Girlfriend Spanking
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Girlfriend Spanking
My girlfriend wants me to spank her. Should I feel guilty?
‘What might seem odd, kinky and guilt-inducing to you would be quite low on any list of sexual peccadillos’: Mariella reassures the worried couple (picture posed by models). Photograph: Yakobchuk Olena/Getty Images
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Mariella says, don’t worry about it. You’d be surprised how many people find slapping, biting and other mild forms of masochism a stimulant to their carnal pleasure
The dilemma I’ve been with my partner for nine months and everything about the relationship has been great – bar one thing. The sex has been wonderful, but she has a thing about wanting me to spank her. At first I laughed, as I thought it was quite an odd request. But it was clear she was serious, and this is where the problem lies. I have spanked her a few times and, though it arouses her, it makes me feel guilty. I feel bad for all sorts of reasons. But I wonder if I’m overreacting: she is far from submissive in day-to-day life and, as she’s said, it’s her choice. This is a difficult subject to write about, and I don’t know if others have similar concerns. I want us to be able to enjoy sex without anxiety, and would appreciate your views. It’s not something I’ve been able to talk about with anyone.
Mariella replies Don’t worry! What might seem odd, kinky and guilt-inducing to you would be quite low on any list of deviant sexual peccadillos. If sex only boiled down to the bare necessities we’d live in a much less exciting world. Slapping, biting and other forms of mildly masochistic fun are not a majority choice, but you’d be surprised how often they feature as an element in carnal pleasure. That’s why the word “consensual” is the most important one in any lover’s dictionary.
I’m not sure there is such a thing as “normal” sex; instead, individual pleasure is as diverse as any display of individuality from food to furniture, clothes to pets. That’s why compatibility is such an important element of any relationship. The positive thing about your current union, despite the scruples you’re experiencing, is that your girlfriend feels comfortable enough with you to articulate her desire. There are many reasons why such an act could be a stimulant for your girlfriend and only a small number of them would qualify as deep, dark, distasteful and worthy of analysis. In sex, as in dreams, we are often hostage to forces and urges that we don’t understand and can’t explain. Sometimes it takes a request like your girlfriend’s to discover an act that excites you too but also the reverse can be true and that’s when you need to be honest about how it makes you feel.
There’s no need to feel guilty and uncomfortable about spanking in the heights of ecstasy if it gives her pleasure and doesn’t cause you pain. There is also no compulsion for you to indulge in actions that you don’t feel comfortable with. The right to choose is paramount and should preside over all our individual actions. What two adults decide to do in the privacy of their own space should really be up to them but let’s also admit it’s where sexual politics can get very complicated indeed. Bringing acts of violence, however small, into the bedroom is a choice you need to make with your head, rather than the parts of your body more involved with copulation. It’s too easy for behaviour deemed acceptable in the height of ardour to change image when lust is no longer the driving emotion between you. Beware the disgruntled lover if sex games have escalated to harder-to-rationalise heights, and always make sure you’re both enjoying the activities. There’s no accounting for tastes and a pretty distinct boundary between unwelcome abusive behaviour and a mild spanking at your partner’s request. I had a girlfriend once who used to joke about her penchant for “light strangulation”, which I found completely baffling. Personally I’ve no wish to push myself closer to the final curtain every time I have sex but there’s clearly a market for that action out there also.
One of my favourite documentaries is Fetishes, Nick Broomfield’s foray into an S&M parlour and the matter-of-fact way in which the participants discussed their bizarre proclivities in such everyday fashion. We live in a great big glorious melting pot of different desires, and every now and again we rub up against someone with whom we share similar tastes. That’s when sex can be at its most exciting but also it’s most troubling, leading you into a crepuscular world where your instincts are your only guide. You’ll get plenty of beard-strokers with theories about why we find such peculiar things titillating – Freudians are particularly expansive on the subject – but sometimes it is just the expression of a physical desire that has no traumatic precedent.
That’s the trouble with rules and regulations about sex: an approved list of dos would be unlikely to include slapping, however light, but you’re not the first person to have been asked to perform such admonishments. It seems barely worth spelling out but we are complicated organisms and our physical desires don’t always sit comfortably in a tidy graph of acceptable behaviour. If you’re uncomfortable with living up to your girlfriend’s requests you must say so, exactly as she has an equal right to express her own no-go areas. Removing slapping from your love-making could see her eventually move on to someone happy to indulge her mildly masochistic tendency, but conversely she might compromise with more “wholesome” sexual adventures if she’s found the right man. Ultimately, the only influence on your decision should be what you’re comfortable with.
