Getting Started Ch. 02: Firsts
With the kids grown, our empty nest syndrome moved my wife Jan and I to talking to another couple about our sex lives. (See my previous story "Getting Started -- Ch1 Mentors".)
Fred and June were about ten years older than us. They were in a swinger lifestyle for years. And they acted as our mentors, pointing us to "Lifestyle" web sites to find others like us, interested in more exciting adult activities. They said Jan and I are not ready to have sex together with them, because it's just too emotionally charged. So, we have to go look on our own, until we're "more mature". You would think at our age with grown kids, we would be considered mature. But, I guess that's a relative term.
We checked into one of the web sites they recommended. It has profiles of the registered users, like a dating site. We could post pictures for both public view by everyone who checks the website. And we could add other pictures to private areas, allowing only specific users to see them.
Most of the public pics we saw had faces hidden for anonymity. We realized that's a prudent move. We wouldn't want our kids, relatives, or co-workers finding out we want to have sex with others. Of course, if anyone did identify us on this web site, that means they're exploring it, too. But, there's something about the possibility of our kids knowingly reading their parent's sex interests here that seemed uncomfortable.
Jan and I sat together, reading through dozens of the profiles with text descriptions of users likes and wants in the lifestyle. These were all over the place with just about every sex activity imaginable! There were plenty of single guys, of course. Some gay, some straight, some Bi, and all races, sizes, and ages. There were a few single women, too, equally diverse. And there were plenty of couples' profiles, showing and describing husbands and wives (or boyfriend/girlfriend) together.
The profile details described interests and desires of everything we could imagine! There were those who wanted to just watch. Those into just "soft swap' or couples playing with just their own spouse alongside others doing the same. Most couples were into "full swap", meaning they wanted us to switch spouses. There were descriptions of interests in oral, anal, BDSM, choking, humiliation, ... everything! And the surprising part was: these weren't just people into inflicting things on others. Some people (male or female) WANTED to be choked, tied, or humiliated!
This was like an "all you can eat" (pun intended) buffet of sex!
We also noticed that these user locations were all over the country and around the world. So, while the web site advertised millions of users, geography and travel time to meet anyone would drastically reduce that to a manageable number of potential partners.
Reading all of the different fetishes in dozens of profiles got both of us thinking. As we read them together, Jan would comment "There's no way I'm letting someone choke me!" Or I would say "I can't see myself being comfortable around another guy who might like ME more than you." And Jan added, "I'm not Bi, either, so the Bi women are off the list."
We finally started writing our own description of who we think we are and our interests. We're both straight, interested in full swap, to watch each other in "same room" sex with another partner, and insist on safe sex (condoms)! We would like what we THOUGHT was rather "normal" sex with another partner. But we realized our idea of normal might not be as common as we believed. I guess we had too many filters on our porn selections!
We created a new e-mail address we could both access, and we would use that as our contact address. This would ensure we both knew what was being said in the e-mails.
Now, with our limited selection of edited pictures ready and some text descriptions of us, our likes, dislikes, and definitely nots, we created our user profile, ... and hit "post"!
This was an exciting time for us. We had just posted a public profile with some attractive pictures of us, advertising that we wanted to have sex with another couple! We could hardly wait for the e-mails to pour in asking when and where! So, we waited... and waited... and waited...NOTHING! ...really, ...after just minutes. But, just the thought of doing something like this was exciting.
On our profile, we checked a box to block the thousands of single-guy profiles from contacting us. We realized single guys would jump on any offer of sex, anytime, anywhere. I think if we allowed single guys, we could have someone knocking on our door by midnight tonight for a chance to bang Jan.
Jan said it was only fair that we block the single women, too (although, there were not very many of them). So, only couples could see our profile. But, still, you would think on a site like this there are couples as horny as us, just waiting to jump into bed with any newbies!
We actually did realize other couples have lives, too, with schedules, distances, previously arranged encounters, etc. We started selecting other profiles we liked of couples relatively near us. And I sent out some initial contact e-mails.
We knew this was going to be a process over days and weeks to get into the "Lifestyle" community with others. In reality, it took us over three months before we even had our first physical encounter with another couple.
We went over to Fred and June's house for dinner about a week after we posted our lifestyle profile. Our newfound knowledge of the fetishes and our profile were the topics of discussion that evening.
Fred started with asking, "What did you think of the web sites?"
Jan said, "We started with the one you recommended. After reading profiles, I said 'WOW! I thought those were just in porn movies!' I never realized people actually WANT to do some of those things,... for FUN!"
