Gambling Housewife

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KCSC Radio Addiction Gambling and Family Can my marriage survive if my wife is addicted to gambling?
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While poker, sports betting and a blackjack game can be a lot of fun, it is important to see if anyone has developed a problem.
Gambling addiction is terrible and a person’s life can be destroyed. That’s why you should take the time to read some of the gambling dependency and how to know when it’s time to marriage survive if my wife is addicted to gambling.
First of all, look for warning signs from your neighbours. For example, the sign of gambling is family neglect in order to play.
This could lead to divorce and child neglect, which only exacerbates problems. When the addict is depressed and lonely, he or she will likely spend more time playing to fill the gap.
Furthermore, check for cash flow losses due to gambling debt for important items. Gamblers end up investing and saving so that they don’t care about themselves and fall into debt deeper each day.
Credit cards may be maxed out, and water bills may be unpaid due to dependency.
Third, gambling addiction can be empowered. All the player is into is about poker or the next bet and because of this, they can lose contact with reality.
It’s inspiration from there that makes it all the more difficult to leave. When the user doesn’t want to leave, it’s impossible for them to change.
Search for those who skip working days due to gambling. When you’re sitting in your house to play on the computer or sneak off at the casino to lose money if you’re working at it instead, then it’s time to worry about this person having a problem.
That’s the best thing you can do when you interfere.
Anti-social behavior , which is partially like family loss, may also be a symptom of gamblers. They retreat and are still anxious.
Removing social constraints helps the person to fill this gap with gambling, whether it is poker, sports or even bingo.
Our expert online gambling site reviews will help you find out who’s got the best odds, games, cash bonuses, deposit options and payouts, customer service, and a whole lot more. Welcome to KCSCRadio.com, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
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This article was written by and presents the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can check adviser records with the SEC or with FINRA .
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For many people, gambling is not just a one-time lottery purchase on their 18th birthday or a game of blackjack at a bachelor party in Las Vegas. Gambling, for some, becomes an addictive activity that depletes their bank account and ruins their marriage.  
Even if your spouse does not gamble every day and can afford to lose big at the roulette table, they may have a problem. Some of the telltale signs of gambling addiction include:
Pathological gamblers do not make good partners. Typically, spouses pay the price of their partner's gambling habit. This was the case for our client, “Susie.” Susie’s turning point came three years after asking her husband to get help for his gambling addiction. Susie gave him several resources, such as Gamblers Anonymous , and encouraged him to seek therapy. While there were many opportunities for Susie’s husband to get help, her husband refused to admit he had a problem. 
According to Karen McMahon, a divorce and relationship coach and founder of Journey Beyond Divorce , “The trap of a gambling addiction causes chaos, creating devastating financial, emotional and personal consequences. The most important thing you can do is encourage your gambling spouse to get help from a professional. While you can give them all the resources they need, you cannot make someone change. If they are not ready to address their problem, you are best served addressing your part in the unhealthy dynamic by focusing on what you need, including protecting yourself from their reckless behavior.”
This is precisely what Susie needed to do. Her breaking point came one Friday when she came home from work to find that her husband was getting ready to go to the airport. The impromptu travel was quite a surprise, as he had not mentioned any business trips. He informed Susie that he was going to Las Vegas. Ordinarily, she would have acceded, but the mounting debt and lies had become too much. She was compelled to speak up, declaring, “If you go, I won’t be here when you get back.” He replied, “I guess that is just too bad you feel that way. This issue is with you, not me.” It was clear that the eight years of their marriage could not stand up to the hold his gambling addiction had on his brain and heart. 
After he left, Susie immediately opened a bank account at a different bank from her husband’s and coordinated with her work’s human resources department to deposit her paycheck. The following week, Susie made an appointment with a matrimonial attorney and began divorce proceedings. Only then did Susie realize the true extent of the massive debt her husband had racked up. Throughout the divorce proceedings, Susie found out that her husband had five other credit cards with $78,000 in debt. She also discovered that her husband had taken out a $50,000 loan on his 401(k) and depleted the cash value on their life insurance policies. 
The debt that her husband amassed from his gambling was debilitating and put Susie in a precarious financial situation. However, the law can help protect spouses from their partner's bad financial behavior. Gambling can be considered wasteful spending and dissipation of assets.
