Girls Who Love Masturbation
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Girls Who Love Masturbation
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Because you probably didn't learn this in school.
Fun fact: Masturbation can be awesome! In fact, a lot of teens do it, and enjoying it doesn't make you weird. So, why masturbate? Teen sex health outlet Sex Etc said it best. "Masturbation is a good way to learn about your body and your sexual feelings without the complications that can come when you have sex or do sexual things with someone else." You can feel good without having to worry about risks like unwanted pregnancy or contracting an STD.
Which is why, if you're wondering how it is that you get aroused or what arousal feels like, masturbation is a great way to dip your toe into learning about pleasure and your body. And I'm talking about more than just your genitals. Your bod has various erogenous zones, which are areas of your body that are more sensitive than others. Think: your ears, neck, inner thighs, nipples... the list goes on.
Beyond learning about your body, masturbating will also help you get insight into what settings get you in the mood. You might like to listen to sensual music and dim the lights before you try masturbating. Maybe there's a time of day that you feel particularly turned on. Perhaps there's literotica fan fiction that makes you feel all the things. Don't be afraid to experiment and see what works for you. There is no right or wrong way to masturbate!
So, if your sex ed class skipped over the masturbation spiel, don't worry, we talked to Ellen Kate Friedrichs , a health and sexuality educator in Brooklyn, NY to find out everything you need to know.
1. Masturbation refers to touching your own body for sexual pleasure. Like your vulva, clitoris, labia, vagina, breasts, or anus.
2. It involves more than just your vagina. Your sex ed classes might have glossed over the clitoris, but most people actually experience pleasure through clitoral stimulation, not vaginal penetration.
3. It's totally normal. One 2016 study found that 85.5% of female participants said they masturbated at some point in their lives, with women starting at average at age 13 and 14.
4. Guys do it, too. That same study found that 98.9% of male participants have masturbated, starting around 12 and 13.
5. It doesn't make you a bad/weird/gross person. You're not a freak or a pervert. It's not weird or gross. On the flip side, if you don't masturbate, that doesn't mean you're a prude or there's anything wrong with you. It's a totally normal thing that can help you explore your body and get more in tune with it, but if it isn't for you, NBD.
6. It's a helpful way to learn about your body. No two bodies are the same, so no two people like the exact same rhythms or movements. It'll take some trial and error to figure out exactly what works for you, and it's easier to do this without the pressure of having a partner right in front you. "You can learn about your body before you ever have sex with a partner and then, down the line, you can show a partner what you like," Friedrichs says.
7. You might have an orgasm. When a person is aroused, their muscles tense up. An orgasm is the release of all that tension , plus a rush of an endorphin called serotonin that spills into your blood stream. "These chemicals can cause intensely pleasurable feelings and can make someone feel happy, giddy or sleepy," Friedrichs says. "It can be hard to tell if you have had an orgasm since every body will experience orgasm a bit differently. But if you think of it like a roller coaster ride, with the moment before you descend being the peak of orgasm, it can help."
8. Orgasms don't happen instantly. "Don't give up, even if you think it isn't working," Friedrichs says, estimating that it might take you anywhere between a minute or an hour (or more) to have one.
9. But an orgasm isn't necessary to enjoy the experience. "While orgasms are nice and most people can learn to orgasm, if you like masturbating and aren't orgasming, that's fine too," Friedrichs adds.
10. It's the safest form of sex. Yep, masturbation is a form of sex — solo sex. And since there's no risk whatsoever of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections, you can enjoy it without worrying about your health or safety.
11. You should wash your hands first. Clean hands prevent introducing bacteria into your body. When you're getting intimate, clean hands = the best kind of hands.
12. Make sure to pee when you're done. The most common cause of urinary tract infections (which can make you feel like you need to constantly pee and potentially lead to more serious complications) is when bacteria from the anus accidentally travels into the urethra. You might have heard that you can get a UTI from wiping the wrong way when using the bathroom — back to front, instead of front to back — but they can also occur if you touch your anus before touching your vagina (even if your finger just grazes the area accidentally). Peeing helps flush out any potential bacteria.
