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1984’s George Whorewell
@EwdatsGROSS
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coolbutpoorguy
@coolbutpoorguy
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alexfromrematch
@alexfromrematch
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MY REALITY SHOW IS LIVE LINK IN BIO
@tanamongeau
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Hugh! McIntyre
@PopBangHugh
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🍬 Pixie Stix 🍬
@StixilFox
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"Pee after sex or you will get an HGTV."
[during sex]
Me: hurt me
Him: your metabolism isn’t what it was in high school and it shows
Me: wait
Him: you never lived up to your potential because you rely on talent instead of work ethic & immediately abandon everything you’re bad at because you’re afraid of failure
"Okay now let's do a silly one!" - me after sex
pee after sex or you will get a tgi friday’s
pee after sex or you will get an HGTV
me during sex: hurt me
them: you were never that smart you just were good at reading as a child so you were given special attention and it gave you a complex
me: wait-
them: you don’t try at school because youre convinced ur natural intellect will save you but u don’t have it
british people be having sex like:
mmmm yes splendid ah indeed scrumptious carry on good heavens i’m arriving
i’m tryna have sex so rough that the earthquake is shook
How parents go from “Sex is bad” to “I want grandkids”?
Shower sex is overrated fuck me in the microwave
Ya sex is fun but have you ever been happy for a week straight? Naw me either who tryna fuck
Sex is like pizza, if you're going to use bbq sauce you better know what the fuck you're doing
This girl told me she liked to be teased in the bedroom so we laid down and I said her new glasses looked stupid and she starts crying. wtf?
yeah sure love is love but I’m pretty sure douching ur ass for 2 hours to bottom for a top who you have to double text in order to get a one word response isn’t love, sweetie.
jake gyllenhaal is so weird i feel like the actual reason he and taylor broke up is because he barked during sex
My favorite sex position is when someone makes a playlist for me
This Father's Day, make sure you hook up with an older man who has the same name as your actual father.
when vegans have sex they ask to be artichoked. i will not be reading any replies to this tweet.
Yeah sex is great but have you ever had gay sex
i was having sex once and the girl said “cum for me” and i thought she said “comfort me” so i stopped n i hugged her
Girls be tryna have sex for hours... first of all sweetheart, I have asthma
sex is intimate and sacred. your body is a temple and you shouldn't share it with anyone who hates rick & morty
[undoes GFs bra first time]
"wow have you been practicing?"
don't be ridiculous
[me and dog exchange glances]
Featured 04/19/2018
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Sex-related tweets and memes that are impossible not to laugh at. Want more sex memes? Try Sex Memes That Are So Dirty You'll Need To Shower After , or perhaps Sex Memes That Everyone Can Relate To is more your speed.
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100 Funny Sex Memes That Will Make You Laugh
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Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.
Relationship
What is Marriage?
Approved By Angela Welch , Marriage & Family Therapist
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What Is Love?
Approved By Angela Welch , Marriage & Family Therapist
As much as we might like to do it, we don’t talk enough about it. Funny sex memes are a great way to get the conversation going without sounding offensive. They paint an accurate picture of real scenarios, and that’s why they seem engaging and exciting.
Share sex memes with your partner or friends to see if they enjoy funny sex memes as much as you do. Moreover, naughty sex memes make excellent conversation starters with your partner and posture you as amusing and playful.
Funny Sexual Memes, Dirty Sex Memes, Naughty Sex Memes- You name it; we got it. Continue reading to enjoy the laugh ride and have a good time.
