Gaped Hole

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Gaped Hole
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by
Al Wardell
July 21, 1988 August 20, 2021

Things to do in Chicago for Wednesday 8/24/2022

Chicago’s alternative nonprofit newsroom

The July I Reader article called “Child in the Streets”, may succeed as Faulknerian literature, but it does not succeed as journalism at any level.


First of all the only audience who could possibly understand what Timothy went through as a child of the streets would be the Reader’s gay audience. The gaping holes that mar this piece could only be filled in by gay and lesbian readers who have faced an adolescence characterized by the ostracism of family, school, church, social institutions, and the criminal justice system.


Timothy’s string of dependences on drugs, the occult, and finally Christian fundamentalism is interesting and sad. However, Kitry Krause’s account of Timothy’s painful, self-destructive journey provides no way for the Reader audience to interpret or understand this phenomenon which confronts all too many gay and lesbian youth.


What was left out? What would give this character study some meaning? What would enable the reader to understand Timothy’s experiences on Chicago’s north side?


1–analyzing those elements in society which force gay and lesbian adolescents out of their homes, their neighborhoods, their schools, and their churches.


2–presenting the overall attitude of the gay and lesbian community toward bars like the New Flight and lives like Timothy’s.


3–presenting the efforts of gay and lesbian organizations like Horizons Community Services, the Illinois Gay & Lesbian Task Force, and others to deal with the problems faced by gay and lesbian youth.


4–revealing the efforts of Christian fundamentalist groups to bar gay and lesbian people from their social service programs.


5–exposing the fear of many gay and lesbian organizations to allow participation by gay and lesbian youth in their activities and social services. (Because of society’s stereotype of gay and lesbian citizens as child molesters.)


These are the elements that are missing from “Child in the Streets.”


They are not interesting little side issues. They are key and central facts–all of which were ignored by Kitry Krause.


1. Beverly Johnson-Biehr, Superintendent of Curriculum for Family Life and Sex Education in the Chicago Public Schools has said that next to pregnancy, the most difficult issue a teenager faces is adjustment to sexual orientation. Dr. Joseph Harry reported to the National Institute of Health’s Conference on Teenage Suicide (1986) that gay and lesbian adolescents attempt suicide at a rate that is as much as 6 times greater than that of heterosexual youth. Although neither Johnson-Biehr or Harry have given the reasons for these assertions, as a teacher of 18 years, I believe I know what they are. Teachers, counselors, parents, ministers, police, social service providers are afraid to address issues of sex on one hand and sexual orientation on the other. “Straight” and gay teenagers have no basis for understanding their sexual feelings–especially if they are attractions to the same sex.


When the Illinois Gay & Lesbian Task Force gives presentations to the cadets at the Chicago Police Training Academy and at the Cook County Department of Corrections, we have to carefully explain the Kinsey scale of sexual orientation which these men and women should have found out about when they were in junior high school.


The question is, why does society hate gay and lesbian adolescents? Why is it afraid to discuss the issue of sexual orientation? Why will families, churches, schools, and other social institutions refuse to recognize that by not confronting this issue, they are pushing the gay and lesbian teenager out onto the street to look for answers–to look for connectedness–to look for the truth.

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2. About two years ago the New Flight, the hustler bar mentioned in “Child in the Streets,” tried to move up to the Halsted strip of gay bars. There was a furor in the gay and lesbian community.


In mentioning only the sleazy bars, Kitry Krause gives the impression that such places are a large or significant element of the gay and lesbian community in Chicago. It makes me think that Krause came in from New York or someplace to interview Timothy about what is going on in Chicago. Doesn’t Krause live around here somewhere?


Omitting what the gay and lesbian community thinks about bars like the New Flight was one of the journalistic sins of omission in this piece. Gay and lesbian people are often fathers and mothers. They are always members of families, and in many cases work with adolescents as I once did for eighteen years. The article asks questions about the adults who would allow kids like Timothy to run the streets or who would encourage their living off the streets. By omitting the efforts of the gay and lesbian community to address this problem, Krause implies that it is doing nothing.


3. Horizons Community Services has been providing a place for gay and lesbian teenagers to meet and socialize under adult supervision for many years now. Many youth come there on the point of suicide. When they find themselves in their natural habitat, the result is very often instant euphoria and self-acceptance. (Hans Christian Andersen describes this experience in “The Ugly Duckling.”)


