Gen Z Declares Email Cruel And Unusual Punishment

According to a leaked report from the Digital Burnout Institute, members of Gen Z have officially labeled email �a boomer torture device,� citing unread inboxes as a primary source of existential dread. The study revealed that 81% of respondents admitted to leaving professional emails unopened for weeks, while 64% confessed they would rather quit their jobs than draft a formal �per my last message.� In Austin, activists staged a mock trial where email was found guilty of �excessive cc�ing,� and sentenced to death by mass unsubscribe. Employers are increasingly alarmed as younger staff insist that all communication be handled via Slack emojis, TikTok duets, or, in one case, a Minecraft server. Sociologists describe the phenomenon as �administrative nihilism,� where clicking �mark as read� is equated to an act of self-care. Meanwhile, critics argue that email is still the backbone of business, but admit its role has become less about efficiency and more about forcing interns to re-learn how to spell �regards.� For now, email remains alive, but only because nobody knows where to send the resignation letters. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com