Girls Orgasims
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Girls Orgasims
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Want it, need it, have to have it — but what precisely is happening when you're climaxing? Here, the science behind the female orgasm
It's the only thing that feels better than diving into a cool lake on a sweltering day, biting into a juicy cheeseburger when you're starving, or even getting your wallet back after losing it on vacation abroad. An orgasm is that good. Which is why it bites that it doesn't happen more often. According to several major surveys, only 25 percent of women always climax during sex with a partner. The rest of us either hit — or miss — depending on the night, or never experience a female orgasm during intercourse at all. Compared to the male version (more than 90 percent of men get their cookies off 100 percent of the time), the female "O"; is a fleeting phenomenon. The question is: Why? What the hell was Mother Nature thinking?
Check out 14 mind-blowing facts about orgasms in our animated video:
That's what evolutionary biologists have been trying to figure out — with little success. The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution by Elisabeth Lloyd, Ph.D., a biology professor at Indiana University, shoots holes in virtually every theory that has ever attempted to pinpoint an evolutionary purpose to the female climax. "The clitoris has the indispensable function of promoting sexual excitement, which induces the female to have intercourse and become pregnant," Dr. Lloyd says. "But the actual incidence of the reflex of orgasm has never been tied to successful reproduction." Translation: Because women can and do get pregnant without climaxing, scientists can't figure out why we orgasm at all.
The good news is that most scientists do agree on the how. Here's what they know, so far — and how that knowledge can help the average girl hit her peak more often. Because even if the female orgasm does turn out to be pointless in terms of sustaining the species, it still feels pretty damn good.
When in the throes of an orgasm, you wouldn't notice if your dog, your cat, and your cockatiel started rearranging the furniture. Which makes it unlikely that you could track all the subtle changes that are happening in your body. Luckily, famous sex researchers William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson have done it for you in their seminal work, Human Sexuality. Here's what they found:
That warm, sexy rush you feel during foreplay is the result of blood heading straight to your vagina and clitoris. Around this time, the walls of the vagina start to secrete beads of lubrication that eventually get bigger and flow together.
As you become more turned on, blood continues to flood the pelvic area, breathing speeds up, heart rate increases, nipples become erect, and the lower part of the vagina narrows in order to grip the penis while the upper part expands to give it someplace to go. If all goes well (i.e., the phone doesn't ring and your partner knows what he's doing), an incredible amount of nerve and muscle tension builds up in the genitals, pelvis, buttocks, and thighs — until your body involuntarily releases it all at once in a series of intensely pleasurable waves, aka your orgasm.
The big bang is the moment when the uterus, vagina, and anus contract simultaneously at 0.8-second intervals. A small orgasm may consist of three to five contractions; a biggie, 10 to 15. Many women report feeling different kinds of orgasms — clitoral, vaginal, and many combinations of the two. According to Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., coauthor of The G-Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality , the reason may simply be that different parts of the vagina were stimulated more than others, and so have more tension to release. Also, muscles in other parts of the body may contract involuntarily — hence the clenched toes and goofy faces. As for the brain, a recent small-scale study at the Netherlands' University of Groningen found that areas involving fear and emotion are actually deactivated during orgasm (not so if you fake it).
After the peak of pleasure, the body usually slides into a state of satisfied relaxation — but not always. "Like their male counterparts, women can experience pelvic heaviness and aching if they do not reach orgasm," says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman . In fact, Dr. Kerner says, "many women complain that a single orgasm isn't enough to relieve the buildup of sexual tension," which can leave us with our own "blue balls." Don't worry: Like the male version, it's harmless.
So what goes wrong on those nights when the fuse gets lit but the bomb never explodes? "Nine times out of 10 it's because [the woman isn't] getting enough continuous clitoral stimulation," Dr. Kerner says. Often, "A woman will get close to orgasm, her partner picks up on it, and [then he either] orgasms immediately or changes what he was doing."
That's why Dr. Kerner frequently recommends the woman-on-top position. Because you control the angle and speed of the thrusts (try a back-and-forth motion so that your clitoris rubs against your partner's abdomen), it allows for the most constant clitoral stimulation. Another solution is to find a position that mimics how you masturbate. If you have solo sex by lying on your belly and rubbing your clitoris with your hands tucked beneath you, then your man can enter you from behind in that position. By watching you he'll also get a better sense of the stimulation you need.
"Spectatoring" is another problem that can trip women up. "It's when a woman is too concerned with her appearance and/or performance to actually enjoy herself," Dr. Kerner says. There's no way you're going to have an orgasm if you're fretting about your cellulite or stressing over whether your newest as-seen-on-late-night-cable moves feel good for him. Instead, you have to let the erotic sensations register in your mind. Focus. Breathe. Let go. "It may seem counterintuitive," he says, "but you need to relax to build sexual tension."
