Fucking My Sister Stories

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Countering "going to do it anyway."

I recently completed a graduate course in character education in which we were required to carry out an "action project." For my project I chose to use character-based sex education to try to instill in my younger sister and her friend the self-respect, self-control, and courage needed to lead moral, fulfilling, and healthy lives.
I wanted to inform my 14-year-old sister Kathy about something that I unfortunately just began to take seriously: abstinence. Sure, I have always known what the word meant, but I had never considered it an option for me, until recently. I felt that it was my responsibility to pass the philosophy of abstinence on to my sister because I know that she will not get it in the "going to do it anyway" program that is used at her high school. Also, she is a virgin (her friend is, too), so I wanted to show her how important it is to hold onto that purity.
I started these discussions when I accidentally overheard my sister Kathy, and her friend, Michelle, talking about a "slut" that one of their friends was dating. I asked them why they considered her a slut, and Michelle responded: "She has slept with at least eight guys already, and she is easy." I asked them to think about why this girl is so promiscuous. Kathy said, "She's trying to keep a boyfriend." They assumed that having sex was a way of holding onto a boyfriend and showing love for one another. They also assumed that condoms would protect them from disease and pregnancy and that having sex had no implications for their future adult lives. My goal was to dispel all these myths.
We first tackled the issue of sex as "showing love" or "keeping a boyfriend." I used the girl they were talking about as an example of how boyfriends come and go whether girls have intercourse with them or not. We also talked about girls' feelings when they are rejected after giving part of themselves to another person. I then told them about my having pre-marital sex, and how I wished these relationships had never occurred and that the only true way to find out if a guy loves you is to make him wait until marriage.

