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12-Year-Old Girl Posts Nude Photos Online, Dad Sues Facebook
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A 12-year-old girl in Northern Ireland has been uploading nude photos of herself to Facebook, and giving out personal details on the site. Though Facebook requires members to be 13 or older, her father is suing the site for negligence because he says it has no way of verifying users' ages and put his child at "risk of sexual and physical harm."
According to the suit filed this week, the father already shut down his daughter's profile once, but she just opened a new account. The girl has behavioral problems and lives in a voluntary care institution, which is also named in the suit. Hilary Carmichael, the father's lawyer, says that in the pictures the girl, "appears heavily made-up, she appears in a provocative pose and she appears much older than her 12 years." It seems she posted the shots herself, but the Evening Herald reports that she's receiving more requests for photos from adult men along with sexually explicit messages.
Carmichael says that Facebook is at fault for not doing enough to protect children from pedophiles. She tells the BBC:
"It relies on children stating their correct age and it doesn't have any checks in place ... My own personal view is that Facebook isn't suitable for under-18s, but the company isn't even able to uphold its own policy of keeping under-13s out ... An age check, like asking for a passport number would be a simple measure for Facebook to implement."
Right ... except plenty of kids don't have passport numbers and users would freak out if the site started hoarding even more personal information.
When ZDNet contacted Facebook about the suit, a rep responded :
Anyone who is concerned about an underage person on Facebook should report them to us using the form provided and we will remove them.
Facebook is currently designed for two age groups (13-17 year olds and 18 and up), and we provide extensive safety and privacy controls based on the age provided. If someone reports an underage account to use then we will remove it, and use back-end end technology to try and prevent them signing up again. However, recent reports have highlighted just how difficult it is to implement age restrictions on the Internet and that there is no single solution to ensuring younger children don't circumvent a system or lie about their age ...
However, we agree with safety experts that communication between parents/guardians and kids about their use of the Internet is vital. We believe that services such as Facebook have a role to play in encouraging this: the recent announcements around social reporting and our safety center are testimonies to our ongoing efforts in ensuring we are giving detailed and helpful advice to help support these conversations. Just as parents are always teaching and reminding kids how to cross the road safely, talking about internet safety should be just as important a lesson to learn.
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So basically, Facebook says the burden falls on parents to monitor their kids' online activities, and parents say the site should be more responsible. And while they hash it out, there are plenty of kids putting themselves in dangerous situations online.
Posted Mon, May 5, 2014 at 12:15 pm ET
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I've always been one to want to get to the bottom of every problem so that we know how to proceed to fix or repair the issue; whenever there is an illness, I want to know what caused the body to react in that way, and not just take something to relieve or cover up the symptoms. Whenever something happens at work, I want to know what the issues were that led to that problem. My logic, of course, is that if we know the cause, we can correct it. We can remove the causative factor, and then healing is possible.
So what would you do if you discovered that your 12 year old daughter had posted nude pictures of herself on social media? There was a very disturbing video posted on Facebook a few days ago of the mother’s reaction. I’ll include the link only for reference, and to set an example of how broken this reveals humanity to be at this time. The comments I saw under the post were almost as distressing as the video itself.
(This video has since been removed. There are several articles on the internet about it, however.)
What disturbs me – and I hope it does you as well – is how many layers of brokenness this represents. We are in a time of great transition – a great shift in consciousness – and things are coming up now for us to learn from and deal with. So it seems more important than ever to get to the root of the issue. This is important not just for the social ramifications, but also for our spiritual health. We need to deeply examine the underlying causes of our actions, so that we can make the changes that need to be made for the future of humanity. I’m sure child psychologists will have a field day with this, but from a spiritual perspective, I would like to offer my take:
First, let’s talk about the girl. I want to address this, because I think there is something here for all of us to learn.
She’s 12 years old. She is beautiful and innocent. What could possibly have been the underlying reason for her to want to post nude photos of herself on Facebook? This is the real question: Why would a 12 year old girl want to pose nude for the world to see? Let’s examine some thoughts on that:
1. Was she thinking that this was a normal way to have fun?
2. Was she encouraged by her friends to do this?
3. Was she looking for attention that she wasn’t receiving from her family?
4. Was there any self-respect present in her actions?
5. Was there any respect for others in her actions?
All of these lacks become a cycle, as you can easily see. One leads to another, and you can probably think of others that I haven’t listed. So it is apparent that there is an unhealthy need here. And I think we can see more of why this is by the mother’s response.
