Girls Love Masturbation

Girls Love Masturbation
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"I can't be the only one who does it, right?"
Masturbation — there , we said it. Touching yourself might feel taboo and you might be embarrassed to talk about it, but exploring your sexuality is totally normal. It's a healthy way to learn about yourself and your body, so you feel more comfortable when you're ready to have a sexual partner. (And hey, it's fun and feels good, too.) If you think you're the only one of your friends who has done it, you're probably not. Here, 18 girls open up about how they do it, how often they do it, and all the complicated feelings (pleasure, empowerment, happiness, embarrassment) that go along with it.
1. "I was 13 or 14 when I masturbated for the first time. I was watching TV with my grandma — I think it was Modern Family — and they brought up masturbation. I had no idea at that time what it even meant, but handy ol' Google quickly filled me in. I masturbated for the first time shortly after that. It was awkward at first. I tried the whole shower head thing to see what all the hype was about, but it didn't work for me. I probably masturbate twice a week now. I come from a very religious family, so I thought it was something to be ashamed of. Now, it's completely different. A girl's got needs." — Spencer, 17
2. "I was 15 years old when it first happened. Up until a few months ago, I was COMPLETELY embarrassed about masturbation. Each time I did it, I was ashamed that it happened and wished that it didn't. I knew this feeling would occur afterwards, but I always did it anyways. However, now that I'm entering college and defining who I am, I am realizing that it isn't something I should be ashamed of. I can't be the only one who does it, right? The feminist in me has given me the ability to feel empowered and in control of myself and what I want each time it happens." — Malia, 18
3. "I use my hand, read sexy stories, and fantasize about past experiences. I masturbate quite frequently actually — at least four times a week. I'm an open book when it comes to literally anything else, but when it comes to masturbation, I'd never admit to doing it. Honestly, typing, or even saying the words 'I masturbate,' feels so foreign and taboo. I'm not ashamed of doing it, I'm just super secretive about it." — Noelle, 17
4. "I started experimenting with masturbation last year. I was a little nervous about it, but when I attempted it, I felt a little pleasure and wasn't so turned off by the idea anymore. I usually do it before I go to bed so I fall asleep better. At first, I used a pillow to masturbate and just recently switched to doing it myself. There's so many good things that come from having an orgasm so why wouldn't you? You've got to learn what you like and figure yourself out before someone else can. " — Annaka, 17
5. "I started when I was 17. I had my first orgasm, and after that, it became something I had to do every night. I just tend to use clitoral stimulation because it's foolproof for me and it's what I am most comfortable with at the moment. " — Jackie, 19
6. "I was 19 years old and had just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship. One day when I was sad, my best friend/roommate said I need to lock myself in my room, explore my body and love myself. Ever since, I've been very open to masturbating and truthfully regret not pleasuring myself sooner. Since then, I would say I regularly masturbate maybe three times a week, whenever I have free time in my bed really. I use my hand and read stories from time to time. It's empowered me to take control of my body and dictate when and how I experience pleasure. In a society that prioritizes men's sexual pleasure over women's, I take pride in knowing that I love myself and deserve all the pleasure I want and enjoy." — Avery, 22
7. "My mom told me once that she saw me playing with myself when I was a toddler, but the first time I can remember masturbating was in my early teens, maybe 13 or 14. I think it was to a fan fiction. It was pretty clumsy, and I recall being more embarrassed and worried that someone would walk in on me than focused on pleasure. Now, it makes me feel happy and satisfied. It's nice to be able to take pleasure into your own hands... literally. " — Megan, 19
8. "I usually masturbate once a day. I have to have visuals, so I watch porn. It's hard for me to just imagine stuff. I'm not embarrassed that I masturbate; if we're close enough and you ask me, I won't deny it at all. Or sometimes when I'm texting my friends in the group chat I'll be like, "brb gonna go mb." It's completely normal. I used to be really ashamed about it, though." — Fran, 22
9. "I masturbate roughly one to three times a week. When I first started masturbating, I'd use either my fingers or my shower head. Now that I'm 18, I bought myself a vibrator. " — Jill, 18
