Girls Masterbate

Girls Masterbate

Box Sets
LGBTQ+
Crime

Health & Wellbeing
A-Z Shows
Sex & Relationships

Things not to say
Documentaries
Sport

Comedy
News
RuPaul's Drag Race UK

This is often seen as a taboo subject. You’ve probably tucked yourself into a corner to read this article, peering over your shoulder for fear of odd looks from passers-by. To be honest, I even found myself hiding my notes for this piece when colleagues casually approached my desk to ask if I’d like a cup of tea.
Women discussing onanism is not the done thing, but that shouldn’t be the case. Despite research showing that women masturbate as frequently as men, it's still not a topic that all females openly discuss. The Swedes have even created a new term for female masturbation in an attempt to stop women from being put off talking about the topic by the usual male-associated words.
To help us shake off the persistent social stigma, we’ve created a guide to female self-pleasuring. We spoke to women about their own experiences and got some expert tips on how to make things work for you, including from Strawberry Siren, former Miss Burlesque Australia and the creator of the Pussy Play Masterclass, a workshop on the art of playing with yourself.
The only thing to do now is read on, and plan an early night.
Understanding the different bits of your body is the first step towards successful stimulation. Don’t be put off by the fact that you may not know the names of your parts, as the first and most important step is getting to know how to ‘use’ them, say the experts.
Lisa Lister, author and creator of wellness website The Sassy She says that getting to know your body, and not getting hung up on terminology, is the best approach.
“It would be great if we were taught the technicalities in school, but unfortunately we’re not. Though it’s good to know the terminology, it’s not essential. My advice would be to explore, get to know what things feel like, and if it feels good, keep going!”
To help us on our quest to become more familiar with our anatomy, Lisa has provided us with simple, straightforward definitions for some of our bodily bits from her book Love Your Lady Landscape.
Vulva: "This is the outer part of your lady landscape. It includes the clitoris, labia lips, urethra and entrance to the vagina, and its opening is almond shaped."
Clitoris: "When people people talk about the clitoris, they’re usually just talking about the glans – the very sensitive outside part, but the bean-like bump you can see on the vulva is just the tip of the iceberg. It's the only organ of the body with the sole function of providing pleasure."
Vagina: "This is a pulsing muscle that opens and closes between the cervix (at the base of the uterus) and the external opening."
Lisa also thinks getting to know your menstrual cycle is an important way of ensuring you get the most from the experience.
"Some people find that they’ll want to be playful and explore more around ovulation. You may not feel the urge to masturbate during your pre-menstrual cycle, but the orgasms will actually be way better, even if they do take a bit longer."
Put it into practice: Use the Pussy Play Masterclass ‘Rise and Sine’ approach to get to know a variety of these areas at once.
"Using the tips of your fingers, lightly tap the pubic bone above the clitoris to wake the vulva up. You may also want to press down and rub in a circular motion."
Confused by the variety of animal-themed vibrators and neon dildos available online? Well, our girls think it's best to go organic.
Lisa thinks that, though sex toys can be a good way to introduce newcomers to the self-pleasure game, it's best to avoid becoming dependent on them.
“The real fun and pleasure comes through when you use your fingers,” says Lisa.
“Personally, I think that using a toy can desensitise the whole experience. You want to be able to touch yourself, so that you can be playful and get to know the speed and feel you want.”
Put it into practice: Put your fingers to the test with the ‘Scissors Sisters’ technique.
"Making a peace sign with your hands, place each finger on either side of the outer labia. Then, while pressing down lightly, wiggle the fingers towards each other, squeezing and lifting the labia together between the two fingers."
Get to know your clit "Your clitoris is awesome," says Lisa. As mentioned above, the clitoris is more than just the outer, bean-shaped part. "It's the most nerve-rich part of the vulva, containing over 8,000 nerve endings, which is twice as many as the penis. This makes it the powerhouse of pleasure."
Lisa explains that there’s more to the clitoris than initially meets the eye. “This tiny erogenous zone spreads the feel-good-love to 15,000 other nerves in the pelvis, which explains why it feels like your whole body is being taken over when you orgasm."
Put it into practice: Make your wildest fantasies come true and try out the 'Princess and the Pea' technique.
"Making sure the tip of your finger is nice and moist, slowly pull the hood over the clitoris back and gently stroke the head of the clitoris. You may also want to use a small circular motion, depending on your preferences."
It's important to enjoy the whole experience, rather than racing to the finish line. Lube can be particularly good for assisting in the arousal process.
Lisa believes that engaging in foreplay can be beneficial for your relationships too.
“Be as indulgent as possible. Give yourself the full experience by making time to be exploratory and playful. By doing so, you’ll build a better relationship with your own body and as a result, be able to have more confidence in a relationship to say exactly what you want and when.”
Put it into practice: Warm yourself up by trying out the ‘Escargot’ technique
“Starting at the base of the vagina, lightly drag your fingertip at a snail’s pace towards the clitoris. Make sure you don’t put your finger in too deep at this point, as you want to avoid touching the urethra."
Originally published 10 November 2017.
The taboos of women's sexual health
Young, female, and addicted to porn
Five expert-approved break-up texts to send instead of ghosting
The taboos of women's sexual health
Young, female, and addicted to porn
Five expert-approved break-up texts to send instead of ghosting
Meet the cast of BBC Three's new thriller Red Rose
The Rap Game UK: What does it mean to be a British rapper?
Sky High Club: Exploring the barriers to becoming a pilot
Red Rose: 'We're excited for the world to see Bolton's beauty - and its dirt'

