget about your lingering to-dos.
Use a vibrator on your nipples and around your vagina to build anticipation and increase blood flow to the area before ~the main event.~ Kerner recommends playing with one (or two, or three) to get those creative—and, of course, other—juices flowing.
Shower sex might not be for everyone (so slippery!), but shower foreplay is another story. Lather each other up with soap and water, then move into the bedroom when you're ready to undo all that cleanliness.
This could mean something rated X, if that's your thang, or R. This has a couple benefits: (1) setting a sexy mood (obvs) and (2) helping you de-stress after a busy day. Foreplay should help you turn off your stressors and turn on your—well, just straight-up turn you on.
Further along in your relationship? Kerner suggests sharing your fantasies, and then incorporating them, or some role-play, into your foreplay sesh. And no, you don't need to be a professional actor. You could simply recreate something you're more familiar with: the day you met, your wedding night...
At this point, you're probably convinced that foreplay is the best thing since whipped cream to happen to your sex life, right? (Good, I did my job!) So make sure to take the time to enjoy it—from the second you wake up to your last satisfied sigh before sleep.
The more you can do that, the more you will have the tools you need to hone your foreplay skills and seduce your partner, says Buckley. Couples who master the art of foreplay, she adds, "will inevitably have sex more often."
And while fooling around on the reg doesn't automatically mean you'll live happily ever after, "when foreplay is done with intention, it's likely to enhance a romantic relationship tenfold," says Brito.
All the more reason to start your engines...grab that phone, perhaps?
8 oral sex tactics that experts swear by
How to initiate sex in a long-term relationship
How to have a shared orgasm with your partner
Positions to make female orgasm easier during sex
8 ways to boost your libido naturally
Paisley Gilmour
Sex & Relationships Editor
Paisley is sex & relationships editor at Cosmopolitan UK, and covers everything from sex toys, how to masturbate and sex positions, to all things LGBTQ.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Positions to make female orgasm easier during sex
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
11 best audio porn websites and apps
Anal sex: is it safe and what are the health risks
Can mutual masturbation transform your sex life?
Female ejaculation: can you learn to squirt?
©2022 Hearst UK is the trading name of the National Magazine Company Ltd, 30 Panton Street, Leicester Square, London, SW1Y 4AJ. Registered in England. All Rights Reserved.
About Netdoctor
Disclaimer
Terms & Conditions
Privacy Notice
Cookies Policy
Contact
Complaints
Sitemap
Advertising
Cookies Choices
We earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article.
Foreplay is important to a lot of people. But what is it? Find out how loveplay helps men and women have better sex
Foreplay is one thing you'll hear many women and people with vulvas say they want more of in their sex lives . Now we’re speaking more openly about sex in general, it’s important to understand why foreplay is so key to a pleasurable sexual experience, for people of all genders and sexualities. It’s also time to reconsider the term, which is often described as old-fashioned, non-inclusive and steeped in sexism as it centres male pleasure.
Hand jobs, blow jobs, fingering, kissing, mutual masturbation and cunnilingus for example, can all be considered foreplay. Traditionally, foreplay has been defined as any sex act that isn’t penetrative, penis-in-vagina sex.
Like the term sexual intercourse (which is another term that has been historically used to describe penetrative penis-in-vagina sex), it’s wildly outdated. Why? Implying manual and oral sex don’t count as ‘real sex’ is harmful to LGBTQ+ people whose sex lives do not include penis-in-vagina sex.
It also positions penetrative sex as the ‘end goal’ for heterosexual couples, and anything that comes before that is merely ‘foreplay’ leading up the grand finale. This is a problem as we know most women and people with vulvas do not reach orgasm through penetration alone. In fact, the majority need clitoral stimulation in order to climax. It makes no sense for penetrative sex to be centred in this way – and it’s part of the reason why the orgasm gap (the stark difference in the number of men and penis-having people who orgasm during sex compared to women and people with vulvas) exists.
By centring penis-in-vagina and penetrative sex as the end goal, it also gives us a sexual script to follow. And what could be less erotic and fun than having the same, routine sex every time?
Other terms have been floated by sex educators to replace foreplay – such as outercourse – but it doesn’t seem there is one term that experts agree on. So, for ease, I’ll use the term foreplay throughout this article in order to offer tips and advice for getting your oral and manual sex skills up to scratch.
Psychosexual therapist and sex expert at LELO , Kate Moyle, says if you’re after better foreplay with a partner, it’s all about clear communication. ‘If couples want to change this aspect of their sex lives, then they should first be open to the fact that sex, like everything else in our lives changes,’ she explains.
Anticipation is a natural aphrodisiac, and foreplay plays an important role in building desire and arousal.
‘Anticipation is a natural aphrodisiac, and foreplay plays an important role in building desire and arousal. If couples are struggling with foreplay, they can mix it up or set new rules to try. For those that often rush to sex, setting an alarm clock for 20 minutes and setting the rule of no genital touching until the timer goes off is a really good way of exploring each other's bodies more creatively, by focusing on the parts of the body not normally associated with sex.’
As we know, women and people with vulvas orgasm less than men and people with penises during sex. We know part of the reason for this to be because penetrative sex has been centred throughout history, sex education, and even in pop culture. So, if we want to close this orgasm gap , we need to realise just how pleasurable other forms of sex can be.
If we want to close this orgasm gap, we need to realise just how pleasurable other forms of sex can be.
It’s also important to build up to penetrative sex, if that is still your end goal. Vaginas need time to self-lubricate (or you can add lube if you have difficulty getting wet), before penetration. An un-lubricated vagina is more at risk of tearing, injury and soreness. Plus, being wetter just feels more pleasurable. For those having anal sex, it’s important to remember the anus does not naturally self-lubricate like the vagina – so lube will be necessary for both enjoyment and comfort.
If you’re having sex with a partner(s), longer foreplay can build intimacy. ‘Engaging in great foreplay triggers both physiological and physical responses that make sexual activity enjoyable and create emotional intimacy that can make you and your partner feel more connected,’ says Johanna Rief, sex expert at at Womanizer and We-Vibe .
If you want to have more enjoyable sex with a partner, Rief recommends mutual masturbation as a way to show your partner how you like to be touched. ‘It’s a great way to help you and your partner become infinitely better at understanding how to satisfy each other,’ she says. ‘There is no one better qualified than you to show your lover how you like to be touched. Even if you’ve been together a long time, things like contraception, medication, age and pregnancy can alter how your body responds to different stimulation, so try demonstrating how you masturbate.’
There is no one better qualified than you to show your lover how you like to be touched.
This can be daunting, so if you’re a little shy or feel awkward, Johanna suggests announcing aloud what you’re
Do Kegel Balls Work
Forced Anal Stretching Stories
Lesbian Lactation Stories