1. When he asks you if you have any sex toys.
2. When she understands what is true productivity.
3. How you look at your girl 20 minutes into “Netflix and chill.”
4. When he starts kissing the neck before Netflix even loads.
6. When she says she likes intelligent guys.
8. When they say that they are getting that bread.
10. When he wants you to do all the nasty things you sexted to him when you were bored and lonely
12. When she’s watching him go get the towel thinking to herself, “hmmm, maybe he is different than the rest.”
13. When he says Netflix and chill, but you walk in, and he ain’t even got a TV.
14. When she says “go deeper,” but you have run out of poems.
15. When you almost died during round one, and he asks if you ready for round two.
16. When you shave everything and exfoliate your entire body for “What about tomorrow night?”
19. When he gives too many instructions.
21. When you are waiting for him to come back with a towel.
22. Always looking for alternate solutions.
24. When your loneliness becomes your best friend
29. When you start questioning your own reality.
31. When you are well-prepared for all that comes your way.
34. When their innocence surprises you.
37. Too early to be nasty in public?
38. It has been a tough couple of years
39. When you take it too literally.
40. It’s time to make a move or a movie?
45. If only there were a method to this madness
67. When you get the best of both worlds.
74. If you ain’t first, you’re last
80. Me trying to be sexy. Expectations vs Reality.
100. The force is strong with this one.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
If you are a sexually active adult, you have likely had an embarrassing moment occur during sex.
There are embarrassing moments in all human interactions, so it’s unlikely that you’re ten out of ten on every encounter involving nudity.
But don’t feel alone! The whole world is full of stories even worse than yours, and many of them are compiled in this thread responding to Twitter user @ eerrriiicaa , who admitted to waving a someone going down on her, like a tourist on a boat:
— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) March 11, 2020
Coronavirus won’t catch me slipping
— Kristine (@Krisssycakes3) March 11, 2020
I’m dumbfounded that “ruined everything” Ppl can’t control their orgasms. If a dudes fooling around with me all night for the first time, we sleep cuddling, and then immediately busts in the morning when we start to have sex, my ego is thinkin
– fantastic fool ✨ (@witcheryxx)
— Brandi Pellegrini (@brandi_1231) March 11, 2020
— SpackyHULK (@MTAKirk) March 11, 2020
tbh this kind of sounds fun erika you should hit him up again
— KAT (@wickedkittty) March 11, 2020
— Stillmatick (@Stillmatick) March 11, 2020
This same guy after sex once said “that’ll do donkey… that’ll do” and he’s scottish so he didn’t even have to put on an accent
— Josie Gibson (@josie_gibsons) March 11, 2020
So you did it Kitty style instead of doggy pic.twitter.com/ex93RAGLyj
— love, (@EmilyCC94) March 11, 2020
I once called a guy ‘bro’ during sex
— rebecca (@est94_r) March 10, 2020
— Naive Hippy Sheep (@DeanSearleSpeak) March 11, 2020
ok yall saying i didn’t lose my virginity then, you’re right i was PLANNING on losing it that day, i should’ve said “the first time I had someone in my bed, planning on having sex”
— ••• (@maleahisabela) March 11, 2020
Btw this started because as she climbed on I said, “well, well, well, look who’s back”
— Matthew B Gillen (@gillen_matthew) March 11, 2020
— Mallory Eden (@mallurrrr) March 11, 2020
one time I was getting head from a discreet guy and he told me not to touch him so I just clasped my hands together and held them to my chest pic.twitter.com/Zrig05Z60X
— limp wrist larry (@KevinTSimons) March 11, 2020
A guy I had a one night stand with thought that blowing hard into my mouth was sexy. All it did was hurt my ears and make my eyes water. He also kept licking my front two teeth
— ludacris malfoy (@poormanskesha) March 11, 2020
— MitchTank (@MitchTank) March 11, 2020
— megakabuterimon (@igotpwned) March 11, 2020
It was her first time ever and my first in like 3 years having sex. After she came, it was awkward for us both. I still don't know why the hell I did this, but I pressed my index finger against her clit and said "ding dong"
— srw Ⴟ (@weandourwords) March 11, 2020
A cop caught me riding my bf in the car butt naked at a church parking lot. Had to get out in shame and told him about the person he was looking for (robbery down the st) had ran past us. As he (FINALLY) drove away, he said in his speaker, “Jesus is watching” and laughed
— Lady Mormont is MY Queen!!! (@Ms_flickk) March 11, 2020
this isnt a sex story but with my first bf tried to grab my boobs while watching tv. i moved away and i said i didnt want to do anything and then he told me to leave bc his mom didnt want me over. i passed her on my way out and she asked why i was leaving so soon
— a true idiot (@welltheteais) March 11, 2020
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