By Hannah Orenstein Published: Dec 4, 2017
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
"I can't be the only one who does it, right?"
Masturbation — there , we said it. Touching yourself might feel taboo and you might be embarrassed to talk about it, but exploring your sexuality is totally normal. It's a healthy way to learn about yourself and your body, so you feel more comfortable when you're ready to have a sexual partner. (And hey, it's fun and feels good, too.) If you think you're the only one of your friends who has done it, you're probably not. Here, 18 girls open up about how they do it, how often they do it, and all the complicated feelings (pleasure, empowerment, happiness, embarrassment) that go along with it.
1. "I was 13 or 14 when I masturbated for the first time. I was watching TV with my grandma — I think it was Modern Family — and they brought up masturbation. I had no idea at that time what it even meant, but handy ol' Google quickly filled me in. I masturbated for the first time shortly after that. It was awkward at first. I tried the whole shower head thing to see what all the hype was about, but it didn't work for me. I probably masturbate twice a week now. I come from a very religious family, so I thought it was something to be ashamed of. Now, it's completely different. A girl's got needs." — Spencer, 17
2. "I was 15 years old when it first happened. Up until a few months ago, I was COMPLETELY embarrassed about masturbation. Each time I did it, I was ashamed that it happened and wished that it didn't. I knew this feeling would occur afterwards, but I always did it anyways. However, now that I'm entering college and defining who I am, I am realizing that it isn't something I should be ashamed of. I can't be the only one who does it, right? The feminist in me has given me the ability to feel empowered and in control of myself and what I want each time it happens." — Malia, 18
3. "I use my hand, read sexy stories, and fantasize about past experiences. I masturbate quite frequently actually — at least four times a week. I'm an open book when it comes to literally anything else, but when it comes to masturbation, I'd never admit to doing it. Honestly, typing, or even saying the words 'I masturbate,' feels so foreign and taboo. I'm not ashamed of doing it, I'm just super secretive about it." — Noelle, 17
4. "I started experimenting with masturbation last year. I was a little nervous about it, but when I attempted it, I felt a little pleasure and wasn't so turned off by the idea anymore. I usually do it before I go to bed so I fall asleep better. At first, I used a pillow to masturbate and just recently switched to doing it myself. There's so many good things that come from having an orgasm so why wouldn't you? You've got to learn what you like and figure yourself out before someone else can. " — Annaka, 17
5. "I started when I was 17. I had my first orgasm, and after that, it became something I had to do every night. I just tend to use clitoral stimulation because it's foolproof for me and it's what I am most comfortable with at the moment. " — Jackie, 19
6. "I was 19 years old and had just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship. One day when I was sad, my best friend/roommate said I need to lock myself in my room, explore my body and love myself. Ever since, I've been very open to masturbating and truthfully regret not pleasuring myself sooner. Since then, I would say I regularly masturbate maybe three times a week, whenever I have free time in my bed really. I use my hand and read stories from time to time. It's empowered me to take control of my body and dictate when and how I experience pleasure. In a society that prioritizes men's sexual pleasure over women's, I take pride in knowing that I love myself and deserve all the pleasure I want and enjoy." — Avery, 22
7. "My mom told me once that she saw me playing with myself when I was a toddler, but the first time I can remember masturbating was in my early teens, maybe 13 or 14. I think it was to a fan fiction. It was pretty clumsy, and I recall being more embarrassed and worried that someone would walk in on me than focused on pleasure. Now, it makes me feel happy and satisfied. It's nice to be able to take pleasure into your own hands... literally. " — Megan, 19
8. "I usually masturbate once a day. I have to have visuals, so I watch porn. It's hard for me to just imagine stuff. I'm not embarrassed that I masturbate; if we're close enough and you ask me, I won't deny it at all. Or sometimes when I'm texting my friends in the group chat I'll be like, "brb gonna go mb." It's completely normal. I used to be really ashamed about it, though." — Fran, 22
9. "I masturbate roughly one to three times a week. When I first started masturbating, I'd use either my fingers or my shower head. Now that I'm 18, I bought myself a vibrator. " — Jill, 18
10. "I was about 11 the first time I masturbated. It was kind of an accident. I had a pillow between my legs to keep them from sticking to each other, and next thing I knew, I was humping the pillow. I usually start off reading sexy stories on Tumblr or porn websites, hump my pillow, and then start to use my hand. I've never talked to anyone about masturbating because I feel like I'd get judged for doing it. But the older I get and the more I hear about women masturbating, the better I feel about it. I don't think of masturbating as a bad thing anymore." — Ada, 18
11. "I was probably like 15 my first time. It was a really awkward and clumsy experience, and I felt guilty for doing it. I just use my hand, and usually if I'm in the mood to do it, I really don't need to think about anything else to help. It makes me feel proud that I'm secure enough with myself and my body to do it. I'm not ashamed at all because theres nothing wrong with doing it. It's a great way to relieve stress." — Michaela, 17