While I absolutely do not condone the child’s action, I also do not condone the mother’s reaction, although from the comments, many apparently do. I think both are demonstrative of a very unhealthy relationship, and an unhealthy society. For those who haven’t watched the video, the mother repeatedly struck the child with a belt while telling her why. I couldn’t catch all of what she was saying, but she was obviously hurt, angry and frightened for her daughter, and wanted to stress the importance of never doing that again. That much is clear.
Still, the reaction seems to me over the top. Not to mention the brazenness of recording it and posting it on Facebook. Why couldn't the mother have conveyed the seriousness of the child’s actions without a belt – without violence – without the public humiliation? Is she unable to communicate at that level with her child? What does the violence teach the child?
Why would the mother jump to conclusion about what others might think or say? Because society has fostered that fear. We do judge one another. And we judge ourselves. Could the mother have felt that her child’s actions reflected poorly on her ability as a mother? I think I would have felt that way. Was this reaction the societal norm, as suggested by several of the comments? What are some other reasons you might think of for her abusive reaction?
There is a saying in spiritual circles; hurt people hurt people. And we see it again and again. The reason someone acts out was because he was bullied as a child, or she was abused by a relative, or their parents expected perfection and punished anything less. There are abandonment issues, parents who don’t love or care. There are so many reasons. But it all leads back to being hurt at some very deep level.
For centuries, religions have been both a source of healing, and a cause of hurts. But in this new era of spirituality, we are starting to understand that humanity is reaching a crisis point in brokenness, and healing and restoration of wholeness is crucial for the future of humanity. What are the holes that need to be filled? And can our religious and spiritual structures support this healing?
There are no easy answers, but these are important questions. I do think that it is possible to restore wholeness. And in our example of the 12 year old nude and her mother, it seems that if the mother was whole, and the daughter did what she did, that the mother would sit her down, explain why what she did was improper, help her daughter work on a solution to remove pictures, and – most importantly – she would examine the reason that her daughter felt compelled to exhibit her body publicly, and take steps to bring the daughter to a deeper understanding so that she could correct the underlying cause. That is what wholeness would possibly look like for the mother. Her love for her daughter would lead the way.
For the daughter, if she were whole, she would have a deep respect for herself, for her family and friends, and wouldn't be subject to coercion by friends. She would see herself as a bright, shining soul in a human body, and allow her gifts to shine forth naturally, as she grew and matured. Exhibitionism wouldn't cross her mind. There would be no need. Even if friends encouraged it, her natural love for herself and her family would have prevented her acting in that manner.
Of course, this is idealism, and unlikely to occur in an imperfect world in imperfect humans. Still, it is something we can strive for. Think about how incredible our society could be if we all understood ourselves as immortal souls residing in bodies. If we understood the true nature of ourselves and our reason for being in this incarnation. What if we allowed our gifts to shine forth to help humankind, instead of hiding them under a basket? What if we all lived by the great guiding principle of humankind; to love and care for each other as ourselves. What if, when we see that someone is having a difficult time with something, that we work with them to help them discover a solution to the underlying cause – to fill the hole. This is not a solution to the manifested problem, but something much deeper that will allow the person to find a solution for themselves. And trust me, it’s a whole lot easier when we really understand our true nature, and what unconditional love really means. I've seen this work first hand – in my own life and in others I've coached. It is possible to restore wholeness, and the transformations are amazing.
We may never be able to make sweeping changes across society, but we can restore wholeness to one person at a time. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Rev. Stacy Lee Goforth is an Interfaith Minister, Spiritual Life Coach, Intuitive, Mystic, Co-Creator of Crystal Vibrations Jewelry , and Talk Radio Host of Goforth on Faith . She is the author of The Divine Plan , a spiritual gifts based program for discovering your unique life purpose. She serves on the worship teams for the Interfaith Community International in NYC, and the New London United Methodist Church. She also leads The Path of the Mystic, a weekly one hour class on spiritual/mystical experiences at the Center for Healing Therapies in Waterford, CT.
Follow her on Facebook and Twitter, and sign up for her newsletter at www.manycontainers.com .
The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch? Register for a user account.
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