Girls Fingering Their Self
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Girls Fingering Their Self
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Real talk: just about everyone masturbates , but very few people talk about it. Here, 23 young women share masturbation stories. They get super candid about why they do it, what they'd wish they'd known in their teens, their first-time experiences with self-pleasure, and more.
"Masturbation is nature’s sleeping pill." - Gretchen
"Self-pleasure is not dirty nor is it wrong to feel horny . They're your emotions, urges, and inclinations. It is your right — and privilege — to explore them. It's also okay to feel scared when faced with something new and unknown. The most important thing is to create a relationship with yourself and your body that is just for you and no one else." - Polly
"My mom is a sex therapist, and the day I got my period, I didn’t get the sex talk. I got the masturbation talk. I’ll never forget it, because it was humiliating. She told me that my pleasure is my right, and that if I have urges, I shouldn’t be ashamed of them. It’s natural and healthy for you. She told me I shouldn’t have sex until I know exactly what my body likes, otherwise I’ll be dependent on other people to figure it out, which isn’t fair for anyone since we’re all different." - Sarah
"I wish I knew that other girls masturbate, too! And that no matter what way you do it, it's not weird! Most girls don't open up to their friends about that stuff until college, unless you have the occasional freaky camp friend." - Lindsay
"To be honest I started masturbating pretty early in maybe the 5th grade...I think my mom figured it out and she had the sex talk with me. I was really lucky because the only thing she said about it was that it was private and OK, but that she didn't want to know about it and that I should keep it to myself. If I didn't do it, I’d get pretty fidgety...For me it was more than a sexual identity thing; it was a stress reliever." - Laura
"I wish I knew that girls were masturbating as much as the guys (OK, maybe not as much but still). I also wish it was OK to talk about it." - Elizabeth
"I definitely discovered masturbating at a young age. I was about 12 and knew that for whatever reason, I could touch myself in a certain spot and feel all kinds of incredible in a way I had never felt before. And I felt very confused about why, and never spoke to a friend (honestly) about masturbating until I was in college. But once I started talking about it with a few friends, it felt SO GREAT ! It felt liberating." - Ruthie
"When you're ready to become sexually active, masturbating and learning what makes you feel good will help." - Allie
"I wish I weren't too embarrassed to talk it over with friends. I thought I was the only one who ever did it but turns out I wasn't!" - Kylie
"Masturbating was one of the best stress relievers I've ever discovered. Not only that, but it gives you the opportunity to explore and figure out what you like. Knowing myself helped me communicate better to my partners later on, and made everything else less stressful !" - Kirsten
"When I was in high school, I went to Spencer’s Gifts at the mall and made them gift wrap a vibrator because I was too embarrassed to admit I was buying it for myself. But guess what? Female masturbation isn't embarrassing or gross, and it’s also not embarrassing or gross to have a vibrator or dildo. When you get to college, you'll actually start talking to other women about this. There’s a whole world of liberation out there." - Maddie
"If you’re really hung up on being judged, consider this: the people whose opinions matter masturbate, too." - Jenna
"We all deserve to unwind, and masturbation is a perfectly innocent and healthy way to do that. I suffer from severe anxiety, and have trouble falling asleep at night. My therapist recommended masturbation as a tool for coping." - Lauren
"Well, I just think it’s stupid that guys can talk about masturbation and it can be in PG-13 movies, but when women talk about masturbation, it's like WHOA TMI. What? I don't feel like being apologetic about my sexuality and that kind of attitude implies that my body is just there for someone else's pleasure and not my own." - Jennifer
"Before/during the early years of my sexual activity, I thought that masturbation meant fingering yourself. It felt awkward and didn't bring me any pleasure. I was confused and discouraged from trying again. It wasn't until years later that I understood the importance of the clitoris — both in pleasuring myself and being pleasured by someone else." - Katie
"I wish the idea of masturbation wasn't so repressed. I always wondered why it was accepted as "normal" for guys and taboo for girls. Now I understand it as completely healthy (and fun!) and it totally goes along with the mindset of needing to love yourself before anyone else can." - Fiona
"I used to lie and tell people I didn’t masturbate if the topic ever came up. But I was masturbating, and I realized that everyone else who says they don’t do it are probably lying, too. I don’t know why masturbating is so taboo. What’s wrong with feeling good and why do we care?" - Megan
"I thought I was the only girl who did it. I went to Catholic school , so nobody talked about it ever. I thought there was something wrong with me, but it turns out it’s normal and everyone does it and it’s not weird!" - Molly
"I thought girls never masturbated and I was the only one! And that I was gross and weird for it. I wish I knew that as a woman I was allowed to have a sex drive." - Danielle
"The clitoris is your friend." - Erica
"I read somewhere that masturbation actually helps get rid of period cramps. My period cramps are pretty bad, so the next time I got them, I tried it. It works." - Marina
"The first time I masturbated it was kind of by accident. I was probably about 14, and I was in the bathtub playing around with the shower head and the water hit that area and I was like, whoa, this feels good. I definitely felt awkward about it, and didn't tell anyone about my newfound hobby. Ten years later, and I feel far more comfortable about masturbation and my body. It's totally normal, it feels good, and it doesn't hurt anyone, so what's the big deal? I'm still not going to shout it from the rooftops that I do it, but I can talk openly with my best friend or boyfriend about it if the topic arises." - Emily
"I'm not going to lie: I was a bit of a late bloomer in the sex department. I didn't really know how to give myself an orgasm, and it was actually my mother that bought me my first vibrator. I didn't ask for it, for the record. I had already moved out and was living in my own apartment, and she sent one over from Amazon. She told me to be on the lookout for something coming in the mail, and we never spoke of it again. It's kind of mortifying, but I also appreciate that she literally ordered a sex toy so that I could get more comfortable with my body and sexual pleasure." - Nicole
"I used to do it in my room after school. No one was home but my older sister, so it was the perfect opportunity. I'd lock the bedroom door and turn on music so I could have some privacy. I would have died if I ever got caught. I still would die now, for the record." - Sarah
This article was first published in 2015
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