According to matrimonial attorney and Certified Financial Litigator Lisa Zeiderman, Esq.: “Your divorce attorney can raise the wasteful dissipation argument and request an unequal division of the marital estate if your partner misused marital funds throughout the marriage. Specifically, Zeiderman advises that conducting discovery and depositions in cases where gambling is an issue will be essential to determine the amount of waste. Zeiderman has gone as far as to issue subpoenas to casinos and other related gambling institutions. Once you have discovered and accounted for the amount of monies lost to gambling, that amount should be added back to the marital pot as if it still existed and then equitably divided. Zeiderman advises that Susie will need to show that she did not condone his gambling and that she was not a participant.”
According to Avani Ramnani, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst with Francis Financial , “If you can no longer stay in your marriage due to a gambling addiction, you need to start collecting documents so that you can prove dissipation of assets.” 
Francis Financial is one of the “Best Financial Firms for Women,” according to Working Woman and Working Mother magazines. During the last decade at the firm, Ramnani has worked with hundreds of divorcing women and sees how gambling can create dangerous financial situations. Ramnani shares: “The best thing to do if you suspect your spouse has a gambling addiction is to get your finances in order, become financially empowered, and seek advice from a professional sooner rather than later. The more documents that you can collect, the easier it will be to prove your spouse’s wasteful use of marital money.” 
According Zeiderman, a managing partner of Miller Zeiderman, LLP: “If you do not have access to these documents, don’t fret. You can work with your attorney and financial adviser to sew together the quilt of your finances. The most important thing is to protect yourself. How soon you seek professional help can be the deciding factor between ending up with debt or saving yourself and preserving your financial freedom.”
President & CEO, Francis Financial Inc.
Stacy is a nationally recognized financial expert and the President and CEO of Francis Financial Inc. , which she founded 15 years ago. She is a Certified Financial Planner® (CFP®) and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) who provides advice to women going through transitions, such as divorce, widowhood and sudden wealth. She is also the founder of Savvy Ladies™, a nonprofit that has provided free personal finance education and resources to over 15,000 women.
Kiplinger is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site www.futureplc.com © Future US LLC, 10th floor, 1100 13th Street NW, Washington, DC 20005. All rights reserved.


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What do you do if you are married to someone who is caught up into gambling? He or she might even be going down the downhill slope of gambling away your marriage, family relationship, your home and everything you own and treasure.
What if YOU are the gambler caught up in this type of behavior?
These are issues we’re addressing in this article. We pray can help you in some way.
We know this is a tall order and that we can only scratch the surface of the subject. But, it’s important to do what we can to help those who are overwhelmed by it all.
We don’t want to approach this subject as if we are the experts here at Marriage Missions advising you. That is because frankly, we have very little experience in this area of marriage. We do, however, personally know of several couples that have/are dealing with this issue. But that is more of a distant view, rather than an up close and personal one. So we will facilitate within this article, the opportunity for others who are more experienced to share what they have learned.
Lets look at gambling in general to give you information you might find helpful. We’d then like to address the person who is married to the gambler (and other family members and friends). And then we’ll address the gambler, as well.
One of the “truths” concerning gambling that we didn’t know was brought up in an article titled, “Gambling’s Impact on Families.” It is put together by Ronald A. Reno. He wrote:
“A University of Nebraska Medical Center study concluded that problem gambling is as much a risk factor for domestic violence as alcohol abuse. Domestic violence murders in at least 11 states have been traced to gambling problems since 1996.”
Another article written by Ronald Reno (and posted on the Beliefnet.com web site) brings out the scriptural reasons why gambling isn’t something we should indulge in. He brings out the point:
“Jesus commanded, ‘ Love your neighbor as yourself ‘ ( Mark 12:31 ). Gambling, meanwhile, is predicated on the losses, pain, and suffering of others. For one to win at gambling, others must lose. For many, the ramifications attributable to their gambling losses are profound. Families touched by a gambling addiction are at greatly increased risk for such negative outcomes as divorce, bankruptcy, child abuse, domestic violence, crime, and suicide.”
Besides that point, the article brings out others as well, with scriptures to support them. To find out more, please click onto the link below to read:
After you recognize that there is a gambling problem going on within your family and that gambling can grow in its negative impact, what can the family do about it? Marriageuncensored.com had an interesting article posted on their web site that brings out the important point:
“There’s the failure of the non-addicted spouse and other family members to respond appropriately and helpfully to the situation. Now, don’t get me wrong on this. I understand that the person with the addiction is the one who must ultimately take responsibility and make the changes to get healthy. If you are the supportive spouse, I am not suggesting that you are responsible for the addiction or the havoc it’s wreaking in your home.
