Girls Pussy With Things In There

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Well that is until you read these stories, which are enough to make you see all your equipment in a whole new light.
Yes, it turns out there is more that you can do with your vagina than you might have thought at first. That’s not to say you would want to do them, but rather that you can if it really tickles your fancy.
We’ve scoured the internet, and here are 10 of the craziest things women are doing with their vaginas!
Yep, you heard us right! There is now a divide that allows you to FaceTime people from the inside of your vagina. Clearly invented for times when it just wasn’t enough to get naked for your long-distance lover, the Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator comes complete with a high quality camera and lights. That way, you can capture all the amazing (and apparently sexy) photo and video content you could ever need.
We may have all been impressed at the ability of our lady parts to take a wide load (hello childbirth!) but there aren’t too many women who tested its storage abilities like Josephine McAllister. This Albuquerque woman was booked on charges that included trying to bring a gun to jail inside her vagina. She got rid of the run once inside, but her excuse when later caught was that she was carrying the gun in her waistband, and it slipped and fell inside her vagina. Yeah. Right.
If you’ve ever wanted to give your foetus a live concert while they’re still in the womb, and those belly speakers just aren’t cutting it, the Babypod should be your next purchase. Babypod is an internal speaker, designed by a Spanish company, to be inserted into the vagina to play music and stimulate your foetus. There are lots of studies to confirm the possible effectiveness of music on babies in the womb, and mums can even co-listen with split headphones. Groovy!
It’s the kind of thing we might have had nightmares about when we started using tampons, but it turns out that it actually happened. A report in the Journal of Sexual Medicine brought attention to the case of an (unnamed) woman who went to the doctor with issues relating to incontinence, weight loss and lethargy. It turns out she had a sex toy inside her, which had been stuck there for 10 years. The toy was removed by surgeons, who noted that the woman had near life-threatening damage. Alcohol was found to be the cause of her having ‘forgotten’ the toy in the first place.
This is one strange technique that has been made (in)famous by Gwyneth Paltrow and her lifestyle website Goop. According to them, vaginal steaming is a must-do if you’re hoping to detox your vagina, stimulate the production of milk, correct digestive issues, and protect from both ulcers and tumours. All you do is sit on a little throne and have various plants steamed into your bits. Sounds crazy? The experts certainly think it is, with a number of gynaecologists pointing out that as the vagina is self-cleaning, the procedure is a complete waste of time.
Vaginal steaming was an oddity on the lips of many in recent years, but it may yet be overshadowed by an even stranger product. They’re called Herbal Womb Detox Pearls, and while they sound like someone tripped over a translator, they’re actually small balls of perfumed herbs that are inserted into the vagina. The company that makes them claims they ‘detox’ the womb, promote vaginal tightening, and flush out toxins. However, experts have issued warnings over the possible dangers of the pearls in actually promoting discomfort and infection.
If you were looking for a new hobby, it turns out that vaginal knitting is a thing now… kinda. A woman named Casey Jenkins, who describes herself as a ‘performer craftivest’, from Melbourne, hit internet fame when she posted a video of a performance she called “Casting Off My Womb”. In the video, she knits using wool that has been inserted in, and then drawn out from, her vagina. The project took place over 28 days, including her menstruation, staining the wool a brown red in part of the finished project.
A couple in South Africa, having an incognito love affair without the knowledge of their partners, found themselves with way too much fame, thanks to the woman’s vagina. After having sex while her husband was away, Sasha Ngema, aged 34, and her tomboy lover, Sol Qoboza, aged 22, became locked together. People flocked to see them after a rumour spread that the woman’s husband had asked a witchdoctor to put a curse on his wayward wife, but experts believe that it’s much more likely that her vagina had contracted too much, a condition known as penis captivus.
A man advertising himself as a ‘ghostbuster’ in Guangzhou in the Guangdong Province in China was arrested after he apparently charged a young woman 20,000 yuan (more than $3,000) to exorcise ghosts in her vagina. The woman had come to the man to get help in seducing her boss, but he managed to convince her that he wouldn’t fall in love with her because the ghosts in her vagina were blocking his advances. How did he propose to get rid of those ghosts? By catching them with his penis, of course.
