Going Solo

Going Solo

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Preview — Going Solo
by Eric Klinenberg

A revelatory examination of the most significant demographic shift since the Baby Boom - the sharp increase in the number of people who live alone - that offers surprising insights on the benefits of this epochal change. In 1950, only 22 percent of American adults were single. Today, more than 50 percent of American adults are single, and 31 million, roughly one out of eve
A revelatory examination of the most significant demographic shift since the Baby Boom - the sharp increase in the number of people who live alone - that offers surprising insights on the benefits of this epochal change. In 1950, only 22 percent of American adults were single. Today, more than 50 percent of American adults are single, and 31 million, roughly one out of every seven adults, live alone. People who live alone make up 28 percent of all U.S. households, which makes them more common than any other domestic unit, including the nuclear family. In Going Solo , renowned sociologist and author Eric Klinenberg proves that these numbers are more than just a passing trend. They are, in fact, evidence of the biggest demographic shift since the Baby Boom: we are learning to go solo, and crafting new ways of living in the process. Klinenberg explores the dramatic rise of solo living, and examines the seismic impact it’s having on our culture, business, and politics. Though conventional wisdom tells us that living by oneself leads to loneliness and isolation, Klinenberg shows that most solo dwellers are deeply engaged in social and civic life. In fact, compared with their married counterparts, they are more likely to eat out and exercise, go to art and music classes, attend public events and lectures, and volunteer. There’s even evidence that people who live alone enjoy better mental health than unmarried people who live with others and have more environmentally sustainable lifestyles than families, since they favor urban apartments over large suburban homes. Drawing on over three hundred in-depth interviews with men and women of all ages and every class, Klinenberg reaches a startling conclusion: in a world of ubiquitous media and hyperconnectivity, this way of life can help us discover ourselves and appreciate the pleasure of good company. With eye-opening statistics, original data, and vivid portraits of people who go solo, Klinenberg upends conventional wisdom to deliver the definitive take on how the rise of living alone is transforming the American experience. Going Solo is a powerful and necessary assessment of an unprecedented social change.
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Published
February 2nd 2012
by Penguin Press

(first published January 1st 2012)

1594203229
(ISBN13: 9781594203220 )

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Start your review of Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone

