Girl Forces Guy To Impregnate Her
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Girl Forces Guy To Impregnate Her
'MY MARRIAGE CRISIS' 'Paddy and I are having a very, very difficult time' admits Christine
BRIDE CRIED I got a manicure for my wedding - it was so bad, I painted my own nails at 1am
WATER FIGHT Woman comes up with way to stop her neighbours’ kids peeking through her fence
HITTING BACK I live in a council house & I’ve no intention of leaving it to buy my own
THE desire to have a baby can make some women resort to drastic measures.
While most wait until Mr Right comes along and they are financially stable, others take matters into their own hands.
Lately there has been a rising number of “spurglars” — a new term for women who “burgle” sperm by various cunning, and sometimes dangerous, means.
From pretending to be on the Pill to buying £20 fertility kits on Amazon to inject sperm, there are many desperate ways spurglars try to realise their dream of motherhood.
Guidelines from The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) are that women under the age of 40 should be offered up to three free cycles of IVF if they have been trying to conceive for more than two years without success , or they have had 12 failed cycles of artificial insemination.
Today, the average age for a first-time mother in the UK is 30 — but one in 25 UK births are to women over 40.
Local Clinical Commissioning Groups (CCGs) also have their own criteria for who should get help, depending on the catchment area.
While single women can scour the internet for a sperm donor, if they do not meet the criteria for free treatment on the NHS they would need to shell out thousands to have it privately.
The average cost for one round is just shy of £3,000 in the UK and this figure rises depending on the practice .
What is more, there is no guarantee the procedure will be a success.
Between 2014 and 2016 the percentage of IVF treatments that resulted in a live birth was 29 per cent for women aged under 35, and 23 per cent for women aged 35 to 37.
Here, one self-confessed spurglar, and a victim of spurglary, reveal all.
ADMIN assistant Victoria Beckett, 29, was desperate to be a young mum – so spurgled.
Now, she is the loving mum to a daughter and has no regrets. She says:
"I knew I wanted to be a young mum – I’d suffered a miscarriage in my teens and it affected me badly.
I’d hoped to start a family with my school sweetheart but found he’d been cheating.
Ideally, I’d be married before having kids, so I could bring them up with someone I loved. But I went from one failed relationship to another. So I knew I’d have to take a different route.
I went to my GP and asked about IVF, but I was told I didn’t meet the NHS requirements. I wasn’t in a committed relationship and was young.
I thought about using a sperm donor and paying for IVF but, at £3,000 a go, there’s no way I could have afforded it on my then waitress’s salary.
I’d have to take a more drastic measure – hoodwink a guy. I knew it wasn’t morally right but I had no choice.
I met Tom on a night out and he was tall, dark, handsome and intelligent. I wanted someone with good genes and he was perfect.
We began seeing each other and, unknown to him, I stopped taking the Pill.
I deliberately had unprotected sex at my most fertile time of the month. It wasn’t long before my boobs started to swell and I had morning sickness. I did a pregnancy test and it was positive.
At 12 weeks, I sat Tom down and told him the good news – except he didn’t see it that way. “I thought you were on the Pill?” he said. He then went into meltdown. “I don’t want to have a baby,” he said. “This is mad.”
Guilt hit me but I pushed it to the back of my mind. “I’m sorry,” I squeaked. “I don’t know how it’s happened. If you don’t want anything to do with it, I can do it alone.”
Secretly, this was fine with me. I didn’t think he’d be a hands-on dad. So I continued with the pregnancy by myself. He didn’t come to any hospital appointments with me and I don’t blame him.
I wanted someone with good genes and Tom was perfect. We began seeing each other and, unknown to him, I stopped taking the Pill.
When I went into labour, my mum held my hand. I gave birth to a beautiful girl. As I held her, I knew it had all been worth it. I would look after her.
Tom came to my house to meet her one week after the birth, but I’ve not heard from him since. He didn’t want to be a part of our lives and I respected that.
He’s never paid maintenance or sent a birthday card. I don’t hold that against him.
I love being a mum and can’t wait to have more children. Ideally I’d be married but, if I never meet “the one”, I don’t rule out being a sperm stealer again.