Think your lady parts are strong? Sure they’ve pushed out babies, but have you ever really tested them? Sex expert Kim Anami has. The intimacy coach who is known for teaching ‘vaginal kung fu’, among other things, has achieved fame on Instagram with her hashtag #ThingsILiftWithMyVagina. The photos show her demonstrating her unique abilities, and lifting heavy objects with her bulked vaginal muscles. Hey we understand that strengthening pelvic muscles can be a lifesaver, but maybe this is a lift too far…
A vagina can be many things aside from getting stuck with a penis. It also evolves along with technology and you just can’t imagine what other crazy things women do with their vaginas that we have not known of. But, let’s leave it in a diary or so.
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Senior Writer A passionate writer since her early school days, Oceana has graduated from writing nonsense stories to crafting engaging content for...Read Morean online audience. She enjoys the flexibility to write about topics from lifestyle, to travel, to family. Although not currently fulfilling the job of parent, her eight nieces and nephews keep her, and her reluctant partner, practiced and on their toes. Oceana holds a Bachelor of Arts with a major in Writing and Indonesian, and has used her interest in languages to create a career online. She's also the resident blonde at BarefootBeachBlonde.com, where she shares her, slightly dented, wisdom on photography, relationships, travel, and the quirks of a creative lifestyle. Read Less
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Look, let’s be real here. I’m not here to tell you what you should or should not do to your vagina. Your body, your choice after all. But let’s be real for a minute – there are some things that should absolutely, positively, 100% not go anywhere near your vagina, or any other orifice on your body for that matter. Just like your liver makes detoxes unnecessary and a waste of money, a normal, healthy woman would not need to do anything extra to ensure their vagina is clean. Vaginas clean themselves, which is why they have a discharge. And if you don’t believe me, someone even wrote a song about it.
But, for some weird reason, people still insist on trying weird product after weird product to “cleanse” themselves. So here are some of the strangest (and kind of funny) things women put in their vaginas in 2017:
If you’ve ever used it appropriately, then you know that this stuff is pretty potent. It has an extremely intense aroma, which is good for unclogging your sinuses, but apparently some women have put VapoRub on their vaginas. The claims range from “improving their sex life” (I guess for those who enjoy a burning sensation during sex?), “cleaning” the vagina, to even protecting against yeast infections. The thing is, it’s simply not true, and there is no evidence suggesting that VapoRub is a treatment for anything except a stuffy nose.
And to my bewilderment, it doesn’t stop there. There are oodles of websites promoting the use of VapoRub to treat things like acne, stretch marks, and more. K.
The best use of vinegar is on potato chips with a copious amount of salt. Probably the worst use would be to take a bath in it or squirt it inside your vagina (no, internet, that is *NOT* a challenge to find even worse things to do with vinegar…). But nevertheless, there are some women who apply vinegar liberally to their lady bits with the end goal of “tightening” things down there. Other women even soaked tampons in vinegar before using them.
A chiropractor (because leave it to a chiropractor to do something ridiculous) created the product Mensez, and he describes it on his website as:
Every woman wants a clean, dry, comfortable period. Mensez might work for you, a natural compound called Mucoadhesive, but don’t let that word frighten you. Mucoadhesives are used in all sorts of products like food, eye drops, cosmetics and medications. Mensez technology is a Chitosan based that will soon be available on very thin panty shields, when you wear them the Mensez compound causes the mucous membranes of the labia to cling together and prevents accidental leakage. It is technically a glue but it is unlike any you have ever seen, it does not feel sticky, it is nontoxic, non-allergenic, renewable, biodegradable, FDA approved for food, antibacterial (TSS) and antifungal (yeast).
The thing about this is the product isn’t actually for sale… Yet, at least. The site claims that Mensez is currently pending FDA approval. So it’s just as likely that the product doesn’t and won’t actually ever exist, and this is just a ploy to get some cheap advertising for the chiropractor. Why you would want to put anything like this on your vagina for any period of time (pun intended) is completely beyond me.
Glitter is awful. Glitter is a weapon of mass destruction. Glitter is like your drunk uncle during the holidays. Nobody wants him there, everybody hates him, you don’t know how to get rid of him, and no matter how hard you try, he keeps coming back.