The best preparation for a big orgasm is probably a long, steamy shower, full-body massages by and for your man — or 10 minutes of steady oral sex, if you can get it. It's not so much your body that needs the R&R as your mind. "Many women need a transition period between dealing with the stress of everyday life and feeling sexual," Dr. Kerner says. "A few minutes of foreplay usually isn't enough." Doing something ritualistic and soothing that will clear your head of to-do lists, work issues, family problems, and whatever else might be distracting you from connecting with your body is essential to feeling ecstatic.
A Hormone Worth Getting Excited About
The most fascinating orgasmic side effect of all happens in the brain. During the big moment, the hypothalamus releases extra oxytocin into your system. Called the "cuddle hormone," oxytocin has been correlated with the urge to bond, be affectionate, and protect (new moms are drunk on the stuff). Since an increase in oxytocin has been shown to strengthen the uterine contractions that transport sperm to the egg, those findings are giving evolutionary biologists new hope. According to Dr. Lloyd, it's conceivable that the additional oxytocin gives enough of a boost to contractions that orgasm could play a part in conception after all. "Of all the avenues of orgasm research, I think the oxytocin avenue is the most promising," she says. It's even been hypothesized that having an orgasm and releasing that tide of oxytocin is a woman's subconscious way of approving of her partner as a potential dad.
The latest news is that this cuddle hormone might also be linked to our ability to trust. In a recent study at the University of Zurich, scientists asked 178 male college students to play an investment game with a partner they'd never met. Half of the students used an oxytocin nasal spray (not yet available in the United States) beforehand; half used a placebo. Those with the spray containing oxytocin were more than twice as likely to feel comfortable giving all of their money to their anonymous (but legitimate) partner. If oxytocin can help women feel more at ease about letting go and intensify orgasmic contractions, we might all want a bottle of the stuff stashed in our bedside drawers someday soon.
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Claire is a freelance writer covering sex and gender.
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Josey Murray is the editorial fellow at Women's Health.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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Orgasms don't always come easy, but thanks to the wildly subjective nature of human pleasure, there are so, so many ways to reach that peak. And I think we can agree that it is *worth it*, no matter what "type" of orgasm you experience. Although the orgasm rate for penis-havers is higher (boo), the erectile tissue for people with vaginas is spread out over a larger area, meaning more erogenous zones to enjoy and more ways to reach climax. So there is no reason that with a lil' effort, lots of communication with partners, and a clear understanding of your body, that orgasm gap can't be closed.
Now, to clear things up, "different orgasms" doesn't really mean different types so much as different ways to evoke the sensation. "Most researchers tend to believe that there’s really only one kind of orgasm that can be triggered by different parts of the body," says Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and the creator of Finishing School , an online orgasm course for women.
Sheila Loanzon, MD , a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist and a fellow of the American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecology, agrees that there aren't always clear categories to orgasms. "Instead of thinking about kinds of orgasm, there are different ways that an orgasm can be reached," she tells Women's Health . Sometimes you can just aim to stimulate different areas to achieve an orgasm, and other times, it can be a combination of factors. "There can be clitoral, vaginal, breast, inner thigh, toe sucking, oral, sensual massage, and mental orgasms and so many more," says Dr. Loanzon.
And this means even more exciting ways to spice up your sex life. Now let's get started so you can get to trying out all 11 ways to have an orgasm.
The clitoris is a small, nerve-dense structure seated at the top of the vaginal opening, and serves no function other than to provide sexual pleasure . "If you’ve never had an orgasm before, you want to start with the clitoris," Marin says.
How to have a clitoral orgasm: First things first, you need to figure out if you prefer direct or indirect stimulation, which is to say, touching the clitoris itself, or through the labia and clitoral hood. Marin suggests rubbing it with your fingers (rather than a sex toy) at first, "going in a spiral type of shape around your clitoris."
"Start pretty far from it and then spiral in closer to it until you’re finally spiraling over it, and then spiraling back out," she says. Note when and how your body responds: With that knowledge base, experiment with different types of touch until you find the one that works for you.
"The G spot is a hypothesized highly erogenous area on the anterior (or front) vaginal wall of the urethral sponge that can be stimulated during sexual activity," Loanzon says. "It is the female equivalent to the prostate."
How to have a G-spot orgasm: "Pee first so you don’t hold yourself back from climax, as G-spot stimulation can lead to a need-to-pee sensation and female ejaculation ," says Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure . "Insert your middle finger in the vagina, on the belly-button side of the body. You’ll feel an area that’s likely corrugated in texture. Stop there and use a come-hither motion to stimulate or a toy rubbing or vibrating in that area."
