Girl Going Down On Another Girl
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Girl Going Down On Another Girl
Dating — Here's The Perfect Way To Go Down On A Girl, As Told By Easy-Bake Oven Cupcakes
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Look boys, I get it. Going down on a girl can be wildly, wildly intimidating. Women are fierce, fabulous creatures. And vaginas are like these epic, mystical wonderlands glittering in the distance. No one wants to travel to an epic, mystical wonderland without knowing what the hell they're doing or where the hell they're going.
You need a compass. You need a game plan. You need a guide. This is where I come in. Your trusty lesbian wing woman is here to help you navigate the art of women.
I get the fear. The first time I traveled down under, I was scared shitless, too (shh, let's keep that between us). But you know what? I eventually figured it out. And you can too, boys. I promise. And the best part is, going down on a girl is actually incredibly fun and extremely satisfying once you get past the all-consuming fear.
But lez be real, no one is just BORN understanding the art of the oral sex (except for lesbians, which is why I'm here to help you). You don't want to just recklessly go down on a girl with the ferocity in which you would devour a bloody steak and shot of whiskey. There is a delicate craft to eating out. In fact, going down on a girl isn't just eating out at some no name, shitty chain restaurant on the basic side of town.
Going down on a girl is more like making homemade, gorgeous, sweet, cupcakes that perfectly suit the palette of the girl. So, on this fine day, I'm going to teach you how to make the "perfect cupcake."
Put away that Easy-Bake Oven and throw away that boxed cake mix. Cupcakes this special need to be made from scratch.
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My Best Friend Went Down On Me On A Girls’ Night Out & It Didn’t Ruin Our Friendship
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By Tyneka Martin
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Girls’ night is a must for me—there are few things I love more than getting together with my best friend dishing about our latest relationship dramas while eating an insane amount of tacos. However, this particular night was unlike any other. Our weekly ritual of face masks and Gossip Girl turned into the infamous bedroom scene from Black Swan .
1. Tequila was definitely involved. The night started off just like any other. It was the end to an unusually stressful work week and my best friend and I decided to ditch the wine and go for something a bit more potent. At about four shots and two mixed drinks in, things started to get interesting… Shameless plug: check out Sweetn , a new startup with free, scientific quizzes that will help you be more successful in dating & relationships. Just click here !
2. The foreplay was probably the best part. A long gaze turned into a gentle touch, which led to a light peck, and then boom! Full-blown making out. The most intimate thing I’ve ever done with my best friend was probably a drunken birthday kiss, so this was not the norm for our relationship. Her hands went to all the right places and my body responded willingly. Why was she so good at this? I mean, she’s my best friend, so I knew she’d never done anything like this before (I think?) but she was such a natural. Shameless plug #2 : Check out Sweetn , the first self-care app for your love life. It helps you make sense of your love life, find the right partner and create the kind of relationship you deserve. Check it out here !
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4. It felt totally natural and unforced. We didn’t talk about it, we just went for it. Our body language was speaking volumes, so I knew this was something we both wanted to do. My first sexual experience with a girl was about to happen and it felt like I was about to go on a shopping spree—I was just that excited. Everything about it was just right . Before I knew it, we were both fully undressed and groping like teenagers.
5. She was better than any other guy I’ve been with. Guys, please take notes. It’s not a sprint but a marathon. Take your time and really appreciate the beautiful flower in front of your face. Most guys tend to fall short in this department because there’s no dedication. You have to commit to the act at hand while also paying extra close attention to detail. When her lips met my other lips, I knew there was no going back. Her execution was gentle but still so commanding.
6. When it was my turn to return the favor, I didn’t hesitate. I dived in head first, literally. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to deliver what I’d just received, but I’m no quitter. I was shocked at how fluid all my movements were. We were in sync with one another and it all just flowed. I didn’t feel nervous about whether I was doing a good job or not because her moans told me all I needed to know.
7. I felt more in touch with myself. Maybe it was the tequila working its magic, but a dormant place had been awakened inside of me and it was singing. I’m usually not that comfortable with letting it all hang out, but none of that mattered. Our two bodies were coming together and it felt totally empowering. Despite having unshaven legs, chipping toenail polish, and hair all over the place, I felt sexier than ever before.
8. It was so good, we went back for round two. The first time was amazing, but we didn’t consider it a mistake or anything to be embarrassed about. A few more shots re-warmed our bodies and got those juices back flowing. This time around, things were a little more calculated but still fulfilling. I think we both knew this probably wouldn’t happen again, so why not make the most of it?
9. I slept like a baby. I even remembered what my dream was about—that never happens! Despite what had occurred, there were no anxious thoughts trying to keep me awake and no signs of regret attempting to settle in. I’m no stranger to making terrible decisions when too much liquor starts flowing, but this wasn’t the case. I did start to feel a hangover trying to creep in, so I popped two ibuprofen and was out almost instantly.
10. The next morning, we talked briefly about what happened over breakfast. It was like talking about the weather, so nonchalant and casual. We were still somewhat in disbelief about what happened the night before but in no way was the conversation awkward. Really, there was nothing to feel awkward about. I complimented her tongue thrusting, she made a comment about my tongue ring, and we raved about how good the pancakes were all in the same breath.
11. We’re even better friends now. I’m not sure if it’s because we share something together that none of our other friends do or if it’s because we know what each other taste like. She’s always been someone I could tell my deepest darkest secrets to and now we had one of our own together. Bodily fluids were exchanged—how could we not become better friends? Although we’re nowhere near ashamed of what happened, we prefer to keep it between the two of us. It’s better that way.