Despite being the worst thing humans have created since nuclear weapons, some women have glitter bombed their vaginas. (I think “glitter bombed vaginas” is one of the most 2017 phrases that’s ever 2017’d.)
The product is called “Passion Dust Intimacy Capsules.” The very name of it makes me shudder. The product’s website says the product should be “inserted into the vagina at least one hour prior to having sexual intercourse.” The capsules will release sparkles that smell like candy. As Dr. Jen Gunter explains on her website:
Simple and easy. And the bonus is by not investing in glitter products, you can help end the scourge on humanity that is glitter.
Supposedly, this is a way to get rid of unhealthy bacteria post-coitus. But just like most other treatments or products that promise to kill bacteria, they can’t discern between which are “good” and which are “bad” bacteria, and your body actually needs some types of bacteria to help function. So this is just a silly idea all-around that could leave you killing off good bacteria while making you look completely ridiculous at the same time.
The word “Yoni” comes from Hinduism, and refers to a woman’s vulva or vagina. And because it is related to Hinduism, people automatically assume that it’s good for you, or “spiritual” (whatever the hell “spiritual” means). The product’s website cashes in on this new-age spirituality nonsense by referring to “vibes” and “energy” in your body. I am unaware of a single licensed and legitimate doctor who would say that your body has “vibes” or “energies” that need to be aligned or focused. Many oils like these have… who knows what in them? But some have tea tree oil or sugar, which can burn the mucosal lining of the vagina and cause an infection, respectively.
What the hell? I mean, seriously. What the hell?!? Things like this is why aliens won’t visit us.
This whole thing started on Etsy during the summer of 2017 as a way for women to “tighten” their vaginas. How does it do it? Well, it doesn’t. The nests themselves are very similar to paper, and are made by wasps chewing wood into a pulp with their saliva. So congratulations, you just shoved wood and wasp spit into your vagina (and you should feel bad). The only thing this will accomplish is possibly killing off good bacteria in your vagina while creating an opportunity for an infection. If you want things to be “tight” down there, your best bet is to do kegel exercises.
That thing that is protects us from dangerous UV rays is allegedly used as a way to cure cancer and yeast infections for women. As Vice pointed out, The FDA calls ozone “a toxic gas with no known useful medical application.” This hasn’t stopped women from pumping it into their vaginas (or other people from putting it in their rectum… seriously.). As always, any good pseudoscientific product will purport to cure a wide range of diseases, despite not having any peer-reviewed research to support it. If there was a product that cured cancer or AIDS or any other currently incurable ailments, it would be international news and the creator would be collecting their Nobel Prize instead of trying to sell it on Facebook or Etsy. The fact is, there are some things we do not have a known cure for, and there is no cover-up behind it.
Now look, I’m not here to tell you what to do or not to do. If you want to get real creative and use a cucumber or something else in an intimate manner, that’s none of my business.
But again, we’ll go back to our favorite gyno – Dr. Jen Gunter – who very plainly says:
It’s probably best if you don’t insert fruit and vegetables in your vagina.
Some of the reasons include the potential for infection, abrasions to the sensitive tissue inside the vagina, and making a really odd tasting salad with a used cucumber.
Leave it to the vagina-steaming celebrity, Gwenyth Paltrow, to come up with something like this. Gwenyth created the company called Goop, who has been the focus of many illegal health claims this year. She even sells packets of vitamins for $90 a month on her website. Like I’ve told my podcast partner Natalie numerous times, I wish we lacked a conscience and integrity, because we could make a killing selling useless garbage like that.
I was slightly amused by the “return policy” link.
Goop claims that the rock “helps connect the second chakra (the heart) and yoni for optimal self-love and well being.” Again, I’ve never heard of a medical professional refer to your vagina as a “yoni” or your heart as a “chakra,” but okay. And just to avoid the argument of “well Dan, you’re a man, you can’t tell me what to do,” Dr. Jen Gunter weighed in on this subject by saying:
Dear Gwyneth Paltrow, I’m a GYN and your vaginal jade eggs are a bad idea.
Science Enthusiast. Atheist. Lover of cats.
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