Fucking My Sister Before She Get Married
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Fucking My Sister Before She Get Married
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Countering "going to do it anyway."
I recently completed a graduate course in character education in which we were required to carry out an "action project." For my project I chose to use character-based sex education to try to instill in my younger sister and her friend the self-respect, self-control, and courage needed to lead moral, fulfilling, and healthy lives.
I wanted to inform my 14-year-old sister Kathy about something that I unfortunately just began to take seriously: abstinence. Sure, I have always known what the word meant, but I had never considered it an option for me, until recently. I felt that it was my responsibility to pass the philosophy of abstinence on to my sister because I know that she will not get it in the "going to do it anyway" program that is used at her high school. Also, she is a virgin (her friend is, too), so I wanted to show her how important it is to hold onto that purity.
I started these discussions when I accidentally overheard my sister Kathy, and her friend, Michelle, talking about a "slut" that one of their friends was dating. I asked them why they considered her a slut, and Michelle responded: "She has slept with at least eight guys already, and she is easy." I asked them to think about why this girl is so promiscuous. Kathy said, "She's trying to keep a boyfriend." They assumed that having sex was a way of holding onto a boyfriend and showing love for one another. They also assumed that condoms would protect them from disease and pregnancy and that having sex had no implications for their future adult lives. My goal was to dispel all these myths.
We first tackled the issue of sex as "showing love" or "keeping a boyfriend." I used the girl they were talking about as an example of how boyfriends come and go whether girls have intercourse with them or not. We also talked about girls' feelings when they are rejected after giving part of themselves to another person. I then told them about my having pre-marital sex, and how I wished these relationships had never occurred and that the only true way to find out if a guy loves you is to make him wait until marriage.
We talked about the self-respect and courage involved in leading sexually abstinent lives until marriage. These two young girls developed a new awareness of how truly loving relationships and commitments develop and are sustained. Their awareness was evident in their response to my disclosing that I recently told my boyfriend that I wanted to abstain from sex from now on and he said he could not do this. I asked Kathy and Michelle if they thought the relationship was worth continuing, and they both said, "No, he does not love you if he won't wait for you." I was proud of their answer.
I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine.
I also wanted to make these girls aware of the physical dangers of pre-marital sex. I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine. They were shocked to find out that this friend contracted herpes from sexual intercourse while using a condom. We considered the possible implications of such diseases: the inability to conceive a baby, passing on a sexual disease to your spouse, and transmitting a disease to your baby in the womb or during delivery.
Besides being more confident in their virginity, Kathy and Michelle have now set the personal goal of saving sex for marriage. They also no longer pick apart boys or girls who are sexually active by calling them "sluts" or "pimps" but instead focus on the deeper consequences of such behaviors and on what promiscuous girls and boys must be lacking in their lives.
My sister and Michelle have recently asked two of their friends to join us in our discussions. I've also shared my project with the parents of these girls. These parents are beginning to realize that abstinence-based sex education is more beneficial than the model now used at their daughters' high school.
A pdf version of this article is available here .
Jessica Burberry. "Teaching my younger sister about sex and love." excellence & ethics (Summer, 1998).
Reprinted with permission. Excellence & Ethics , published by the Center for the 4th and 5th Rs , is the education letter of the Smart & Good Schools Project. It features essays, research, and K-12 best practices that help school leaders, teachers, students, parents, and community members do their best work (performance character) and do the right thing (moral character).
excellence & ethics is published twice a year and may be subscribed to, without cost, here .
Jessica Burberry (a pseudonym) is a first-year elementary school teacher and a graduate student in education at SUNY Cortland.
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'Are you serious?' A man has revealed how a bizarre pre-wedding family tradition has lead to tension in his relationship.
Amy Sinclair / Lifestyle / Updated 24.05.2021
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A husband-to-be has shared his disbelief after his fiancée asked him to spend a night in a hotel with her mother.
The man said his partner told him of the bizarre “family marriage tradition” to enjoy a romantic night with her mum in the lead-up to their wedding.
He said he was expected to buy his future mother-in-law a dress for their “date night” as well as something to sleep in.
For more Lifestyle related news and videos check out Lifestyle >>
The fiancé would then be expected to take his wife-to-be’s mother out for an all-expenses-paid restaurant dinner before taking her back to a hotel for the night.
While he wasn’t expected to be intimate with his fiancee’s mum, she unbelievably told him she wouldn’t be upset if he was.
Sharing his story, the man said he initially thought his fiancee’s request was a joke.
But he soon learnt she was deadly serious.
“My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years and engaged for one,” the man said in a Reddit post.
“Not too long after we had been dating she told me about her family tradition for marriages.
