Girl Jilling Off
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Girl Jilling Off
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Breaking taboos one vibrator at a time.
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This just in: women masturbate! It's totally normal and healthy! Everyone does it! Yay! So, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about on-screen female masturbation scenes—which are pretty few and far between compared to their male equivalents because for some reason people get super uncomfortable with the idea that women like sex (opens in new tab) . And more specifically, like touching themselves.
Even now, this is considered pretty scandalous—so cheers to films and TV shows like Fleabag , Girls , The Deuce , and Reign for breaking taboos.
The scene: Single mom Bridgette [Shaw, who also created the series] masturbates to photos of her ex's new girlfriend after a hilariously failed attempt to get off with a vibrator earlier in the episode.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: “Part of what I’m drawn to when I’m writing is sort of a fantasy aspect [of women] and the secret life. So, a lot of this is a huge discrepancy between reality and women’s fantasy lives."
The scene: Fans think Sam and Gabe are on again in the season two premiere—until its revealed that their hot and heavy sex scene is actually Sam's fantasy, and that she's in bed alone with a vibrator.
Her comments on it: None, because BFD.
The scene: Aimee Gibbs gets in touch with her own sexuality during her first masturbation experience, trying out lots of positions and techniques to figure out what works for her.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: "It’s just so weird because [in school] you would hear boys talking about, 'Oh, I watched this video last night. I had the best wank, da-da-da-da-da.' They'd be shameless about it at school, and it was all the girls being like, 'I don't know what that is. We don't masturbate.' It was a complete taboo. I think debunking some of those myths about if a boy plugs away, a girl's going to have a great time, but no, girls need to be like, 'No, this is what I want.' So I'm really happy that that's in the show.
The scene: Textbook housewife Betty Draper is at home, doing housewifey chores, when she notices that the washing machine is shaking. Upon closer inspection, she realizes that the vibrating machine is actually totally fine and indulges in a fantasy.
Her comments on it: None, about the washing machine love scene. Jones has talked about Betty's sexuality more broadly, however, recalling (opens in new tab) that Mad Men creator Matt Weiner, "keeps telling me: 'She is a sexual person, she’s not some prude.'"
The scene: Samantha meets a very hot man of the cloth (Friar F*ck) and, given his vow of celibacy, she has to take care of her urges all on her own.
Her comments on it: None, because BFD.
The scene: Wasikowska's character, India, masturbates in the shower while thinking about her uncle committing murder on her behalf. The scene (like the entire movie) is a twisted exploration of the link between sex and violence—including a rare look at how the two intertwine from a female perspective.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: “If you’re gonna go there, you go there. The anticipation is worse than actually filming it. It’s a closed set, and they’re such specific, small shots, and they yell ‘Action!’ And then after you’re covered right up. So you’re not that exposed, thankfully!"
The scene: Titular character Fleabag is minding her own business masturbating in bed (as ya do)—the catch is her boyfriend's asleep next to her and she's masturbating to Obama videos.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on the scene: "Ah yes, the masturbating-to-Obama bit! That was in the play. Originally, she was looking for something to distract herself from having a bad wank so she turns on the news and, well…I mean, it's Obama, can you blame her?"
The scene: Rooney's character gives herself her first ever orgasm thanks to masturbation. Because you really don't need another person to enjoy yourself, mmmkay?
Her comments (opens in new tab) on the scene: "When they said we’d be doing that scene, I thought 'Yeah I’ll do that. Why not?' How many times have you seen a boy having a wank? All the time! It’s all they talk about! I thought: 'Let’s do it for the girls.'"
The scene: Marnie masturbates in a public bathroom while leaning against the door.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: "A scene like [that] just gets added to the pile and gets smushed in. It's been really interesting being interviewed and being asked about it so much, because I'm like, 'Oh, yeah, well there have been seven episodes since that scene.' I also feel like we are showing these very intimate, private and specific moments in our characters' lives and it just sort of is a part of Marnie's puzzle."
