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How about a good old Feels/Vent thread about whatever the fuck you want. Previous thread >>37152 Let's scream into the abyss about our problems and try to help each other where we can.
>>80845 I want to vent about this site. I feel like there's a lot of negativity growing, I miss the good feels and good vibes. I'm sick of race arguments in every thread, of people making a response just to say "what" or "k". It's making threads not fun to read. Not comfy. Derailing arguments that go on for 30 posts, unfunny shitposts and people misunderstanding the OP make many threads unreadable.
A few days ago a man grabbed my arm on the street and said "I could just take you inside and fuck you against a wall with no one there to hear you scream" I just made him let go of my arm and crossed the street. Like it was obvious he was mentally not well in the way he said it- I felt so weird because I wasn't as afraid as I should have been. But now it's getting to me and I'm always nervous being alone outside and that is making me annoyed at myself
>>80847 this is why you need pepper spray go for the eyes next time
Literally was just triggered by instagram and feel pathetic. I freaked out a few days ago because I looked at an account that had liked one of my selfies, and the tiny userpic looked a bit like an abusive ex that I still have nightmares about, but I managed to reassure myself that it was just someone with a similar haircut. It happened again this week and I've just spent an hour having a panic attack while examining every detail of their cat photos (the only content) and getting a mutual to confirm my ex doesn't own a cat. Reading that it isn't them got me back to earth, but now I just feel disgusted at myself and pathetic for thinking that I would still be of any interest to that bastard. I feel ashamed for thinking I could be an obsession even of a creep, and lame for having an anxiety attack just because of instagram. In any case that account is skeevy and I'm blocking it, it's only following a mix of teen kawaii bloggers and extreme ageplay porn. >>80846 Same, I don't understand where all this /pol/ stuff has even come from
>>80845 In light of the Ginger Bronson thread, but also just in general, I cannot fucking stand well-to-do or even just plain middle class kids playing at being working class or skint because they've got some bullshit aesthetic or something. Idk man, you see it with people like fucking Jarvis Cocker all the time. Common people my arse. Come and see me up at the job centre, Cocker, then tell me about how much you know about how "everybody hates a tourist". >inb4 poorfag
I'm going to fail my management final tomorrow. I guess I feel ambivalent. I failed my midterm because some stupid bitch decided to sit next to the empty seat next to me at the last second and she distracted me the entire time. I didn't even finish my exam. But I guess that's college: huge lecture rooms with 200 students.
I'm truly lower class trash and always will be. I have no idea what half of office workers even do. I go to shitty bars and work a shit job and I don't even have the time to contemplate changing that. I'm so jealous that other people get to browse the internet most of the day and get paid 3x as much as me, have vacations and sick days and whatever else. While I work my ass off all day and I'm allowed zero downtime, "social" chatting is banned and so is having a cellphone. I just hate my life and even if I had the time to study without ending up homeless, I'm probably too stupid and inept to succeed.
I'm not smart enough to be Real Fucking Smart genius level but I'm above the average enough to notice how good I am, and resent the fact that it's not good enough. It would be far better to just be as dumb as everyone else. As it is, I feel as if I SHOULD be as good as actually smart people, but I fail at it. They expect me to understand things that I cannot understand, I'm a fucking fraud. Or maybe I'm just asking for too much. I'm a 21 yo who just got into college, comparing herself to people who've completed their degrees, people who are over six years older than me, people who've taught for over twenty years… I don't know. It's hard not to feel discouraged.
I worked my second ever job. It was an event job at a convention center and I nearly buckled under the stress multiple times. I'm a diagnosed and tried true autist and fuck me I feel like I will never even be able to work 25-30 hours a week even. I'm 20
If I was the way I am when drunk, my life would be better. Hey look I can talk and not feel anxiety! Hell I actually like people! And don't need to think to choose my words, they just flow AND they still make sense! Wow. I'm in a good mood too! And maybe motivated! If I was normaly like this, I wouldn't be the dumb, rotting piece of shit I am right now. But one night is not enough, so tomorrow I'm going to wake up and go back to the same old way I've always been. Hahaha what a fucking joke. :)
>>80884 I know that feel. Had to skip out on a Sainsbury's job because the 4-day induction (I was told TWO days, don't fuck with me J. Sainsbury, I'm spasticus autisticus and I need time to process these things) was overwhelming. Hope you're feeling less overloaded now, it's horrible.
I feel void of personality. I have no defining traits or hobbies. I've isolated myself so much growing up (still do), and I think the toll its taken on me really shows. I'm worried because I've developed a really bad habit of stalking people online. People I've never interacted with. I've come across them through various forums and sites while browsing. I guess I do it because I find their personalities interesting or admirable. I know it's really creepy and I should get a life. I've tried to stop multiple times but I always end up coming back to it eventually by coming across someone else who catches my eye. I'm not malicious in any way but I find it fascinating what sort of information they leave on the internet. It's pathetic but I also fantasize about these people a lot. It makes me sad to know I could never form a genuine realistic connection with them.
