Girls Like Small Dicks Tumblr

Girls Like Small Dicks Tumblr
Corsets Are the Summer Trend You Need Right Now
The 26 Best Beauty Gift Sets for Every Budget
Beyoncé’s New Album Is Here—Everything to Know
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Khloé Shares First Look at Her Baby Son's Birth
Why Leo Is Ready to Date Someone Over 25
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Leo DeCaprio Is 'Taken With' Gigi Hadid
Taylor Swift Masters Fall Style in Chic LBD
Meghan and Harry Have Left the U.K. Officially
Shakira Is Making Music and Having Her Say
Meghan Requested Meeting With King Charles
Priyanka Shared Rare New Pic of Malti
Why Meghan and Harry Are Leaving the U.K. ASAP
The Queen's Corgis Take a Walk Before Her Funeral

Every item on this page was chosen by an ELLE editor. We may earn commission on some of the items you choose to buy.

Enrique Iglesias recently boasted about having a tiny...well, you know. Oddly, he's not the first big star to brag about a little package
When Enrique Iglesias boasted about having a tiny...well, you know...it kind of actually impressed us. (Refreshingly honest, right?) But he's not the first. From Shia LaBoeuf to Howard Stern, here are more big stars who cop to having less than huge packages.
His father may have crooned about all the girls he loved before, but Enrique Iglesias has a more modest approach. During an interview on Australian TV years ago, the 41-year-old singer delivered a humble brag for the ages when he claimed, "I have the smallest penis in the world." He wasn't joking. (In 2005, Iglesias gave an interview to the Houston Press in which he made a similar boast: "The next product I'm gonna put my name on is extra-small condoms. I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it's really embarrassing for people—you know, from experience.") As if that weren't honest enough, Iglesias told the astonished Aussie audience, "I don't even last eight minutes now."
For years, Howard Stern has made fun of his own member, famously declaring he was "hung like a pimple." In a 1994 Rolling Stone cover story , the magazine asked Stern about his surprising honesty: "I think I might as well be up front about it," he replied. "No guy will ever admit to having a small penis. I just went on the record. I might be one of the smallest guys in the world." Stern also revealed that at one point he'd wanted his book Private Parts to be titled Penis "because I thought if it went onto The New York Times' best-seller list, it would be `Howard Stern's Penis. ' And they'd have to write `Howard Stern's Penis is No. 1.'"
He's friends with a guy named Wee Man, but Jackass star Johnny Knoxville also claims to be one. "I have a penis like an egg in a nest," he told Rolling Stone in 2001. "It looks like a light switch. Seriously." But even little ones can have big problems. In 2010, Knoxville confessed to Vanity Fair about the injuries he's sustained doing his various Jackass stunts. "I broke my penis about three years ago trying to back-flip a motorcycle," he admitted. "So that didn't help its appearance—although it's pretty cute."
After divorcing Tom Arnold in 1994, Roseanne Barr went on Saturday Night Live and revealed that her ex had a three-inch penis. Fortunately, Arnold had a good sense of humor about it and delivered the perfect comeback—"What's small?" he asked. "Hell, even a 747 looks small if it lands in the Grand Canyon." Several years later, he made peace with the incident in his memoir, How I Lost Five Pounds in Six Years : "My penis is fine," Arnold wrote. "Maybe because I undersell it. If someone expects petite and gets medium, they're impressed."
While discussing how he lost his virginity in a 2009 interview with Playboy , Shia LaBeouf overshared about being underwhelming. "I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie," he told the magazine. "It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn't get in correctly. I'm not extremely well-endowed...and clearly this wasn't the move."
During an appearance on Inside the Actor's Studio , the British comedian spoke pretty frankly about his endowment: 'I don't want to go into it but I'm not built, its average, I'm 5 foot 8 it's in proportion, don't worry about it." He then continued, "I'd look weird with a foot long knob wouldn't I? It'd be ridiculous, also I'd faint if I got an erection as all the blood would be in there. It's fine, it's fine, really it's average."
One more for good measure: Ever since it was removed during an autopsy in 1821, Napoleon Bonaparte's penis has been the stuff of legend. And not for the right reasons. When the French emperor's tiny scepter went on display in a New York exhibition in 1927, Time magazine reported that it resembled a "shriveled eel." According to Tom Perrottet, author of Napoleon's Privates , it was eventually purchased by John Lattimer, a New Jersey doctor who collected odd relics, but he never displayed it. After Lattimer's death, his daughters finally showed Perrottet the puny prize. "It was kind of an amazing thing to behold," he told NPR in 2008. "There it was: Napoleon's penis sitting on cotton wool, very beautifully laid out, and it was very small, very shriveled, about an inch and a half long. It was like a little baby's finger."