The scene: Lest you forget, Reign is a CW show. And CW shows don't typically show sex, let alone masturbation. But this scene features a royal bedding ceremony with witnesses—one of whom is so turned on that she runs away to masturbate.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: "This is the thing: I don't care about being naked on screen. I don't care about masturbating on screen; I don't care about sex scenes on screen . The aftermath is fine; I don't care who sees it. It's the actual process of filming it that sucks. It's unsexy, it's incredibly technical, it's incredibly boring and also incredibly embarrassing. You're just like writhing around in front of a group of maybe 30 dudes because the set is primarily men…. But the act of a woman actually taking care of herself in that way is incredibly powerful."
The scene: Gyllenhaal's character masturbates after sex thanks to not orgasming during the deed itself. Relatable!
Her comments (opens in new tab) on the scene, and why she *asked* for it to be included: " I thought here’s all this performative sex, all this transactional sex. I wanted to know what her desire looks like. And after we filmed it, he was like, 'Okay. Okay. We’re okay. We have made something feminist. We have.'"
The scene: Beth's roommate finds her masturbating in the bathtub with a shower head. Everything happens off screen, but the hijinks!
Her comments on it: None, because BFD.
The scene: Boo is seen getting off with the end of a screwdriver, because when in jail, you gotta make due.
Her comments on it: "I jumped up and down like a little girl. I was that excited. Because I knew it was going to be something that people will remember. And indeed, it is. The first take, I started laughing because I made the mistake of thinking about what I was doing. That's a huge mistake when acting—you shouldn't think about it. So, the first take was one of the first shots on our gag reel. It was me, starting to masturbate, and howling with laughter. It's just like, 'What am I doing? I'm getting paid to do this.' I can't tell you how many people have asked me to autograph their screwdrivers."
The scene: Glazer performs her "pre-masturbation ritual," which involves a mirror, candles, and a giant vibrator. Treat yourself.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on female sexuality on the show in general: "It's like these girls are horny but not under the male gaze. They're horny, period. Just starting from the vagina, not starting from some man looking at them."
The scene: Adams' very pregnant character masturbates in bed while looking at a photo of her husband.
Her comments on it: While talking about the most difficult scene to film in the movie, Adams said "It's a toss up between the masturbation and the hospital...it was such an intimate and vulnerable moment."
The scene: Allen is seen masturbating in the bathtub as the screen changes from black to color.
Her comments on it: None, because BFD.
The scene: Kate Walsh's character masturbates while sleep walking.
Her comments on it: "We actually shot all of those on the second day of shooting. [Director Courteney Cox] was great; she made me feel super safe."
The scene: Gyllenhaal's character fantasizes about her boss while masturbating.
Her comments on sex in the film: "I love the fact that people wanna talk about sex. I mean, I wanna talk about sex, too."
The scene: Rachel is masturbating to porn with a vibrator in the back of a van.
Her comments on it: "The opening and closing scenes of episode 105 of UnREAL really sparked a conversation. Who knew a women pleasuring herself would be so newsworthy."
The scene: Keough's character, an escort, enjoys watching herself masturbate.
Her comments on it: "We wanted to show things that you don't really see, like the girl getting her period or the girl masturbating… You really feel like you're creeping in on this girl, so it's a bit uncomfortable. It's not like we're showing her masturbate just to have a masturbation scene. It's showing every part of this person and her private moments."
The scene: Her character stands completely naked and masturbates as Michael Sheen's character watches.
Her comments on it: "That was shitty. I could not have been more well protected...crew was as paired down as possible, these are my friends now. I just remember sitting in my trailer feeling for the first time since being on the show that I don't know if I can walk out there. What is it going to take to be able to walk out there and do this."
The scene: Young (10-year-old) Sally Draper has her sexual awakening while watching an episode of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. While the scene does not depict Sally masturbating on screen, it's implied and later confirmed by her mother, Betty's, reaction afterwards.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: "I was very in the world of Sally when we shot that scene. I knew that her mother was really ashamed of what she’d done, and I played off that."
The scene: Issa just casually wants to quench her thirst solo and is frustrated to find that the batteries in her vibrator are dead.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: "In the [writers’] room we were talking about what it feels like to be thirsty and how we don’t really get to see female characters masturbate. Even in a funny way. Especially black women! So we wanted to portray that, while remaining true to our show and showing sexual frustration."