>>80872 Hey anon, it's gonna be okay. I'm gonna fail my midterms this week too. And I'm too terrified and anxious to try to talk to my teachers and ask for help :^)
>>80905 Fantasize was probably not the right word. It's more just imagining how they'd react to hypothetical situations, conversations, etc. Although sometimes I do like to imagine what it'd be like to be in a relationship with them.
>>80884 Any event or competitive sales job is going to be more stressful than a basic cleaning or retail job. Starting any job is stressful as hell, but once you know the routine for something mundane you might find yourself able to cope. Perhaps you and other anon should try to volunteer somewhere once a week to help you adjust.
>>80893 I think that'd be really fun, actually. I do it with people I've met for a day and I add them or vice versa. I look on their fb page through the years, their past lovers, drama, milestones. Sometimes I'll find someone special and fantasize about them, but 90% of the time they end up disappointing my expectations of what their life would be. I feel like a creep because I've long since deleted the embarrassing years and past relationships, so nobody could do to me what I do to them.
>>80893 I've done/do similar, just because I can. People leave huge trails and don't even realize it. I just need one username, or a name and a job, or name and location, and I can unveil so much about most of their lives. I've been increasingly more conscious about what I post ever since I was like 16, and I've gone through and dug into myself to remove what I can so others can't do this to me. I'll never get rid of it all because, unfortunately, I get kinda attached to some accounts and posts and stuff, but still. There is one person, who I actually knew irl at one point, who I've tried my hardest to find and I just cannot. About once or twice a year I go through a phase of trying to find them again. There is nothing. I don't know if they're dead or what, but even still I figure there would have been an article or obit or something about it. Actually, that's not 100% true. Years ago I saw a comment on facebook under a photo of someone who I think is related to them, and the comment mentioned their name, but that was it. It doesn't exist anymore though, once again leaving me with nothing.
Sorry for the inevitable wall of text but I need to get this shit off my chest. I've been in a relationship with someone for the past year and my s/o is AMAZING. I have never felt so loved and trusted someone so much. I deal with the occasional communication error, but I have basically found the person I really thought I wanted to marry. Unfortunately, a person I was deeply in love with before I met my s/o has decided to come back into my life and it has made me realize that my s/o will never make me feel as deeply as my "ex" did. My "ex" made me feel crazy and MISERABLE. They (and I say they to protect everyone's anonymity and not in the tumblr sense) were a textbook emotional abuser and is thought to have borderline personality disorder, but I loved them so dearly. I hate myself for this. The person I am with is wonderful, stable, and everything I've ever WANTED but the crazy bitch in me misses the chaos my ex brought to my life. It's almost addicting. I had been feeling restless right before they contacted me so I'm ESPECIALLY susceptible to making impulsive and damaging decisions right now and I'm starting to make myself miserable thinking about what a piece of shit I am for all of this. I judge other girls for going for fuckboys and not decent people and yet here I am, fantasizing about my emotionally volatile ex when I have everything I ever wanted! None of my friends know any of this and I can't talk to them about it because they all LOVE my current s/o and I don't want them to get angry at me for thinking these things, but I swear I think I am just addicted to chaos. I'm addicted to the mindgames and the bullshit. I never thought I was this person, but I guess I am and I hate myself for it. Sorry for the whining.
>>80995 >who I've tried my hardest to find and I just cannot. About once or twice a year I go through a phase of trying to find them again. There is nothing. Kinda same here. Although I didn't know my person IRL, I like to still look them up from time to time. There's not enough info and I've been looking them up (don't wanna say stalk cause I'm not malicious) since like 2011. >>80893 With the void of personality thing, maybe you can start off "faking" one, like assigning some hobbies, traits, preferences and opinions to a personality and then trying to be/act like that person would for a short time and see how you like it? Then modify as needed. As for the stalking, as long as you're not hurting anyone or yourself, I don't think you need to stop.
>>80896 Sorry to hear that. My therapist encouraged me to send out an email asking if there was anything I could do. I know she wouldn't know who I am, but I'm too embarrassed to ask because she a no bullshit kind of person. I'm having a meeting with the office for students with disabilities soon. Hopefully I can get some accommodations.
>>80996 Break up with the poor guy before cucking him with Chad.
I've befriended a robot a while back due to mutual friends. > 29 still at home with no plans to move out >unemployed >community college which is fine but he doesn't plan on transferring which won't work if you're going into a medical field > 0 fashion sense/tattered or old clothes I tried my best initially to help get his act together, make him aware about job offers and going to the mall together to shop for clothes more his age. All to which he didn't bother with but I'm actually disgusted with him lately. He's almost 30 and is trying to flirt and date 18 year olds. What does someone that age have in common with someone fresh out of high school?? On top of that he was someone who is realitivly attractive, talented, driven basically everything he is not. Which I brought to his attention the other day. An attractive 18 year old girl with talents and ambitions isn't going to date a ducking 30yr old jobless loser. Like he keeps saying how he wants to "settle down" cuz he's getting older and I'm just like how the fuck you going to settle down if you never left the nest. He should focus. On atleast moving out before dating let alone being as unfortunate in appearance to be wanting to date a 10/10 girl. All my friends are telling me to apologize but I refuse to apologize to a creep who can't get his act together.
