Gape Girl

Gape Girl
Suicide Hotline Gets New, 3-Digit Number
A Trainer Shared His Top Tip for Bicep Workouts
Noah Schnapp Confirms Will Byers' Sexuality
The Best 5 Stretches for Airplane Travel
34 Gifts Your Groomsmen Will Actually Keep
The 24 Best BDSM Toys to Kink Up Your Bedroom
What to Know About Anal Fisting Before You Try It
Gigi Engle
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
10 Warning Signs That You Have a Toxic Parent
22 Secrets to Giving Mind-Blowing Oral Sex
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Men Are Hiring Sex Workers to Beat Penis Shame
This Porn Can Teach You to Be Better in Bed
My Boyfriend Wants Women Half My Age
Why Genitals Are Darker Than the Rest of the Body
What It's Like to Have a Scat Fetish
123 Nicknames for Your GF, Wife, or Partner
A Beginner’s Guide to Topping During Sex

Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. We may earn a commission through links on our site.

This kinky activity takes a whole lotta practice.
As anal play becomes less taboo for people of all genders and sexualities, it makes sense that folks are curious about all kinds of booty-related activities out there. That includes anal gaping, a practice you might encounter in more ~extreme~ forms of porn. If you're curious about what an anal gape is, welcome! We have the information you need.
Anal gaping is the practice of creating a temporary “gape” in the anal opening, which can be appealing for a variety of reasons. The two main things that get people out of of gapin’? One, it can help folks tap into power dynamics in kinky Dom/sub relationships; and two, it can stimulate the nerve-rich anal opening and anal canal in a big (literally) way.
If you’re scratching your head and wondering what the hell I’m talking about, you’d be in the majority. This is a practice that many people have never heard of, or will ever try. Whether you want to try anal gaping or not, it's still fascinating to learn about.
Anal gaping is when a person uses hands, toys, and/or booty-stretching devices for anal penetration, for an extended period of time, with the intent of slowly stretching the anal sphincter so that the end result is a lasting opening, or "gape."
The idea is to “open up your rectum and give a clear view into your anal canal,” explains Daniel Saynt, founder and Chief Conspirator of The New Society for Wellness (NSFW), a kink-focused private members club in NYC. “The effects can last a few hours and create a feeling of fullness from within.” Even after the anal toy is removed, this sensation of fullness can last for the whole time a gape is present, which keeps the sexiness of a Dom/sub dynamic in full effect.
When you get a proper gape going, you "override your two anal sphincters to the point that it can stay open voluntarily,” explains Kenneth Play , a sex educator and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series . “This anal hack requires consistent practice and training. Just like yoga, in order for you to gain flexibility way above the inflexible norm is practice and repetition.”
Gapes usually last about two hours after you remove the object; eventually, the anal opening returns to normal.
Cool, so anal gaping is getting your butthole stretched out with toys/hands/devices. But how do you actually do this?
First, experts recommend gathering plenty of anal experience before you dip a toe into gaping. "Anal gaping isn’t something for those new to bottoming," Saynt says. "It takes time and preparation to get yourself relaxed and stretched enough to present a proper gape."
You can start by training the anus. You can’t just go sticking large objects up a bum and expect all to be well. Instead, use progressively bigger dildos in the anus in order to teach it how to expand and stretch around bigger objects. (Play suggests using this anal cone for first-time gapers.)
The question is, how do you know you've successfully gaped? Well, you will need a mirror if you want to take a peek after the object is out of your bum. If you don't want to see it for yourself, your Dom (or the top, depending on the dynamic), can always let you know if you've gained a successful gape.
This practice takes a lot of time and patience. “Anal gaping is both functional and mental and because of that, the reflex of full relaxation needs to be mastered,” says Dr. Evan Goldstein, MD, an anal surgeon, sexual health expert, and founder of Bespoke Surgical . This means learning to breathe into your body, be fully present, and begin to master the squeeze and release of the anal muscles.
When people are using anal gaping in a Dom/sub dynamic, the submissive might want to have an anal gape to express devotion to the Dom. “The gape is visual proof of how much he can take up his rump as a display of devotion to the power exchange dynamic," explains Mistress Kye , a kink specialist and educator. "For example, the bigger the dildo he can take, the more of a submissive he is."
Another common reason submissives are into gaping is the desire to be a “woman” and have a "vagina," Kye. Now, having a vagina does not automatically make you a woman, of course, but in this particular context, the desire is to be feminized (and often sexually humiliated). Problematic, yes, but what happens between consenting adults is none of our business. "This is the mind/body connection for them into their feminine shadow self, who is a vagina-haver,” Kye explains.
In psychological theory, the shadow side refers to the “darker” side of one’s personality. Much of our sexuality falls within the shadow self, because it is taboo. When we play with gender expression in sex, we are exploring desires that aren’t considered “socially appropriate.” Cisgender men aren’t “supposed” to want to be feminine—according to backward societal norms—and this fact is what can make it so erotic in the first place. This kind of play can be incredibly vulnerable and perhaps a bit problematic, but a lot of what makes certain sex acts hot is the very fact that they’re problematic. As long as you're exploring things consensually, it’s alright to navigate through your complicated erotic roadmap.
From a physiological perspective, when done correctly and safely, anal gaping can be a pleasurable experience. “Not only because of the incredible amount of specialized sensory nerve endings in the anal canal, but, because the extended time required to accomplish a gape often fosters greater intimacy between partners,” Kye explains.
Some people take longer to gape than others and thus, everyone needs to go at their own pace. This is no time to rush. “If you experience excessive bleeding or feel extreme pain when stimulating your anus, pause and monitor yourself,” Saynt adds. “If bleeding continues, consider visiting a doctor.”
As with many BDSM activities, gaping is safe if you put in the time and patience to do it correctly. “If it's not strategically done—meaning via slow and steady incremental dilation—people can get anal tears, called fissures, and/or dilated veins, and hemorrhoids,” Goldstein says. “People can also cause significant trauma to the anal region, where they can actually snap one or more of their muscles. It’s not pretty, and hence why having an understanding of the proper mechanics is paramount to your success.”

