Girlfriend Tricked

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Girlfriend Tricked
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People.com Crime College Student Was Tricked into Sex with Man She Mistook for Boyfriend — and He Was Acquitted of Rape
Abigail Finney fell asleep with boyfriend in his bed, but in a dark room she didn't know that the man who later climbed in beside her was someone else
By Jeff Truesdell December 04, 2018 03:57 PM
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College Student Was Tricked into Sex with Man She Mistook for Boyfriend — and He Was Acquitted of Rape
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Abigail Finney thought she was having sex with her boyfriend.
In his dorm room at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana, Finney had fallen asleep with him cuddling beside her in his loft bed. Elsewhere in the same room, three of her boyfriend’s buddies were crashed on a futon after a casual night that involved a lot of video games and a little drinking, although Finney says she stayed sober.
Later, in a hazy half-awake state, Finney felt a hand from behind fondling her over her t-shirt. Keeping quiet so as not to awake the others in the dark room, she allowed further groping from the man in bed with her, which led to brief intercourse, all the while with her back to him.
The sex ended when Finney said she had to go to the bathroom — and only after she returned, as she started to climb back into the loft, did she realize the man in bed with her wasn’t her boyfriend, but rather one of his friends.
“I remember him grinning at me. It was a freaky image,” Finney told BuzzFeed in a recent article . “I was just kind of — I was frantic. I didn’t know what was going on.”
Her report of the incident eventually led to a rape charge against Donald Grant Ward, who was acquitted earlier this year of any wrongdoing in the February 2017 encounter, reports the Lafayette Journal & Courier .
Under Indiana law that defines rape as an act of aggression or involving an unwilling victim, Ward can’t be convicted just because Finney, who consented to the sex, believed he was someone other than who she thought he was, Ward’s attorney Kirk Freeman told TV station WLFI .
Freeman suggested that some men embrace all sorts of identities to convince women to have sex with them. “[L]ots of women this weekend are going to have sex with Navy Seals, going to have sex with football heroes, going to have sex with guys that rescue kittens from the middle of the interstate, and are going to have sex with men who tell them, ‘I love you,’ and, ‘I’m ready for a commitment,'” he said. “Just because they are lying doesn’t make it rape.”
Freeman declined PEOPLE’s request for comment. PEOPLE also reached out to Finney, who was not immediately available.
The acquittal of Ward has led Finney to advocate for changing rape statutes to allow for the crime of rape by deception or impersonation. She is speaking now about the case in hopes of encouraging that reform.
“I’m less protected than property in the state,” she said in an interview with WLFI . “Like, my body can just be taken and used and it’s not a crime.”
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When Finney first saw Ward lying in the bed she’d just left after having sex, she thought she was being pranked, she told BuzzFeed . She asked about the whereabouts of her boyfriend, and the others in the room said they didn’t know.
She then discovered that the key to her own nearby dorm room was missing. She went there and found her boyfriend, who told her he’d been sleeping in her room for hours.
Finney told him what happened, and after the boyfriend stormed back to his room, Finney says she texted two girlfriends to ask what she should do. “I was like, ‘I feel violated. This feels wrong. But I don’t know if it’s illegal.'”
She was later accompanied by her boyfriend to the hospital and the police station, and Ward was arrested that night. According to an affidavit of probable cause in the case, “Ward indicated he had sexual intercourse with Victim #1 knowing she believed him to be her boyfriend.”
Ward was charged with two counts of rape. But after a three-day trial in which his attorney argued that Ward’s conduct was “ungentlemanly” but not illegal under Indiana law, a jury found him not guilty in January.
Ward was banned for a year from the Purdue campus and is no longer enrolled there.
Finney, after taking off a semester during which she sought treatment for stress and depression, is now back in school, and she and her boyfriend remain together.