Or, if you’re having penetrative sex, try a position that hits your G-spot —rear entry positions work well for this—and keep stimulating the area until you climax.
" Blended orgasms are combining clitoral stimulation with some kind of other stimulation, and that can actually be a great way—once you’ve mastered the clitoral orgasm—to figure out what other parts of your body feel like," Marin says. So, theoretically, you could achieve blended orgasm from stimulating your nipples and your G-spot simultaneously, but the most common combination is clitoris and G-spot.
How to have a blended orgasm: If you’ve got both the G-spot and the clitoral orgasm down, you’re in great shape—basically, just stimulate the G-spot at the same time you stimulate your clit.
Or, if nipple tweaking, earlobe biting, or the anus are what get you going, focus your attention there. But for most people who have clitorises, involving that area will up your odds of achieving a blended orgasm.
"There are shared nerves from the anterior wall of the rectum to the vagina," Dr. Loanzon previously told Women's Health. "So for vagina owners, it may be possible for sexual arousal to occur from rectal stimulation," she says. Plus, the legs of the clitoris stretch all the way back to the anus, so back door stimulation can fire up the clit, too.
How to have an anal orgasm: Alicia Sinclair, a certified sex educator and the CEO of b-vibe recommends incorporating your tried-and-true orgasm maneuvers into any anal adventure. She also suggests easing into anal play by inserting a finger first, "so that you can be the giver and receiver." Use lots of lube , too, and work your way in slowly.
"When you put something inside the anal canal, push up in the same way toward the belly button, as you would in the vagina," Sinclair explains. That way, "you have that same possibility of stimulating that central nerve area," she says.
The C-spot is your cervix, and involves nerve endings located in the cervix and around the uterus. Anatomical differences and surgical history—i.e., a hysterectomy that involves the cervix's removal— can affect a person's ability to achieve cervical orgasm, as can a partner's penis size (if your partner happens to have a penis). Heavy thrusting with a particularly well-endowed partner may hurt, so communicate about how cervical stimulation feels for you.
How to have a cervical orgasm: The key to a cervical orgasm is the build-up, Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., author of The New Sex Bible resident sexologist for ASTROGLIDE , told Women's Health . You have a better chance of achieving one—and of enjoying pleasurable, rather than painful, C-spot sensations—if you’re very turned on. So, save deep penetration until you’re close to climax, and then have your partner thrust (or use a sex toy or finger) so that they hit your cervix.
You probably already know where and what the nipples are, but what you might not know is that some people can orgasm solely from their stimulation. As Men’s Health reported, in one study of 213 women, 29 percent reported having had a breast-based orgasm at some point in their lives.
"When the nipples are stimulated, oxytocin is released, which causes the same uterine and vaginal contractions associated with orgasm," says ob-gyn Christiane Northrup, MD, author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom . "This brings more blood flow to the genitals and can trigger an orgasm."
How to have a nipple orgasm: "When it comes to nipple/breast pleasure, I wouldn’t get too hung up on the goal of orgasm," O’Reilly says. "Focus on the pleasure and see where it leads."
O'Reilly recommends experimenting with the area right above the areola, which many people find to be the most touch-sensitive. "Start on the outer edges, using the backs of your fingers ,and circle your way slowly into the center," O'Reilly says. You can also roll the nipple between thumb and forefinger.
Some people may find it feels great to have a partner breath on, lick, suck, or pinch the nipples. This is all subjective, so it's a matter of playing around to determine what feels best for you. A light touch, at least at first, may be best for breast action. Try gentle boob cupping while stimulating the nipples with a tongue or vibrator, rather than full-on grabbing.
A coregasm is "when you work out and you have orgasms" just from the physical activity, Marin says.
How to have a coregasm: Unfortunately, this may not be something you can train your body to do. "It seems to be people are kind of born doing that and it kind of tends to be an annoyance, more often than not," Marin continues. Because yeah, exercising in a crowded gym and not being able to stop yourself from climaxing can get...awkward.
Typically, Marin explains, coregasms happen in two ways: "One is from running, where your thighs might be rubbing together and you’re getting a little bit of indirect clitoral stimulation." But the more common one is from core workouts . "Some people with vaginas will have them from just doing sit-ups. Others experience them from yoga-type practices, or being in a bridge position where you really have your core engaged," adds Marin. So maybe it's more of an at-home workout type of experimentation...
A skin orgasm is also called "frisson," like the tingle that runs through your limbs when you hear a particularly affecting song. Maybe you get goosebumps, maybe your hair stands up, or maybe you get a little shiver.
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