“She said that the boy must take the mother of the bride out on a date night, buy her a dress and something to sleep in, pay for everything and buy them a hotel [night] to stay in.
“She said that it’s nothing to be worried or freaked out about and that getting the hotel doesn’t mean you have to sleep together (although a long time ago it did).
“I laughed a little bit and asked if she was serious. She said that she was.
“I had a hard time believing it but I didn’t care to discuss it anymore.
“We never really talked about it, until this past week. I had honestly pretty much forgot (sic) about it.
“My girlfriend and I have our wedding in less than a month.
“We were talking about wedding stuff and she asked me if I had picked out what her mum and I were going to do for our date night.
“I laughed it off and waited for her to move on. She didn’t, she looked confused as to why I was laughing.
“She insisted again that this was 100 per cent serious and that she expected me to do it.
“I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with doing that. I didn’t want to spend a night alone in a hotel with someone who wasn’t my girlfriend or wife.”
While insisting that he share a hotel bed with her mother, the fiancée explained how the disturbing tradition came about.
“I asked her why we would have to get a hotel,” he said.
“She explained that a long time ago the mother of the bride would actually sleep with the boy and that it was viewed as a way to kick off the marriage.
“I asked if she expected me to do that. She laughed and said of course not, but that she couldn’t be upset with me if it did happen.
“She then said that her mother doesn’t plan to actually do anything sexual.
“My girlfriend got more upset and asked me why I was refusing to follow a fun tradition.
“She said that I’m acting like a stubborn kid and that I should just have fun. I insisted that I wouldn’t do the hotel part.”
Since then, the man said relations have been tense with his future wife.
“She left and went on to tell her family,” he said.
“They have all reached out to me and asked me what is wrong with me and why I’m being such a jerk about it.
“The mum called me and she actually was nice about it.
“She said that she thinks I’m a great guy and that while she would love to have a night together, she understands that I have a right to say no.
“Nonetheless my girlfriend is still upset with me.”
Social media users were blown away by the man’s story, with all agreeing he has the right to say no.
“That sounds incredibly uncomfortable, and I would definitely be upset if my partner’s family expected me to do that,” said one.
Adde another: “The fact that she wouldn’t be upset if he slept with her mum. Just ... yikes.”
By Maeve Bannister / Health & Wellbeing
By Douglas Whitbread / Health & Wellbeing
By Maeve Bannister / Health & Wellbeing
By Douglas Whitbread / Health & Wellbeing
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A filmmaker discovers a video featuring his younger half-sister on a sex site. He hasn’t seen her for a while and decides to pay her a visit. He quickly becomes fascinated by her. With an unflinching gaze, this new drama by Aguilera (La influencia) dissects the dark, disruptive aspects of watching and making films.
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I’m writing this letter with tears in my eyes. I’m about to celebrate 30 years of marriage and my wife and I have three grown-up kids and the two boys still live with us at home. Last week, my wife and I were at an event with some of her friends and ended up going back to one of their houses for another drink. When it was time to go home, we called a taxi and I waited by the door for it while she carried on talking to her friends in the kitchen.
One of them asked her if she could go back and do one thing in life that she’s missed over the past 30 years, what would it be?
My wife replied: “Another night with John.” I was totally shocked – John was her ex-boyfriend who she lost her virginity with. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me and had to hold back the tears. None of them saw me standing by the door.
Then one of her friends asked why this was as she has such a good husband and my wife said: “But he lacks in the trouser department and John was a lot bigger and better in bed.” Then she went on to talk about the other four men she’d slept with who were all bigger than me.
I was devastated, not least because she’d always said she’d only slept with one other man before me. At that point, one of her friends saw me and insisted my wife hadn’t meant anything by what she’d said and that she was just drunk. My wife doesn’t know I heard any of this, although she knows something is wrong. I keep replaying it in my head and can’t sleep. How can I handle this? I’m thinking of walking away.
First of all, you have tell her what you overheard and explain how much it has hurt you, and that you don’t know how you can come back from it. I’m sure she’ll feel terrible because she probably was drunk and people do say things when they’re drunk that they’d never say sober.
But whatever she’s comparing you to, the fact is that your marriage has lasted 30 years. If these other guys were so wonderful, why did she choose you and stay with you for all this time? They are exes for a reason.
Whatever her reasons were for saying what she did, you can’t move forward unless you talk about it. She needs to know how hurt you are and you need to give her the chance to explain and apologise for hurting and embarrassing you.
This could obviously affect your confidence in bed and if you feel you can’t move on sexually, then it would be worth seeing a psychosexual counsellor. But I think you should work hard at not throwing away 30 good years for a drunken off-the-cuff remark.
Don’t let your ego and pride kick away everything you’ve built up.
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