Sally Siegrist, a former Indiana state legislator, unsuccessfully tried to reform the state’s rape law in the wake of Finney’s case. “I’m not sure we could effectively legislate all of the cases where somebody lies, because then you get to the point where, OK, the guy said he was on the football team and he’s not,” she said, reports BuzzFeed.
Finney is undeterred in her desire to see change.
“I don’t know if I speak for all women but I definitely, before this happened, have always thought of what I would do, and it was always just, Oh, I would just report it . Snap judgment,” she told BuzzFeed. “But it’s not that easy when it’s real life, because it’s less black-and-white.”
“I was pretty angry” after the verdict, Finney said. “I felt like I’d wasted a year of my life because I could’ve been trying to heal, but instead I was reopening the wound over and over again.”

My girlfriend's friend tricked me into sleeping with her so she could break us up. What can I do?
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My girlfriend slept with her friends before we were a thing. Should I break up?
I am into my best friend's girlfriend and I want her to leave him. How should I get her to leave him, without him knowing it was me?
I found out my girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend when we were broken up for about a month? One year later I found out the truth after asking my former best friend. What should I do?
My girlfriend always threatens to break up with me. Is this normal?
My girlfriend went behind my back and apparently started dating my best friend. What should I do?
I think I may have caused my friend to break up with his girlfriend. What should I do?
I am going to sleep with my girlfriend's friend. How should I tell the friend?
My girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I tried to cheat on her. Everything is just a big misunderstanding. All my friends have turned on me. What should I do?
My friend has feelings for me and is subtly trying to break me and my girlfriend up. What should I do?
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If she actually ‘tricked’ you, as in you had sex with her without your consent, then you were raped. You should report that to the police.
If she ‘tricked’ you is just your way to doge responsibility for cheating then you deserve for your relationship to end and you should see a therapist about your problem projecting your faults onto others.
Seriously? She “tricked” you? What did she do, wear a disguise? Blindfold you? C’mon - you were not “tricked”. You screwed your gf’s friend and don’t want to own it. It was your choice and now you have to be a grown up and live with the consequences. The best thing you can do for your girlfriend is admit the truth - that you had sex with her friend - and let your gf decide how to react to it.

My husband was on a business trip. One of his friends came over one day (he tried to seduce me before) and said he had bad news and couldn't keep it a secret. He told me my husband cheated on me and that I can't let it happen, that I should take revenge. I was so angry and confused and didn't notice him getting closer to me. Then I did the stupidest thing ever: I made a sex tape with him and send it to my husband to get back at him. My husband came home furious and even crying and we started talking. Apparently he never cheated on me and his "friend" just tricked me into sex. We can't contact him on the phone or at his house. My husband is a wonderful man and decided to forgive me. But now there is a huge scar on or marriage and on our sex lives. My self-esteem is reduced to nothing. what can we do?
I got tricked into cheating and regret it very much!
This is classic two wrongs doesn't make a right and to find out that your husband wasn't even cheating has to be like a second slap in the face. This could have very easily been prevented simply because if you could send your husband an explicit tape, then you could have called him to confront him about the allegation. Lets go back to the your husband's friend for a moment. You know he's attracted to you and obviously he considers his friendship with him as expendable and unimportant. He's made passes at you in the past which you declined. He obviously doesn't really care about no one but himself because not only does he not value his friendship to your husband, but he doesn't value or respect your marriage to him. Your husband goes away on business. While gone his friend tells you that he's cheating, so you get upset and rightfully so, but did you ever stop to tell ask him for any sort off proof to back up his claim? Did you even stop to call him to ask his side of the story? Even if there was a possibility that this was true, you should have told the friend to leave while it all sunk in. From that point you should have called your husband to find out if the story has any potential merit to it. If your husband has a history of being faithful and his friend has a history of hitting on you, then you should at the very least given the benefit of the doubt to your husband based on their histories alone. Instead, without confirmation, you make a conscious decision to set up a video recorder, then sleep with his friend, who really doesn't appear to be a friend at all and then send the video to your husband. None of these things should have ever happened. Its good that he forgave you and I seriously hope that the friendship between your husband and his friend has ended, but the scars that your marriage has were by your hands by acting impulsively on emotions and not rationally. From this point, the only thing that can heal your marriage is time. There is no way to magically erase the pain he's feeling, the betrayal, and the broken trust that comes with infidelity. You will just have to weather the storm until he has healed and you're going to have to build up trust with him again, which will most likely take longer than it did initially. Your self esteem will also take time to heal. While medicine can mask physical pain, there's no pill that can mask the emotional pain you both are suffering. All you can do is talk to and be supportive of one another and weather the storm until such a time comes when you all are healed and can put it past you.