We talked about the self-respect and courage involved in leading sexually abstinent lives until marriage. These two young girls developed a new awareness of how truly loving relationships and commitments develop and are sustained. Their awareness was evident in their response to my disclosing that I recently told my boyfriend that I wanted to abstain from sex from now on and he said he could not do this. I asked Kathy and Michelle if they thought the relationship was worth continuing, and they both said, "No, he does not love you if he won't wait for you." I was proud of their answer.
I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine.
I also wanted to make these girls aware of the physical dangers of pre-marital sex. I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine. They were shocked to find out that this friend contracted herpes from sexual intercourse while using a condom. We considered the possible implications of such diseases: the inability to conceive a baby, passing on a sexual disease to your spouse, and transmitting a disease to your baby in the womb or during delivery.
Besides being more confident in their virginity, Kathy and Michelle have now set the personal goal of saving sex for marriage. They also no longer pick apart boys or girls who are sexually active by calling them "sluts" or "pimps" but instead focus on the deeper consequences of such behaviors and on what promiscuous girls and boys must be lacking in their lives.
My sister and Michelle have recently asked two of their friends to join us in our discussions. I've also shared my project with the parents of these girls. These parents are beginning to realize that abstinence-based sex education is more beneficial than the model now used at their daughters' high school.
A pdf version of this article is available here .
Jessica Burberry. "Teaching my younger sister about sex and love." excellence & ethics (Summer, 1998).
Reprinted with permission. Excellence & Ethics , published by the Center for the 4th and 5th Rs , is the education letter of the Smart & Good Schools Project. It features essays, research, and K-12 best practices that help school leaders, teachers, students, parents, and community members do their best work (performance character) and do the right thing (moral character).
excellence & ethics is published twice a year and may be subscribed to, without cost, here .
Jessica Burberry (a pseudonym) is a first-year elementary school teacher and a graduate student in education at SUNY Cortland.
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I stayed at my sister’s house recently, as I have done many times when my husband works away from home.
However, on this particular night, she was called into work at the hospital at short notice.
I went to bed early but got up to go to the bathroom.
As I passed her bedroom, the door was ajar and I heard moaning from inside where my brother-in-law was supposed to be sleeping.
I saw him through the crack in the door and, for some reason that I cannot fathom, I took a deep breath, opened the door and stood there watching him pleasure himself.
He got even more excited so then I dropped my dressing gown and joined him in the bed. We had fantastic sex and never said a word to each other.
Since then nothing has been mentioned about this by either of us – it’s as if it never happened – but I can’t stop thinking about him.
This is weird for me as I have never been the sort of person to take matters into my own hands before or do anything impulsive.
I’m also 50 now and have been through the menopause, so what’s happening to me?
Maybe it’s connected to going through the menopause in your 40s. You might have wanted to prove that you’re still a sexual being and attractive to men. However, it’s just terribly sad that you’ve chosen your sister’s husband to live out this fantasy with.
You’re also married yourself, so you’ve cheated on your own hubby as well as betrayed your sister.
I think you know in your own heart that if you have any chance of having a relationship with your sister in the future that you a) can’t revisit it b) you can’t stay the night at hers again and c) you can’t tell her what happened.
What’s worrying is that you can’t stop thinking of him. I’m not condoning what either of you did, but sometimes ignorance is bliss. This might be one of those times, if you can guarantee it won’t happen again.
If you come clean, she’ll either dump her husband and your relationship will never be the same, or she’ll stay and cut you out. If you stay quiet, you have to live with it. Only you can decide.
The chances are if you did stay at your sister’s and she was called into work, it would happen again and become a regular thing.
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DEAR DEIDRE: THE two people I’m closest to in the world have done the dirty on me.
I’ve just discovered that my husband is cheating on me with my own sister.
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It’s such a huge shock, I’m feeling totally humiliated and can’t get myself out of bed.
I’m 37 and have been married to my husband, who is 39, for nine years. We have a son aged six.
My sister is two years younger than me, and I have always seen her as my best friend.
After I had a difficult birth, I stopped enjoying sex with my husband.
In the end it became a chore and we stopped altogether.
We’ve now been celibate for three years.
He assured me that it wasn’t a problem, saying he wasn’t a teenager any more, and that he didn’t need it.
He was clearly lying. My sister knows all about our sex life — or lack of it — because I confided in her.
She is single, and has been for years. She told me she had sworn off men after her ex cheated on her.
Then by sheer accident I found out they were sleeping together. My husband works away a lot and said he had a business trip.
Hours after he went, our oven packed up.
I needed to make a cake for a bake sale at my son’s school, so I called my sister to ask if I could use hers, but she didn’t pick up.
So I drove to her house and when she didn’t answer, I let myself in using my spare key.
But in the kitchen, I heard footsteps and voices from above, then my husband came down the stairs — totally naked.
I screamed in shock and he froze. Then my sister rushed down too, wearing just a robe.
It was obvious they’d just had sex. Neither of them could think of a reasonable explanation.
Hysterical, I ran out of the house, with my sister chasing after me, saying sorry.
I haven’t spoken to her since, and I’ve told my husband to pack his bags.
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You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
I feel utterly betrayed and alone, with nobody to turn to.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s the ultimate betrayal and must be unbearably painful.
I know you don’t want to talk to either of them, understandably, but sooner or later you need to, when you’re ready, for your own sake and your son’s.
You need to understand how this happened and express your anger and pain, or it will overwhelm you.
Take your time to decide what you want to do with them both – whether you want to repair those relationships or need a clean break.
Talking to a counsellor will help, and my support pack about this tells you more, while my pack, Cheating, Can You Get Over It? will help too.
If your husband wasn’t happy with your sexless relationship, he should have been honest with you.
But for now, you need to find a way forward, for your son’s sake.
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Six family secrets. Six incredible stories

“I asked, ‘does anybody else know?’ and she said, ‘no, I will go to the grave with this and you're to tell nobody.’"
"Everyone knew except me. How didn’t I know for the whole of my life?”
“She was a mess. She begged us not to tell our dad, and she said she’d stop.”
“I was angry. It was like it wasn’t a big thing, it was almost dropped in conversation."
"My father very nearly fell off his chair."
"I have to know and I can’t rest until I know who he is."




