Getting Horny

Getting Horny
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Brain in the mood, but body isn’t there yet? Here are some tips to get those gears goin’.
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Most people’s desire for sex changes from day to day in response to hormonal, relationship, and emotional factors ( 1 ). Sometimes, you might feel sexually aroused (horny), even when you’re not interested in having sex. At other times, you might want to have sex with a partner, but your body isn’t cooperating.
Even though your level of sexual arousal may be unpredictable, there are things you can do to help you get turned on more quickly. If you want to learn how to get horny, fast, read on for some tried-and-true methods.
Have a favorite sex scene? Put it on! Or maybe FKA Twigs’ pole routine in her music video for “Cellophane” really does it for you. Watch it! For many people visual stimuli can be very arousing ( 2 ).
No matter your gender, sexual orientation, or kinks , there’s likely to be audio erotica out there for you! Erotica apps such as Dipsea and websites such as Quinn are free-to-low-cost ways to get you horny without having to rely on your own imagination.
If you know you like porn and have a favorite porn site (ours are Crash Pad Series and Make Love Not Porn ), or a specific video in mind, put it on! Porn can engage your senses of sight and hearing to fast-track sexual arousal.
Slipping into something that makes you feel sexy can be an instant mood-changer. That might mean putting on your favorite underwear, those “fuck me” boots that have been sitting in your closet for ages, or that packer you finally bought! Wearing something that makes you feel hot and confident can be a great way to get turned on, fast.
What better way to get yourself revved up for the night ahead than having a sexy text exchange with your partner ahead of time? Tell them the things you’d like to do to them, that you can’t wait to have them do to you, or what you love about their body—and if they’re comfortable with it, ask them to do the same. Anticipation is the name of the game!
(It’s important to note that sexts should only be exchanged with people you know and trust—especially if you’re sending images. If you’re exchanging pics, consider leaving out your face and any identifying marks like tattoos, birthmarks, or distinctive jewelry. And never forward a sext you’ve received to someone else, as this is a consent violation.)
Are you turned on by sound? If you want to get horny, fast, upgrading your sexting exchange to good, old-fashion phone sex (if your partner’s on board, of course) can work wonders. Tell your partner what you’re wearing, what you aren’t wearing, or describe a specific fantasy—whatever you want! No time for a full-blown phone sex session? Try sending voice memos back and forth.
Maybe you’re really feeling yourself in that outfit. Why not document it with some sexy pics? Even if you don’t send them to anyone, just thinking about how horny someone might get from seeing your photos can be a huge turn-on.
If you’re looking for a date idea that can double as play, visiting an inclusive, sex-positive sex shop can not only get you thinking about sex, but can be a great way to open a conversation about your specific desires and (possible) kinks. Sex shop employees are there to answer your questions and give you guidance. Whether or not you end up taking home a pleasure product (or a few), you’ll have sex on your mind.
Alone or with a partner, find a favorite online sex toy shop and browse away. Especially if the thought of visiting a sex shop in person makes you shy, exploring options for toys and clothing online can be a great way to get super horny in the privacy of your own home.
Evidence suggests that exercise may increase sex drive and enhance sexual health ( 3 ). Doing exercise that you enjoy can also lower stress ( 4 ). Since stress has been found to decrease sexual desire, exercise may help to get you in the mood by improving relaxation and feelings of wellbeing ( 1 ). If you’ve got the time, a gym session, brisk walk, or dance party can all be great ways to help you reduce your stress and get in the mood for sex.
For people who are turned on by sound (not sure if this is you? Give it a try!), music can be a great way to get horny. Check out a sexy playlist , or make your own.
If you want to get horny, fast, it can be helpful to experiment with a variety of techniques. It may take some exploration, but with practice and patience, you can find strategies that help your body to get on board with what your mind wants!
Jamie J. LeClaire (they/them) is a sexuality educator, freelance writer, and consultant. Their work focuses on the intersections of pleasure-positive sexual health, queer & transgender/gender-nonconforming identity, body politics, and social justice. You can find more of their work at their website, and follow them on Instagram & Twitter.
1. Graziottin, Alessandra. 2000. “Libido: the biologic scenario.” Maturitas, 34 no. 1 (January): S9–S16. doi:10.1016/s0378-5122(99)00072-9
2. Chivers, Meredith L. 2010. “A brief update on the specificity of sexual arousal.” Sexual and Relationship Therapy 25, no. 4 (October):407–414. doi:10.1080/14681994.2010.495979
3. Stanton, Amelia M., Ariel B. Handy, and Cindy M. Meston. 2018. “The Effects of Exercise on Sexual Function in Women.” Sexual Medicine Reviews 6, no. 4 (October): 548-557. doi:10.1016/j.sxmr.2018.02.004
4. Edenfield, Teresa M. and James A. Blumenthal. “Exercise and stress reduction.” In The handbook of stress science: Biology, psychology, and health, edited by R. J. Contrada and A. Baum. New York: Springer, 2011.
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