Girls Like Porn
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Girls Like Porn
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This article is more than 2 years old
‘If men and women’s brains respond the same way to erotic imagery, then why do most statistics find men are far more likely to consume porn?’ Photograph: Frederic Lewis/Getty Images
Sat 20 Jul 2019 13.00 BST Last modified on Wed 19 Feb 2020 17.13 GMT
I’m 34 and still a virgin. What’s wrong with me?
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We’re told men are biologically wired to be more sexual than women, but this is junk science used to excuse bad behavior
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Shocking neuroscience news this week, as a rousing new study discovers women have sex drives . Researchers from the Max Planck Institute for Biological Cybernetics in Germany analyzed brain-imaging findings from a wide body of research and found that the “the neuronal response to visual sexual stimuli … is independent of biological sex”. In other words, women and men get just as horny when they look at erotic imagery. These revelations were published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences .
While the conclusion of this study may seem blindingly obvious to most women, it counters previous research which found men were more likely to respond to visual sexual stimuli. The study hypothesizes that this is because of small sample sizes, and because a lot of previous work on the subject relied heavily on self-reporting rather than biological responses. “Female sexuality has quite a lot of stigma around it,” Hamid Noori, one of the study’s senior authors, told the Guardian . “Maybe the main reason is that for the woman there are secondary inhibitory effects that keep them away from expressing what they really feel.”
If men and women’s brains respond the same way to erotic imagery, then why do most statistics find men are far more likely to consume porn? The social stigma around female desire that Noori notes is one big factor, but another obvious explanation is that porn is largely designed by and for men. As sex tech pioneer Cindy Gallop told me over email “any industry dominated by men at the top inevitably produces output that is objectifying, objectionable and offensive to women”. Gallop runs a user-generated videosharing startup called MakeLoveNotPorn, which she says is enjoyed by women and men equally. “So much so, that with those of our MakeLoveNotPornstars who are straight couples, we’ve found it’s usually the woman who’s decided she wants to socially share their #realworldsex, and persuaded the man.”
But enough about porn. What makes this new study important isn’t really what it says about pornographic consumption, it’s what it says about patriarchal control. We’ve been trained to believe men are biologically wired to be far more sexual than women, and this junk science is used to excuse a lot of bad behavior. Women shouldn’t dress “provocatively”, we’re told, because men are visual creatures who are easily distracted and can’t control their urges; if you wear skimpy clothing, you’re asking for it. Indeed, a survey conducted for the Independent earlier this year found that 55% of men in the UK believe “the more revealing the clothes a woman wears, the more likely it is that she will be harassed or assaulted”. Depressingly, 41% of female respondents also agreed with this view.
There’s still a lot of work to be done when it comes to debunking the idea that men’s brains are wired to see women as sex objects, but this study is a good step in the right direction. It’s yet another reminder that the policing of women’s clothing has nothing to do with “biology” and everything to do with society.
On Monday, Mike Pence toured the detention camps on the Texas border . The pictures of caged migrants that were released from this visit were horrific. Also horrific is the fact that Kiara Cervantes, a female US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) officer, who appeared in one of those photos has now become an object of lust. The internet has dubbed her #Icebae and Cervantes seems to be reveling in her new-found fame. She’s posting selfies in her CBP uniform and has started a Twitter account to engage with fans. The CBP has said they are fine with her doing this. As, of course, they would be – having an attractive Latina woman as the face of a racist and inhumane organization is the best PR they could hope for.
New Jersey’s supreme court has finally taken action against a judge who didn’t want to try a 16-year-old rape suspect in adult court because he was a nice boy from a good family. “This young man comes from a good family who put him into an excellent school where he was doing extremely well,” Judge James Troiano said in his July 2018 decision. On Wednesday, the court terminated the judge’s temporary assignment. The court also recommended state superior court Judge John Russo Jr be removed. In 2016, Russo told an alleged rape victim that she should have closed her legs if she didn’t want to be assaulted.
A former University of Toronto medical student convicted of sexually assaulting an unconscious woman simply “availed himself of an opportunity,” his lawyer argued in sentencing hearings . His client couldn’t resist raping the woman because he was so stressed from “leading an exemplary life,” apparently.
The California city voted to un-gender its municipal code on Tuesday. Words like “manhole” will be replaced with “maintenance hole” and “manpower” will apparently be replaced with “human effort”. The code will also use “they” and “them instead of gendered pronouns.
Look, I know penguins have nothing to do with the patriarchy but it’s been a rough week and I think we all need some cheering up. So let’s head to New Zealand where two little blue penguins keep breaking into a sushi restaurant . Police dealt with the “waddling vagrants” on Monday morning but the well-dressed criminals returned just a few hours later. Authorities are now keeping an eye on this fishy situation.