The scene: Adèle touches herself while thinking about Emma.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: "The first time we filmed a sex scene, I was just laughing. I was supposed to touch myself and it was supposed to be my fantasy and then when I opened my eyes and saw her we laughed so much. We were embarrassed. And he shoots for such a long time, I was thinking, 'Man, you can stop there!'"
The scene: Hawkins' character, Elisa, slips into the tub while she waits for an egg to boil and casually and quickly brings herself to climax.
Her comments on it: None, but director Guillermo Del Toro did discuss the scene, saying (opens in new tab) , "We are used to either never depicting female sexuality, or depicting it in a glamorized, artificial way. I thought, most of the sexuality in the movie is not glamorized."
Mehera Bonner is a celebrity and entertainment news writer who enjoys Bravo and Antiques Roadshow with equal enthusiasm. She was previously entertainment editor at Marie Claire and has covered pop culture for over a decade.
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Because your brain doesn't shut off when you're getting off
When you're taking some solo time to get in touch with your body, it's pretty much a judgment-free zone. You can do whatever, say whatever, and think whatever you want—nobody here to please but yourself! But just like your mind can wander when you're in bed with a partner , it's pretty much impossible to turn your brain off when you're getting busy with yourself. Really, who hasn't had the following thoughts while they were getting off?
1. "Oohh yeah…see, why is this so hard for other people to understand?" It's not like your clitoris is on an undercover mission—it's right there. Well, to be fair, you probably know this layout a little better than your partner. But still.
2. “Wait, did I lock the door?” Whatever, you probably did. It’s not like your rooommate ever comes home this early…but what if she does? How embarrassing would that be? Okay, you should get up and check. It’ll only take two seconds.
3. “Okay, this isn’t really working. Where’s my vibrator?” I mean, your hand is great and all, but it doesn't have six different settings and pleasure beads…whatever those are. Now, where did you put it?
4. “Welp, porn it is!” You can only replay that same hot scene with your ex in your head so many times. Plus, you've seen his new Facebook photo, and…well…he does not look the same. Looks like you're firing up the laptop. Internet, don’t fail us now!
5. “Eew no, that is definitely not hot.” Help! How did I click my way into this terrifying section?! ABORT ABORT!
6. “Mmm… now that is a celebrity fantasy I can work with.” Back to old school fantasizing. Hmm...wonder if Jesse Williams will be in the Magic Mike sequel? That's in the works, right? (Answer: YES .)
7. “ WHO is texting me right now?!" You are this close to an orgasm and now your phone decides to blow up. Ugh. Rookie mistake—should have set that baby to vibrate.
8. “YES! MAN, I am good.” Is there some sort of medal for this? If not, there should be…
9. “I definitely deserve another round.” Why? Because you can.
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Real talk: just about everyone masturbates , but very few people talk about it. Here, 23 young women share masturbation stories. They get super candid about why they do it, what they'd wish they'd known in their teens, their first-time experiences with self-pleasure, and more.
"Masturbation is nature’s sleeping pill." - Gretchen
"Self-pleasure is not dirty nor is it wrong to feel horny . They're your emotions, urges, and inclinations. It is your right — and privilege — to explore them. It's also okay to feel scared when faced with something new and unknown. The most important thing is to create a relationship with yourself and your body that is just for you and no one else." - Polly
"My mom is a sex therapist, and the day I got my period, I didn’t get the sex talk. I got the masturbation talk. I’ll never forget it, because it was humiliating. She told me that my pleasure is my right, and that if I have urges, I shouldn’t be ashamed of them. It’s natural and healthy for you. She told me I shouldn’t have sex until I know exactly what my body likes, otherwise I’ll be dependent on other people to figure it out, which isn’t fair for anyone since we’re all different." - Sarah
"I wish I knew that other girls masturbate, too! And that no matter what way you do it, it's not weird! Most girls don't open up to their friends about that stuff until college, unless you have the occasional freaky camp friend." - Lindsay
"To be honest I started mastu
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