10. "I was about 11 the first time I masturbated. It was kind of an accident. I had a pillow between my legs to keep them from sticking to each other, and next thing I knew, I was humping the pillow. I usually start off reading sexy stories on Tumblr or porn websites, hump my pillow, and then start to use my hand. I've never talked to anyone about masturbating because I feel like I'd get judged for doing it. But the older I get and the more I hear about women masturbating, the better I feel about it. I don't think of masturbating as a bad thing anymore." — Ada, 18
11. "I was probably like 15 my first time. It was a really awkward and clumsy experience, and I felt guilty for doing it. I just use my hand, and usually if I'm in the mood to do it, I really don't need to think about anything else to help. It makes me feel proud that I'm secure enough with myself and my body to do it. I'm not ashamed at all because theres nothing wrong with doing it. It's a great way to relieve stress." — Michaela, 17
12. "I was 18 when I first tried. It was a super uncomfortable feeling. I think because I felt like it was a 'dirty' thing to do — even though the reason I was trying it in the first place was to familiarize myself with my body while I'm alone so I'd be comfortable and know my body when I was with my boyfriend as our relationship got more serious. I just Googled how to do it. The website I read had a ton of different ways to do it. I used my shower head. I switched the water power setting to a soft little stream. I moved past feeling dirty or embarrassed about masturbating, because I realized how comfy I am with my body now. I'm proud that I'm so in tune with myself." — Jordyn, 19
13. "I was 17 the first time I did it. At first, I didn't know what to do, and then I kind of just learned to move my hips around to get different feelings. I like to fantasize about guys when I'm doing it and I let the faucet do all the work. I want to try it with a dildo or vibrator, but I just don't have the guts to go buy one and risk getting caught with it in my room." — Kelly, 19
14. " I've tried talking to my friends about masturbation. I think they felt uncomfortable and a little astonished that I was so open with my sexuality. I think masturbation is a completely normal and healthy expression of loving your body and who you are. Over the years, I've shifted from feeling guilty to feeling proud of my body." — Lacey, 17
15. "I usually use my hand, but sometimes when I'm really worked up I use a mini vibrator to amp things up. Typically I watch steamy videos, but sometimes I will read written stories as well. The very first time I masturbated, when I was 11 or 12, I was thrilled by it. I instinctively knew it was something I needed to keep to myself, but I apparently didn't do a very good job because about a week or so later, my mom came to talk to me about it (LOL). There was no shame involved, she just wanted me to make sure I only did it when I knew I had private time, as my little sister was in the house as well." — Tori, 23
16. "I stumbled across masturbating when I was 14. I used my fingers to rub my clit really quickly because that's how I thought you were 'supposed' to do it. I Googled tips. Eventually realized I liked slower motions and also lying under the bathtub faucet. I would've rather died than admit that I did it in high school, but once I got to college, my friends started talking about it more openly. That helped me feel comfortable talking about it, too." — Lauren, 22
17. "I was about nine or ten. I kind of stumbled upon it so it was pretty clumsily done. I remember being blown away with how good it felt. Since then, I just capitalized on what I felt and that's how I began masturbating. I masturbate anytime I really feel the need to. Sometimes I fantasize about different situations, read sexy stories, and I have a special playlist of pornos on my iPhone's Reading List that I watch. Growing up in a Christian community keeps me from talking so openly about it to my family, but my friends and I speak about it openly in our small circle." — Carla, 18
18. "I was 12 years old the first time I masturbated. It was an overwhelming experience; I didn't know what I was supposed to feel, and once I felt the rush, I didn't expect to feel it so strongly. I mostly just use my hand, but I've used my shower head a couple times before too. I actually read a lot of young adult books that have sex scenes in them and that would get me really aroused too." — Zaire, 21
Hannah Orenstein is the author of several novels, including Meant to Be Mine (out June 7, 2022), Head Over Heels, Love at First Like, and Playing with Matches. She's also the Deputy Editor of Dating at Elite Daily. She lives in Brooklyn.
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It is normal for girls and women to masturbate.
Nina Maile Gordon/The Conversation , CC BY-NC-ND

