Girls Face Sperm

Girls Face Sperm
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Girl Posts Pic With Semen on Face as Revenge, Cheating Payback Against Boyfriend

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By Author Free Britney at
Oct 26, 2016 • Category News
A girl in Tennessee has really raised the revenge porn bar with a graphic photo of herself with semen on her face as a means of taunting.
Taunting the boyfriend she just cheated on, that is, as payback for him cheating on her. Yes, this a real story in the real world we live in.
To call the photo in question “ not safe for work ” feels like a miscategorization of every previous photo described as "not safe for work."
This is not safe for humanity, or basic decency.
If we didn’t feel like you, the reader, couldn’t believe this story was real without the visual, we would have happily left this to the imagination.
It’s just that bad, though. You need to see it, if only so that you can later say that you saw it, and that you’ve officially seen everything.
When it comes to gritty revenge porn, that is.
If you clicked on that, we are truly sorry.
That picture really is worth 1,000 words, right? Or maybe 10,000. There is no shame, no modesty, no holds barred what so f–king ever.
There is only semen. A lot of it in fact.
Honestly, it’s difficult to imagine one’s load containing that kind of volume and covering a surface area that large without extreme precision.
How in the heck do you even … forget it.
It’s also difficult to comprehend why, assuming this is real (but even if it isn’t and she’s pretending it is), she would post it to her Facebook.
Assuming she wanted this story to not only be public domain for the people she knows, but to go viral and make her a global porn star?
Job well done in that case. Mission accomplished.
Her mission was clear – not just in having one or more people (it’s a lot) ejaculate on her, but making sure someone knew why she did it.
The photo was uploaded in Lexington, Tennessee, with the caption, succinctly explaining matters: "Morning’ [sic] Tim, I can cheat Too."
Ouch, Tim. Ouch. That’s gotta hurt, bruh.
One can’t help but wonder what the hell Tim did, or who he did to be specific, to deserve this savage level of payback, but holy f–k.
That’s gotta be … quite something to see this.
Of course, we imagine the pain she feels later in life will far exceed whatever he did to her, but these things are only realized over time.
With perspective, she may one day wish she didn’t take her quest for extreme public shaming of her ex to permanent, NC-17 levels.
The main takeaways from this, kids:
– Don’t cheat on your girl, because you’re going to get caught, and she might just call you out in bizarre public fashion, making it worse.
– If your boyfriend cheats on you, his loss. Don’t retaliate by turning yourself into a human condom and bragging about it. Think big picture.
– As you read this at home, try not to throw up on your computer or mobile device. Just aim away from electronics and fellow humans.
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A facialist recently marveled to me: "Your lines are worse than mine and I am 40 years old!" Which forced me to point out: "I'm not CHINESE." So Asians have better skin. Do they have to rub it in our faces? Segue alert! Enter Lo & Dough, Jezebel's resident beauty product geeks.In the first installment of their column, they tackled the six most common ways people fuck up their lipstick . Recently they told me about an ancient Chinese beauty secret: the semen facial. Since I'm personally going through a reeeeal dry patch (ha!) they both agreed to become whores in the name of pores, Jizzybelles, etc. etc. And in the name of the scientific method, they both found sperm donors named Matt! But how did Creme Le Peen work out for their skin? Find out!
Welcome to "Blushing Snides," a regular Jezebel beauty and makeup feature that will probably change
Cosmopolitan head honcho Helen Gurley Brown once famously advised women to "Spread semen over your face, [it's] probably full of protein as sperm can eventually become babies. Makes a fine mask—and he'll be pleased." Damn, Helen, did that dick make you slap somebody, too? Because we actually tried out your crazy-ass beauty tip this weekend, against all better judgment, and are now here to report back on the Nasty Truth of semen facials. It all started with a few innocent emails:
BDJ: Dude, my skin has been pissing me off sooo bad lately. While I'm the last person in the world to buy into a load of hype, I'm this close to splurging on Creme De La Mer. You should talk me out of it, whether you know anything about La Mer or not. I don't want to pay that much money for something that calls itself a 'miracle broth', and yet I'm so drawn to the promise of amazing skin....
