Gay X
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Gay X
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Strike a pose. Before you go out, stand in front of the mirror and take a wide stance with your hands on your hips. Think Superman or Wonder Woman. Studies show that assuming what's known as a "power stance" can improve your confidence. These changes in posture can give you a mental "boost." [1]
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Try the "victory" pose. Put your arms in a "V" over your head. [2]
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Stretch out in your seat or cross your legs and put your hands behind your head. [3]
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Hold these poses for about 2 minutes before going out to the bars (or doing anything stressful). [4]
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Pay attention to how you look. This isn't to say that you can only attract a guy if you look good. Rather, this is about making yourself feel good. If you feel good, you'll have more confidence.
Try dressing in clothes that you want to see yourself in. If you've always wanted to wear a suit, go out in a suit. The point is to wear something you associate with power and confidence. [5]
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Think about other qualities you want to have when you're looking in the mirror, even if they're not physical qualities. For example, maybe you want to be more charismatic or funny. Once you identify things you want to improve, you can start practicing. [6]
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Expert Source
Imad Jbara Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
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Take the pressure off yourself. You're not trying to impress every guy at the bar, you're trying to find the guy that impresses you. Focus your attention on looking for the guys you want to approach. [7]
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Practice your confidence. Gaining confidence will take time; don't expect it to happen overnight. But, the more you stick with it, the more likely it is that you'll become a confident person. [8]
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Expert Source
Imad Jbara Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
Feeling confident is only part of the battle. You have to act with confidence as well. It's a common opinion that people find confidence attractive.
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Go to a place where you can meet gay men. While it is possible to meet gay men at any old bar, you'll have more luck if you go to a gay bar. Not every guy in the place will be gay, but the numbers are in your favor. [9]
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Don't feel obligated to stick to gay bars. If you want to go to a bunch of different clubs in an evening, feel free to do so. The world is a more progressive place, but be careful. Some guys may not appreciate if you question their sexuality. [10]
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Approach guys that interest you. You might have to approach a lot of men to get a response. If you want to meet guys, you have to put yourself out there.
You don't have to approach a man every time you go out. Make sure you're in the mood to flirt and be flirted with.
Don't hit on every single guy you find attractive. You'll come across as disingenuous, and it may hurt your chances of meeting someone.
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Skip the pick up lines. Start with a simple "hello," or even a smile. Using a pick up line is bound to get you ignored, or worse, laughed at.
This doesn't mean cracking jokes or spouting off a witty one-liner is out of the question. Quite the contrary: if it's original and you're saying it honestly, go for it. [11]
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Be friendly. Once you've approached your guy, just start talking. Try to let the conversation happen flow naturally and just keep it simple. Don't try too hard to seduce him.
Don't play games. If you like the guy you're talking to, then let him know you're into him. [12]
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Talk about shared experiences. If you're dancing at a club, talk about other places you like to go dancing. Invite him along. Keep the conversation fun and easy. While it's good to ask questions, don't interrogate him. Let the conversation happen naturally. [13]
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Make sure he likes you. You don't have to come right out and ask him. Pay attention to his body language. If he's following your body with his, and maintaining eye contact, it's pretty clear he likes you. [14]
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Prolonged conversation is another good sign. If he doesn't look distracted and isn't trying to find ways to get away from you, assume he's interested. [15]
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Ask for his number. Be simple and direct. No need to dance around the topic or make a big deal about it. Ask him out for coffee, ask him to go dancing. Just make sure you keep talking once you have his number so you don't give him the wrong impression. [16]
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Prepare yourself for the eventuality that some guys may say "no." Even if you had a nice conversation, they may not want to move things further. That's okay. Everyone encounters rejection. Don't let it scare you away. [17]
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Follow up with him. You don't have to ask every guy you talk to for his number. But, if you've gone through the trouble of approaching a guy and you end up getting his number, follow up with him. Invite him out for that coffee, or let him know you'll be going out with your friends. He may want to join.
It's possible that he won't respond to you. If he does, maybe you'll find that the two of you don't have much in common, or the attraction isn't there anymore. Either way, be respectful.
There is a boy in my class who is a good friend, but he wants to be more than that. What should I do?
Do what feels right to you. If you're not bi or gay, just tell him. If you are, then think about how you feel for him. If you don't like him romantically, you can just tell him. If you aren't sure, just tell him that you need to think about it. You don't need to rush figuring it out. Take your time.
You can't always tell that a guy is gay just by the way he acts. If you want to attempt to figure out without asking, try seeing if he romanticizes men or flirts with them. If you don't see things like this happen, find a way to ask him. Just don't come off as rude.
His size doesn't matter. Small guys can be just as great. If you want to know, though, try asking.
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara . Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. This article has been viewed 1,393,172 times.
"What I took away from the stories on here, was to be yourself and relax when you are looking for a relationship with someone. I liked the different ways of asking test questions & body language." ..." more
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This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara . Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 1,393,172 times.
Meeting gay guys is hard. First you have to determine if the guy you're interested in is gay or straight. Then you have to approach him and strike up a conversation. And that's assuming you have the confidence to walk up to an attractive stranger. Take some time to build up your confidence, and before you know it walking up to that cute guy at the bar won't be a problem.
Picking up a gay man can be intimidating, but if you play it cool, act confident, and be yourself, you've definitely got this! Approach guys who interest you with a simple “Hello” or a smile to get a conversation started. After you’ve introduced yourself to a guy, make small talk to get to know him a bit. When you’ve met someone you like, be honest and tell him that you're into him. If you’re unsure whether he likes you, see if he makes eye contact, which is a sign he’s into you. Once you feel confident he likes you, be direct and ask whether he wants to do something together, like dancing in a club or meeting for coffee. Don't forget to ask for his phone number so you can stay in touch. For tips on how to follow up with a guy after you’ve got his number, read on!
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Men use signals like foot tapping when cruising for gay sex in public.
Aug. 28, 2007 — -- While many Americans may only be vaguely familiar with the idea of "cruising," there is a secret world of sex between men that exists in public places across the country.
The police officer who arrested Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis airport for allegedly looking to engage in gay sex wrote in his June report that he "recognized a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct."
Craig tapped his foot up and down and swiped his hand underneath the bathroom stall in which the undercover cop was sitting, according to the police report.
Those actions led to Craig's arrest by Detective Dave Karsnia and the senator's guilty plea to a disorderly conduct charge. Craig told reporters today that he did nothing inappropriate and said his guilty plea was a mistake.
Public places like men's restrooms, in airports and train stations, truck stops, university libraries and parks, have long been places where gay and bisexual men, particularly those in the closet, congregate in order to meet for anonymous sex.
Over time, people familiar with cruising told ABCNEWS.com, gay men began using a codified system of signals to indicate to others that they were interested in sex. In an effort to curb lewd acts in public — or as some gays argue, in an effort to persecute gay men — undercover police began sting operations in places known for sex soliciting and employed the same codes.
"Tapping of the foot is pretty standard for men who cruise in toilets," said Keith Griffith, owner of
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