Games Ofdesire
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Games Ofdesire
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The game of desire has a perfect score on amazon reviews! what are you waiting for?
“ Love love love! I bought the audible book and also the kindle version. It’s a book about defining yourself, and how that relates to your love life. She takes 6 woman and puts them through her system for becoming your best, most bad ass self. ”
— Rissa
your gamemaster, shan boodram sexologist + intimacy expert
meet the players you will be following in the game of desire
available everywhere books are sold & Now at Target!
“Forget what you think you know about dating—sexologist Shan Boodram is here to take you back to school. In her funny, personable book, she asserts that landing the person of your dreams starts with you…Boodram dares to be blunt, but is never unkind.”
Whether you pre-order or not, I’m here to help you. This workbook alone will improve your intimate relationships tenfold.
Shan Boodram is a certified sex educator and intimacy expert with over 35 million YouTube views alongside her mainstream coverage across ABC’s “The View,” MTV, The Steve Harvey Show, CNN, The New York Times, Entertainment Tonight. Cityline, The Rachael Ray Show, Forbes and Time Magazine.
Known by her community as “Shan Boody,” she was the relationship-expert host and a consulting producer for Facebook Watch’s, Make Up or Break Up and the host and executive producer of the Fullscreen series, Your Perfect Date. She has produced content for MTV, the US military, OkCupid, Esquire Magazine and the CBC. Boodram is the author of LAID, was a contributing writer for Freeform Network’s The Bold Type series, has written articles for Teen Vogue and Cosmopolitan.
Boodram is an ambassador for AIDS Healthcare Foundation and WomensHealth.gov. She is a member of the American Sexual Health Association and Trojan's Sexual Health Advisory Council. She is a certified sexologist and currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband where she is a full-time vocal advocate for healthy intimacy.
I was so nervous, my mind was going a mile a minute with insecure questions. Are these girls going to like me? Is Shan going to like me? Do I call her Shan or Shannon, we aren’t cool like that! Does she think we are all losers who can’t get men? Is it going to be some extreme makeover bullshit, like “sorry you’re just not pretty enough“ and that’s the solution? But the worst that could happen was that I would just end up single like I had been. So, here goes nothing.
I heard about Shan’s project because my friend sent me her Instagram post and told me that I should apply. I was pretty surprised to get the email from Shan that she wanted to hop on a call with me all of a sudden this thing became real. This was when I started to question if this was even something that I really wanted to do, but I decided to just keep going with it because there was nothing to lose at that point.
When I first saw the submission post I almost just scrolled on. Had it not been for my oh-so-blunt child I might not have submitted. It saddened me that at a young age my son had seemed so very cynical of relationships. When Shan notified me that I’d been selected, I screenshot the email and sent it to my best friend, LiLi. Immediately she replied, “We both knew that spot was yours. Congratulations an expert agrees that you're the train wreck we both knew you were.”
If you are anything like me, you might be doubtful this book can help. You probably doubt that anyone could help your very specially-doomed case, because your love life is trash in the most unique way. Could a few exercises, workshops and experiments really help? But to quote Aristotle via Shan Boody, we are what we repeatedly do and we are who we consistently choose to be, so choose better.
What does taking these quizzes about myself have to do with me dating, let alone finding dick. Like Shan, girl ALLLLLLLLL these damn questions, let’s get straight to it. I got to know a lot about the other women, but I’m not trying to date them!!!! But once I reflected on knowing myself I felt more confident in presenting my true self, so I get it Shan, it was a process, but thank you!
I’m probably the oldest person here but I’m carefree and fun as fuck. I’m pretty close to moving to the countryside to find my husband because the men in big cities are all trash. So I figured I’d try this out first before I booked that plane ticket.
I know you may already have The Game of Desire, but hear me out! Why not gift a fresh copy to a friend and win some money in the process?
It’s the one year anniverary since the book went on sale. There is something that I REALLY hope all of you took from this book and in this video I share what that is…
This is the chapter that got left out of the book. It’s very raw, imperfect and a lil all over the place as I was orgnaizing my thoughts, but that’s also why I kinda LOVE IT!
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Do you have game
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BUY THE BOOK
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Do you have game
Turn On Trigger Quiz
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About
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While you are in your groups try to practice seductive, impactful communication with the following:
Try to remember 50% of the names in your group + one detail about them
Aim to speak for 30 seconds or less
Ask at least one followup question based on what someone else said
Practice empathetic listening (imagine what they’re saying is happening to you in real time)
Practice open body language (feet pointing towards the speaker, arms uncrossed, raised chin, content expression)
Practice power play with body positions (submissive, equal, dominant)
Try to use the words: you, because, new, free and instantly
Introduction: Everyone goes around says their name then 1 thing other people should know about them and 1 thing only people very close to them know about them.
Exercise 1: Turn to the person beside you, now imagine that you wanted them to make you the perfect cup of coffee or tea. Describe how they’d do it.
Exercise 2: Now with that same partner, describe how someone can love you the right way
Exercise 3: Examine the differences between the two exercises: was one answer more clear than the other? If yes, how so? Examine the differences between vague and actionable instructions. How can we communicate with more action around our intimate needs? How can we minimize the vague language that we use.
Exercise 4: How to love me. Get everyone to fill in two lines on their how to love me instructions (use a result from one of the pages 38-55). Everyone shares and everyone helps each other create actionable language. For example: my turn on trigger is desire, so if my partner wants to love me they need to understand that nothing turns me on more than direct/ dirty talk about how much they want me and what they want to do to me.
Exercise 5: Discussion - Review the questions on page 61. Can our exes help us understand our intimate selves better? Would you (did you) reach out to an ex to learn your intimacy blindspots? What are the pros and cons of this activity?
Exercise: Read the “cornerstone memories” of the 6 women featured in the book aloud (page 82). Do any of these sound familiar to anyone in the group? What is a cornerstone memory/ source fracture story? How can bad experiences turn into bad habits?
Exercise: each one teach one! Everyone goes around the room and shares one beauty secret that they think others should know
Exercise: turn to page 109 read the seductive styles out loud. After reading them, every person in the group has to identify a) one seductive style they already embody b) one they’d love to master
Exercise: turn to page 113 read the anti-seductive habits out loud. After reading them, people can share the story of an anonymous person in their life who they think may be guilty of that habit.
Discussion: do we honestly know what’s wrong with us? Do we want to know? Is there truth to the statement: other people’s opinions of me is not my business? What is the balance that has to be struck between being open to others’ opinions vs controlled by them.
Exercise: dating app update. Is anyone in the group on a dating app and open to having their profile critiqued? The group weighs in on pictures, about me, captions, etc… Alternatively discuss what you’ve seen work/ not work on dating apps? What makes you stop vs swipe by? What are some red flags you can pickup from someone’s “About Me.”
Discussion: what are some unique lessons that people in the group can share on how to be a better connector/ seducer
Discussion: Turn to page 147 go over the job listing exercise. Have/ would people do this why or why not? What is in your frozen five
Exercise: everyone in the group must share two of their job perks (something sweet and something spicy).
Discussion: refer back to the checklist listed above. Quiz people to see who has been practicing what during the discussion.
Discussion: are you who you want to be? Are you who you’re going to be? What is the difference and significance of those two sentences
Exercise: Everyone shares one “I will be ___________.” declaration based on something that they realize they’d like to work on/ embody
Audiobook enhancement with pdf to complete exercises ( https://www.harpercollins.com/audio/gameofdesire/ )
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