>>80996 Love yourself and never speak to your ex again. If you want a more passionate relationship than your current one, break up and go find someone else, but don't go back to some creepy abuser. Manipulation isn't passion and psycho losers aren't worth it. If you're craving some excitement, get it from somewhere else.
>>80996 imagine yourself in a year if you give into your 'crazy bitch' impulses. maybe five years. this whole setup - not going anywhere. pleasure is fleeting. block him on whatever platform he contacted you over. you can't control how you feel but you can control how you react, and it sounds like you have a good thing going right now and you know better.
This isn't that big of a issue but I really really really hate people who self-diagnose. I've been diagnosed with BPD by multiple psychiatrists and I hate all these Tumblr kids that think they have BPD because it's cool or whatever. It's really getting on my nerves because I feel like people take me less seriously or assume I'm faking it, you know? Ugh.
I can't stand my sister in law guys. She's been TTC for a year now, and has become absolutely unbearable because of it. My younger sister is about 4 months pregnant and due to my sister-in-law struggling to conceive, everyone has to tiptoe around her about talking about babies because she throws a fit and runs out of the room screaming about how "IT'S NOT FAIIIIR". The worst part is that back when they first started trying, before anybody even knew, I told her about my abortion and she got all high and mighty about it and told me how "It's really sad how some people try like hell to have a baby, and yet careless people can just throw one away like that" Fuck you, you judgmental bitch.
Lately more and more i've been thinking about killing myself and its tearing me apart. I have no friends left, no stable job, I live with my abusive family and my depression is only getting worse. As much as I try to better my life and my friendships everything seems to get worse and it feels like theres nothing I can do about it. I don't think it would really matter anyways if I did kill myself anyways because at this point no one would notice or care. Honestly I'm just tired of crying myself to sleep and forcing myself to get up in the morning. I just want a reason to feel like living is worth it.
>>80846 Agreeing very hard with this. Not sure if it's just the influx of newfags, it could just be people being dicks. Either way, it's going to kill this community more than help it grow.
>>81075 >>80846 Agree. I know I probably shouldn't get so annoyed with a board, but I really am so sick of the race baiting. So tired of the Ana and tumblr Chans shitting up threads. Really fed up with the derailed a that don't know how to let a petty argument go. And I'm mostly sick of the autistic fags that can't distinguish between different writing styles and leave "nice same fag" comments everywhere.
Can't stand the idiots that cry "OMG PULL FAG PULL FAG U MUST BE FROM PULL OMG SUCH A PSYCHO" when they are trying to defend a cow. Also people that have to go on and on about how "The milk is dry! You are ruining the good name of lolcow by talking about this person" We get it, we are nitpicking. Just hide the fucking thread and move along if it really bothers you.
Lately I've been finding myself daydreaming and fantasizing even more than usual, nearly any time my mind isn't already occupied by something. This is starting to really worry me and I'm afraid that with the combination of my procrastination will stop me from achieving my goals and actually getting shit done if I want to achieve those goals. Legit scared I might be developing some sort of delusion or serious mental illness, what do?
>>81081 samefag . . . i'm just kidding. it is annoying and i don't get how it would be personally rewarding to be trolling/luking relatively slow moving threads only to scream samefaggggg at every opportunity. at this point the only samefagging i'm convinced of is that there is one highly dedicated individual perpetuating massive samefagging through samefagging callouts. it's like samefag inception
>>81072 i'm sorry =[ as lame as this sounds, sometimes you have to be your own best friend. other people always have the potential to let you down. at this point it sounds like you don't have many people to rely on. i know this sounds silly but maybe you could start going to church, i'm not particularly religious but it helped me at least feel a part of something. i care anon! nobody deserves to be hurt like that. i'm not sure how old you are and what your money situation is but sounds like you could get a job, even a shitty one, and start saving money to move out. it will probably take a long time but the reward will be worth it. once you are out of the environment you describe you will feel loads better. you are from now on, engaged in a top secret mission to rescue yourself! only you can do it. do it because you deserve to be happy and have a good life. if you can get out, you can do literally anything. and i know you can do it. sounds like there is no one in your life to whom you can talk to, but a lot of people here have been through similar situations. just keep posting on here if it helps
>>81085 Tbh you sound like part of the problem. It's "lolcow" not nitpickchan.
I feel like shit for may reasons these days (always tired, shit grades in college, etc) but something is bothering me. There's that guy in college, I don't really acre that much about him usually. He's your average guy who isn't very good or bad looking, he has friends and he often jokes with pretty much everyone except some people (including me). I've been a bit jealous of him because he's more successful than me in some things that I won't detail because it's not important. I know it's wrong but I can't help it. I also catch myself thinking more and more about him when there's no reason to, asking myself what he's doing right now and stupid shit like that. How do I stop caring about him? I hate feeling like this so much, it's so frustrating. short version: I'm jealous of guy to the point of thinking about him way too much, it pisses me off.
>>80888 That's admitting defeat and being a freeloading faggot. There are p
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