Girls Being Dominated
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Girls Being Dominated
The TRUTH About Why Strong Women Enjoy Being Forced Into Submission
By The Frisky — Written on Oct 27, 2016
Imagine a woman: She has a college degree and a job, she pays for her own house and car, and she's not intimidated by any man for any reason. She's smart, independent and strong.
Isn’t it a puzzle, then, that she has sexual fantasies of being dominated?
Actually, researchers say, it makes perfect sense. In perhaps the most fun assignment ever, Psychology Today ’s news editor, Matthew Hutson, has been blogging about why strong women fantasize about aggressive lovers. Mmm, do tell!
Way back in 1973, researcher and therapist E. Barbara Hinton interviewed women about their sex fantasies and — surprise, surprise — women said they fantasized being “ forcefully taken .”
She discovered women fantasize about aggressive lovers because it makes the women feel desirable, not because they like being physically hurt or rejected.
In recent years, University of Kansas psychologist Patricia Hawley has picked up where Hinton left off. In April, she published a paper in the Journal of Sex Research that studied how the genders respond to domination fantasies.
Both men and women enjoyed fantasies in which they were dominant, but socially dominant women were actually more turned on than anyone else by submission fantasies.
This led Hawley to probe further. The rationale, her studies seem to indicate, is that ladies don’t enjoy the forcefulness itself as much as the idea that an overpowering passion is bubbling over behind that forcefulness.
A socially dominant woman, in particular, was more likely to fantasize she was sexually irresistible and was turned on by the idea that her partner was so engorged with lust that he was going to burst.
But that’s not all — Hawley has performed yet another study on the subject.
She asked both men and women to read six different versions of saucy vignettes so she could monitor the reactions. Five of the stories had a different sexy theme removed each time. As Hutson at Psychology Today ’s blog wrote:
“It turns out that force was the only element whose removal didn’t significantly reduce the vignette’s appeal, a finding that supports Hawley’s view that forceful submission fantasies are ‘generally construed as an ardent, passionate pursuit rather than force per se.’…For alpha females, apparently, submission is empowering.”
It totally makes sense, doesn’t it? It’s not the legions of women who like to be tied up or who enjoy a swat on the ass are pain-loving masochists — no, aggressive partners make them feel like they’re being lusted after! Men would be wise to figure this out.
Also, Patricia Hawley of the University of Kansas? Call us — we’d love to help you out with your studies! [ Psychology Today Part 1 and Part 2 ]
Originally appeared on TheFrisky.com
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
© 2022 by Tango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved.
The Psychology Behind Submissive Fantasies: Do Women REALLY Want To Be Ravished?
By Adam Sheck — Written on May 19, 2017
As a psychologist and couples counselor, I’ve been asked this question by men, women, and couples for the last twenty years. My specialty is helping couples bring back the passion in their relationship and using fantasy is one way of doing this .
And the fantasy of being ravished, being lovingly, yet forcefully taken by her man is consistently in the top five female fantasies, often the number one fantasy. This is different than the “rape fantasy” which has often been misrepresented .
Of course, women don’t want to be raped; this is an act of violence and power, not one of love . However, as revealed in the always popular romance novels, the fantasy of a strong, powerful man initiating sex with a woman, not accepting her initial reluctance, and then loving her passionately, is a popular fantasy. This is not about abuse and power, as in most of these novels (and fantasies), the couple ends up married and living “happily ever after.”
So what’s the truth here, at least from a psychological perspective? When we first meet someone we’re attracted to we experience that initial chemistry and go into that “honeymoon” period, where our bodies are flooded with chemicals and we are “walking hormones.”
However, this initial chemistry fades over time and we need to take steps to reignite it! To create sexual passion , there needs to be sexual tension and for this, there needs to be strong sexual polarity. We need to consciously create this in our relationship.
Polarity comes from strong masculine energy meeting strong feminine energy. Just like the positive and negative terminals of a battery create electricity, so will the masculine and feminine interact to create passion! Now each of us, male and female have an inner masculine and an inner feminine and either sex can express either aspect.
For the heterosexual female “ravish me” fantasy though, we’re talking about the man embodying the masculine and taking charge with those masculine qualities to be focused, direct, relentless in pursuing his goal, in this case, loving his woman into “submission.” This can range from simply initiating sex, to be a little more assertive than usual, to being more aggressive, to being a little “rough,” all the way to role play and using restraints and sex toys .
To use a simple example, I’m 6’3" and over 200 pounds and have found that many woman have simply enjoyed the weight of my body pressing into them and found that arousing. Perhaps that is enough to begin your journey. I also happen to have large hands (no euphemism here). I’m usually able to hold both of a woman’s wrists in one of my hands and even that small step can often be assertive enough to feed into the submission fantasy. Just consider what YOU can do to orient yourself in that direction, it doesn’t have to be “whips and chains.”
From an evolutionary psychology perspective, women want to know that their man can take care of them, can “hold” them, both emotionally AND physically.
I have a female friend who is close to six feet tall and she LOVES that her husband can physically hold her, pick her up, engulf her and make her feel like she’s a little girl sometimes.
If we believe that “form follows function” than if a man can open a woman sexually with his dominance than perhaps he can also metaphorically open her heart with his dominance. Perhaps there is part of each woman who wants to have her heart ravaged open, even more than her body? Don’t we all want our partner to help open our heart and experience more love?
Now on the flip side, there are times when a man enjoys his partner initiating sex in a more dominant and aggressive way as well. Being stuck in ANY role will ultimately diminish passion. We need to mix it up. But that’s a topic for another day
These are my thoughts about this question, “Do women want to be submissive?” I would love to hear your thoughts and comments about this and any other ideas for bringing back the passion in relationships.
If this article interested you and you’d like to find out more ways to bring the passion back in your relationship, please go to www.freepassiontips.com to receive my monthly newsletter as well as my Special Report, “20 Rituals for Romance!”
This article was originally published at passion101.com . Reprinted with permission from the author.
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
© 2022 by Tango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved.
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