The Illinois Gay & Lesbian Task Force has been trying to motivate the Chicago Public School System and others to reach out to gay and lesbian youth–so that they stay in school, and so that they feel like someone is on their side. We have criticized sex-education books which list homosexuality with “masturbation,” “prostitution” and “rape.” We have disseminated an educational packet for counselors on how to deal with gay and lesbian youth. We have presented testimony to school boards, Mayor Washington’s Chicago Youth Commission, counseling departments, and to other professionals in the area.


Our main message has always been that gay and lesbian youth are forced into the hands of unscrupulous people by their families, their schools, and their churches who desert them and refuse to provide them with a way of understanding themselves and their worth as human beings. Most gay and lesbian adults have arrived at an understanding of their worth through a complex set of circumstances–one of which (and this was true for myself) was the care of an older lover.


Will funding organizations fund the type of educational projects initiated by the Illinois Gay & Lesbian Task Force? The answer is no. It is seen as proselytizing. Horizons Community Services has had better luck at getting funding because they provide services, and (this is significant) not long ago they changed their name from Gay and Lesbian Horizons to Horizons Community Services.


4. Representatives of the Christian fundamentalist sect, the Salvation Army, told us (IGLTF) that they could not minister to self-accepting gay and lesbian prisoners. IGLTF and the Metropolitan Community Church has been in a battle with the Chaplaincy Council at Cook County Department of Corrections for the last five years. They do not want us or anyone providing positive Christian ministry to gay and lesbian prisoners. So far they have been successful in keeping us out.


When Janis Malone of Women And Children ReEntering Society (WACRES) was still alive, she took in lesbian women with children whom the Salvation Army had literally thrown out in the snow.


So long as Timothy hates himself for being gay, and so long as he denies himself the joys of safe sex, the Christian fundamentalists will take care of him and love him for hating homosexuality.


5. If there is one criticism to be made of the gay and lesbian community, it is this. Many are more concerned about what society is doing to them than of what it is doing to gay and lesbian youth. For example, Dignity, the gay and lesbian Catholic organization, does not accept members under 18 years of age. This is a desertion of gay and lesbian teenage Catholics.


It sends the message that Dignity is an erotic organization that should be rated PG, or R. I assure you it isn’t.


Other gay and lesbian organizations take this attitude as well. The result is that not only do their “straight” families isolate gay and lesbian teenagers, but their potential gay families treat them the same way.


While readers know a little more about gay and lesbian people than they did ten years ago, they don’t know that much more. Some background information is needed when writing about gay and lesbian people. Secondly, it needs to be integrated into the article to help clarify the issues.


“Child in the Streets” reads like it was written ten years ago when such articles were written for an audience that did not know or did not want to know that gay and lesbian people existed. Surely the caliber of journalism at the Reader has risen in the last ten years.


Illinois Gay and Lesbian Task Force


The issues you suggest are missing from my article are no doubt important to understanding the pressures on young people–and adults–who happen to be gay or lesbian. But Timothy’s story is more than just a look at what it’s like to grow up gay in our culture. (He says his parents accepted his preference.) Parts of his story are apparently typical of the stories of many of the teenagers living on the street, whether they’re homosexual or not–and many of them are not.


As I mentioned, there are a few agencies and organizations–and I am glad to hear of more–trying to help these young people. But 10,000 kids on the streets of Chicago alone suggests that something more is needed.

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butt plug , eating out , boofing

you might slip and we'd all be sucked into your huge gaping vagina


If you have ever watched porn, you may have come across something called anal gaping. This is the act of having extended anal sex with the goal of opening up the anus wide for a period of time.


