Girlfriend At Swingers Club

Girlfriend At Swingers Club

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swinging

8/9/18

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A group of swingers have given a rare and honest insight into the inner workings of the taboo lifestyle, revealing the truth behind people’s common misconceptions.
The Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s “You Can’t Ask That” features different groups of Australians and asks them questions that people want to know the answer to but wouldn’t bring up in a regular situation.
Some of the past participants include former cult members, drag queens, transgender people, strippers and, in the latest episode, swingers.
The participants start off by addressing some of the myths around swinging and swingers parties.
There’s a common misconception that at these parties partners get chosen by everyone putting their car keys in a bowl. Whoever’s keys you pick out is then your partner for the night.
But according to the participants, this rarely, if ever, happens. More often than not partners are chosen on a preferential basis.
“I would much rather have sex with a couple that we have talked with over drinks for an hour than be forced into a bedroom with another person,” Sally from Melbourne said.
Megan, a single woman who is involved in the Brisbane swinger scene, said: “That would terrify me because you don’t really have a choice about who you’re going home with or who you’re hooking up with.”
Megan is known as a “unicorn” in the swinging community because of her single status and said that a lot of couples often look to incorporate another woman in their sex lives.
She said that many people believe women are forced into the swinging scene by their husbands or boyfriends and that the community is just full of “sleazy, old, fat men.”
“The thing is that can be true sometimes because all types of people like to swing,” Megan said. “(It’s) people wanting to explore their sexuality with each other in a couple situation.”
For the people being interviewed the decision to get into swinging was very much a mutual decision between both partners.
Husband and wife Andrew and Sally first got into the scene shortly after their engagement.
“I was only 18 when I met Andrew. He was pretty much one of my first sexual partners,” Sally said.
“As the wedding date slowly crept up on us, I sort of felt the pressure of, ‘I haven’t had any other sexual experiences, I haven’t played with anyone else.’”
She said it was a co-worker that first suggested that just because they were getting married didn’t mean they had to be monogamous.
The couple now regularly attend swingers events together, naming “jelly wrestling” and “the raw lust of it” as some of the most exciting aspects.
Interviewees answered a range of questions like “What are the best sex tips you have learned?” and “What is it like to lose your swinging virginity?” but one of the big ones asked was what it was like to see their partner with someone else.
Jess from Sydney said jealousy is definitely a factor, particularly in the beginning.
“I’m not going to say I don’t get jealous, especially in the early days … because, you know, I compared myself to that girl and I was like, ‘How did she do that?’” she said.
“(But) I think just being able to communicate that with Lawrence has taught me … I don’t have to be jealous. I can just appreciate and love him and love her for what they’re doing. And do it better sometimes.”
Most of the couples agreed that communication between couples was key and a lot of the time seeing their partner with someone else was part of the thrill.
All of the interviewees were very forthcoming with information and the episode didn’t really leave much to the imagination.
While some viewers praised the show as “wonderfully honest” and “very eye-opening,” others weren’t so impressed.
“While I’m cool with people enjoying whatever they like, I actually felt like I was tricked into listening to porn without my consent,” one person wrote on social media.
“Bit ironic really when they were talking up the understanding of consent within the swinging community.”
Another said, “Now I am very broad minded but that needed some serious warnings before it was on. Bit OTT. Love the concept in the right situation.”
“Bit verbally graphic for 9 pm my adult kids. Walked out! … not a prude just saying,” one person wrote.