Bushwick Daily

Bushwick Daily

“It’s little dicks, not micro-penis,” the reporter from Gothamist was told outside of Kings County Saloon just before the event started
When you login first time using a Social Login button, we collect your account public profile information shared by Social Login provider, based on your privacy settings. We also get your email address to automatically create an account for you in our website. Once your account is created, you'll be logged-in to this account.

new follow-up comments
new replies to my comments

When you login first time using a Social Login button, we collect your account public profile information shared by Social Login provider, based on your privacy settings. We also get your email address to automatically create an account for you in our website. Once your account is created, you'll be logged-in to this account.

Newest
Most Voted

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

“It’s little dicks, not micro-penis,” the reporter from Gothamist was told outside of Kings County Saloon just before the event started. And it seems that the distinction between the two is what makes Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis Pageant what it is: a little joke with a lot of pride.

This was the third year for Brooklyn’s most idiosyncratic and irreverent pageant, and based on the crowd that was lining up to pay $10 to see some small dick (when a few probably could have just stayed home and looked in a mirror), it was an outstanding success.

Once again, Kings County Saloon was selling “Penis Coladas” with plastic dick straws to the 100+ crowd of mostly women, many of who seemed pretty eager to be close to the stage when the little fellers made their big debut. When resident drag Queen Chicken Bitches , dressed in her finest, most sparkly and cumbersome Jedi attire (this year was Star Wars themed), asked the audience if they were here to hate or celebrate, they exuberantly shouted, “celebrate!”

Seriously, why doesn’t every bar in Brooklyn have a resident drag Queen? There are certainly enough of them living here. The only answer that I can come up with is that every bar owner and manager in the borough are well aware that no Queen can MC like the witty, cheeky and downright hysterical Chicken Bitches.

After Chicken Bitches warmed up the crowd, out came the competitors in see-through tuxedo-speedos. Two of them were returning for a second shot at the crown, a Mr. Rip Van Dinkle and The Puzzlemaster. The former won the first pageant, whereas the latter was a close runner-up last year . The other contestants, a well-tatted and rotund Chino Loco, the shy and endearing Gentleman and the Tecate-wielding Cromwell all seemed to have a shot at the title when the show started, but after the introductions and pageant walks, it seemed like the bout could only favor one man: The Puzzlemaster.

From the start he brought a flair and confidence that the other contestants struggled to deliver. He had a handful of jokes (last year he lost only by the “smallest margin”), and went all out during the cocksplash segment, when one lucky young woman was invited onstage to spray the dancing contestants with a squirt gun. I knew better from last year than to get too close to the stage. The Puzzlemaster also killed it with a Shirley Bassey cover renamed, “Golddinger.”

So when the Puzzlemaster was crowned and handed the scepter (a toy light-saber tipped with a plastic dick) along with $500 in cash, few people could be surprised. True, The Gentleman delivered a heartfelt poem that made the ladies in the crowd swoon, Chino Loco presented a hilarious and deeply traumatizing striptease in a Stormtrooper outfit, Rip Van Dinkle dropped a poorly timed but amusing rap, and Cromwell killed it with a Braveheart-level rousing speech about orgies in America, but nobody delivered the sincerity and cocksured-ness of The Puzzlemaster.

Confidence, it seems, is truly the key to winning the hearts of Ameri- er- Brooklyn.

I’m much smaller than the winner! Soft 0cm, hard 2cm!

The latest news, articles, and resources, sent to your inbox weekly.

© 2021 Bushwick Daily LLC. All rights reserved. Powered by Indiegraf Media .

Edition US UK Australia Brasil Canada Deutschland India Japan Latam
California residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.
This image charts women's penis-size preference on a technical scale from "ideal" to "not satisfying."
If you feel strongly about this topic, you can also participate in the vast penis-size debate forum .