13. You can masturbate and still be a virgin. "Most people believe that a virgin is someone who hasn't had sex with another person, not someone who has never had anything in their vagina," Friedrichs explains. So if you insert a finger inside your vagina, but haven't had sex with a partner, you're still a virgin .
14. Masturbating won't make you looser down there. Unless you're doing it so frequently it's interfering with the rest of your life, it's absolutely healthy and fine to enjoy solo sex. You won't suddenly become looser down there and it won't ruin your ability to enjoy being with a partner — those are both myths.
15. If your boyfriend or girlfriend masturbates, it doesn't mean they're not into you. You can be totally satisfied with your relationship and still touch yourself. "Sometimes people worry about this out of insecurity or because they have a misunderstanding about what masturbating is all about," Friedrichs says, noting that a lot of people report masturbating more often when they're happy in their relationships. So if anything, take your partner's actions as a compliment.
16. You can use some toys as well. Sex toys aren't just for having sex. According to a study, 43% of women "sometimes" use a toy when they are masturbating, compared to just 13% of men.
17. It can help you deal with stress. According to Planned Parenthood, having an orgasm releases endorphins, which can make you feel better and help you with your stress.
18. Masturbation can help you with your period cramps. Yup, you read that right. Those same endorphins can be a natural pain killer for your period cramps, says Planned Parenthood.
19. You can do it everyday. While you may be worried about masturbating "too much," it's totally normal to do it once (or even twice) a day. According to Planned Parenthood, as long as it doesn't get in the way of spending time with friends, family, school, activities, etc., you're in the clear.
20. It can help you sleep. Some experts suggest to include masturbation in your nighttime routine, doing it right before you go to sleep. One study shows that having an orgasm increases the production of prolactin in the body, a sleep-inducing hormone.
Hannah Orenstein is the author of several novels, including Meant to Be Mine (out June 7, 2022), Head Over Heels, Love at First Like, and Playing with Matches. She's also the Deputy Editor of Dating at Elite Daily. She lives in Brooklyn.
Yerin Kim is the Assistant Editor for Snapchat Discover at Seventeen, covering beauty, sex & health, lifestyle, and entertainment. Originally from New Jersey but raised in Seoul, she is a proud Syracuse grad who loves fluffy puppies and a good Instagram opp. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram!
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PSA: Everyone’s different, and that’s okay!
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but regular masturbation is not only very fun —it’s also legit healthy. Like a workout for your pleasure centers, masturbation is good for you in all sorts of ways. According to sex educators Marla Renee Stewart and Goody Howard , making yourself cum—and, in turn, getting your blood pumping and your juices flowing—is a cardiovascular dream. Howard says it can even help lower blood pressure. It also releases what Stewart calls “the happy hormones,” like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which contribute to mental stability, clarity, and mood. But perhaps masturbation’s greatest power is the information it can give you about your body and its desires.
“In my personal and professional opinion, the biggest benefit of self-pleasure is achieving a better understanding of what pleasure looks like to you,” Howard says. “Understanding your pleasure scripts makes you a better partner and a better lover. When you understand what pleasure looks like for you , you’re more likely to advocate for it and be able to communicate that to your partners.”
That knowledge, she says, gets you one step closer to closing the “pleasure gap,” or the orgasm disparity that exists between men and women .
So if you get all that and more from one toe-curling solo session between the sheets, why don’t more women report masturbating regularly? One widely cited sexual diversity study from 2015 by Indiana University’s School of Public Health found that less than half of the women surveyed reported having masturbated in the previous month. Part of that, Stewart says, is thanks to the stigma that pervades female sexuality within our very patriarchal culture. Women and those socialized as female are often objectified and stripped of agency, meaning they’re less likely to think of their own pleasure as an active, vital, and accessible part of their lives.
“When we understand ourselves as sexual people, then we will engage in things that are sexual, such as masturbation,” she says.