DEAR DEIDRE: IN the past year, I have had sex with dozens of men – at least ten in one night when a man took me to a swinging club.
I just want to be close to someone and for them to want me.
I am 38 and I have a partner who is 39. We have been together for 15 years.
Apart from a couple of boyfriends when I was in my teens, my partner is the only guy I have had a proper relationship with.
The trouble is he drinks at least ten cans of beer a night. He might then start on vodka as well. He always drinks alone.
When he returns home from work all he does is drink, cook and eat, then goes upstairs to bed.
He is completely in denial about his drinking and the impact it is having on our relationship. He doesn’t think he has a problem.
Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org . Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
We have had no sex life or any intimacy, including kissing or holding hands, for 12 years.
Despite this I have had no affairs or liaisons of any kind until a year ago.
Last New Year I was feeling rejected and sad about how my life was turning out. I started going out and picking up men in bars and clubs.
I began having multiple one-night stands, taking more and more risks.
My partner knows what I am doing. He said he was angry and upset at first but then thought that, because he couldn’t give me sex, it was OK.
He told me to be careful about who I met but said he didn’t want to know any details.
I tried to explain to him that I just want to be close to someone but he won’t talk about it.
I have become depressed about my situation but I worry that, if I leave, it may kill my partner.
I couldn’t have that on my conscience. I don’t see a way out where we will both survive.
DEIDRE SAYS: How sad this is for you both, and how dangerous, too.
Your partner is steadily killing himself with his alcohol addiction and you are putting yourself at terrible risk.
Try to see that staying with your partner isn’t saving him.
Freeing yourself from this grimly stuck relationship could help him realise change is possible.
Tell your partner you are no longer willing to be complicit in his steady demolition of himself and of your love and start making practical plans to leave.
WOMEN can lack confidence when it comes to knowing how to turn a man on or make the first move sexually.
My e-leaflet How To Thrill A Man In Bed explains some approachable tactics. For a copy, email me or message me on my Facebook page.
I hope that makes him decide to change. He should talk to his GP and contact Drinkline (0300 123 1110).
There are no magic wands but the right support could help you start to
value yourself more so you can end this self-destructive casual sex.
My e-leaflet Hooked On Casual Sex? can help. And find local support at adfam.org.uk .
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Everything You Need To Know About Swinging