12. "I was 18 when I first tried. It was a super uncomfortable feeling. I think because I felt like it was a 'dirty' thing to do — even though the reason I was trying it in the first place was to familiarize myself with my body while I'm alone so I'd be comfortable and know my body when I was with my boyfriend as our relationship got more serious. I just Googled how to do it. The website I read had a ton of different ways to do it. I used my shower head. I switched the water power setting to a soft little stream. I moved past feeling dirty or embarrassed about masturbating, because I realized how comfy I am with my body now. I'm proud that I'm so in tune with myself." — Jordyn, 19
13. "I was 17 the first time I did it. At first, I didn't know what to do, and then I kind of just learned to move my hips around to get different feelings. I like to fantasize about guys when I'm doing it and I let the faucet do all the work. I want to try it with a dildo or vibrator, but I just don't have the guts to go buy one and risk getting caught with it in my room." — Kelly, 19
14. " I've tried talking to my friends about masturbation. I think they felt uncomfortable and a little astonished that I was so open with my sexuality. I think masturbation is a completely normal and healthy expression of loving your body and who you are. Over the years, I've shifted from feeling guilty to feeling proud of my body." — Lacey, 17
15. "I usually use my hand, but sometimes when I'm really worked up I use a mini vibrator to amp things up. Typically I watch steamy videos, but sometimes I will read written stories as well. The very first time I masturbated, when I was 11 or 12, I was thrilled by it. I instinctively knew it was something I needed to keep to myself, but I apparently didn't do a very good job because about a week or so later, my mom came to talk to me about it (LOL). There was no shame involved, she just wanted me to make sure I only did it when I knew I had private time, as my little sister was in the house as well." — Tori, 23
16. "I stumbled across masturbating when I was 14. I used my fingers to rub my clit really quickly because that's how I thought you were 'supposed' to do it. I Googled tips. Eventually realized I liked slower motions and also lying under the bathtub faucet. I would've rather died than admit that I did it in high school, but once I got to college, my friends started talking about it more openly. That helped me feel comfortable talking about it, too." — Lauren, 22
17. "I was about nine or ten. I kind of stumbled upon it so it was pretty clumsily done. I remember being blown away with how good it felt. Since then, I just capitalized on what I felt and that's how I began masturbating. I masturbate anytime I really feel the need to. Sometimes I fantasize about different situations, read sexy stories, and I have a special playlist of pornos on my iPhone's Reading List that I watch. Growing up in a Christian community keeps me from talking so openly about it to my family, but my friends and I speak about it openly in our small circle." — Carla, 18
18. "I was 12 years old the first time I masturbated. It was an overwhelming experience; I didn't know what I was supposed to feel, and once I felt the rush, I didn't expect to feel it so strongly. I mostly just use my hand, but I've used my shower head a couple times before too. I actually read a lot of young adult books that have sex scenes in them and that would get me really aroused too." — Zaire, 21
Hannah Orenstein is the author of several novels, including Meant to Be Mine (out June 7, 2022), Head Over Heels, Love at First Like, and Playing with Matches. She's also the Deputy Editor of Dating at Elite Daily. She lives in Brooklyn.
Cool-As-Hell Holiday Gifts For Boyfriends
The Quiz: Which Disney Princess Are You?
31 One-Year Anniversary Gifts For Your Boyfriend
Grad Gifts For Guys That Are Worth the Hype
54 Non-Lame Valentine's Day Gifts For Ya Mans
V Day Gifts Under $25 That Are *Actually* Romantic
Adorable Valentine's Day Gifts Your Girlfriend
36 Fun Ideas If You're Single on Valentine's Day
How to Tell Your Crush You Like Them
Seventeen picks products that we think you'll love the most. We may earn commission from the links on this page.
©Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Home

Edition

Africa

Australia

Canada

Canada (français)

España

France

Global

Indonesia

New Zealand

United Kingdom

United States

Academic rigour, journalistic flair

It is normal for girls and women to masturbate.
Nina Maile Gordon/The Conversation , CC BY-NC-ND

‘Is it normal for girls to masturbate?’

Published: February 28, 2019 7.14pm GMT

We believe in the free flow of information

Sexuality

Masturbation

Clitoral orgasm

Female orgasm

clitoris

Female desire

Female body

I need to know

Associate professor, University of Technology Sydney

Melissa Kang does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
University of Technology Sydney provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.
I Need to Know is an ongoing series for teens in search of reliable, confidential advice about life’s tricky questions .
Hi, I have a question after reading a published piece for I Need To Know. Masturbating has always seemed to be acceptable for boys, but less commonly discussed among girls.
Is it normal for girls to masturbate and are there any health consequences? I am a girl who accidentally disco
Nude Tina Louise
Mature Women Porn Pics
Ig Porn

Girls Masterbate

Report Page