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A Horrific True Story of Rape in a Religious Colony Becomes Thought-Provoking Fiction

By

Bethanne Patrick

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I t was a historic — and horrifying — case of gaslighting. One hundred thirty Mennonite women and children were drugged and raped in their Bolivian colony over a period of four years, starting in 2005. Their abusers, men in their own community, told the victims, 3 to 60 years old, that their attacks had been perpetrated by ghosts.
Miriam Toews fictionalizes this ugly chapter of history in her latest novel, Women Talking . In her version of the story, eight Mennonite women, also in Bolivia, begin to hold secret meetings after suffering repeated violations in 2009. They have just two days before their fathers and husbands return from a trip to a nearby city to bail out their accused attackers, and they must meet in secret to evade those around them who remain loyal to the absent menfolk. Since these women are illiterate, deemed unworthy of education by the men who rule their world, they ask a previously shunned Mennonite man, August Epp, to keep “minutes” of their talks.
The assembled include women from two families, the Loewens and the Friesens. They range from teenagers to grandmothers, from giggling adolscents Autje Loewen and Neitje Friesen to the chain-smoking Mejal Loewen and her irritating mother Greta. Together they must decide: Will they do nothing? Stay and fight? Or leave the only community they’ve ever known? Ona, a spinster who is pregnant from a rape, encapsulates the stakes for them all: “When we have liberated ourselves, we will have to ask ourselves who we are.”
The author herself was born in a Mennonite community in Manitoba, Canada, and left the group and its religion at 18. Several of her six previous novels, including A Complicated Kindness and Irma Voth , discuss the problems with the patriarchal Mennonite culture, and Women Talking builds on those books.
The novel employs an audacious conceit: while it’s a story about women, it anchors its narrative in a man’s perspective, as August bears witness to the most private, painful and urgent of the victims’ conversations. The reader’s only way to learn about these women is through his male voice — a setup that both heightens the injustice of the women’s situation and keeps readers at a distance from what they think and feel. But even through the filter of a male narrator, Toews shows us how these women, who can’t read or write, are capable of great reasoning and philosophy. They have learned holy writ just as well as the men who control its print.
Each of the options they identify in the wake of their abuse is grim, yet the novel as a whole is anything but. Toews infuses the women’s humor, from broad to subtle, as the group constructs a plan. Even in the midst of their toughest conversations, they cackle together, daydreaming of a scenario in which they could force the men to sit at school desks wearing dunce caps, and crack sardonic jokes at one another’s expense. This group may be isolated from the world, but its members join a long tradition of women bonding in laughter.
And like so many other women, they count on their male peers’ belief that because they are women, they will not strike back. Toews calls to mind a long line of underestimated icons, from the fictional Lysistrata to Joan of Arc, who took control of their lives and their communities too — all the while relying on men’s blindness to their power . When the elderly Earnest enters and asks jokingly if the women are plotting to burn down his barn, Agata says, “No, Ernie. There’s no plot, we’re only women talking.” One day, Toews suggests, these women — and all the women of the world — will take control, just so long as they keep talking.