Ken Melvoin-Berg, Kinkly , June, 2015

 

 

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The verb gape is recorded as early as the 1200s, first referring to the act of opening the mouth and later expanding to refer to anything opening wide.
Which means gaping has, like so many other words, taken on sexual slang senses, where it refers to an enlarged, stretched, or relaxed anus or vagina.
As we mentioned above, gaping can refer to the act of opening wide …
By 1966, we see gaping asshole , a grotesque insult for a “dolt” or “idiot.” By at least 1999, however, gaping took on more positive connotations on the sexual front, with a gape slang for “fully relaxed anus.” Vaginas are sometimes described as gaping too. No inequality here. This may be desirable, as in the case of internet porn, or insulting, implying a woman is whorish.
Sex bloggers, kinky fetishists , porn enthusiasts, or other bedroom adventurers may speak of gaping anuses or vaginas . Anal gaping , in particular, is a practice among gay men.
I want to make Creme Brûlée tonight but I don’t have any heavy cream, fuck me in my gay gaping ass.
— JerKro @ (@flybyjerry) May 10, 2018
Then, of course, there are the many non-sexual uses of the word, often referring to a mouth gaping open in shock or surprise. Holes, physical or conceptual, are also often described as gaping .
Welp, Interstellar was way too good for me to handle. My mouth was gaping open for the last 30 minutes.
— Andy Larsen (@andyblarsen) March 27, 2016

This is not meant to be a formal definition of gaping like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is
rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of gaping
that will help our users expand their word mastery.

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What happens with the gaping holes that are left behind?
Subreddit for popping addicts and the pop-curious. Blackheads, pimples, cysts, abscesses, and more.
Ok, this sub has kind of sucked me into watching... everyday.
Seen a lot of vids where blackheads are removed, leaving behind holes. Some of the holes look to be about pea- or even marble-sized.
So is anything done to/for those holes? How long before they shrink back to normal?
If there is not a lot of scar tissue around a hole and it is pretty deep, the body will fill it with granulation tissue, which is disorganized "filler" tissue the body replaces slowly with more organized tissue in the weeks and months following injury. If the wound is very deep, the granular tissue can grow very fast, and loosely and completely fill a big hole in a couple weeks.
For the first couple of months after filling in, the healing site won't be as astrong or elastic as fully healed skin. This usually applies to pretty deep and big holes, like when a punch biopsy is used to remove a cancer or a really deep cyst. Smaller holes fill with tissue and reorganize pretty fast.
Here is a discussion of how a big open hole heals after cyst removal from a surgical office, for a type of cyst where it is preferred to leave the hole open so the cyst does not reform during healing.
When people pop out a blackhead or a little cyst and the hole doesn't close again afterwards, it's usually because there is a lot of dense and fibrous scar tissue around the hole keeping it in that shape. That's why there's a lot of information that says not to poke or squeeze pimples, because you create scar tissue at a site where otherwise it would probably go away on its own and fully heal.
I get very deep, painful, nodular cysts that will almost never go away without being mechanically removed, so I have to do minimal damage extractions that leave a little hole that my body heals up. For me, they heal completely as long as I get to them before the constant irritation of the cyst in my skin forms a scar around the cyst, which eventually becomes an ice pick or boxcar scar for me.
It will seal up if left alone. I had a wart frozen off my leg a few years ago. Doc accidentally slipped and froze some healthy skin around it too. Ended up with a marble sized hole in the side of my calf. It took almost a year to fill in and kept healing/curling into itself and a curled scab would peel out. It’s fully sealed over now but is shiny like a scar and no hair grows on that patch. I hate when something brushes it as I have no real sensation so it’s freaky to see something touch it but feel nothing or shaving my legs goes like FEEL-blank space-FEEL.
Out of curiosity, have you ever put an ice cube on the scar? If you can feel that, there is the ability to feel pain there. But if not you may have some nerve damage there
Blackhead holes are dilated pores. Once the plug is out, they usually shrink back up to almost normal. Sometimes the scar left behind is called an “ice pick scar” but this only happens if the tissue around the spot is damaged by inflammation. If it’s just a clogged pore without damage, and the person in young, it’s not a problem. That’s why they tell you not to pick and not to do it with dirty fingers at least. Infection and Inflammation leads to scars.
I think they’re big enough they actually use a few stitches to close them
I think enlarged pores will just naturally return to a reasonable size. Gapers left by abscesses or cysts and packed with surgical gauze and heal from the inside out.
I had a piece of my back carved out due to infection. About the size of a toonie. They packed it at first. Then it grew a strong enough skin but I swear I could feel a gap if I squeezed my shoulder blades together.
It's been almost a decade and I have a little concave scar. I get a bit of buzzing there once in a while.

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