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So, You’ve Got a Case of the Sick Hornies
If you’re prone to feeling extra randy when you’re coughing up a lung and can’t breathe out of your nose, you’re not alone.
If you haven’t seen Day After Tomorrow, I apologize, because I’m about to spoil it for you, but also it’s been 15 years, so kindly get over it. In it, Jake Gyllenhaal gets trapped in the New York Public Library after a freak, flash-freezing superstorm hits the Eastern seaboard, killing nearly everyone in its stead. He’s not alone; he’s trapped in there with the rest of his academic decathlon team, which naturally includes the way-too-sexy-for-this-movie Emmy Rossum. At one point, Rossum cuts open her leg doing some leading-lady shit. Of course, it gets infected; life comes at you fast during the apocalypse. She’s lying next to a fireplace with a fever, looking very much like someone who's about to die in a not-fun way, when she and Gyllenhaal begin furiously making out.
I remember this scene clearly not because I’ve seen this movie so many times, but because once while my family watched it, my stepmom got mad at the logic of this scene. (Nevermind there are wolves roaming a ship in another.) “Who wants to smooch when they have MRSA?” she demanded. My father, who actually had MRSA the year before piped up, “I would have,” which was deeply embarrassing to overhear, but whatever. The point is: Emmy Rossum got the sick hornies, which are a very real thing.
In case the literal if cutesy nickname didn’t tip you off, the sick hornies are a well-documented but little understood phenomenon in which people describe feeling extra horny when they get sick. Don’t believe me? Check out this reddit thread with dozens of people agreeing that this is for sure A Thing. Or this one. Or this one. Or this one. (It seems to be a big concern.)
Because the Internet is a weird place where you can find people who believe in almost anything, I asked people I know in real life about this seemingly counterintuitive occurrence. When I asked one friend of mine, Nate, if he gets the sick hornies, he replied, “Of course I do! Everyone does!” When I pointed him to my very scientifically sound Twitter poll where only about 45 percent of participants admitted the same, he scoffed in disbelief. My friend Emma said, “I usually end up having sex, and I have to focus on not blowing mucus on them the whole time, but yet I always do it anyway.” Is that somewhat gross? Yes. Do I admire her dedication regardless? Also yes.
Another friend of mine, let’s call her Sarah, described the symptomology like this: “The second day of any sickness, I get super horny. The first day is reserved for just feeling gross,” she said. Sure, fair. “It almost always ends up taking the form of furious masturbating because my partner definitely doesn't want to touch me, but I've had sick days where I end up masturbating four or five times in a day. I don't understand it, I just know my partner thinks I'm a super weirdo, but at least I get several solid orgasms out of it.”
Redditors, being redditors, have posited a lot of potential ideas about why this happens. “I always just attributed it to being bored since I can't do anything else,” said one guy. Another said he liked the combination of drugs and sex, so he was extra motivated to try. One guy had a simple explanation, that orgasms “feel good and kinda numb the pain for a short while so yeah. Easy way to have fun.” Makes sense to me.
When I first talked about this phenomenon with my boyfriend, we both hypothesized that there was something almost “special” about being sick, much like the feeling you get when it’s thunderstorming outside. (Storms also make people horny; this is another fact that science can’t prove but that reddit has backed me up on!) You feel a bit outside yourself, like being drunk or medicated, or in a costume, which heightens the horny factor.
Another, more scientific idea has been posited, originally by psychologist-blogger Dr. Shawn T. Smith, who combed through a ton of research after one of his readers asked him about the sick hornies. Of course, his theory involves rats and words like macrophages. Basically, he found one study from 1995 where researchers noted that in male rat brains, when macrophages attacked invaders (the sickness), “they release a cytokine (messenger molecule) called interleukin-1…[and] high doses of interleukin-1 increased male rats’ motivation to find a willing mate.” This seems like kind of a stretch, and doesn’t explain why women also claim to experience the phenomenon of being extra randy while sick. Also, you know, rats.
There’s also the possibility that you’re subconsciously trying to sleep with someone in order to increase your chances of them taking care of you, which makes sense from a biological standpoint. Oxytocin, the hormone released when people have sex, a.k.a. the “love hormone,” is known for its ability to bond us to other people. Going back to the weird world of Reddit, when asked the moment they knew their partner was the one, many people mentioned an instance of getting sick and being cared for.
Regardless, there is some hard evidence that having sex can cure headaches better than medication and can possibly even clear stuffy noses, so maybe it’s a purely practical impulse.
I reached out to several doctors to see if science had any answers beyond the rat study, but the one primary-care doc who got back to me wasn’t able to shed much light on the issue. “Well, that’s a new one,” he said. "I’m sure I could think it through and come up with one or more logical explanations, but it would be pure conjecture.” I guess people probably aren’t mentioning to medical professionals that they feel extra stimulated when they’ve got the sniffles.
Perhaps modern medicine will never be able to give us an answer, and the true biology behind the sick hornies will remain an unsolved scientific mystery forever. But no matter why it happens, just know you’re not alone in wanting to get it on when you’re fighting a fever; Emmy Rossum (and most of reddit) is with you.
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