SALESMAN Danny Wolfenden, 31, from Bournemouth, was spurgled in his 20s. The trauma knocked him for six and, to this day, has affected his ability to trust women. He says:
"I was casually seeing a girl and she was more into me than I was into her. To be honest, I was seeing quite a few girls at once and didn’t want a serious relationship.
We’d only slept together a couple of times before I broke it off for good. I didn’t feel it was fair to lead her on.
In the days that followed, I didn’t think much of it and was away with work. Later I got a text message from her out of the blue. It read: “I’m pregnant.”
I couldn’t believe it. How could she be pregnant? She’d told me she was infertile and we’d only slept together a few times.
I couldn’t process it all and started to worry about how much it would cost and how it would impact on my life. I wasn’t ready for a child, especially with a woman I barely knew and who I didn’t love.
The next day I called her and told her we couldn’t keep the child. We weren’t in a steady relationship and the best thing would be a termination. It may sound cold but I don’t think it’s fair to bring a child into the world in those circumstances.
She took the news badly. She told me it was her body and she was keeping the baby, who she’d found out was going to be a boy, as she’d always wanted to be a mum.
“If you don’t want to be involved, I’ll do it alone,” she hissed down the phone before hanging up.
As a man, I had no rights and no control over the situation. The power was in her hands. “I think she’s deliberately trapped me,” I told a mate, who nodded solemnly.
Since that day, we’ve never spoken. I did try to contact her but she never got back to me. She changed her address, mobile number and blocked me on social media.
If I’m honest, part of me was relieved. By having no contact, I could pretend it wasn’t happening.
She didn’t want me, she just used me for my sperm and now my son is a complete stranger to me.
She was a few years older than me and panicking about her biological clock.
As a man, I had no rights and no control over the situation. The power was in her hands.
As I’ve grown older – and more mature – I often think about my son. Especially when I see dads playing with their kids in the park.
It’s sad that I’ve never met him and I do wonder if he’ll turn up on my doorstep one day and demand answers. If he does, I would welcome a relationship with him.
But I hope his mother is honest with him and doesn’t paint me out to be the bad guy.
IT is a downside of fertility treatment that having a baby has come to seem like a right to fulfil a would-be parent’s yearnings, rather than taking on responsibility for another human being’s life.
No matter how broody a woman is, it shouldn’t undermine a child’s right to have two loving parents wherever possible.
Children ask about their parentage. If you lie, they often pick up on it. It will not give a child a good feeling to say you tricked their dad.
Some women make great single mums but some do not. There are endless men out there, many of whom write to me, who are either outraged over being tricked or eating their heart out over a child they can have no contact with.
I haven’t paid any child maintenance and have never been asked, but if he needed help I would be there.
Now, I always use a condom because I feel worried about having my sperm stolen again.
I am now in a relationship but we haven’t got any kids yet. It’s going to take me a while before I can trust again."
'Paddy and I are having a very, very difficult time' admits Christine
I got a manicure for my wedding - it was so bad, I painted my own nails at 1am
Woman comes up with way to stop her neighbours’ kids peeking through her fence
I live in a council house & I’ve no intention of leaving it to buy my own
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14th February 2021
Courts & Crime , Zimbabwe
By Matabeleland North Correspondent
DETE: A 17-year-old girl from Dete in Hwange is three months pregnant after being raped by her father who forced her to swallow family planning pills three weeks after the alleged rape as a way of preventing her from conceiving.
The 38-year-old rapist father cannot be named to protect the identity of the complainant.
He was not asked to plead to rape when he appeared before Hwange magistrate Rangarirai Gakanje and was remanded in custody to 23 February.
According to prosecutors, the alleged rapist father sneaked into a spare bedroom where his two daughters, the complainant and her sibling aged nine were sleeping and allegedly raped her in her sleep.
The girls’ mother was away visiting.
“On an unknown date but in the month of October 2020 at 8 pm the complainant and her sister aged nine were at home with accused. The two girls went to sleep in their own bedroom while their father retired to his own bedroom,” said the prosecutor.
“The complainant woke up at night after she felt something on top of her and she discovered that someone was having sex with her.”
The girl allegedly pushed her father aside as she reached for a torch. She lit the torch and saw her father walking out of the room.