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It’s Friday night, you’re going on your usual date night with your favorite woman in the whole world. She’s wearing that black dress that makes you want to rip it off as soon as you see her, and she hints in your eat that’s maybe not wearing any underwear. You order a bottle of wine, wait for your appetizers and flirt with one another seductively under the table. After the meal is complete, you head to a bar where you meet another attractive couple.
The female half of the relationship is beautiful, like your girlfriend, but she’s different: Where your lady is petite and fit, this woman has long leg and red hair, a trait you normally wouldn’t go for, but hey, sometimes it can be sexy. As you both chat and catch-up, the conversation turns a bit R-rated. Yep, you're both flirting — and before you know it, you’re giving the signal to your girlfriend that it’s time to go home… and take the other two with you.
When you’re in a swinging relationship, this might be a normal weekend tradition that adds a bit of spice, character and non-monogamous touches to your relationship. While it requires an active participation from both you and your partner, when there is consent going in each direction, you can explore, engage and learn so much more about your sexual preferences and desires by sleeping with other people.
“Swinging, which is sometimes referred to as ‘the lifestyle,’ is a form of ethical non-monogamy where both partners consent to a non monogamous relationship with agreed upon rules to keep the primary relationship healthy, sex and relationship therapist Courtney Geter , LMFT says. “Swingers are typically heterosexual couples and individuals with a variety of forms of ‘swapping’ or exchanging partners.”
If you’re curious about giving swinging a chance — and possibly talking your partner into the idea of it — the experts share everything (and yes, we mean everything!) you need to know about this type of romantic lifestyle arrangement:
Just as Geter explained above, swinging is a form of polyamory where your sexual inhibitions extend way past the bedroom and from your committed partner and include bouts of sexual play with other willing partners. Sex expert, psychologist and author, Dr. Jess O’Reily is the host of PlayboyTV’s show, Swing where each episode follows the story of a newbie couple that is considering the possibility of swinging for the very first time.
She introduces them to a group of experienced swingers and walk them through their very first experience. Although she leave before the real fun goes down, she returns the morning after to check in and support them through a debriefing. With her vast experience talking to swinging couples, she says that there is no universal definition of "swinging" because each couple sets their own rules. However, it is different from polyamory .
“The exchange is primarily sexual — not emotional. This doesn’t mean that swingers don’t engage in meaningful friendships which come with some emotional connections and reactions, but simply that the connection isn’t primarily focused on love,” she says.
"Swinging" is often a pretty outdated term, O’Reily says. Because swinging has been in practice for a long time, and thus more widely accepted (at least a bit anyway), the new term is ‘The Lifestyle’ or ‘Lifestylers.’ “The term swinging is considered outdated by some younger couples, for whom it conjures up images of key parties and velour tracksuits” she explains.
Just like with any sexual practice — from anal sex to orgies — there’s always various ways to try out the lifestyle. As Geter explains, before you try swinging, you want to make sure you know exactly what you’re getting yourself and your partner into. Some basic terminology to remember include:
When you’re first getting started in the Lifestyle, a good first go is participating in a soft swap. Especially for couples who have been together for many years or are potentially married, opening up your bedroom and bodies to other people for the first time can be overwhelming and ignite jealousy you though you didn’t know you’ve harbored long-time.
Geter explains that a soft swap does involve sexual play like oral sex , kissing, touching, fingering or hand-jobs, but does not involve “going all the way.” Do make sure the other couple is onboard with this arrangement so no one is disappointed, confused or uncomfortable during the swap.
You could probably guess what a hard swap means: Everything that’s included in the soft swap is on the table, as well as sexual intercourse. This may be a type of swap that you have to build yourself up to, and that’s okay! Taking it slow in the beginning will help you figure out firsthand if this type of relationship will work for you and your partner. Not every couple is going to be up
To be part of the swinging community, or Lifestyle, can mean many things, depending on your preferences, and of course, your partner’s, too. “Some couples swap with another couples, some couples bring a third female into the sexual play, some couples only swap together or some allow swapping when the other partner is not present, such as out of town or long-distance relationships ,” Geter explains. “Rarely will swapping involve two males engaging in sexual play together. Swinging can also involve partner-only play or group sexual activity, like an orgy.”
When you want to learn how to cook, you take a class. When you want to get involved with your local politics, you might join an interest group to rally together. Just like you’re intrigued by other things, within the swinging community, the social aspect can be an essential part of the enjoyment. “Swinging is not always just about ‘hooking up’ with other people. For some individuals and couples, the social aspect is also very important,” Geter explains. “Some individuals or couples will create friendships and socialize in non-sexual activities.”
In addition to the obvious fun of being able to sleep with more than one person at a time and have it be an approved practice with the person you love, there are other big benefits of having a swinging lifestyle. As the experts note, adventuring into an unknown practice might awaken your fantasies and improve your sex life, but before you get started, make sure everyone is ready to take on the challenge of something new. Here are some important, sexy benefits:
To be able to express your desire to try swinging, you’re already inviting a new healthy dialogue into your relationship. While it might be a tough thing to say at the beginning, over time, and as you invest more in the swinging community, you’ll learn how to communicate more effectively and candidly.
“Any form of ethical non monogamy needs healthy and strong communication to ensure that each partner and the relationship stays healthy. Partners become comfortable stating his/her needs and hearing the needs of others. Keeping in mind that swingers have rules for the relationship or self. Not all couples or individuals have the same rules,” Geter explains.
“Therefore, before sexual play occurs, conversation begins about these rules and working out what works best for that particular swap. This skill can also transfer into other relationships including friendships or work relationships.
Typically during a swinging agreement, it is two couples agreeing to swap partners. But the person you go home with? Your girlfriend or wife. So above everything else that happens — your sexual performance or pleasure or your new partner’s — you have your main squeeze at the top of the priority list. You both want to ensure the other feel safe and is enjoying themselves.
“The culture of swinging also creates and enforces respect and boundaries, which connects back to communication. For instance, if one partner or participant reports a hard limit, or an activity off-limits, then other partners will not engage in that activity. If an activity is reported as a soft limit or an activity where consent is provided though with restrictions, then communication occurs to understand the boundaries during play,” Geter says.
“Also, it can happen where sexual play begins and one partner becomes uncomfortable. When this is communicated to others involved, everyone respects that person’s wishes to cease play with no shame or guilt. Instead, conversation may occur to understand what that person needs to feel comfortable and self-care.”
One of the greatest benefits of an open-type of relationship is that you no longer have to have all of your needs met by one single person. That’s why many swingers report feeling happier and more fulfilled than they did with simply sleeping with the same person over and over again. Not only is the swinging sex fun, but it can actually improve your sex life with your partner in between swap sessions.
“Most swingers will report enjoyment with swaps and play though they report amazing sexual activity with each other immediately after the swap and for days or weeks later,” Geter says. “Some studies have also shown a decrease in infidelity and divorce in swinging couples.”
Though it might seem counterintuitive, being in a swinging relationship might make you feel more connected to your partner because you’re open about everything you dream about and want, without worrying about being judged. This not only improves your sex life, but builds your chemistry and intimacy, too.
“Some preliminary research suggests that swinger have more frequent sex and more satisfying sex lives. They attribute this to the fact that they’ve re-injected passion, mystery and anticipa
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