Fucking Son S Wife
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DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife had sex with my son’s best mate. She’s begging me not to throw her out but I hate her for what she’s done.
We’ve been married for 25 years and we have two sons of 18 and 22. I am 48 and my wife is 43.
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She has always been a bit of a flirt.
As the boys grew up she would welcome their friends into our home and flirt with them, too.
They seemed to find it funny and I didn’t mind too much.
My eldest son seemed very off-hand with his mum last summer.
When I’d ask him, he’d yell, “I don’t want to talk about it, Dad.”
My other son then behaved in the same way towards his mum so I figured it was down to their hormones.
Then my eldest came home from an evening playing snooker with a cut on his face and a black eye.
I asked him who had done it and he got very agitated and mentioned his best friend, a boy he grew up with. He’s also 22.
When I questioned him, my wife shouted, “Just leave it, will you?”
I asked her, “Do you know anything about this?”
She snapped, “No!” - but I knew she was lying.
When we got into bed, she broke down and admitted she’d had sex with our son’s best friend.
It turns out it happened when his friend called round when I was travelling with work.
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My wife had opened a bottle of wine, talked about how lonely she felt and eventually they had sex in our front room.
The worst thing was our son caught them at it.
He was obviously distraught and then couldn’t live with this knowledge so confided in his younger brother.
I’ve fallen out with my youngest for not telling me and my once happy family is now in tatters — and, of course, we’re all stuck together for the lockdown.
My wife is so apologetic that it makes me sick.
I’ve told her I want her out and to wait for the divorce papers.
DEIDRE SAYS: You’re understandably angry right now so it isn’t the time for making life-changing decisions.
Yes, your wife was very wrong to cheat with your son’s friend.
But turning your marriage on its head and splitting up the family would bring devastation all round.
You shouldn’t blame either son for being loyal to their mum.
It would have been the hardest of conversations for them to spill the beans.
A marriage of 25 years is a lot to throw away.
Talk about how you could heal and rediscover love and trust.
At least agree a truce until life opens up again and try couple counselling before you make any rash decisions.
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'My wife has been having sex with our son's guitar teacher and expects me to forgive her'
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Daily Mirror agony aunt Coleen Nolan gives her advice to a reader whose world has been turned upside down by an affair
I’m a man in my early 40s and I’ve been married for 15 years. I met my wife at secondary school and we started dating when we were 17, then got married when we were 25.
We’ve only ever been with each other and I thought our relationship was absolutely rock solid.
Over the years, our friends have been through divorce and affairs. We’d discuss them and feel lucky that we weren’t like them and had each other. We have two kids aged 10 and 12, and our life was really good.
So when I found out she’d been having an affair I literally couldn’t believe it. The guy she was sleeping with was my son’s guitar teacher, who I’ve never met, and she ended it with him when I found out.
The thing is, she wants to keep our marriage together, but I just can’t do it. I’ll never be able to trust her again because I feel I don’t know her any more, or I’ve never really known her.
She just says the opportunity was there and she felt sucked in and before she knew it, they were involved.
The only thing I feel bad about is our kids, who don’t deserve to have their family torn apart. What do you think?
I understand the guilt you feel over your children, but you can’t make this about them. If you stay with your wife for the kids and it’s not what you want to do, it’s not going to be a happy home for them to grow up in. No one will benefit.
You’re clearly still reeling from the shock, so I’d give yourself some time and space to avoid making any knee-jerk decisions while you feel like this.
I think counselling with your wife would be a really good idea because, even if the long-term intention isn’t to stay together, it could help you to make sense of what happened and why it happened, and also make a permanent separation easier to navigate and manage.
It could help you to understand your wife better and why she was vulnerable to this affair.
Maybe there is no way back for you, but it’s clearly important for you to get a handle on what went wrong.
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https://www.thesun.ie/dear-deidre/5308006/my-wife-had-sex-with-my-sons-mate/
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/my-wife-been-having-sex-23795554
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Fucking Son S Wife