‘Is it normal for girls to masturbate?’

Published: February 28, 2019 7.14pm GMT

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Sexuality

Masturbation

Clitoral orgasm

Female orgasm

clitoris

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Female body

I need to know

Associate professor, University of Technology Sydney

Melissa Kang does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
University of Technology Sydney provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.
I Need to Know is an ongoing series for teens in search of reliable, confidential advice about life’s tricky questions .
Hi, I have a question after reading a published piece for I Need To Know. Masturbating has always seemed to be acceptable for boys, but less commonly discussed among girls.
Is it normal for girls to masturbate and are there any health consequences? I am a girl who accidentally discovered how to masturbate when I was quite young and continued it on and off afterwards, should I be worried about this? Will this affect my future sexual experience?
Hi there, and thanks for bringing up this really important topic. You’ve asked some great questions and I hope the answers will be reassuring! First of all: yes it’s completely normal for girls and women to masturbate.
Masturbation is when a person touches their own genitals for sexual arousal and pleasure, and often leads to orgasm. It can include touching other parts of your body that feel good, such as the nipples. Many people use their fingers and hands, but some might use objects such as sex toys.
Masturbation is something people do to themselves, although “mutual masturbation” refers to people touching each others’ genitals for the same reason.
In a large Australian survey , 42% of women said they had masturbated in the past year (compared to 72% of men). This survey included people aged 16 to 69 years of age, and there is no recent information on this topic in Australia on younger teens.
A study in the US looked only at 14- to 17-year-olds and found by 17 years of age, over 58% of females said they masturbated, compared to 80% of 17-year-old males. So it’s pretty common, and it’s also possible girls and women just don’t like to say they’ve masturbated.
Traditionally, masturbation has been something that is acceptable for boys. It’s only recently we’ve started talking about female masturbation more openly.
It’s useful to know for most females the clitoris is the most sexually sensitive part of the body. The Australian study mentioned above also showed when a man and a woman have sex, women were much more likely to have an orgasm when her genitals were touched directly using hands or through oral sex. This is because of where the clitoris is.
It’s a wishbone-shaped bundle of nerves and blood vessels that will swell up and feel tingly and pleasurable when stimulated. The tip of it pokes out above the hole where wee comes out (the urethra) but it extends up to 10 centimetres behind the sides of the vagina. This is why it can also feel good to have an object (including fingers or a penis) inside the vagina pushing against the arms of the clitoris.
For most of history, the clitoris was not fully understood or appreciated. It was an Australian surgeon – and a woman – who discovered how extensive it was.
There are plenty of health benefits from masturbation. Masturbating and having an orgasm can relieve period pain and stress.
It’s also a great way to explore your body and know what feels good, which will make it easier to communicate to a partner when the time comes. It is also a sexual practice that cannot cause pregnancy or lead to an STI.
You mentioned discovering masturbation when you were quite young. Parents and caretakers report observing even very young children touching their genitals because it feels good. Although the body needs to go through puberty before a person can experience mature sexual arousal, it’s clear children also experience pleasurable sensations.

Read more:
'Is it normal to get sore down there after sex?'

You also mention masturbating “on and off”. There is no right or wrong frequency for masturbating – it’s only a problem if a person feels it’s interfering with daily life.
Because sexuality in humans is linked to emotions, thoughts and beliefs, the ability to experience pleasure and orgasm does vary enormously. Negative feelings such as guilt or shame can be associated with masturbation especially if a person has grown up with specific negative beliefs about it.
There has been a long standing double standard about females being able to enjoy sex which, as you have noticed, means it’s not always easy to talk about. So thank you on behalf of lots of young women out there for being willing to talk about this very natural activity!
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It's about time you know what you really like.
Masturbation should not be a taboo topic for women: Not only does it feel amazing, but it can also improve your health , sleep, and sex life. Whether you struggle to reach orgasm , are a busy mom who needs to do the deed faster, or are simply looking for a different masturbation technique to spice things up, these tips will sharpen your solo sex skills.
Assuming you're familiar with the clitoris , it's time you get to know the more elusive G-spot. Located on the upper wall of the vagina, about two to three inches inside the vaginal opening, it swells up when you are already aroused, says Courtney Cleman, founder of the V. Club . Stimulating it can boost the sensations that can help you orgasm that much faster, she adds.
While there are G-spot vibrators that help get the job done, to find it manually, insert one or two fingers into your vagina, palm facing down, and curl your fingers back. When you start to feel stimulated , you've hit the jackpot.
Your clitoris and G-spot may be the main events during masturbation , but paying attention to the rest of your body can enhance your experience, Cleman says.
“Run your hands all over your body, as your partner would do, and give attention to your breasts, hips, and other areas where being touched turns you on ,” she suggests. “Like sex, masturbation will be more fulfilling if you make it a full-body experience.”
Bringing your legs together just as you’re approaching orgasm will make masturbation (and sex) more pleasurable. Cleman says doing so increases stimulation to the clitoral organ, which is actually six to eight inches long, on average. "[It] will give a sudden boost to your sensations, and can push you over the edge immediately," she says. "Just don’t do it too early when your body can’t p
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