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“It obviously creeped me out. I definitely felt sick about it, but it definitely felt like something sexual was happening to me and my body was responding.”
Ever since Joy was a little girl, someone or something has stalked her bedroom late at night. At first, this specter inexplicably terrified her. But when she became an adult, the ghost continued to visit her — and it became something of a familiar friend.
"[I] used to have visits from strange spirits or whatever and actually have sex with them," Joy, who did not want to reveal her last name, told Mic . "It was very pleasurable. It was almost like I was in a real relationship with a guy."
Unbeknownst to Joy at the time, she was experiencing what paranormal investigators and parapsychologists have deemed " spectrophilia ," a term that encompasses both the actual act of alleged paranormal intercourse with ghosts, spirits or invisible lovers and the fetish for paranormal intercourse. (It also, curiously, is used to describe sexual arousal derived from reflections in mirrors.)
The phenomenon has come to be something of a punchline in recent years, thanks to a rash of sexual supernatural encounters reported by celebrities like Lucy Liu , Ke$ha and, famously, Anna Nicole Smith , who claimed a ghost would crawl up her leg and have sex with her while she was living in Texas. "I used to think it was my boyfriend, then one day I woke up and found it wasn't," she told FHM magazine .
Natasha Blasick , an actress best known for the film parody Paranoid Activity 2 , had a similar experience that went viral after she revealed it on a British talk show last year.
"I just could feel this presence coming closer and closer and then I start feeling the actual touch without being able to see much," she told Mic . "The touch itself like that, it's kind of human, like, you know, hands... I could feel it all over my body."
Grim grinnin' ghosts: Despite the elbow-nudging and eye-rolling the idea of ghost sex can evoke, eerily similar experiences of supernatural sex or spectral rape have been reported in one form or another since at least 2400 B.C., when demons Ardat Lili and Irdu Lili were described on the Sumerian King list , the tablet that gave the world the epic of Gilgamesh . On the tablet, the demons are described as visiting men and women nightly to either become pregnant or to impregnate humans with hybrid spawn.
"This is something that's gone on — truly written in every culture, in every philosophy, in every religion — since the beginning of time," Patti Negri, a psychic who conferred with Blasick after her experience and who served as a paranormal expert on the Travel Channel special Ghostly Lovers , told Mic .
The book Sleep Paralysis: Nightmares, Nocebos and the Mind-Body Connection further recounts the demonic predators and spectrophilia-like experiences that have appeared in the more than 4,000 years since the tablet was etched. They include reports from ancient Greek medical literature , a tale from the Old English epic poem Beowulf , an account from the prophet Mohammed and 16th- and 17th-century witch trials .
"You feel like you're going to die." But even though ghost sex predominantly has its roots in mythology, modern-day researchers now attribute the phenomenon to a very real, very common condition: sleep paralysis .
"When I first started working on it, a lot of people thought it was a cardinal symptom of narcolepsy, which it's not," David Hufford, author of The Terror That Comes in the Night and one of the first researchers to begin studying spectrophilia, told Mic . "Other people mistook it for psychosis — schizophrenia , for example — which it's not. It's normal and it's common, much more common than people thought that it was."
Sleep paralysis is thought to be the result of someone waking up before their REM, or the rapid-eye-movement sleep phase , cycle is finished. (Estimates for exactly how many people are affected by sleep paralysis vary widely, but Hufford said he believes roughly 20% of people have experienced it at some point.) Because of a physiological mechanism that prevents sleepers from acting out their dreams, those who experience sleep paralysis are left paralyzed (hence, the self-reports of being "frozen" during ghost sex encounters). They can also experience intense fear, chest pressure, hallucinations and difficulty breathing.
Worst of all, the sufferer, despite being unable to move, feels fully awake throughout the entire episode. "Your body can feel like it's getting pushed or crushed. It can be painful for some people," Ryan Hurd, an independent dream and consciousness researcher and the author of Sleep Paralysis: A Guide to Hypnagogic Visions and Visitors of the Night , told Mic .
In fact, sleep paralysis can be so terrifying that a string of sleep-paralysis related deaths amongst Laotian Hmong refugees in the United States inspired horror vanguard Wes Craven to create the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. "You feel like you're going to die," Joy told Mic . "No matter how many times it happens to you, you feel like you're going to die."
When terror turns to sexual arousal: It's not exactly clear why certain people experience sleep paralysis, or who's at risk for the condition, though anxiety and lack of sleep do play some role. Negri told Mic that anecdotally, women are more likely to report spectrophilia and sleep paralysis than men, but she attributes that largely to reporting bias.