Déjà vu! We already have this email. Try another?
Déjà vu! We already have this email. Try another?
Déjà vu! We already have this email. Try another?
Thanks for subscribing! Look out for your first newsletter in your inbox soon!
We uncover the best of the city and put it all in an email for you
Déjà vu! We already have this email. Try another?
By entering your email address you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receive emails from Time Out about news, events, offers and partner promotions.
Thanks for subscribing! Look out for your first newsletter in your inbox soon!
Our newsletter hand-delivers the best bits to your inbox. Sign up to unlock our digital magazines and also receive the latest news, events, offers and partner promotions.
Déjà vu! We already have this email. Try another?
By entering your email address you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receive emails from Time Out about news, events, offers and partner promotions.
Déjà vu! We already have this email. Try another?
By entering your email address you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receive emails from Time Out about news, events, offers and partner promotions.
Thanks for subscribing! Look out for your first newsletter in your inbox soon!
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
2014 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant
The city’s least visually impressive pageant is back with some more truly tiny tiddlers
Apparently, the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant is a grower. The second annual event drew a fat line that stretched halfway down Seigel Street in Bushwick this past Saturday, and those who were lucky enough to fit into the diminutive Kings County Bar were treated to MC Chicken Bitches' sweet and sharp tongue, great music and the effervescence of burlesque performer Cherry Pitz. The main event, of course, was the interaction between the audience, judges and those boys brave enough to bare their modest members. Judges this year included L.A. talk-show host Caroline Fox, sex educator Kendall McKenzie and Bobbie Chaset, the owner of Kings County Bar and mastermind behind the pageant.
RECOMMENDED: Full coverage on the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant The pool of contestants were whittled down to five after a casual screening process, with the lucky (or unlucky, depending on your point of view) finalists comprising of the somewhat twisted Puzzle Master, the cocky Rufio, returning contestant the incognito “Peter Parker,” all-American blond “Twig N’ Berries" and the benevolent Indian “Raj Kumar.” The group were then asked such revealing questions as their favorite sexual position and their responses were saucily evaluated by the judges. Extra points were handed out for originality (and in some cases, their appreciation of cunnilingus). During this hard-hitting opening round, Raj Kumar got points knocked off for being too cutesy, while Peter Parker—the only masked contestant this year—played the awkward wacko card to great effect. Charisma, wit and sweetness, however, won out over showboating or a pretty face. Astoria comedy band Afterbirth Monkey provided intermission entertainment with songs about—you guessed it—penis size, complete with plastic penis water guns and balloon-art dicks. Once the second round of judging was underway, the guys paraded across the bar wearing dainty mesh tangas. Though always fully covered, this costume change revealed the family jewels most clearly, and honestly, Rufio might as well have been disqualified for not being nearly small enough. Cherry Pitz graced the bar top with two intermission burlesque sets, which provided an appetizer for the talent portion of the afternoon. The Puzzle Master performed a surprisingly smooth tease and tuck routine, which won him high scores with both the judges and the audience. Peter Parker broke a sweat with a characteristically awkward but high-spirited break-dancing number, dressed head to toe in a Spider-Man costume. Rufio read punny jokes from his iPhone with surprising charm, while Twig N’ Berries sang an uncomfortable, flat-falling duet with Cherry Pitz, then tried to get the audience back with some yoga moves. Raj Kumar donned a traditional Indian costume and displayed his agility in a Bollywood-tinged dance routine that seduced judge Caroline Fox, who joined him onstage for a bump and grind. As ever, the act with the lowest score won, and audience favorite and New Delhi native Raj Kumar—a 28-year-old Fulbright scholar who lives on the Upper East Side and works in digital advertising—romped away with the win. Last year’s winner, Nick Gilronan, returned to the stage to present Kumar with the glitter encrusted, penis-spired crown amidst a terrible stench of sewage, which, by all accounts, is a pageant tradition (we didn’t feel like enquiring further). Kumar seemed genuinely touched at the turnout and oddly proud of his new title. See all the photos of the event in the slideshow above (very much not NSFW), or check out the photos from last year's pageant right here .
By entering your email address you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receive emails from Time Out about news, events, offers and partner promotions.
Thanks for subscribing! Look out for your first newsletter in your inbox soon!
By entering your email address you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receive emails from Time Out about news, events, offers and partner promotions.
Thanks for subscribing! Look out for your first newsletter in your inbox soon!
By entering your email address you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receive emails from Time Out about news, events, offers and partner promotions.
Thanks for subscribing! Look out for your first newsletter in your inbox soon!

Asian Amateur Tube
Heartbeat Masturbating
Mom Girls Porno Video

Girls Like Small Dicks Tumblr

Report Page