June said, "Don't think everything you read is always true. And even if it is true, some are not really into some fetish for WANTS or FUN. Some people are a little damaged, and have NEEDS, whether to feel it or inflict it. Just focus on getting into this with the attitude of 'You're here for YOU, not them.' Don't get pulled into doing anything you don't like. The rule is ALWAYS 'No, means NO!', and try to keep Ted near you. Protect each other, and walk away from anyone who says otherwise."
Fred said, "June's right. You need to be there for each other. Ted can act as a safety valve for you Jan, if you have a few drinks, and a guy tries to push you the wrong way. And I've found June helps me a LOT, because woman always have an easier time 'getting the party started' than us guys do. She usually includes me in her flirting set-ups, because we have our same room rule."
I said, "The same room rule was something we have in our profile, too."
June said, "There have been a few times we went separate ways. But, those are the exceptions."
Jan asked, "Why would you make exceptions?"
June said, "Oh, you wait, honey. There will come a time when the itch is just too powerful, and Ted's not handy. Or Ted finds himself cornered with a once-in-the-evening opportunity, while you're heavily into your own flirting elsewhere at a party. So, who wins? And the answer is you can BOTH win, as long as you're safe and with each other at the end of the evening."
Fred said, "The first time we went to a lifestyle party, it was at a large house, with a lot of rooms. I asked June about our 'same room' rule. She insisted, 'We're sticking to that rule!' She wanted to be with me when I'm with another woman."
June said, "I know where this is going. There was a really hot guy, Keith at that party. I know all the women wanted him."
Fred said, "As people started drifting off to bedrooms, I looked around for June. I found her alone with Keith. They were standing in a bedroom, passionately kissing. She had his cock out, and in her hand stroking him. I thought to myself 'What the fuck about our rules?'"
June said, "That's what I mean, Jan. When Keith came on to ME, I just couldn't resist!"
I asked, "What did you do, Fred?"
He said, "Remember! You want to have fun, so you want her to have fun, too. Right? Don't ruin the moment. But, I decided to exert some control, and have some fun of my own. She was wearing a short black cocktail dress that evening without bra or panties. I stepped up behind her, lifted her dress up until she raised her hands and had to let go of his cock. I took her dress off over her head as she stood looking at Keith, leaving her standing there in just her high-heel boots."
June said, "I was so into Keith and our kissing, I didn't even realize it was Fred taking my dress off. When I did realize it was him, I thought, 'Oh, shit. I owe him now.' But, he just laughed and calmly walked away with my dress saying, 'You'll have to find this later.'"
Fred said, "Then I left them alone. I knew June really wanted him, and why spoil it. So, I took her dress with me, as I went looking for another woman there to play. I found Maggie. I was telling her about Jan and the dress. She laughed about it, took Jan's dress from me, and gave it to her husband, Dan saying 'Here, make her earn it back.' Then she took me to the Master bedroom."
June said, "I went down on Keith, and we fucked on the bed. It was everything I wanted. When we were done, I found it rather exciting, walking around the house naked looking for my clothes. I found Fred with Maggie. But, Fred said to check with our host, and I'd have to work for it. I ended up sucking and fucking two more guys, before the second one told me to check with Keith!"
Fred laughed. "After those two fucked, she started looking for me. When she found me in bed with Maggie, I told her to go find our host. But, Dan decided to play 'Keep away' with Jan's dress."
June said, "I knew them turning me into the 'house slut' that night was payback for his no 'drama'. Fred and I left that party together. And he fucked me in our bed that night, too. But, I think I got the best of both worlds: I got Keith, ... twice, AND my best lover!"
Fred laughed, "She told me she had fun."
June said, "It's always my choice to have a fun evening. And playing that 'Find your clothes' game added an interesting twist."
For the rest of the evening, Fred and June gave us more anecdotes and a few pointers to improve our online profile. Jan and I also shared a few stories about our own sex experiences. We didn't play side-by-side as we did when they first told us about this lifestyle. But, it was the kind of fun and exciting talks you don't have with your normal "vanilla" friends.
Our first real experience with another couple came after three months. We exchanged a few e-mails and set a date to get together for dinner and sex with Jay and Katie. It was a "same room" session with the four of us. Jan said she enjoyed watching me go down on Katie, and Katie sucking my cock. Jan usually sucks, takes breaks, and doesn't go for longer than 2 or 3 minutes before wanting to stop. But, Katie was a very enthusiastic cock sucker, just bobbing her head non-stop, on and on, and on! I finally stopped her and fucked her in front of Jan, ...twice that evening.
Jan later said she had trouble with Jay, because he wasn't very big. She barely felt him when he was in her. So, her experience wasn't as rewarding. But, she wasn't turned off by the whole situation, either.