Bite-sized language lessons Babbel's language lessons are created by real language experts to help you converse in real-world conversations.
Lo: Heh, heh... "miracle broth." That sounds like that gross thing we were talking about yesterday. I'll give you ten bucks if you rub sperm into your face and blog about it. I'd totally do it but I'm single.
BDJ: Isn't sperm actually supposed to be good for the skin? I think I read that somewhere... But, knowing my crap memory, it was probably College Humor or some shit. I'll totally do it if you do something else gross and blog about it. There was a rumor when I was in school that if you swabbed your morning pee all over your face (like a toner) it would clear up your skin. I suspect that girls I knew believed it, considering that all of the popular girls at my school kinda smelled like pee. Or it could've been Gap 'Dream'. I dunno.
Lo: Ohhh man. There's this uh, sort of monastic taoist order of sexual nuns in china called the white tigress society. Their whole M.O. is to harvest as much sperm as they can, rub it all over themselves, and apparently not age. I guess it works for them. The part I think is funniest is that they have to go out and "harvest" it. I think we should totally do this. I'll go out and harvest if worse comes to worse. I'm not using pee as a toner though. That's just foul.
BDJ: I just looked it up in google questions (who knew?) and it says that ejaculate contains urea also, so you may be getting the bonus effects of pee, whatever that is. It's like those cleansers, that are ALSO toners! The google also said ejaculate was basically warm sugar water with a little salt, vitamin c, and zinc. You must go forth and harvest.
Lo: How are you going to harvest it? Like in a cup, or in your hand, or fresh-squeezed from the condom, or what? We might have to wait awhile for me to get some. Hopefully I can pull it off within the week. Also, are we applying this like a beauty masque? Haaaahahahaha.
BDJ: Maybe a cup. Def not a condom, those things are full of nasty chemicals. Just let me know when you can get some. The fresher the better, I'm guessing. Since it hardens and flakes. I'm grossing myself out now. Um, I guess like a masque. I give it 10 minutes tops before I get skeeved and go wash it off.
Lo: Yeah, I just had the thought that my ex would probably be willing to donate. I'll buy him a perfect 10 and send him to the bathroom with a coffee mug.
7:35 Lo: I'm getting sperm tonight! Can you? 9:08 Dough: of course 10:58 Lo: Smells bad, burns, thank god I'm wasted. 11:01 Dough: Burns? Shit! Um, he's been drinking, eh. Prolly not good 4 yr skin. 11:02 Lo: Mine too! Plus I had to blow him for science, oops! 11:04: Dough: "For science' sure... 11:06 Dough: My test subject is reluctant. 11:07 Lo: Matt says "Bullshit I did it!" 11:09 Dough: We are both harvesting Matt jizz 11:10 Lo: Do it!!! 11:11 Dough: I'm doing 11:25 Dough: Omg. So gross. It stanks. 11:26 Dough: No burn, just tingles 11:31 Lo: I'm really smooth! 11:39 Dough: I'm bright red. It burns now & I look like a glazed donut. 12:00 Lo: It's like any other mask. I hate masks. Matt and I are still trying to drink away the humiliation... 12:02 Dough: Just think how much we'll have 2 drink once this goes to post!
The semen facial burned the fuck out of our faces, and our skin stayed red and irritated well into the next day. The more we researched into the skin nourishing properties of semen, the further we were convinced there were none.
Helen was right about one thing, semen does contain protein, and as the water in the spunk evaporates the protein is left behind. This does tighten the skin, but only in a ghetto, Queen Helene Peel-off Masque kind of way. Which means the tightening effect is gone once the product is removed. Also, if you consider that semen contains sorbitol (body alcohol), sodium, citric acid, uric acid, and chlorine, the tightening effect that a load to the face provides can be chalked up to drying of the skin. Yes- DRYING. As in, sucks moisture out of. As in, makes you look older. As in, not a moisturizer!