If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.frostrup@observer.co.uk . Follow her on Twitter @mariellaf1
You know what happens next young lady!
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The predominate theme of this site is spanking and submissive women. This blog is intended for adults 18 years and older. The purpose of this site is to promote criticism, comment, teaching, scholarship, and research.
All of these young ladies are receiving a well deserved spanking. They can be found on real life spanking . I think some of them thought that a spanking would be easy. I’m sure by now that they are all regretting that decision.
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I had long assumed my life partner would share my kink. At 17, I met my first boyfriend while living abroad. He was 24 and so comfortable with his sexual identity that on our second date he asked whether I had “ever received a severe spanking.”
I need to see more in order to decide if it’s realistic or not good for the handicapped lady who is disabled
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I found out my boyfriend had s** with my sister while I was away at a wedding. I was going to dump him but one of my best girlfriends told me to give him choice...either I leave or he submit to a spanking. He chose the spanking. I told my girlfriend and she told me she spanks her boyfriend a lot. She told me how to go about it. She loaned me the leather belt she uses and told me to make him wear a pair of my panties after I whip him. So that night he came over and I told him I knew he slept with my sister and that I was going to leave him. He started apologizing and begging me and I stopped him. I won't if you submit to a spanking. He agreed to the spanking and thought it was a joke . I ordered him to take off his jeans and bend over a chair in my living room. Then I ordered him to take off his shorts. Once he was bent over I took out the strap and told him to hold on tight and not move. I then stood behind him for a minute and then gave him a swat. You could hear the crack of the belt on his ass a block away. He yelped but I told him to shut up or he'd never get in my pants again. I then gave him 15 more really hard cracks. His ass was bright red. I told him to stand up. I then pulled a pair of my panties from my purse and ordered him to put them on. I told him they were nylon and that would cool him down. Surprisingly he didn't argue but took the panties and put them on. About a week later I came home one night and found him at my house. I told him since he had not called he was going to be spanked. I told him to take his jeans off. H didn't argue and simply said yes I will. Then he pulled his jeans down and to my surprise he had on a pair of my panties.....pink nylon bikinis. We are both the same size so they fit him well. I didn't comment on the panties but told him to bend over the chair and wait for me. I had given my girlfriend back her strap and when I did she confessed she spanks her boyfriend all the time and he likes it. So she gave me a wide leather belt to use. I went back into the living room and he was bent over the chair. I asked him if he was ready for the belt and he nodded. I then gave him five hard strokes and then told him to lower the panties. He wasn't facing me. He pulled the panties down. I then gave him ten more hard swats. I told him then to stand up and face me and when he did to my surprise he had a major b**** . I asked him if he needed to c** and he said yes in a very tight voice. OK I told him. Follow me. I led him into the bed room and told him to lie on the bed. I then ordered him to j*** off in front of me. I'd never seen a guy j*** off and it was really hot. He did it once more for me about 40 minutes later. The spanking changed everything. He now wears my panties most of the time and gets regular spankings. After each one I allow him to c** but only if I can watch.
When a woman spanks a naughty boy, it’s intimate, personal & a special way to bond! I was resided by women & spanked regularly as a “good boy “, to become a better male as I aged! It worked!!! Good luck finding a man who will admit to behaving naughty! Best regards,💥💫, Robert
I'm faithful to my wife,she spanks me weekly because it is a huge turn on for both of us.
Some (most) are fantasy but I've seen it happen 3 times. And they're the ones together
At 16 a family friend started domminng me just for fun at first. I knew better and she knew EXACTLY what to do-"I know how you need it you're too pretty to not be dressed up!" I resisted which meant being spanked. By 17 I had a 32 year old Mommy,and was a cute and passing Trap,subservient except for actual gay s** -I brought it up thinking it would please her. Instead I got THE worst punishment from not only Mommy,but a Professional. An Ebony Woman though closer to my age helped (what I know now) mind break me and was proud to tell me. Then it ended for the most part. I would have Vanilla s** with cute girls and Mommy who was married (for the money) would see me 2 or 3 times a year. I made some bad decisions and did cam s*** work until Mommy both mad,frightened,and into it got me a place to live in the same town as Desiree,the Ebony Queen who kept an eye on me. I had been seeing a gorgeous girl,White and Latina (I'm WHITE) who wasn't shy but I didn't think she'd want to see me walk into the bathroom and have Lita come out no matter how cute. So I ended things. So when I got a package containing a magazine (I like them) I got monthly,a belt and an angry letter saying "Nu uh-I know more than you think-expect me Saturday!" I was-I wasn't sure. I asked R,my Minder-actually friend-who called her. When asked "You DO know what's involved besides the..."YES. He needs me to be her Mommy."
