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AllDefDigital may have outdone themselves with their latest installment of their For The First Time series. Two white girls, Kate Quigley and Dana Moon, are captured kissing black men for “the first time.” Stepping up as the candidates are Teddy Ray and Slink Johnson, as the girls hilariously discuss their thoughts on conquering the quest.
“Black guys have really big lips, and one time I kissed this Filipino guy with huge lips and he slobbered all over my face. And I just don’t know if I wanna go there,” Kate pointed out. Meanwhile, Dana thinks black guys are intimidated by her because she “got that a**.”
Going in for the kill, Teddy controls his urge to pass gas while smooching with Dana, and things get hot and heavy with Kate and Slink. Forewarning Kate about a tradition “in his culture,” Slink grabs a handful of Kate’s derriere. Dana, in the end, concludes the Teddy’s “got game.” Slink called the experience “thrilling,” and “sensational,” and handed Kate some cash for the deed.
We’re not sure if this is either of these ladies’ actual “first time” kissing black guys, but the video is still quite entertaining. Press play below:
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A New Orleans Justice of the Peace has brought the topic of interracial dating back to the forefront, after denying a Black man and White woman to marry. Does interracial dating still matter?
Cinema’s inclusion of the topic of Black men dating White women dates back to the days when television could only be seen in black and white. In 1969, Sidney Poitier starred with Katharine Hepburn in “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,” as their families react to the interracial marriage. The movie was released in December, just a few months after 17 southern states overturned laws that interracial marriages were illegal.
The notion that once some Black men reach success they trade in a sister for a White woman was all too real for Angela Bassett’s character Bernadette in the 1996 movie “Waiting to Exhale.” In the film based on Terry McMillan’s best-selling book, Bernadette coped with her trampled heart by blazing some of her husband’s prized possessions. After 11 years of helping her husband build his dream career, she found herself replaced, sending a message to many women to always look out for self and be prepared for the unknown.
In 2001’s “The Brothers,” lawyer Brian Palmer (Bill Bellamy), left, finds out that the stereotype that Black women are more aggressive and White women are more meek is just that in his “White women only” love life. His flip responses push the buttons of his latest conquest and her karate moves make him realize he can’t put women in boxes.
If the plot from “Obsessed” of a relationship brewing between a married Black man and a new White secretary at work sounds familiar, think back to Spike Lee’s “Jungle Fever,” which hit theaters in 1991. In the film, Flipper Purify (Wesley Snipes) and Angie Tucci (Annabella Sciorra) actually begin dating, to the disapproval of their family and friends.
Our grandmothers are overflowing with knowledge, but when it comes to catching the attention of a brother their tried methods may not be as effective, says comedian and ESSENCE relationship columnist Finesse Mitchell.
“My beautiful Queens of Color, White women don’t have Big Mamas. When a White woman—let’s call her Becky (because we think they’re all named Becky)—likes ‘Marcus,’ she’s all up in his face, getting his attention. Becky takes the guesswork out of who likes who, and some men like that. If a Black woman likes Marcus, she telepathically sends him a message that he almost never gets,” says Mitchell.
Finesse points out that White women are sometimes more open to dating a Black man who happens to be a “regular Joe.”
“We all have standards—we know some White women have a rep for scouting out our Black talented athletes when they’re still in high school—but some White women give a Black man a chance who Black women wouldn’t give a second look,” he says.
Black men and White women are working the dance floor and Finesse encourages sisters to join the fun.
“My single Black female friends say all the time how they don’t like it when they see a good-looking Marcus walking around with a Becky at the club. I encourage my friends to focus inward, not outward. I tell them to just have a good time in social settings, and take the initiative to meet two new people. Black guys do it. White girls definitely do it,” he says.
The “angry Black woman” label is an unfortunate stereotype, says Audrey Chapman, longtime relationship therapist and author of the book “Getting Good Loving” (Agate Books). “The [mainstream] media does a lot to support this. Black women are naturally very giving, supportive and spend a lot of time taking care of others,” explains Chapman. She does add, however, that we are less likely than our White counterparts to go to the gym, spa or take a relaxing solo vacation that allows us time to unwind. “We can grow weary. That weariness can grow into frustration and ultimately anger,” Chapman reveals.