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All families have secrets of one kind or another.
Woman’s Hour on BBC Radio 4 asked listeners for their experiences of family secrets. Lots of people got in touch.
But six shocking stories stood out.
Reporter Jo Morris met Ellen*, Christine, Jess*, Liz*, Moira and Prue to hear them reveal their family secrets.
When Ellen* (not her real name) was a teenager, she decided to tell her mother that she was gay. She was not expecting her response.
“I’d been living my gay life quite quietly away from the family home and I just got to the point where I needed to talk to my parents about my life. I didn’t think I could continue not being honest with them.
“We were just standing between the living room and the kitchen and Mum was busy cooking.
“I eventually just turned around and said ‘Mum, I’m gay’. I said, ‘you don’t know what it’s been like’. She just span round and said, ‘I think I do’.”
Ellen’s mum told her that she’d had a relationship with a woman, but that she had married Ellen’s father and had never told anybody.
“I then asked, ‘does anybody else know?’ and she said, ‘no, I will go to the grave with this and you are to tell nobody.’ The way she fixed her gaze on me, when she said that, I knew she was serious.
“She said that she’d had a relationship, quite a long standing relationship with a woman and that her parents had written her a letter saying that if there was any form of relationship going on, that they didn’t approve and that it wasn’t an appropriate way to live a life.”
Ellen kept her mum’s secret for nearly 20 years. Her mum has now died. She feels like she’s finally able to talk about it.
“I’ve been able to have a career, have a family, and still be gay. My mum was technically denied the one thing she wanted, which was to be with probably the woman she loved. Now whether that was a relationship that would have continued, for the rest of her life, I don’t know.
“If you look at a lot of oral history about gay people, it tends to still predominantly focus around men. There are hundreds of women who did exactly what my mum did all through history. And their story is yet to be written.”
Christine was in her seventies when she found out her family’s secret. And it was just by accident.
“I grew up with my mum and dad, we lived in a flat. My parents were very secretive. We weren’t encouraged to speak to neighbours.
“I didn’t understand why but that’s how it was. It was only as I got older that I realised that not everybody was like that.”
Christine knew that her parents weren’t married and that the family had a difficult relationship with her mother’s sister, Jean.
“Nobody much liked her. Even her own mother didn’t like her very much.
“She had eight children by different men. My mum was her main support, financially. My mother looked after Jean her whole life.
“My mum and I used to go and visit her and take her stuff which she would then flog. We’d take clothes for the children, we’d take bed linen because the children would be sleeping on beds with no bed linen. We were always having to deal with her and get her out of scrapes and things.”
In 2016, Christine decided she wanted to see her full birth certificate as she’d only seen a shortened version. This gave her date of birth and that her grandmother registered her, but it didn’t say who her parents were. She sent off for the paperwork.
“Honestly, I don’t know what prompted me to do that. Nothing had happened.
“After I’d sent for [the full birth certificate] it suddenly came into my head, what could I possibly find out that could be really awful? And what I could possibly find out that would be really awful would be that Jean was my mother.
“When the birth certificate arrived, I opened it, not expecting to see anything like that, but there it was: Name of the mother, Jean Elsie Louise. Name of father, unknown.”
Christine’s birth mother was Jean, the woman she had known as her aunt.
“My mother’s whole family, they all knew. All her brothers knew. And my dad knew. Everyone knew except me. Even my dad’s sister knew evidently. How didn’t I know for the whole of my life?”
The secret has made Christine appreciate her mum who brought her up even more.
“As well as having loved my mum, I’m now very grateful to her, I don’t remember being grateful to her before.
“What is a mum? A mum is somebody who looks after their children, who loves them for their foibles, for their good bits, for their bad bits, and that’s who she was.”
What would you do if you discovered something that you thought could break up your whole family?
27-year-old Jess* (not her real name) got in touch to talk about the impact of a family secret she discovered when she was a teenager.
“At first I tried to not let it get to me, but that’s impossible. I kept just trying to push it to the back of my head, and then there’s a point when you just can’t do that anymore.”
At 14, Jess discovered that her mum was having an affair. She didn’t tell anyone for three years.
“I used to hang out with my mum a lot, go shopping, do girly things, and I just started to notice my mum acting differently.
“I got a suspicion that she was up to something by her facial expressions and the way she’d look at her phone when she was reading something. I’d never really seen her do that before.
“Me being suspicious and young, I obviously checked her
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