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Apr 14, 2014, 11:12 AM EDT | Updated Apr 14, 2014
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The never-ending debate about women and pornography has led to many assumptions about female sexual desire. A common perception depicted by the media is that women are turned off by porn that is made for men, by men. Advocates for so-called female-friendly pornography—that is, porn founded on mutual respect where the female subject demonstrates true agency in her sexuality—believe that if there were more emotive-driven, personality-based storylines in porn, more women would watch it. However, surprising research on porn patterns suggests otherwise.
Neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam, co-authors of the book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts , conducted research on visual pornography in relation to female sexual desire in an attempt to unlock the secret of our sexual habits. The results of their study found that while most women don’t watch porn, those who do are not watching female-friendly porn but rather the same mainstream, male-targeted, hardcore sites that men view.
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Sure, the internet is home to what feels like infinite porn websites and porn movies, but that can also leave you paralyzed by choice. Or, if you're not into the misogynistic undertones that tend to go hand-in-hand with so much of mainstream porn and need help finding your own happy little safe haven of sexy but not sex ist porn to watch for your next party of one (or with your partner—like vibrators , porn can be enjoyed solo or with company), then don't worry because we have you covered.
Contrary to some of the backwards, reductive stereotypes out there, it is not just men flocking to porn websites. According to a 2019 study, a full 31 percent of women are now clicking for kicks of their own. Need more stats and data to back this common sense fact up? Pornhub reported that, in 2020, women made up 35 percent of the site's visitors worldwide, which marks a three percent increase over the previous year. The moral of the story: Women have always watched porn and now, thanks to the internet, they're watching more of it than in years past.
But what if you're feeling frisky, but know that you're more than a little picky about your porn selections? Pornhub might be the reigning king of internet sex watching, it's certainly not the only name in the game. Below, check out our curated list of under-the-radar, female-friendly porn sites worth opening up an incognito tab for.
COST: Free for some video access; starting at $9.99 per month for plus.
PinkLabel celebrates independent filmmakers who want to explore every desire imaginable. Whatever you're into, there's probably a (very well-made) film for it on this website, which also offers a selection of free films so you can get a taste for what you're signing up with if you go for a membership.
COST: Free for some videos; from $9.99 per month for plus access.
CrashPad Series offers beautifully-shot, LGBTQIA+ narratives, with gorgeous cinematography that celebrates all bodies. It's the kind of sexy, inclusive representation that's missing in other mainstream porn.
There's everything under the sun on SinfulXXX, but unlike other porn tubes, the quality of the filmmaking is outstanding. Whether you're looking for gentle and passionate scenes or sweaty and dirty ones, there's an artfully shot film for you.
Like other porn sites, there's a mix of everything on this website. But unlike others, it's curated based on recommendations from real female viewers, so there's a lot more female gaze going on under tags like "Amateur" or "Vintage." It's a huge selection in one place.
COST: Access packages range from $1 per day to $7.95 per month.
GirlCore is a rising star in female porn, and for good reason: The site has very high standards when it comes to production value, a mix of silly, energetic videos that offer a spin on porn tropes and romantic, sensual films that are more reminiscent of other female porn sites.
COST: $19.95 to sign up, $9.95 a month after, with other rates for individual videos.
Bright Desire bills itself as a "celebration of sex" that aims to provide ethical, sexy, smart filmmaking that "move[s] beyond the old cliches" of porn. The films often feature real couples or sexy solo videos, there's high-quality production and genuine storytelling for whatever kind of porn you're interested in watching.
Sometimes the best porn isn't watched—it's heard. Quinn is an audio-only porn site that caters to women listeners with a variety of steamy, fun categories. Look for audio stories that revolve around everything from "accents" to "butt stuff," and picture whatever works for you .
The site hosts a variety of pornographic content and describes itself as a "smart and sexy erotic destination for women, by women. It also brags that Parks and Rec alum Rashida Jones has named the site's founder, Angie Rowntree, as one of her favorite female porn makers—you know, if you like your porn to come with a celebrity endorsement.
A Dusk subscription gains you access to "unlimited porn for women" as well as sex lessons. The site promises that new videos are added daily, which means your subscription becomes more valuable every single day you have it.
This isn't a traditional pick, but we're including it anyway because good sex-ed is always sexy. Vivid-Ed is a division of Vivid Entertainment, but the site itself is run by sex educator and podcaster Tristan Taormino and promises to bring visitors "sex ed videos that are smart, sexy, educational and entertaining."
COST: Free trial, then $12.99/month or $59.99 for the year
Another entry into the exciting world of audio porn, Dipsea is a female-founded startup that focuses on storytelling to get you in the mood. Search stories by the pairing you're interested in, which are inclusive and come in a variety of scenarios (Her + Her stories, Her + Him stories, and Her + Them stories). And if you're feeling especially adventurous, Dipsea also accepts voice recordings from audio stars of the future. Plus, they have other stories that focus on wellness more generally, in case you're in a mood but not the mood.
COST: Free, but with premium content that costs as little as $8.33/month (opens in new tab) to access.