Shelves:
2012 ,
cultural-studies ,
self-discovery

So it's like this: I'm a member of one of the demographic groups Klinenberg focused on while writing Going Solo . I'm a professional, middle class woman in my late twenties with my own apartment, a circle of close friends who are basically family, and the ability to enjoy my own company. I value my privacy and my space and have a strong antipathy towards roommates, so since I can afford to do so without too much stress, I choose to live alone. In summary, I'm the bloody target audience for this b
So it's like this: I'm a member of one of the demographic groups Klinenberg focused on while writing Going Solo . I'm a professional, middle class woman in my late twenties with my own apartment, a circle of close friends who are basically family, and the ability to enjoy my own company. I value my privacy and my space and have a strong antipathy towards roommates, so since I can afford to do so without too much stress, I choose to live alone. In summary, I'm the bloody target audience for this book. I want to clear up a thing or two before I go any further, as a couple other reviewers seem to be a bit confused. This is not a book about dating, it is not a book about people who are single in the relationship sense, and it is not a book about sex, promiscuity, or advocating the "breakdown" of marriage and intimate relationships. This is an unbiased study favoring neither the choice to be single or the choice to be in a long-term committed relationship. Klinenberg indicates multiple times that Going Solo focuses on current culture, specifically people who live alone, and that includes both those in committed relationships and those who are single. The distinction is important and one that should be kept in mind while reading. A friend in her mid-forties recommended Going Solo to me, and as someone living alone, the book had instant appeal. Once I picked up a copy, I was impressed. Klinenberg starts out strong and keeps the momentum going for the first two-thirds of the book, and his presentation of solo living for those in their twenties through their fifties is solid, well-informed, and even makes it all sound downright exciting while admitting that it is also occasionally difficult. His argument that solo living actual promotes social interaction and civic involvement is convincing, even without my own experience having told me the same thing. The material is organized loosely by age, youngest to oldest, so the first part resonated most with me. Descriptions of strong social connections, both physical and via technology, acknowledge the rise of networking sights, smart phones, and constant connection, and the suggestion that those going solo are more likely to have an extensive network of friends they rely on for companionship and support are spot on. Expanding my own circle came partly out of necessity: I live alone, and eight months ago had an unexpected and lingering health issue that left me mentally sound and even physically capable but, due to medical restrictions on driving and the occasional recurrence, I spent that time much more dependent on others than I ever wanted. Despite this, I fought to maintain my autonomy by remaining alone in my apartment, and because of distance, I relied on friends more so than family. In one sense I was lucky, as those "friends" who were drama queens, were there because they wanted something, or were not truly invested quickly disappeared, and I was left with those I could depend on and who cared deeply enough to help. (It's the "finding out who your true friends are and then replacing those who aren't" principle. Go discuss it over beers, it's a fun time.) Klinenberg serves up examples much like my own where it's the friends, not the family, who are helping the young soloists through times of trouble and providing all types of support while allowing the person going solo to consider the quality of relationships and surround herself with the most healthy companions. These beginning chapters of Going Solo are an excellent overview of the culture change in the wealthier countries of the world, and as I read through the pages, I became more and more excited. The second third, while not quite as applicable to my age group, continued to offer a rousing picture of those who continue solo throughout their thirties and into middle age. I remained invested throughout this section, as it seemed like it was offering a view into a pleasant future should I choose to continue on my current path. (Whether or not I will is still up for debate and the book did nothing to change that.) And then, unfortunately, there's the last part, which focuses on aging alone and the challenges faced by the elderly and isolated. Unnervingly, Klinenberg's message in the remaining few chapters seems to be, "We're all fucked." Unless we're affluent individuals, we will die poor, alone, and completely cut off from the world with no family (because they're heartless, self absorbed individuals) and no friends (because they're all dead ). It seems the best we can hope for is terrible care in a nursing home that will kill us faster, thus putting us all out of our misery, and Klinenberg offers very little in the way of plausible alternatives. He's clearly dropping the ball here, as the balanced perspective of earlier chapters is suddenly lost in favor of this bleak outlook. Needless to say, this part was more than a little depressing, acting as it did as a kick in the balls to the rest of the book, which had been truthful but quite encouraging up to that point. I really could have done without that bit, so much so that I wish I hadn't read it and it strongly affected the rating I gave. Also? Both the final chapter exploring how society needs to change to accommodate the rise in solo living and the book's conclusion read like an extremely boring term paper that goes on far too long for its own good. Unless you're really, really into dry material, skip that part. (No worries here if you chose to stop at the "Aging Alone" chapter, as you've already put the book back on the shelf and haven't missed out on a damn thing.) A nitpick that another reviewer mentioned that was a pet peeve of my own: what the hell was up with the physical descriptions of each person he interviewed? Lines like that stopped the narrative flow, threw off entire passages, and were completely unnecessary, not to mention they read like bad depictions from fan fiction written by eleven-year-olds. Very bad stylistic decision. Recommended overall, particularly if you're someone living solo (whether by choice or not) or if you're a cultural studies fan. Not recommended for the bitter, the ultra-conservative, or those who use patronizing moral indignation to explain why they're still alone and unmarried (ignoring, of course, the fact that they've grown bitter and are no longer particularly pleasant to be around).
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Shelves:
2012 ,
magazine-article-as-book

I was looking forward to this book enough to buy it, but came away disappointed. To begin with, I did not find it "revelatory," beyond a few statistics early in the text about how prevalent living alone has become in American society, however little it may be reflected in the popular culture. I expected a serious discussion of the policy implications of that fact, but huge swaths of this read like a self-help book, based on interviews usually introduced with text like "Kimberly lives in New York
I was looking forward to this book enough to buy it, but came away disappointed. To begin with, I did not find it "revelatory," beyond a few statistics early in the text about how prevalent living alone has become in American society, however little it may be reflected in the popular culture. I expected a serious discussion of the policy implications of that fact, but huge swaths of this read like a self-help book, based on interviews usually introduced with text like "Kimberly lives in New York City and works in the film industry; her shoulder-length brown hair frames a pale complexion and a sweet but somewhat sinister smile that conveys her confident and mischievous side." Hard-hitting it is not. I am a part of the demographic group that seems to enjoy living alone the most (professional divorced women), but this book raises serious questions about whether living alone is good for other kinds of people, particularly seniors and men (who are less good than women at building and maintaining social networks). The author discusses how people in these groups suffer serious inconveniences and problems from living alone, yet still prefer it to living with family members like adult children. This discussion is depressing and offer few solutions. Towards the end, the author begins to discuss new forms of housing that are designed for single people of various ages, which is interesting but doesn't really go anywhere. There are sort of two books here: an obvious and boring one about how rich young people find it fun to live alone in cities, and a terrifying one about frail old people who live alone (and marriage is no help there, since your spouse may die before you). A book with policy solutions regarding the second theme would be well worth reading. In the meantime, I'll be working on my application for Swedish citizenship.
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Shelves:
social-and-cultural