In the morning, the girl confronted her father but he denied ever raping her.
After about three weeks, he allegedly gave her three family planning pills and ordered her to swallow them and she complied.
The girl told her mother about everything that had happened when she returned.
Her father was arrested after police got an anonymous tip-off on 18 January. The girl was referred to St Patrick’s Hospital for medical check-up.
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I never thought my best friend’s husband would get me pregnant. Or that he would also get my wife pregnant . But after a few years of consideration, that’s how we all decided to build our families.
It all started at the wedding of this best friend, Tracy, and her brand new husband, Matt. After the reception a bunch of us from the bridal party were hanging out in a hotel room with the couple of honor. My wife Liz and I still had our teal bridesmaids dresses on, basking in the glow of how special it had been to stand together (weeping) with the friend who had officiated our own wedding two years earlier. We adored the man she had just committed to in front of the aquarium’s tank of beluga whales. He was hilarious, feminist, kind, responsible, intelligent, and witty.
You know how when a couple gets married they immediately get bombarded with nosey, inappropriate questions about when they’re going to have kids? Something about big-step ceremonies triggers people to think about the next big step, I guess. I don’t remember exactly how it came up, but I imagine I asked Matt that annoying and cliché question (feeling I was close enough to him not to have it count as annoying or cliché) and he asked me back what our plans were. Being a uterus-rich and sperm-poor couple , the question was less “when” and more “how.”
I told him where we were at: that we wanted kids but felt uncomfortable about the idea of having an anonymous biological father out there. Would our kids want to find him? Would they always wonder? Would they see him as a dad? What if he turned out to be a jerk? Worse, what if he wanted to be their dad? The idea of using a donor from a sperm ban k was scary, but I had always wanted to experience growing a human inside me and this seemed like the only way.
Off the cuff, Matt said that maybe he could help us out instead (provided Tracy was comfortable). Time moved in slow motion for a couple seconds as this idea clicked into place in my head. I immediately knew this was it. This was how we would have our babies.
Matt was not an anonymous looming set of what-ifs; he was our friend. He wasn’t a threat as a potential third parent who might try to hone in on our two-parents-only dream; he was a respectful, queer-friendly guy who understood that Liz and I would be this child’s only parents. His offer answered all of our concerns about our future children having access to someone who is undeniably important to them to ask questions and have a relationship they could create in the way comfortable for them.
Liz and Tracy were on board. We asked about Matt’s family’s medical history, we all talked, and then we waited — until we were ready.
Tracy got pregnant first. I cried for joy when she told me in her kitchen. The excitement set my baby fever off anew, and when Tracy was about three months along, we started trying to conceive a baby for me to carry.
I know you’re wondering how it worked (if you’re not, skip this TMI paragraph), and it’s pretty simple. I tracked when I was ovulating and we did a few inseminations each fertile window. Liz and I would drive over an hour to Matt and Tracy’s apartment and we’d visit like any other time, surprisingly not awkwardly. Tracy and Matt would go to their bedroom, Liz and I to their guest bedroom with a small amount of supplies ordered off Amazon. Tracy would bring Matt’s deposit in a cup over to our room and Liz would put it in me. It was almost completely free and involved no doctors. I got pregnant on our second month of trying.
Tracy’s baby came late and mine came early. We all adjusted to life as new parents, but our work wasn’t done. While Liz and I were able to be the listed parents on our baby’s birth certificate, we still had to go through a legal process for Matt to terminate his rights as the biological father and for Liz to adopt the baby . It all went smoothly (except for my baby spitting up on Matt’s good suit in court).
Tracy’s second pregnancy overlapped with Liz’s, too. Now we each have a 3-year-old and each have a baby and live half an hour apart. They’re all technically half-siblings, but we are raising them to know each other as cousins. We are called uncle and aunts by each other’s kids — family.
That’s not to say we aren’t telling them the full story about their connection. Our 3-year-old knows she came from Uncle Matt’s sperm (or as she says, “perm”). We actually made her a custom book about it. She’s not confused or impressed by it, at least so far.
I love the way we ended up building our family. We not only got the two kids we dreamed of, but we gained four more family members along the way.
Here are some more (and more famous) LGBTQ-inclusive families we love .
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