And yes, semen does contain a few trace vitamins and minerals form the body, but the amount is negligible, and there's not proof that those minerals can be absorbed into the skin from the seminal plasma. You'd get better facial nourishment without the Port-A-Potty smell if you were to use a vitamin-enriched moisturizer you could get from a drugstore. Semen also contains Urea and Uric acid, so if golden showers aren't your thing, semen "facials" shouldn't be either. There's probably more piss in jizz then there is magical skin-saving properties. Swallowing spunk isn't necessarily good for you either. If you're so concerned with vitamins and antioxidants, you'd be better off taking a multivitamin like a sane person. I'm sure some fools are gonna come out of the woodwork claiming that sperm is good for women's bodies, but the fact is that there is no scientific proof to back this up, leading us to believe that this is just a lame frat-boy urban legend perpetuated to degrade ladies and fuck up their complexion at the same time.

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Lisa Bowman Monday 14 Nov 2016 3:49 pm
The benefits of drinking semen according to Tracy Kiss
The benefits of drinking semen according to Tracy Kiss https://metro.co.uk/video/the-benefits-drinking-semen-according-tracy-kiss-1358087/ 1358087
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It’s an unconventional start to the day, but this woman swears by gulping down a smoothie every morning, with the key ingredient being… a teaspoonful of sperm.
29-year-old Tracy Kiss has been drinking the interesting concoction for the past month, saying it’s boosted both her mood and her immunity.
The mum-of-two is currently single, so harvests her sperm from her best friend – or rather, he harvests it and delivers it to her up to three times a week.
Tracy – who’s vegan – stores it in tubs in the fridge with the rest of her groceries.
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The mum-of-two from Buckinghamshire then whizzes the batch up into a smoothie, with complementary ingredients such as bananas, seeds and almond milk.
‘I’d been feeling run down and had no energy, but now I’m full of beans and my mood has improved,’ says Tracy.
The personal trainer and qualified nutritional adviser claims that sperm contains lots of vitamins and minerals – including B12, which vegans like herself lack in their diets.
It should be noted that while Tracy raves about her sperm concoctions, medical professionals would argue otherwise.
But GP Dr Sarah Jarvis advises against the use of sperm as a dietary supplement, saying that it is devoid of nutrients.
‘There is absolutely no nutritional value to semen,’ she said. ‘A better way for vegans to get extra protein would be through foods like nuts.’
Nutritional value aside for a moment, just how does this unusual ingredient alter the taste of her breakfast drink?
‘Every batch tastes different, depending on what he’s been eating,’ she reveals. ‘If he’s been drinking alcohol or eaten something particularly pungent like asparagus, I ask him to give me a heads up so I know not to drink it neat.’
‘Things like pineapple and peppermint make it taste better, but I’ll happily take it straight off a spoon usually.’
Tracy says she understands it may seem off-putting – but the results are worth it.
‘People are so weird about sperm when in actual fact a teaspoon is filled with amazing goodness,’ she says.
The single mum is actually no stranger to incorporating sperm into her daily routine – she’s been slathering it on her face since last year, when she discovered it made a brilliant facial , and she now credits it for improving her complexion.
Unsurprisingly, Tracy’s friend and sperm supplier initially had qualms about being her own personal sperm machine.
‘When I first approached him, he was concerned I’d use it to impregnate myself,’ she admits. ‘But once I’d convinced him it was for my beauty regime he agreed – after all, he has a regular supply at hand!’
As for the risks involved? ‘I know he’s healthy, doesn’t smoke, drink or do drugs and I made him have an STI check,’ she says.
‘My other mates think I’m strange, but I don’t give a toss.’
Luckily for Tracy’s pal, she’s keen to find a partner who will take over from him. After three years of being single, she is looking for love.
‘I want a relationship where my partner asks if I want one shot or two shots of sperm in my smoothie each morning!’

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