When Klininberg investigated a wave of heat-related deaths in Chicago, he discovered the majority of them had some sad facts in common: most were men, living alone, without social networks or families to check in on them. One might expect, then, that his book on the exponential increase in single-person households would be dark and depressing. Not a bit of it: while he doesn't shy away from the trend's darker potentials, like the above-mentioned isolated elderly men with no one to comfort them i
When Klininberg investigated a wave of heat-related deaths in Chicago, he discovered the majority of them had some sad facts in common: most were men, living alone, without social networks or families to check in on them. One might expect, then, that his book on the exponential increase in single-person households would be dark and depressing. Not a bit of it: while he doesn't shy away from the trend's darker potentials, like the above-mentioned isolated elderly men with no one to comfort them in their last illnesses, he also spends a great deal of space discussing the upsides and enormous positives that have brought us to where we are. Like: single-person households are more common in wealthier and developed societies, and in societies transitioning to an industrialized or developed model, single-person households quickly increase and approach western levels--so the most basic explanation for this change is that we can afford it. Maybe people will choose to live alone whenever they have the resources to do so. Like: single-person households are often more engaged, socially and civically, than the vaunted nuclear family, where mom and dad are far too busy and stressed by raising children to turn their attention outwards to the wider society. Like: in a world of hyper-connected individuals, through social networking and career, many of us choose to live alone to give us some/any solitude and a space to recharge. Like: while we like to blame western individualism and our disintegrating collective instincts for thsi trend here in North America, in fact the most collective developed nations in the world (aka Scandinavia) also have the highest rate of single-person households, near or over 60%. As a member of the grey spaces between the traditional nuclear family and the single-person household he writes about (I am a single mom with primary custody of my daughter, so for a few days each week I live here by myself--and the rest of the time I run myself ragged being both mom and dad), I can see what he speaks of in my own life. When my daughter is with me, I indeed have no or little time for friends or activism, and also don't need to grapple with the loneliness that can make single-household living difficult for those without extensive social networks. When she's not here, I get to enjoy that space and solitude, recharge and connect with friends and work on causes dear to me, but I also feel like I accidentally forgot my left arm somewhere. The book did give me much hope that this rise in single-person households may hold great potential for our societies, more than enough to offset the downsides typically discussed--and that, like it or not, it's here to stay, so maybe we should stop building cities and suburbs primarily for nuclear families. Good book. Worth a read whether or not you live alone.
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I live alone. There, I said it. I'm not used to saying it that way because... Actually I don't know why. Maybe I'm afraid of the stigma attached to the word "alone." It sounds so forlorn (pitifully sad and abandoned, or lonely, if you google it), and I'm not. I'm not sad or lonely, nor have I been abandoned. I love my life. Maybe it's in my genes? My mother and father divorced in 1967, and except for a few months right after the divorce (long story) my mom lived alone until she got Alzheimer's i
I live alone. There, I said it. I'm not used to saying it that way because... Actually I don't know why. Maybe I'm afraid of the stigma attached to the word "alone." It sounds so forlorn (pitifully sad and abandoned, or lonely, if you google it), and I'm not. I'm not sad or lonely, nor have I been abandoned. I love my life. Maybe it's in my genes? My mother and father divorced in 1967, and except for a few months right after the divorce (long story) my mom lived alone until she got Alzheimer's in 2000, and needed constant care. She never struck me as sad or lonely. On the contrary, she went on to 2 more very successful and very different careers after that and loved her new life! I am so glad that I read this book, if for no other reason than to find out that I'm not alone , pun intended. Apparently not only are women no longer stigmatized for living alone, this is a worldwide trend! Mr. Klinenberg reviews some staggering statistics on the subject. He also covers the problems that "singletons" still have with those who choose to continue to believe that women (and men) should be married, or at the very least in a long-term relationship. In other words, coupled. The book is divided into the different trends and statistics according to age groups and economic groups. There are also personal stories, my favorite being that of Ava, who like me, is a deliberate singleton. (Forgive me in advance if I got the name wrong; I took the book back to the library and can't check it. The chapter title is "Aging Alone.") Many, many seniors especially do not want to live with their children, and I am one of them, much to the consternation of my sons, who are constantly bugging me about moving in with them, or "finding a husband." My daughter gets it, why can't they? I have friends, I spend time with them, I enjoy myself. The difference is that I have no problem finding the alone time that I always seem to crave, and that rejuvenates me. These feelings are shared by other singletons according to Mr. Klinenberg. That will be a good thing to know the next time I have to
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