All Titles TV Episodes Celebs Companies Keywords Advanced Search
Fully supported English (United States) Partially supported Français (Canada) Français (France) Deutsch (Deutschland) हिंदी (भारत) Italiano (Italia) Português (Brasil) Español (España) Español (México)
Suggest an edit or add missing content
Editors' Picks: What to Watch Now on Netflix
Hollywood Romances: Our Favorite Couples

by
Dan Savage
January 8th, 2020 April 15th, 2022
"I live in D.C. and want local news."
"Y'all are doing real local D.C. journalism."
" Washington City Paper has made me feel like I am part of the D.C. community."
I have a question about porn, and I can’t think who else I can ask that will give me an intelligent, educated answer. In modern porn, anal on women is gaining popularity. I’m a fan of anal with my boyfriend. However, in porn, it seems like the gaping asshole is a thing, a sought after thing, a desired thing. And I guess my boyfriend and I don’t get it. We can get quite vigorous when we have anal sex, but MY butthole never gapes open like that—my boyfriend assures me that when he pulls out, it goes back to its cute little flower-like effect. Why is the gaping asshole so popular? I promise this is not a frivolous question or just for titillation. We really do wonder: What gives? —Gaining Anal Perspective Entails Serious Question
It’s funny how a chief fear about anal sex—that your asshole would gape open afterward and poop would fall out while you walked down the street—became eroticized. (The asshole gaping open part, not the poop falling out part.) Did I say funny, GAPESQ? I meant predictable. Because a big part of the collective human subconscious is always at work eroticizing our fears, and the gaping-open, just-been-fucked, completely “wrecked” asshole many people feared inevitably became something some people found hot. And as more people began experimenting with anal sex—as anal went mainstream over the last two decades—people realized that the anal sphincter is a muscle and the secret to successful anal intercourse is learning to relax that muscle. Situationally, not permanently. You could relax, get loose, gape after, post the video to a porn tube, and then tighten back up. Now, not everyone thinks a wide-open, gaping asshole is desirable. And not everyone, in the immortal words of Valerie Cherish, needs (or wants) to see that. —Dan Savage
Honest question: If you, being a homosexual, don’t die from HIV, will you have to wear a diaper before the age of 42? Optional question: What does a prolapsed rectum look like? I bet you can describe it without doing an image search. —Sickening Homosexuals Are Malignant Errors
Honest answers: I know you meant this to be hate mail, SHAME, but I’m just thrilled someone out there thinks I’m not 42 yet. Also, I’m HIV-negative—last time I checked—but even if I were to seroconvert (go from HIV-negative to HIV-positive), a person with HIV who has access to meds can expect to live as long as a person without HIV. Also, a person with HIV who is on meds and has a zero viral load (no trace of the virus can be detected in their blood) cannot infect another person. So even if I were to contract HIV after all these years, SHAME, I would likely live long enough to die of something else, and, once I got on meds, I couldn’t pass HIV on to anyone else. And quickly: I’m way past 42 and not in a diaper yet, thank you very much. And while some people think a prolapsed rectum looks like a rosebud, I happen to think a prolapsed rectum looks like a ball of lean hamburger. And the first one I ever saw—and, no, I didn’t need to do an image search because it makes a real impression—was in straight porn, not gay porn. —DS
P.S. If you can’t think about gay men without thinking about our poops and the diapers you hope we’re wearing and our meaty prolapsed rectums, SHAME, that says a lot more about you than it does about gay people.