The idea of White women being more accommodating and docile than their Black counterparts is another unfortunate stereotype, according to Chapman. “I find that White women are actually more aggressive and strategic when it comes to relationships,” she says. “White women are more likely to have better support systems in place, like a nanny, so they aren’t trying to do everything themselves which might be the reason for them seeming less intense or frustrated with life,” she adds.
Many argue that Black women could afford to loosen up a bit when it comes to dating by taking the pressure off of themselves for finding a husband after date No. 3 and simply enjoying the company of male suitors. It’s a practice that Chapman attributes to the Black marriage being on a steady decline since the 1960’s.
“Black women are definitely more pressed [than their White female peers] to find a husband,” she says.
Both men and women have complained that many Black men stop dating sisters after they reach a certain financial and/or career status. Even Grammy-winning artist Kanye West expressed it in his 2005 hit “Gold Digger.”
“This week he mopping floors next week it’s the fries So, stick by his side… …You stay right girl But when he get on he leave your a** for a White girl”
While in the past the issue of raising interracial children might have been a concern of those considering dating outside of their race, it is becoming far less common.
In the age of President Barack Obama (the product of a White American woman and Black African man) both sexes are much more open.
For many Black women, it isn’t the idea of a Black man dating a White woman that is unsettling, but the quality of the woman chosen.
“If you take a step down, it is something about us that is intimidating,” says Jeri of Baltimore. “There is nothing wrong with a White woman, but come on now, step your game up. I was definitely surprised to see Ice-T marry Coco.”
Interracial dating is nothing new and won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. And for sisters looking for love, the best bet is to stay as open as possible to the many shapes and shades it may come in, from brothers and beyond.
“Black people need to give one another a break. We’re all a little jaded from past relationships, but that shouldn’t hold us back from being polite to someone new, even when we’re not interested. That person could later introduce you to someone God has made especially for you,” Finesse says.
What’s your take on White women dating Black men?
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https://www.tiktok.com/@halpal___/video/6808598927676394758
https://twitter.com/LilBabyOG_/status/1247589686983491591?s=20
https://twitter.com/GoodeisSXE/status/1247542042785271809?s=20
https://twitter.com/livmanraksa/status/1247551584877379585?s=20
*First Published: Apr 7, 2020, 6:50 pm CDT
More stories to check out before you go
@ms_k_mc / TikTok
@bebegirl0018 / TikTok
@Blackkout__ / TikTok
Posted on Apr 7, 2020 Updated on Apr 8, 2020, 2:46 pm CDT
White girls and women are fetishizing Black men in bizarre TikTok videos that include rap songs, comments about physical attributes, and tags like #mytype or #Blackmen.
The Daily Dot reviewed nine videos where white women objectified Black men, including seven on TikTok and two posted by Twitter users calling out the creators.
Most of the videos following the trend have thousands of likes on TikTok.
In a video with almost 4,500 likes, user @ms_k_mc appears makes faces alongside the text “Men I like.” Four options pop up: “White men,” “Asian men,” “Mexican men,” and “Island men.” She uses her fingers to shoot down each of the options before presenting above her the ultimate choice: “Black men” with the heart and fire emojis.
In another video , user @bebegirl0018 says “no” to a running list of ethnicities and races before the option “BLACK MEN??” appears on the screen and she nods in approval. Her video is tagged with #mytype, #blackguys, and #blackmen.
User @halpal__ shared a video with the caption, “WHERE ARE MY DARK CHOCOLATE BOYS” and expressed her preference for “specifically dark chocolate” men.
“Just to clear the air—no, I don’t date white boys,” she says. “I do date mixed boys, I like y’all little caramels okay. Y’all is fine as shit. But if you are chocolate, specifically dark chocolate—baby boy!”
In another video , a user posted the caption, “I fetishize black men what abt it?”
Twitter users called out one woman for fetishizing Black men. A TikTok video shows her saying, “So sweet, wonderful personalities….your kisses and your hugs just hit different … For all my chocolate men out there, who said it was OK to be that fine?”
According to the tweet, the video was uploaded by a TikTok user with a private account.
“Yes my dad is OK with me dating Black guys,” the woman says later in the video.
It’s not clear what prompted the video trend, but people on social media are expressing their issues with the content.
“Stop this trend of fetishizing black men in tiktok,” one Twitter user wrote. “It’s weird and uncomfortable to watch. Just say you like black men and go.”
