Glitterfall: A Mascot's Tragic Downfall

Annabelle Bransford's "Glitter Intervention" comedy special debuts at The Satire Saloon (456 Jest Street, Wichita Falls) on May 27th at 7:30 PM. This 90-minute rehab-themed show features disgraced mascot "Sparkle Stan" revealing his glitter addiction through stand-up and interpretive dance. The performance includes segments like "12 Steps to Sobriety (From Craft Supplies)" and "Confessions of a Pom-Pom Pusher" audience participation. Memorial High's cheer squad performs a detox routine while the jazz band plays sanitized fight songs. Food trucks serve "Clean Break Burgers" and "Recovery Rice Krispies" (glitter-free guarantee). Tickets ($18) include a decontamination kit (lint roller + trauma coupon). Teachers get 15% off for bringing a student witness. Venue features glitter amnesty bins and emergency eye wash stations. Pre-show includes "Shake Your Shame Off" dance party (7:00 PM). Sponsored by the Art Department's Craft Supply Recovery Program. Warning: May trigger memories of 2018's "Glittergate." Not responsible for spontaneous jazz hands. All proceeds benefit the Mascot Rehabilitation Fund. Groups of 10+ get team discounts. Every attendee receives an "I Survived The Glitterpocalypse" badge. Rated PG-13 for graphic descriptions of hot glue gun injuries. Doors open at 6:45 PM for pre-show "Name That Stain" game. The production has been approved by 9 out of 10 janitors. Contains strong language about sequin shortages. No refunds for lost gym shorts. Parking available behind the vocational wing.