My significant other wants me to delete any NSFW pictures of my exes, but I don’t feel comfortable with that. I don’t have an emotional attachment to my exes or really look at these photos anymore, but I feel that old pictures saved on old computers aren’t doing any harm and deleting them won’t fix my partner’s insecurity. —Personal Images Causing Strife
Accommodating a partner’s irrational insecurity is sometimes the price we pay to make an otherwise healthy and functional relationship work, PICS, as I recently told another reader. But one possible workaround—one possible accommodation—is telling your insecure partner what they want to hear even if it isn’t true. Telling a partner who is concerned about safety that you’re using condoms with others when you’re not isn’t okay, of course, just as telling a potential partner you’re single when you’re not isn’t okay. But telling a partner that you deleted photos you never look at on a password-protected computer they can’t look at … yeah, that’s a lie you don’t have to feel too awful about telling. —DS
How long after using an oil-based lubricant do I have to wait before I can safely use latex condoms? Not right after, presumably. Next day? Next week? Next century? I’ve been experimenting with oil-based CBD lube for hand/toy stuff, but I’m worried about the timing relative to penetrative sex. —Oily Inside
“Oil and latex condoms do NOT mix, period,” said Melissa White, CEO of Lucky Bloke, an online condom shop, and a condom expert. “Using an oil-based lubricant with a condom can cause the condom to leak and/or break. And unlike water-based lubes, oils do not evaporate readily. While oil is absorbed over time, that absorption rate likely varies based on many factors, including age. Oiling up internally? Now we’re talking vaginal versus anal absorption rates! The bottom line: We have not found sufficient studies to issue a reliable recommendation on what an overall safe time frame might be. So here’s the deal: Oil or condoms—choose one.”
I would add only this: Condoms made out of polyurethane are more expensive, but you can safely use them with oil-based lube. —DS
I’m a straight guy who loves the female body—the look, touch, and smell. I’m in my mid-30s, I’ve never had a serious relationship, and I don’t know if I’m capable of falling in love. I’m exclusively into trans women, and I’ve kept it a secret because it’s nobody’s business. If I were in love, I’d make it public, but that hasn’t happened. I can’t help but feel like this is an addiction, and I’m ashamed of it. I’m sure I’m not the first straight guy who’s into trans women who’s written to you. Where do I go from here? —Straight And Struggling
While dating someone in secret isn’t impossible, SAS, it rarely leads to long-term love. Being kept hidden because you’re trans (or you’re gay or you’re big) and the person you’re dating hasn’t gotten over their shame about being attracted to trans people (or members of their own sex or bigger people) … well, it sucks to be someone’s dirty secret. And a healthy trans (or gay or big) person—the kind of person you might be able to fall in love with—isn’t going to put up with that shit. So it’s a catch-22: So long as you keep the women you date a secret, none of them are going to stay in your life for long. They’ll be either so damaged you want them out of your life or not damaged enough to want you in theirs. —DS
Email your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net.
We don't have one. Readers like you keep our work free for everyone to read. If you think that it's important to have high quality local reporting we hope you'll support our work with a monthly contribution.

Events: A heads up about City Paper events, from panels to parties.

This site, like many others, uses small files called cookies to help us improve and customize your experience.

Your browser isn’t supported anymore. Update it to get the best YouTube experience and our latest features. Learn more

Katie Morgan Clips
No Titty Porn
Fucking Teens These Days

Gape Girl

Report Page