The fact that my friend went down on me and we actually survived the experience with our friendship intact doesn’t mean I recommend you try the same thing. Here’s why.
12. Most friendships really won’t make it. The fact that my friend and I are still close is a rarity. The conventional wisdom is always that you should never cross the boundary into the bedroom with your friend if you actually want to stay friends and despite my experience to the contrary, to be honest, I kind of agree. I was the lucky one but I don’t think most other people would be so fortunate.
13. We had pent-up sexual tension anyway. My friend went down on me because we had a vaguely flirty relationship previously anyway. While we weren’t crushing on each other hard enough to want a relationship or anything, we were curious about one another sexually and took whatever opportunity we could get to pursue that. In other words, it didn’t really come out of nowhere.
14. We’re both confident in our sexuality. There was never going to be any drama afterward of us worrying what our hookup meant and if we’re lesbians now or whatever. Me and my friend are both pretty confident in our sexuality and how fluid it is. For others, this kind of experience might be pretty intense and confusing , but not for us.
15. We’re laid-back about sex and don’t take it too seriously. Neither of us believes that we should only sleep with someone we’re deeply in love with or anything. We’re totally into casual experiences and can take them for what they are without thinking too deeply about it.
16. Things can get messy really quickly. If you’re not prepared for something like this, sleeping with your friend can cause some really big problems. Not only could you lose a friendship but there could be other unforeseen circumstances you may not be prepared for. That’s why I’d advise people not to go there even though it was such a great experience for me.
17. A quiz that tells you what’s holding you back in love Check out Sweetn , the first self-care company focused on your love life . Take their fun and scientific quiz to get personalized insights, recommendations, and proven tools to help you make sense of your love life, find the right partner, and create the relationship you deserve. Just click here !
Tyneka Martin
Ty Martin is a freelance writer specializing in women's health and relationships. She has written alongside many doctoral students during her undergraduate career, assisting in editing and research. Although she grew up in a small town just outside of Chicago, she's obsessed with everything New York and plans on living there one day soon.
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What's played off as an expression of liberated sexuality can actually have the opposite effect in real life, found University of Victoria researcher Lucinda Brown
Oh, The Humanities: Part of a series showcasing research at the Congress of the Humanities and Social Sciences this week.
When Madonna locked lips with Britney Spears on the stage of the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, she catapulted a staple of porn into the mainstream. Soon, young, heterosexual women were making out with one another on the dance floors of clubs across the Western world — their grinding and tonsil hockey documented by the men cheering them on. But what’s played off as an expression of liberated sexuality can actually have the opposite effect in real life, found University of Victoria researcher Lucinda Brown, who presented her findings at the Congress of the Humanities and Social Sciences conference in Ottawa this week. Of 451 women aged 19-40, 71% of them said they feel today’s young women are under pressure to engage in public sexual behaviour with other women. More than 50% of the heterosexual women said they had done it for male attention, and reported lower levels of healthy sexuality. The educational psychology instructor spoke with the National Post’s Sarah Boesveld.
Q : Why did the straight women in your study say they made out with other straight women?
A : A male had requested they do it, they did it because they thought it would turn men on. Things like societal demand – ‘Oh, other women were doing it in the bar and the guys were catcalling and it’s kind of the trendy thing to do, so that’s why I decided to do it.’
Q : Did some of the straight women report that after feeling some pressure, they ended up liking it?
A: Most of the heterosexual women who had engaged in this behaviour in my study really described the outcome in negative terms. They made comments like they were embarrassed – they felt awkward and regretful. Some of them said ‘I felt really coerced in this situation.’ One of the participants said ‘I was really confused because men asked us to do it and then called us sluts and nymphos after.’
Q : You point to that infamous Britney Spears and Madonna kiss more than a decade ago at the MTV Awards. Was that the beginning of this?
A: I think that might’ve been the most obvious place in terms of the media. It’s just continued on from there. We had Katy Perry ‘I kissed a girl and I liked it.’ Miley Cyrus is kissing everybody. Recently, Shakira’s video ‘Can’t Remember to Forget You’ [in which she lays on a bed with Rihanna and caresses her leg] caused an uproar, particularly back in Colombia where she’s from.
Q : Isn’t the lyric ‘I’d do anything for that boy?’
A: That’s the message – I’ll do anything for the boy, so I’ll subject myself to all kinds of behaviour I’m not comfortable with, I’ll do that for you, I’m willing to do almost anything for you. That’s maybe not the message we want to give to our adolescents and young women.
Q : Did you see any long-term impacts for these women?
A: Heterosexual women who had performed this girl-on-girl behaviour had less healthy perceptions of their sexuality. They felt more discouraged or unhappy about their sex lives. They weren’t as direct or assertive about expressing their sexual needs, they felt less confident. They were more likely to say their sexual behaviours were controlled by people more powerful than them. The heterosexual women between ages of 19-25 also described themselves as being more likely to take part in sexual acts in which they weren’t comfortable.
Q : That’s obviously problematic. How do you connect it to the bigger conversations we’re having about consent, sexual assault, being a bystander?
A : The results of the study really indicate that we do need some changes in the discussions we’re having with our children and young women and also in our sexual education curriculum. We need to really encourage girls and women to make well thought out choices that are consistent with their own sexuality.
Q : What about guys? Everyone seems to behave like it’s totally natural for men to like and encourage this.
A : Men need to realize that despite the fact that it’s a staple in pornography, their girlfriends, their mothers, their daughters may really not be enjoying this. It may not be something they want to engage in because it doesn’t feel good to them and it’s not authentic.
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
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