“I am suggesting, however, that the way in which you respond can either create an environment that will help your spouse beat their addiction, or it can contribute to and compound the problem. As the partner who is one step removed from the addiction, you will have a huge impact on how this will turn out —for better or worse.
“The tendency of many in this situation is to tiptoe around the addict and their habit. But while letting sleeping dogs lie may get you through the day, it will not bring about the results you desire long-term.”
In a web site article, “Tiptoeing Around Addictions” Dr. Dave Currie, with Glen Hoos, made the point that “DENIAL” is one of the “unhealthy ways that “people respond to their spouse’s addiction.” They make the point that the addict tries to deny that there is a problem. But:
“Their spouse, family and friends often get hooked into it as well. The spouse in particular may deny the extent of the problem. They may try to convince themselves that their marriage is strong enough to bear up under this pressure, and that the issue is better left alone.
“You’ve got to be willing to let go of the security of that fantasy, and face reality. The first (and often hardest) step is admitting you have a problem. The issue is there whether you admit it or not; accepting the truth puts you on the road to recovery. If you deny the depth of the problem, your spouse will have no compelling reason to face it either. If this is the case your situation is never going to improve.”
And then there is, “ENABLEMENT,” which is “denial taken a step further.” As Dave Currie and Glen Hoos write:
“It’s covering for the addict, protecting them from the natural consequences of their actions. Some examples:
• “The boss calls and asks the woman why her husband isn’t at work today. ‘He’s in bed, sick,’ she answers… neglecting to mention that the sickness is due to a killer hangover incurred the night before.
• “The wife’s gambling addiction has strained the family finances to the point where the bills can no longer be paid. Instead of facing the real issue, the husband arranges to skip a mortgage payment and opens yet another line of credit.”
It’s tempting to do this because it seems easier to do this than to face the truth. However, as it’s pointed out:
“What you’re doing when you cover for the person is removing their motivation to change. Maybe he needs to get fired to wake him up. Maybe she needs to go to the store and have her credit card rejected when she’s trying to buy groceries to realize there’s a problem here.”
“Instead of enabling, you’ve got to intervene. Whether that’s a one-on-one confrontation or some kind of a group intervention depends on what you’re facing. But you need to come to the point where you sit down and say, ‘Okay, we have a problem here. What are we going to do about it?'”
Another way that a spouse and family may tiptoe around addiction is that they turn to “ABANDONMENT” as a way to cope.
“They cover for the addict one too many times and have come to the point where they say, ‘You know what? You got yourself into this mess… now get yourself out of it!’ They wash their hands of the situation and leave their spouse to deal with the problem alone.
“It’s understandable that some people get to this point. After all, it’s their spouse who chose this road, and paying for their bad behavior gets old very fast. Nevertheless, if you’re in this position you’ve got to ask yourself how you want this to play out? Do you really want your spouse to get cleaned up and get your marriage back on track? Because if that’s what you want, you’re not going to get it by leaving your husband or wife to fend for themselves. They’re going to need your support and encouragement every step of the way.
“Somehow, you’ve got to suppress the urge to cast blame and point fingers. Instead of putting the problem between you, you’ve got to stand side-to-side with the problem in front of you and say, ‘We have a problem. It happens to be your addiction, but it’s our problem, and we’re going to solve it together.’ What a world of difference from the, ‘It’s your problem… deal with it!’ approach.
“This is undeniably tough, especially if your spouse is not showing a willingness to do the hard work of recovery. However, don’t mistake support for softness. Supporting your spouse may mean confronting them, refusing to cover for them, and perhaps even separating for a period of time while they work through it. But it’s got to be done in a context of love and encouragement, and an attitude that says, ‘We will do whatever it takes to get you healthy and to put our marriage back on solid ground.'”
Now, it’s true that you may have been there and done that. But it’s important not to keep allowing this addiction to keep going on in your home. That is because it will continue to erode your marital relationship until eventually your marriage will be totally destroyed. There is no doubt that help is needed —desperately!
“FLYING SOLO” is another temptation facing you in all of this. Dave and Glen write further:
“As in many other areas of life, pride can be crippling when it comes to dealing with addiction. Pride causes you to say, ‘We don’t need help. We can handle this on our own.’
“Most addicts require outside help to fully conquer their habits; and fortunately, help is widely available. Whether it’s Gamblers Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous —name the addiction, and there is likely a group to help people through it. And if there aren’t any groups for it, there are counselors, pastors, friends to walk alongside you. And there are helpful resources available that can really make a difference.
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