Our next encounter with Rick and Charlene was almost the opposite. We met them at a lifestyle group meet-up at a bar. Jan was flirting with him, and enjoying his attention. Later that evening, we were alone with them in a bedroom. Jan knelt beside the bed, and I watched her start sucking his better endowed cock (better than Jay's, at least). Then they switched places, and I could watch his cock pounding into her as she moaned to her orgasm.
All of that was going on beside me with his wife. And I was having trouble focusing on pleasing Charlene. I did go down on her, and I fucked her. But, truth be told, I was having more fun watching Jan with Rick.
These same-room foursomes have their drawbacks. You can't watch it all, while doing it all at the same time! It's like being a kid-in-a-candy-store. You want it all!
Over the next few months, we enjoyed a few more experiences with different couples. This isn't like we're just going to "fuck'em and leave'em". But, with Jay and Katie, Jan didn't want to get back with Jay. And with Rick and Charlene, at least one of them wasn't interested in a repeat session with us. It was probably Charlene who thought I was too distracted watching Jan with her husband.
That's another problem with this couples' lifestyle of sex: It takes FOUR to tango! When we're just getting together with one couple at a time, all four in the bed have to like each other, all four have schedules to sync, and all four need to want to do it again. Just syncing schedules between four people can put get-togethers off for a month or two!
So, Jan and I kept looking. And within another few months, we did encounter some of those "issues" Fred warned us about.
We met a couple, Brad and Cindy at one of the bar meet-up groups.
We were there for about three hours, and Jan spent almost half of her time there talking to Brad. She was really into his friendly and joking style. This wasn't one of her flirting targets, either, but someone she just clicked with personality-wise. And although I thought Cindy was really hot, she was into working the room, and spent her time wandering around talking to others. During Jan's lengthy connection talking to Brad, she invited them to dinner at our house to continue their talks. And Brad accepted.
Normally, we would just take names and contact info to discuss between the two of us later whether we liked both of them. Even though we might like the prospective sex partner, Jan might find the other wife offensive, or I might find the other husband too boring to endure the rest of an evening with them. Then we would send an invite via e-mail to the ones we agree on.
Jan's unilateral decision to invite them was almost like a "strike one" issue between us. I say "almost" a strike one, because I would gladly fuck the gorgeous Cindy. And I told Jan that, when she took a break in her talk with Brad to get another drink. But, I wondered if Cindy was chewing out Brad for the same unilateral decision-making. At the meet-up, I didn't get any signals from Cindy that she was even interested in me. So, this could lead to an awkward evening. In any case, they were coming the following Saturday for dinner ... and with this group, the expectation was for fun.
That Saturday, we had a very nice dinner at our house. After dinner, Cindy was helping me clear the dishes, while Brad wandered out to the deck with his glass of wine. Jan followed Brad to be a good hostess.
When Cindy and I finished clearing the table, I looked out through the glass doors to the deck. I saw Brad sitting there leaning back in his chair with his head tilted back. There was a tall plant by the door blocking part of my view. But, when I shifted to look around it, I saw Jan there kneeling between his legs, her head bobbing in his lap! Hmmm! Now THIS isn't same room, and was definitely a strike one or two issue!
But, as Fred advised, it's best to not spoil the moment. I wrapped my arm around Cindy's waist, and pulled her next to me. At first, she just looked up at me, expecting a kiss. But, I nodded toward the glass door for her to see. She giggled a little and said, "It looks like we're slow starters." as she pulled my head down for that kiss.
Jan and Brad came in and went to the living room floor, with Jan turning down the lights. I took Cindy to the couch, where we continued kissing, then I went down on her. Brad and Jan were on the floor making out behind me.
With Cindy's legs spread from my oral ministrations, I crawled into a kneeling position closer with my cock out. I asked her to hand me one of the condoms from the stand beside her.
Jan spoke up behind me, saying, "I had trouble getting one on Brad, so we agreed not to bother with it."
I looked behind me. Brad was lying on his back. Jan was already on top, straddling and bouncing on his cock, cow-girl style!
WOW! What about the safe sex rule? Without discussing it with me, Jan decided to go "bareback?" Is that now a strike two, or three?
I looked at Cindy and asked, "Are you OK with it?"
Cindy just sighed, "Well, they're both at it, so it's too late now. Go for it."
I slid my cock into her, and fucked her on the couch.
So, inviting someone for sex without consulting me, sucking a guy's cock with a closed (OK, "clear glass", but still!) door between us, and fucking him without a condom!
Jan and I had a few discussions after that episode!
We came away with: We'll keep trying with this lifestyle (after all, I did get to fuck Cindy), and Jan will try harder to think about me/us first in the future.
To be continued ...
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