Stewart recommends three times a week for at least 15 to 30 minutes each session for a minimum amount of self-love time. If that seems like too big an investment, Stewart says carving out that time just for yourself is more worth it than you may realize.
“I believe that taking the time to masturbate is an act of self-care, and the more relaxed you can be about time, the better,” she explains.
As for a maximum? The limit does not exist. At least, not really.
According to Howard, unless your masturbation practice is so all-consuming that it takes over your life and prevents you from tending to “typical adult obligations, relationships, and responsibilities,” there is “no right or wrong time or frequency when it comes to self-pleasure.”
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It is normal for girls and women to masturbate.
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‘Is it normal for girls to masturbate?’
Published: February 28, 2019 7.14pm GMT
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I need to know
Associate professor, University of Technology Sydney
Melissa Kang does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
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I Need to Know is an ongoing series for teens in search of reliable, confidential advice about life’s tricky questions .
Hi, I have a question after reading a published piece for I Need To Know. Masturbating has always seemed to be acceptable for boys, but less commonly discussed among girls.
Is it normal for girls to masturbate and are there any health consequences? I am a girl who accidentally discovered how to masturbate when I was quite young and continued it on and off afterwards, should I be worried about this? Will this affect my future sexual experience?
Hi there, and thanks for bringing up this really important topic. You’ve asked some great questions and I hope the answers will be reassuring! First of all: yes it’s completely normal for girls and women to masturbate.
Masturbation is when a person touches their own genitals for sexual arousal and pleasure, and often leads to orgasm. It can include touching other parts of your body that feel good, such as the nipples. Many people use their fingers and hands, but some might use objects such as sex toys.
Masturbation is something people do to themselves, although “mutual masturbation” refers to people touching each others’ genitals for the same reason.
In a large Australian survey , 42% of women said they had masturbated in the past year (compared to 72% of men). This survey included people aged 16 to 69 years of age, and there is no recent information on this topic in Australia on younger teens.
A study in the US looked only at 14- to 17-year-olds and found by 17 years of age, over 58% of females said they masturbated, compared to 80% of 17-year-old males. So it’s pretty common, and it’s also possible girls and women just don’t like to say they’ve masturbated.
Traditionally, masturbation has been something that is acceptable for boys. It’s only recently we’ve started talking about female masturbation more openly.
It’s useful to know for most females the clitoris is the most sexually sensitive part of the body. The Australian study mentioned above also showed when a man and a woman have sex, women were much more likely to have an orgasm when her genitals were touched directly using hands or through oral sex. This is because of where the clitoris is.
It’s a wishbone-shaped bundle of nerves and blood vessels that will swell up and feel tingly and pleasurable when stimulated. The tip of it pokes out above the hole where wee comes out (the urethra) but it extends up to 10 centimetres behind the sides of the vagina. This is why it can also feel good to have an object (including fingers or a penis) inside the vagina pushing against the arms of the clitoris.
For most of history, the clitoris was not fully understood or appreciated. It was an Australian surgeon – and a woman – who discovered how extensive it was.
There are plenty of health benefits from masturbation. Masturbating and having an orgasm can relieve period pain and stress.
It’s also a great way to explore your body and know what feels good, which will make it easier to communicate to a partner when the time comes. It is also a sexual practice that cannot cause pregnancy or lead to an STI.
You mentioned discovering masturbation when you were quite young. Parents and caretakers report observing even very young children touching their genitals because it feels good. Although the body needs to go through puberty before a person can experience mature sexual arousal, it’s clear children also experience pleasurable sensations.
Read more:
'Is it normal to get sore down there after sex?'
You also mention masturbating “on and off”. There is no right or wrong frequency for masturbating – it’s only a problem if a person feels it’s interfering with daily life.
Because sexuality in humans is linked to emotions, thoughts and beliefs, the ability to experience pleasure and orgasm does vary enormously. Negative feelings such as guilt or shame can be associated with masturbation especially if a person has grown up with specific negative beliefs about it.
There has been a long standing double standard about females being able to enjoy sex which, as you have noticed, means it’s not always easy to talk about. So thank you on behalf of lots of young
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