If you love sites like Pornhub because they're free and full of sex amateur-generated content, but wish they could just be fully female-friendly, then Bellesa is the site you (and your loins) have been yearning for.
COST: From $1 per day to $25 per month
Already a fan of the scripted films over at Bellesa? On their sister site, fan-favorite performers go off-book and tell the filmmakers who they're crushing on. Interviews are set up, and if everyone is down with everyone else, the cameras roll on their sexual encounters. It's a novel take on female porn with a sexy uncertainty and consent-focused approach that makes watching exciting and comfortable.
If you're looking for real-world sex with real bodies and real emotions, it doesn't get more real than Make Love Not Porn. The site bills itself as "the world’s first user-generated, human-curated social sex video-sharing platform." And yes, social sex means that the videos on the site some from real, regular people—not porn production companies. MLNP welcomes video submissions from adults of all ages (18 and over, obviously), genders, races, and sexualities.
Sounds of Pleasure is a simple, easy to navigate Tumblr dedicated to, as the name implies, sex sounds, including dirty talk, audio of people having sex and masturbating, and more.
COST: Plans starting from around $8/month (pro-rata).
The site features orgasm and confession vides from around the world and is updated at least five times a week. Beautiful Agony is also an ethical erotica source and promises that all contributors on the site have volunteered to appear and are paid a fee for doing so—they're also paid bonuses each time you watch or download their videos. A subscription gives you access to the site's full archive.
COST: You pay per minute (opens in new tab) with blocks of minutes starting at $2.95 for 10 minutes.
Good Vibrations After Dark is a feminist porn on-demand service from sex toy brand Good Vibrations. "We are proud to feature filmmakers and performers who are committed to pleasure, diversity, and serious fun," Jackie Strano, the company's executive vice president, explains (opens in new tab) .
COST: Staggered memberships, from $34.99 a month for a month-to-month membership to $143.40 a year for a yearly subscription.
The answer for women who crave real, intimate porn that's not just a male gaze-y tangle of limbs and orifices, XConfessions was created by awesome women who wanted an outlet for porn that's ethical (opens in new tab) and diverse. The member-only site provided a grant to 10 female directors to film their sexual fantasies and the response was a series of short porn videos shot with a sensual, emotional approach to great sex (and did we mention how cinematic they are?). Grab the popcorn and a vibe.
Cost: Erotic stories are free to read, and subscriptions are available for video.
This site has everything you could ever want when it comes to erotic content. It has stories, videos, and even audio porn (bite-sized erotic stories you can listen to). The films are made in-house and 100 percent ethically made. They are as founder and director, Anna Richards, says, made by someone who loves film-making with actors who actually want to work together. This is your one-stop shop for all things sexy.
COST: Several packages, starting at $35 a month.
Ersties is a Danish-run erotica site that's by women and for women and feels like what you would get if a porn site were also an online haven for female friendship and solidarity. The bodies are all natural, the orgasms are all real, and the site is truly a breath of fresh air.
Formerly known as TrenchCoatX, this site offers truly incredible content that spans the sexual menu. From gang-bangs, to romance, to rough sex, there is something for everyone. It features a ridiculous amount of high res videos with a wide arrange of actors and sex acts. It playfully calls itself “curated smut.”
COST: Roughly 14 cents a minute—but larger packages come with free minutes and new users get 20 free minutes to try out the site.
As the name suggests, this one's for us. Endorsed by postfem mag Bust, this site presents a mind-boggling 65,000 movies. All can be viewed full-screen, in good quality. The best we saw was a classic from '70s porn auteur Roberta Findlay—there's just something about a burly, hairy man in massive aviators and head-to-toe Wrangler....Sorry—TMI?
Remember when Tumblr had all the best porn, only to be SAVAGELY taken down? Well, New Tumblr is here to bring back all your wildest fantasies of yesteryear. (RIP Tumblr though).
Founded by Elle Chase, Lady Cheeky is a pop-art style porn page that offers a wide range of GIFs and clips of erotic scenes and art. These bite-sized porn moments are kind of the ultimate foreplay tool. It'll get you going, we promise.
COST: Various plans, starting at $39.95 a month.
Like the name suggests, X-Art offers members a collection of truly beautiful and, well, artistic, erotica. The site's videos are all HD quality and the offerings include a range of erotic pleasures, from standard couple sex to threesomes, toy play, and beyond.
This site makes Nora Roberts look like Dr. Seuss. With hundreds of free erotic stories, there's something for every fetish (alien sex, anyone?). Think you can do better? Let your inner Jenna Jameson run wild and submit your own typed porn. Bonus: If you're tired of "BrickBreaker," click on free games and play "XXXMan," where a not-so-coy Ms. Pac Man type chomps up tiny penises instead of ghosts. Talk about a man-eater!
One-stop shopping for porn geeks. As if 15,000 reviews of 48 varieties of porn (and space for you to submit your own critiques) weren't enough to keep you busy, th
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