You were dumb enough to decide revenge was the best way to solve this issue, and you don't trust your husband more than his mate? You deserve to feel sh*tty, don't feel sorry for yourself, imagine what you did to your husband, because this entire question seems to be about how you were the victim of this and your husband was just collateral damage in your misery. Sorry but all I can think is its a shame a guy nice enough for forgive cheating is wasted on a cheater instead of a decent woman.
Two wrongs never make a right. I don't get why you didn't at least confront him first. Isn't that what a relationship is meant to be about after all.
I have recently learned a new word misogynist, I hope your husband doesn't become one and you don't become a misandrist. I don't know how to categorize your husband for having a huge heart and having big balls to actually being able to forgive you for something like that or if he's a big p**** and didn't have the balls to dump you. I guess, I am not one that could forgive something like this and I think so are you, if you would have then you would never had sex with the other douche in the first place. What you can do for now is accept any decision what your husband is going to make for your marriage. Just don't try to weasel your way out of it and play the victim.
You weren't "tricked". You're dumb and stupid, but don't try to fob the responsibility of your own actions onto someone else. Get therapy for your marriage, and learn to accept that you are god damned moron, and your husband will make all of your important life decisions from now on, because you don't have the common sense of a sea sponge.
Considering marriage, found out she cheated
My girlfriend cheated on me, she regrets now...what should I do?
You didn't trust your husband and took someone's word without actually seeing him cheat? He should leave you. He obviously can't trust you and you didn't trust him when he didn't even do anything wrong. Listening to other people and letting them influence your relationship like that is one of the worst things you can do. You've failed as a wife and no matter what you do, or what your husband says to you, he will NEVER feel the same way about you again. He may try to forgive you, but he will never again have complete confidence in your relationship. What you did isn't fixable.
He tried to seduce you before? Did you tell your husband? This guy obviously isn't his friend and you should have known that. Yet, you still made a horrible decision. I would have left you. You're just going to be "tricked" into sex by someone else if you're that gullible. Your husband deserves better.
Your husband needs to develop better quality friendships. Revenge sex . . . .right you are, the stupidest thing ever. You have a ton of work to do to rebuild your husband's trust. He may not let you out of his sight for the rest of your sexually active life. You are extremely blessed to have such a forgiving man. I don't expect that he'll be as forgiving toward this so-called friend. I would not want to be that guy.
I'll go ahead and say what no one has said yet. The fact that you decided to make a sex tape with your husband's friend means you were already sexual-behavior attracted to his friend, especially if you never told your husband about his friends sexual-behavior advances. I mean, for his friend to even have personal access to you while your husband is away is enough proof that his friend's previous advances had already worked in seducing you. And so part of you almost wanted justification to sleep with him. So when he claimed your husband was cheating you didn't need any proof but his word as your excuse. And now you want to blame the friend for tricking you into sex? Deplorable. So this is the best your marriage can be from now on. You violated the union you pledged to for a moment of pleasure and now you're looking for support by lying to us and yourself. The best thing you can do for your husband is to set him free to find a good woman.
you didn't get tricked, you made a decision. take responsibility for you own actions. I hope he divorces you and uses this tape in the divorce court
You can stop being so gullible. Seems like the normal t
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