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A young woman tells the story of the first time she slept with another woman.
[Narrator] I was 18 and moved to New York for college.
In high school I was an overachiever.
did over 600 hours of volunteer work,
and in my senior year, I took eight classes
But college was going to be different.
I knew what I wanted and what I wanted was sex.
The on-ampus housing staff must've had a cruel sense
of humor because we had the same name.
But the similarities stopped there.
Her half of the closet was bright pink dresses
and my half was shades of gray skinny jeans.
She was so chipper and earnest and nice,
so I continually found reasons to blow her off.
I got what my doctor would later call
the worst case of mono I've ever seen
from a grungey guy I hooked up with
after pretending to like death metal.
So now I was bedridden and miserable.
I ended up spending a lot of time with my roommate.
Lindsay took care of me, bringing me protein shakes
with a straw when I was too sick to eat.
And suddenly we were great friends.
Once I recovered from my four month stint with mono,
I was wearing a dress and had some sort of
cleavage situation going on, trying so hard to fit into
my idea of what it meant to go out, hook up, flirt.
It all felt like such a costume and it was.
I think Lindsay even got me to dance,
but it was the most fun I'd had since I started college.
We went back to our dorm room that night
We hugged and the hug just never seemed to end.
Literally, we were just standing there in the middle of our
tiny room, embracing each other for maybe 20 minutes
longer, neither of us saying anything.
I asked her if she wanted to stay in my bed that night
so we could keep hugging, you know, as friends do.
So we're in this tiny twin bed and we're spooning,
I was surprisingly the little spoon,
I could feel her nod yes into the back of my neck.
Even more time goes by and I still haven't fallen asleep
and the sun is coming up and I ask her again, are you awake?
I ask her, do you want me to kiss you?
We couldn't stop, even after both of our mouths were dry
and the whole time I couldn't stop thinking,
what the fuck is happening right now?
This went on for months, slowly escalating
not only physically but emotionally,
hooking up in secret and still totally convinced
that we were both straight, we were just best friends,
this is totally just what best friends did.
Long story short, we're still roommates and best friends,
Since that first dorm room we've lived in
nine apartments together, upgrading from a twin dorm bed
to a full sized IKEA about a year ago.
When I started college, I felt so sure of what I wanted.
I wanted to have casual sex with guys, but here I am,
five years later, I don't wear dresses,
I'm always the big spoon, and I'm a lesbian.
Though not everything changed, I'm still a nerd
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