Funny Messages In English For Facebook

Funny Messages In English For Facebook

On new year's eve while counting down the last 10 seconds, I lift my left leg so I'll start the new year out on the right foot. I've gotten to the age where if I see a coin lying on the ground I figure anything less that a quarter isn't worth the aches and pains of leaning over to pick it up. 8 0 ←Rate 01-06-2018 01:11 Comments (0) . 23 1 ←Rate 01-03-2018 05:54 Comments (1) . Jump toSections of this pageAccessibility HelpPress alt + / to open this menuRemoveTo help personalize content, tailor and measure ads, and provide a safer experience, we use cookies. If we aren't supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there? . Its Thursday or as I like to call it, Day 4 of the hostage situation. How do dragons blow out candles on their birthday cake? . By clicking or navigating the site, you agree to allow our collection of information on and off Facebook through cookies. It's so cold out I walked into my bank and the tellers were wearing ski masks . Learn more, including about available controls: Cookies Policy.FacebookJoin or Log Into Facebook Email or PhonePasswordForgot account?Log InDo you want to join Facebook?Sign UpSign UpThis page isn't availableThe link you followed may be broken, or the page may have been removed.Go back to the previous page Go to News Feed Visit our Help CenterEnglish (US)NederlandsFryskPolskiTrkeDeutschFranais (France)EspaolPortugus (Brasil)ItalianoSign UpLog InMessengerFacebook LiteMobileFind FriendsPeoplePagesPlacesGamesLocationsCelebritiesMarketplaceGroupsRecipesSportsLookMomentsInstagramLocalAboutCreate AdCreate PageDevelopersCareersPrivacyCookiesAd ChoicesTermsHelpSettingsActivity Log Facebook 2018. 26 1 ←Rate 01-02-2018 04:10 by Jake Comments (0) . .. 24 1 ←Rate 01-01-2018 04:21 Comments (0) . I saw a hipster wearing socks because its so cold. Since when does 2 to 4 inches of snow become a winter storm warning? Back when I was a kid, we just called flurries, and we complained it wasn't enough to even have a good snowball fight, let along close schools. Winter storm named Grayson sounds like it should be wearing a tweed jacket . Learn more, including about available controls: Cookies Policy.FacebookSign UpNoticeYou must log in to continue.Log into FacebookYou must log in to continue.Log InForgot account? Sign up for FacebookEnglish (US)NederlandsFryskPolskiTrkeDeutschFranais (France)EspaolPortugus (Brasil)ItalianoSign UpLog InMessengerFacebook LiteMobileFind FriendsPeoplePagesPlacesGamesLocationsCelebritiesMarketplaceGroupsRecipesSportsLookMomentsInstagramLocalAboutCreate AdCreate PageDevelopersCareersPrivacyCookiesAd ChoicesTermsHelpSettingsActivity Log Facebook 2018. 8 0 ←Rate 01-08-2018 06:25 Comments (0) . Funny Status Messages and Tweets Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter. It's just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms . Jump toSections of this pageAccessibility HelpPress alt + / to open this menuRemoveTo help personalize content, tailor and measure ads, and provide a safer experience, we use cookies. 17 0 ←Rate 01-08-2018 11:43 by MDS Comments (0) . 40 2 ←Rate 12-24-2017 18:25 by UncleBSolomon Comments (2) . Sort: Recent Oldest Rating. Its time for a new holiday, where people give gifts they dont want. 11 0 ←Rate 01-07-2018 23:08 by Depirts Comments (0) . characters left Read the Rules . Site Links Home Funny Status Messages Status Message Generator Chuck Norris Sayings Funny Dumb Laws Funny Humourus Quotes Depressing Quotes Recent Famous Quotes Wifi Names Great Deals TJ's Blog Companies that Suck About Tjshome Contact Us Privacy 1999 - 2018 Tjshome.com. Security CheckPlease enter the text belowCan't read the text above?Try another text or an audio captchaEnter the text you see above.Why am I seeing this?Security CheckThis is a standard security test that we use to prevent spammers from creating fake accounts and spamming users.Submit.. 43 2 ←Rate 12-29-2017 07:57 by Funny Comments (1) . Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire. 8 0 ←Rate 01-06-2018 02:44 Comments (0) . This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents' house . It was so cold that when we milk the cows we got ice cream. Submit your own funny facebook status message here: Name: Status Message: X says X is X was X has X . Cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag? Me: No, let's just keep it in the carton, ok? . Previous1234567Next Most Recent. 8 0 ←Rate 01-08-2018 09:31 Comments (0) . 1 0 ←Rate 01-09-2018 17:58 by markf Comments (0) 5a02188284