So dating a black person is suppose to change your innocence??? This yt girl is literally looking at black men like objects…TikTok better get to it n delete this foolishness https://t.co/G4AG826OgZ
the girls on TikTok calling black men fine like they’re rare creatures. https://t.co/l18CiHsWtY
The fetishization tied up in the #Blackmen TikTok trend is especially problematic given America’s history of white women—and society at large—using Black men as scapegoats for any criminal activity. In the 19th Century, Black men accused of sexually assaulting white women faced the death penalty, but white men accused of the same did not.
The historical problem has resulted in a psychological syndrome called “Blame a Black Man Syndrome,” according to Psychology Today , wherein either an imaginary Black man or an innocent, existing Black man are accused of a crime. According to psychiatry professor Rob Whitley, men who have been falsely accused of crimes can endure psychological damage “similar to that seen in torture survivors.”
Samira Sadeque is a New York-based journalist reporting on immigration, sexual violence, and mental health, and will sometimes write about memes and dinosaurs too. Her work also appears in Reuters, NPR, and NBC among other publications. She graduated from Columbia Journalism School, and her work has been nominated for SAJA awards. Follow: @Samideque
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https://www.tiktok.com/@halpal___/video/6808598927676394758
https://twitter.com/LilBabyOG_/status/1247589686983491591?s=20
https://twitter.com/GoodeisSXE/status/1247542042785271809?s=20
https://twitter.com/livmanraksa/status/1247551584877379585?s=20
*First Published: Apr 7, 2020, 6:50 pm CDT
More stories to check out before you go
@ms_k_mc / TikTok
@bebegirl0018 / TikTok
@Blackkout__ / TikTok
Posted on Apr 7, 2020 Updated on Apr 8, 2020, 2:46 pm CDT
White girls and women are fetishizing Black men in bizarre TikTok videos that include rap songs, comments about physical attributes, and tags like #mytype or #Blackmen.
The Daily Dot reviewed nine videos where white women objectified Black men, including seven on TikTok and two posted by Twitter users calling out the creators.
Most of the videos following the trend have thousands of likes on TikTok.
In a video with almost 4,500 likes, user @ms_k_mc appears makes faces alongside the text “Men I like.” Four options pop up: “White men,” “Asian men,” “Mexican men,” and “Island men.” She uses her fingers to shoot down each of the options before presenting above her the ultimate choice: “Black men” with the heart and fire emojis.
In another video , user @bebegirl0018 says “no” to a running list of ethnicities and races before the option “BLACK MEN??” appears on the screen and she nods in approval. Her video is tagged with #mytype, #blackguys, and #blackmen.
User @halpal__ shared a video with the caption, “WHERE ARE MY DARK CHOCOLATE BOYS” and expressed her preference for “specifically dark chocolate” men.
“Just to clear the air—no, I don’t date white boys,” she says. “I do date mixed boys, I like y’all little caramels okay. Y’all is fine as shit. But if you are chocolate, specifically dark chocolate—baby boy!”
In another video , a user posted the caption, “I fetishize black men what abt it?”
Twitter users called out one woman for fetishizing Black men. A TikTok video shows her saying, “So sweet, wonderful personalities….your kisses and your hugs just hit different … For all my chocolate men out there, who said it was OK to be that fine?”
According to the tweet, the video was uploaded by a TikTok user with a private account.
“Yes my dad is OK with me dating Black guys,” the woman says later in the video.
It’s not clear what prompted the video trend, but people on social media are expressing their issues with the content.
“Stop this trend of fetishizing black men in tiktok,” one Twitter user wrote. “It’s weird and uncomfortable to watch. Just say you like black men and go.”
The fetishization tied up in the #Blackmen TikTok trend is especially problematic given America’s history of white women—and society at large—using Black men as scapegoats for any criminal activity. In the 19th Century, Black men accused of sexually assaulting white women faced the death penalty, but white men accused of the same did not.
The historical problem has resulted in a psychological syndrome called “Blame a Black Man Syndrome,” according to Psychology Today , wherein either an imaginary Black man or an innocent, existing Black man are accused of a crime. According to psychiatry professor Rob Whitley, men who have been falsely accused of crimes can endure psychological damage “similar to that seen in torture survivors.”
Samira Sadeque is a New York-based journalist reporting on immigration, sexual violence, and mental health, and will sometimes write about memes and dinosaurs too. Her work also appears in Reuters, NPR, and NBC among other publications. She graduated from Columbia Journalism School, and her work has been nominated for SAJA
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