I have not cheated on my girlfriend but she says i need to be spanked to keep me focussed and because ku t gives her relief and pleasure. I don't get severe spankings except for each new season. But those are very severe. She used to make me enema first and then once i was sore she would f.... My ass...... I did not get any pleasure from being penetrated but she feels the main thing is to grant her pleasure. I am on a high if she canes me, but i cannot fully explain why.
Agreed. Someone’s getting off on writing this.
I get spanked by my girlfriend. She doesn't make me wear girls underwear though. I hope she doesn't see your post. I get spanked about every 2 weeks. It keeps me humble. She makes me get undressed, and I have to sit in a chair in her walk in closed for about 20 minutes and think about it. Then she comes in, leads me by the ear out to the bedroom, takes me over her knee and paddles me. It's a long, painful, stinging spanking.
What about your sister? I think she needs a good spanking as well. I recommend spanking her bare bottom until it's bright red. Then make her stand in the corner for half an hour with her pants around her ankles and her panties around her knees.
Your boyfriend is a lucky guy to have you spank him like that. Have you considered other positions? A paddle is pretty effective with him lying over your lap, even if you use it as a warmup before the belt. I've c** on my girlfriend's lap when she spanks me that way. If she wanted to use a belt afterwards as punishment for my 'accident' I'd be okay with that too. It does suck that he cheated on you. I hope he's done with that.
I don't understand why men who have decent partners or soulmates have to cheat on them? Aren't they happy with whom they are with? You have a good heart to give him a chance to be together with you. By your boyfriend to wear your panties is so out of this world and for him cheating behind your back is certainly not a nice thing he has done to you. Then he deserves a good spanking but, no paddles or any thing that can harm him. The key to happiness is to teach and guide him as to what he has done was incorrect. But, if in the event, he does it again , is for you and him as to go your separate ways. But , for me who's experience in a solid relationship can tell you it's so hard to find the right man. I let my soulmate the day he cheats behind my back is the day our relationship to each other ends. I expect from him to be trustworthy with me. I spend time to speak with him just how I feel and my advice to you is to do the same. You will see how quickly he chances and improve in his ways towards you! Good Luck!
I agree. We should always be faithful to our wives. Getting spanked as punishment is not my idea of a good marriage. She only does it when I ask not because of punishment. I generally lead in the marriage but all I see on these sites is submissive men which I don't think is healthy.
My wife spanks me for any wrong doings or not doing my chores. She uses a large wooden paddle and makes me go over her lap. I then have corner time until she tells me to get dressed.
I think many women spank their husband or boyfriend. In former times it was kept private because it didn't coincide with traditional gender roles, but now it is coming out of the closet. My girlfriend uses a wooden paddle that really stings and makes sitting down very unpleasant for the next few hours. We have met two or three other couples where the wife spanks her partner. One of the women said she when she spanks her husband it makes him docile and obedient. Not because he is afraid of her, but because he secretly wants to submit to her. I think this the case with many males. We want our wife or girlfriend to be strict with us when it is called for. Very few of us are interested in extreme BDSM, leather, whips etc., but a lot of us accept that we should have our bottoms spanked when we misbehave - or simply when our partner feels like doing it!
I agree with you. Especially getting a bare bottom spanking for doing dangerous things like speeding or running yellow lights or stop signs. All of which my girlfriend has blistered my bare bottom for and stand in the corner till she says I can get out.
My girlfriend caught me kissing another girl at a party and was furious. She gave me the choice, leave or get a whipping. I agreed to the spanking. The next day she took me to a local s** store that specializes in bondage and made me stand there while bought a strap and a switch and she made sure the sales girl knew who they were for. That night she told me I'd get what
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