Girl taking a huge schlong
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Girl taking a huge schlong
Meet The Poor Dude With The Record For Biggest Schlong In The World
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“Have you ever fucked anyone before? Where are they buried?”
This gif embodies the life of the unfortunate holder of the world record for “Longest Penis”, 52 year old Roberto Esquivel Cabrera .
While the original holder of the title was an American who measured to 34cm, Cabrera’s terrifying pants-monster really blew him out of the bedsheets: Carera’s dick is 48.2cm long.
To put this in perspective: the Daily Star pointed out that Cabrera’s penis is only two centimetres shorter than the shortest man ever documented.
So obviously, women are rather reluctant scared shitless to try sexytime with him, and Cabrera admitted that he’s never had a long-term girlfriend. And if you’re chortling something along the lines of ‘ just the tip ‘ etc., then you can shut your damn mouth right now, because the head of Cabrera’s old mate has a circumference of 25cm.
Oh, you wanna see him hang dong? Well, sorry to tell you that all we got is a very scary x-ray, o’ smutty reader.
But in all seriousness, the poor dude has never been able to have a proper relationship, or even hold down a job because of the uncomfortableness and logistical nightmare that comes with having a dick that comes past your knees (literally). Plus he can’t get any government assistance for his condition. That fucking sucks.
Cabrera’s story was noticed by media after claiming the record from the World Record Academy (sadly, it turns out the Guinness World Records don’t actually have a ‘dick size’ category). His story will now be told in a documentary called El Sordido Pudor , which means ‘Sordid Shyness’ .
But our main question is: is 48.2cm hard or soft? Is he a grower or a shower? And when he gets an stiffy, does it look like one of those 1920s slapstick routines with the ladder?
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Love Island girls spy on Chris Hughes' "baseball bat" penis as he takes a steamy shower
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Love Island girls spy on Chris Hughes' "baseball bat" penis as he takes a steamy shower
Vicki Newman Assistant Showbiz Editor
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The girls couldn't resist having a peek at Chris
The Love Island girls made a rather, erm, exciting revelation about Chris Hughes - he's got a penis like a "baseball bat".
As Chris took a shower in the villa on tonight's show, his girl Olivia Attwood decided to take a peek, before inviting a few of the others to take a look.
Amber Davies, Chloe Crowhurst , and Camilla Thurlow looked in on Chris before screaming with apparent delight and exclaiming that his penis "looks like a baseball bat".
But Chris told them: "That's not even hard as well so imagine it bigger."
Viewers were left in stitches as the girls got overly excited.
One took to Twitter to say: "Imagine a girl inviting all her friends to show them her mans d**k"
While another said: "Amber was more excited about Chris' willy than Liv"
"Laughing at all the girls screaming at Chris' baseball bat penis," said another.
And another exclaimed: "Yes Chris my boy"
However, some fans felt like there were some double standards.
One said: "5 girls peering into the shower while Chris (a guy) is taking a shower. Now imagine that, with the genders reversed"
Meanwhile, viewers seemed to be a bit turned off as Kem Cetinary told Amber that he wants her to be his girlfriend "very soon".
The couple were lying in bed together as they poured out their feelings and expressed exactly how much they loved each other.
One said: "KEM YOU ARE BEING MUGGED OFF"
While another said: "Kem and Amber relationship makes me nauseous"
* Love Island continues Sunday at 9pm on ITV2
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Meet Micha (or should I say meat?). He is 45 years old, lives in Berlin and is extremely well hung .
But he wasn’t always enormously endowed, a few years ago Micha underwent an irreversible penis enlargement .
His penis now measures a whopping 9 inches in length and 3.5 inc
Beccas lesbische Teenmöse von Freundin Malla verwöhnt
Rap-Boy holt sich die Sahne aus dem Sack
Kerl bumst den Babysitter