"I certainly have men who've experienced it, but women seem to want to talk about it more and experience the wheres and the whys," Negri said.
More difficult to pinpoint than the cause of sleep paralysis is the fraction of sufferers whose episodes aren't terrifying but are instead of a sexual nature. According to Hufford, sexual sleep paralysis experiences are "maybe no more uncommon" than blissful, out-of-body reports of sleep paralysis, which have also been reported. And according to data from sleep paralysis researcher James Allan Cheyne , while 95% of people who experienced sleep paralysis over a lifetime reported feeling fear, 13% of those respondents also reported having pleasurable sleep paralysis experiences.
Laura Hale, a 23-year-old woman from Louisiana, said she has experienced both sexually pleasurable and terrifying episodes of sleep paralysis. The first time, she said, it was a combination of the two.
"It obviously creeped me out. I definitely felt sick about it, but it definitely felt like something sexual was happening to me and my body was responding," Hale told Mic . "It was all kind of just 'This is really weird and I'm not sure what's happening.'"
Joy reported using self-pleasure as an antidote to the terror sleep paralysis would otherwise bring. She told Mic that she has a technique for keeping night terrors at bay: using a hand that "floats out of [her] body" ethereally, "I will go down and just pleasure myself and it will take the fear away and I'll have an orgasm. If I don't do that, I get super scared and it's a horrible experience."
Yet the question remains: Why do some people find sleep paralysis pleasurable, while others find it terrifying? Physiologically speaking, there are a handful of possibilities. One common theory is that we enter a natural state of sexual arousal while we sleep. When our heads hit the pillows and our brains enter REM sleep, our genitals engorge , resulting in erections in men and lubrication in women.
Another possible explanation lies in the intrinsic link between terror and pleasure. Numerous studies have determined that fear can trigger sexual arousal, possibly due to the fact that both emotions activate the amygdala , the part of the brain that processes both sexually arousing and threatening stimuli.
Hurd's readers have supported that theory, reporting feeling both scared and aroused by sleep paralysis episodes. But the truth is that researchers still don't really know what's going on."It's really an understudied aspect of sleep paralysis and sleep paralysis hallucinations probably because of all the nested taboos related to the topic," Hurd said. "Who wants to talk about how they had sex with demons?"
A thriving community of ghost lovers: Apparently, the answer to that question is quite a lot of people, if the popularity of online spectrophilia and sleep paralysis forums are any indication. Both Hale and Joy are members of the subreddit r/sleepparalysis , where they share experiences, compare notes and swap stories with other people who have similar experiences.
"It's a really helpful resource for just kind of feeling more normal, even though this is a really weird thing happening to you," Hale said.
Joy said she finds comfort in the forums because they normalize sleep paralysis and provide a nonjudgmental space for people to discuss its sexual dimensions. She's even used the forums to recommend her "technique" to other paralysis experiencers who have intense fear during their episodes.
"I shouldn't be embarrassed of it because it is what it is. I think it's just the sexual part of it that's embarrassing," she told Mic . "If I was to say [to the ghost], 'Oh, I just say go away in the name of Jesus,' it would be considered 'Oh, she's cool.' But since it's [sex], it's almost kind of like, taboo. Even though everybody masturbates."
As more and more sleep paralysis experiencers come forward with their own accounts — supernatural, natural or otherwise — perhaps researchers will continue to learn more about the spirits that visit people in their sleep and what makes them so horrific (or just horny). But until then, we'll continue to hear reports of spectral sexual encounters. And as we do, it's important to remember that these accounts, while frequently bizarre and often inexplicable, are never quite as out of the ordinary as we might think.
This article was originally published on 10.9.2015

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I am in my mid 40s and until now never gave much thought to paranormal experiences. And I certainly never experienced any. I moved into my house April 2019 and the evening of Wednesday October 30, 2019 I laid in bed watching tv, after a couple hours I turned off my television & I tried to fall aslee...
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He has sex with me and leaves.

Last night I had questions for him.

When he arrived I asked him his name. He said Steven.

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I am a bloke in my mid 30's and yes, I know stories about Incubus/Succubus hauntings are being filtered/restricted for obvious reasons. But I a
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